learning not to expect much anymore. i know i was never the ace, the lucky or wild card, but i'm starting to understand i'm not your queen of hearts either. i'm starting to realize what should have gone through my head three years ago, when i sat alone on a half day- my heart stood up, my day ruined, my plans non-existant. it was my birthday, but ( Read more... )

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took pictures of everyone wearing the zeh-bra scarf.
yes. i'm a nerd. and yes. you love me.
i miss maxine.
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last night i lay on a bed covered in lights;
twinkle lights, the real kind, the "french kind,"
as he would say. i opened boxes of gifts, and even
his mother brought me a candle. and incense. and
a hug. and his stuffed bear was an inside joke
and the scarf was just what i had asked for. and
the sheets were clean and cold, and my legs were
soft and warm, ( Read more... )

"he...was...livid."

"since when is the vagina such a mystery? i mean, it's my clitoris... not the sphinx."

"bitchtits."

"please geoff, no drinks around the computers." "...how ironic."

"he's sad... like a grape..."

"i'm the christmas teddy... LOVE ME!"

her honestly. who's the last girl you were with that felt like, if i don't kiss her i am going to die. and so you did. kiss her.
him i don't think i've ever had someone like that.
her there hasn't been someone you couldn't get enough of? that you couldnt tear yourself away from?
him not even close.
...
her you're smart, at least.
him that's ( Read more... )

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i want someone to be awake. here. with me ( Read more... )

Got home and went through almost an entire bar of soap, aimlessly scrubbing, subconciously erasing, passionately scalding myself. Blood collecting at the drain, what the fuck? Somehow I stepped on a razor and didn't even realize. My skin is mottled, my chest is hot, I choke on steam. Gag. I hate being alive right now. I try to cry, try to call up ( Read more... )