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[fingerpaint_me_]

i think its kind of sad that i, 99% of the time, feel more included/loved/remembered by the people i barely see than the people i see every day.
sometimes i wonder that if i could stop going to east (like if my parents started doing drugs or something and were like "yeah, it's ok if you dont do IB") if i actually would do it.
im not necessarily

Comments

[the_mixedtape]

i know what you mean.
i go through that every day.
feel better though because at least you've got people thinking of you. and you're alive, of course.

[blazing_ice]

i know how you're feeling.
i feel more comfortable and loved by you and sarah and meagan than i do by many of my school/swim/club friends.
but i wouldn't change my decision to go to Independence for any reason. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me academically, socially, and just in general. I've grown as an individual because of it. And I think that may be what you're doing. Maybe it's time to try something totally new. I mean, you've got a steady thing like band going for you, maybe join a team over the spring or winter when band isn't marching and stuff. I mean, I'm not really sure how it works, but doing something like that, entering a writing/music/something contest really helps you develop a sense of individuality :)

anyway, i love you. and i'm glad i can be here to talk to you every day. because i look forward to it every day. :)

You have to know that...

[another_soandso]

We've all changed a lot this year. Like if we were to take a snapshot of any day only a year ago and then compare it to now, it'd be drastically different. Don't ever think that I don't love you, because I do. But I also know that I'm partly responsible for you not knowing that and feeling disconnected. Actually in the last few weeks I've grown more than you would even think was possible. I don't care about what other people think anymore, and sadly last year I would have freaked out if even one or two people didn't like me. I just don't care and I love it. And lately I've neglected most people for no apparent reason other than I'm tired of drama and I'm trying to find myself. I am and probably always will be connected at the hip with Kaitlin and Marisa because we spend so much time together and lately I've been spending a pretty large amount of my time with Mike. I just talk to him more than any one else and I love that nothings falling apart in this moment in time. Half the time I almost dread having to walk up the hill and stand in

Part 2

[another_soandso]

You're right in the fact that I haven't helped at all in the 'Forgetting Shruthi file', but I just wanted to make sure that you knew that lately I've been neglecting almost everyone but the Akers and Mike. I'm going to really make more of an effort to connect with you and other people but mostly you. I talked to Maddie today on the phone and we're thinking about all of us, like you, me, and Maddie, hanging out next weekend. Because I really do miss you and I'm sorry that I didn't make more of an effort before.

It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one, who gets tired of the fakeness that surrounds different things this year. : /

♥

[psychopsycho227]

aww! You're a cool kid too!! I can't believe I haven't read your journal in so long.
I hope you're doing ok. I'm still your friend, I still love talking to you, and, as said before, I think you're a VERY cool kid. =))
LOVE