Fic: Resistance (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Resistance
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Aaron Hotchner
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“This is wrong. This is so wrong.” Morgan complained from the couch. He wiped his runny nose with a tissue. “This should be you, not me!”
“Did you say something?” Reid asked and placed a mug full of steaming tea on the table in front of him.
“I said that this should have happened to you!”
“Sorry, you’ve been complaining for two hours. I tuned out a long time ago. Why do you think it should me who’s sick?”
“Because I don’t get sick. You’re thin as a railing, you eat crap food, you don’t exercise, and you don’t do anything for your body. Why me? I take care of myself.”
“It’s a flu. It doesn’t care how many times a day you go to the gym.”
“You walked three blocks in a rain because you forgot to get gummy bears, and you didn’t get it.”
“Getting wet or cold has nothing to do with-”
“I know! But I got it, Prentiss has it and Rossi has it! And you’re fine! It’s not fair.”
“Wait a minute.” Reid dug his ringing cell phone from his pocket and went to the kitchen to take the call. He came back few minutes later.
“What was that?”
“Update. You, Prentiss, Rossi and Hotch.”
“We’re what?”
“You all have the same flu. Hotch called, he’ll be on sick leave for the rest of the week. They’re calling Thompson’s team to cover for us if we get any new cases.”
“What about you?”
“I get the rest of the week off too. I just have to cover Hotch`s lecture for the rookies, but other than that I’m free to take care of you.”
“Are you gonna get a nurse’s costume?”
“I’m already a doctor, why bother?”
Morgan took a long breath. “Hanging out with me has really done wonders for your ego. Are we gonna play doctor?”
“When you are still contagious? No.”
“So we’re gonna spend the week together and we can’t do anything? That’s so-” He was interrupted by a giant sneeze. “-wrong.”
“We’re always spending the week together, even when we’re working. Remember when we had that case in Buffalo? We didn’t have sex of any description for over a week.”
“Nine days, six hours, forty-two minutes.”
“What?” Reid’s phone was ringing again.
“It was nine days, six hours and forty-two minutes. It was so painful I can still remember it.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” Reid opened his phone. “Reid. Hey…. Really? Too bad…. Get well soon, I’ll tell him. Bye.”
“You’ll tell me what?”
“You, Prentiss, Rossi, Hotch and J.J.”
“You mean she got it too?”
“Yeah, she had to hung up because her nose was running over the phone.”
“This is like a bad joke…. We all had our flu shots just couple months ago. Except you, because you were scared of needles.”
“It had nothing to do with needles.” Reid blushed and looked horribly insulted. “There is absolutely no real evidence on the effectiveness of-”
“Babe, I’m really sick here, can you skip the lecture?”
“Sorry. You want me to get you something?”
“What do you got?”
“I brought some chicken soup.”
“Fresh or can?”
“Can. But we got some chicken in the freezer, we could grill that.”
“That`s your answer to everything nowadays, isn’t is? Ever since I taught you to use the grill, you wanna use it. I can`t even go near it anymore.”
“You said yourself that it is the only manly way to cook. Although, anthropologically speaking-”
“You’re doing it again!”
“You’re really grouchy.”
“I’m sick as a dog, and my annoyingly healthy boyfriend and co-worker is chirping like a demented cuckoo-clock. And like the icing on the cake, I think I’m gonna….. gonna…..” He tried to hold the sneeze in, but he didn’t succeed. The content of his nose spread all over his shirt. “….sneeze again.”
“Bless you?” Reid commented carefully. “Take it off, I’ll go get you a new shirt.”
Morgan started to peel the soiled shirt carefully away, when Reid’s phone rang again.
He went to take the call in the kitchen and returned few minutes later.
“You’re not going to believe this….”
“Please don’t tell me….”
“You, Prentiss, Rossi, Hotch, J.J. and Garcia.”
“She called you and it lasted just few minutes? She must be really sick….”
“Actually she’s really enjoying it. Kevin’s there serving her every divine little need, as she herself put it.”
“So why aren’t you serving my little needs?”
“Because I don’t want you to cover me with snot in the middle of sex?”
“Can’t you at least give me a helping hand? You haven’t touched me for weeks!”
“We had sex yesterday, remember? Few hours later you started to wonder if it’s normal that your temperature suddenly jumps to 103,6. Did you know that the levels of fever depends on the method of measuring?”
“Babe-”
“When a patient has fever, his oral temperature is over 37.5 °C or 99.5 °F, rectal temperature is at or over 37.8 °C or 100.0 °F, and-”
“Pretty Boy, if you mention the temperature of my rectum one more time, I’ll go get the thermometer and I’ll shove it up your ass.”
Morgan paused for a minute.
“Sorry, babe. I just wanna shove something else up your ass and this constant sneezing is driving me crazy.”
“That’s okay. You want that soup?”
“Yeah.” Morgan gave him a hopeful look. “Can I at least get a hand job if I wear my motorcycle helmet?”
“Ask me again after the soup.” Reid disappeared to the kitchen.