Fic: Listing (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Listing
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
Reid took a good look at Morgan. The man was sitting on the couch but he wasn’t watching the TV anymore. Instead he was scribbling furiously on a notepad. His lap was full of sheets of paper, all filled with small scribble.
“Sudden inspiration?”
Morgan didn’t react, he just kept writing.
“Morgan, you mom called. She wants to know when we’re going to start adopting.”
This time Morgan snapped out of his trance and stared at him with a look of shocked stupor.
“Tell me you’re joking.”
“I am, I just wanted to get your attention. I’m gone for two hours and you decide to write a novel.”
“No, I just started thinking. Have you ever thought how many times we’ve all been in danger?”
“Yes, and I really don’t want to be reminded about that. And when do we eat?” Reid sat down on the couch, pushing some of the papers aside.
“Anyway, I started thinking that Hundred Things to do Before Death List thing, that Gideon did.”
“Remember how that ended? He had to hobble around with those crutches for ages.”
“Not the point here, babe. We never know how long we have.”
“That’s how it goes with all professions. Did you know that statistically doctors and lawyers are less likely to reach seventy than cops?”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. They deal with heavy stress, tight schedules, environment that encourages them to make bad nutritional choices. The rate of heart problems among those professions is staggering. But back to the issue, why are you writing a list? And what do we have for dinner?”
“I wanted to write down all the stuff I still want to do, somebody said it gives clarity.”
“So what goals do you have?”
“Read them yourself.” Morgan grinned and handed him some of the papers.
Reid took them and scanned the pages from top to bottom.
“Morgan, these are…..”
“All the sexual positions I want to try before I die.”
“We’ve done most of these.”
“Sorry, I forgot this.” Morgan gave him one more paper.
“What’s this?”
“I had to put the footnotes on a separate sheet.”
“Footnotes? Who uses footnotes on a-” Reid paused when he saw the list of footnotes.
“Don’t say no right away.”
“Morgan….I know how important sex is to you, and I understand your desire to collect various experiences on that area, and I honestly don’t mind as long as you do your experimenting at home.”
“I wouldn’t experiment anywhere else, babe…..”
“But this…..”
“Pretty Boy-”
“In a swing set? Where did you even get the idea?”
“Garcia said it’s a real rush.”
“Two things. Firstly, she had a swing set in her own bedroom. Secondly, she got rid of it after that accident.”
“It was Kevin’s fault.”
“He lost three teeth. We’re not doing it.”
“What about number eighty-three?”
Reid gave him a long look. “What is it with you and Jell-O?”
“It’s fun!”
“I know and we’ve done it before.”
“Not on Hotch`s desk.”
“Forget it. What else do you have? Something that does not include suggestions for positions, accessories or locations for a sexual intercourse.”
“Okay…..” Morgan tossed the next few pages on the floor. “Okay, I found some. I want to have my mom and sisters here for a week or two.”
“Why?”
“We always go to Chicago, they haven’t been here during the time you’ve lived here.”
“So? They’re busy, and so are we. And I thought you liked going to Chicago and staying with your mom.”
“I do like it, but…. It would be kinda nice to have her here and show how well my life turned out after all.”
“Interesting thought.”
“Sounds like a school kid showing off, right?”
“No, it’s actually pretty sweet. And that’s something we can actually do. What else do you have?”
“I wanna get another dog.”
“That one we can consider, but I make no promises. Next.”
“I wanna take a vacation in Hawaii, spread a blanket on the beach and make hot man love to you during a sunset.”
“Very picturesque. Remember what happened last time we spend our vacation on the beach?”
“Yeah, but this time I’ll make sure you’re covered with sunscreen. I’ll take care of it personally.”
Reid blushed and grabbed that sheet of paper from Morgan. “What else?”
“When I hit sixty I’ll start eating whatever I want.”
“You already do that now.”
“Yeah, but when I’m sixty I’ll pig out with all the good stuff without a three hour guilt binge at the gym.”
“Don’t talk about food, I’m hungry. Anything else?”
“I want both of us to stay alive so we retire at the same time and never see another homicidal looney ever again.”
“Sounds good to me.” Reid leaned against Morgan’s shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against the shirt. “What do you want to do when we’ve retired?”
“Simple life. Good food, fantastic sex, a good night sleep every night, and Clooney the Fifth.”
“Actually, if we assume the average age for a dog like Clooney is fifteen or sixteen years, it would be Clooney the-”
“You got the idea, don’t go into details.”
“And you don’t think you’ll get bored?”
“Nope. You and Clooney, how can I get bored with that combo?”
“Good answer.” Reid chuckled. “And Morgan….”
“Yeah?”
“If you go and get me some spring rolls from that Chinese take-out place, I might consider number seventy-nine.”
“Really?” Morgan looked like a kid on Christmas morning. He leaped up from the couch. “I’ll be back in half an hour.”