Fic: Dearly Departed (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Dearly Departed
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Aaron Hotchner
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
Follows:
Threats
“Promise me.” Morgan demanded when they stepped out of the elevator.
“I’ll act professionally.” Reid sighed. “But it doesn’t’t mean I don’t object on his actions. I was so angry when I heard about it, I thought I would burst.”
“I remember.” Morgan smirked. “After I calmed you down my ass was sore for ages.”
“Morgan, that’s not a very professional choice of words in the office. Especially on Monday morning.”
“I can’t help it. You and a liquorice whip…..”
“You’re trying to make me blush again.”
“Yep.”
“At least you two are here.” J.J. sighed and came down the stairs to the bullpen. “We’re two men down. Prentiss just called, she has the flue.”
“Again?”
“Yeah. That was two hours after Hotch called me. And woke me up, by the way. He’s taking some time off and he wont be back for at least three days.”
“Why?” Morgan asked, but he could see the look on Reid’s face. The genius had obviously guessed what was going on.
“He didn’t say. I’m just hoping we don’t get any new cases we need to work on right now. I heard Rossi coughing in his office ten minutes ago. If he leaves too, I’ll do something desperate.”
“Okay, I…. I need to check something. I’ll be right back.” Reid dumped his bag on his desk and headed to Garcia’s bunker. Morgan reached him when he was about to knock.
“Babe, you know something, I can see it. Tell me.”
“I just want a confirmation first. You stay here.”
“Why?”
“Because this is confidential.” Reid slid in and closed the door.
“If it isn’t my BrainTroll.” Garcia turned away from her monitors to face him. “Where did you leave the hubby?”
“He’s waiting behind the door, I want to talk to you about something.”
“I think I know what you’re talking about….”
“You do?”
“Yeah, but I can’t just dump Kevin. And my HoneyMoomin would never forgive me for stealing his man.”
“That’s…. close, but not exactly. I need you to do something for me.”
“Last time someone said that to me I ended up sitting in the middle of a park wearing my tiniest little teddy and a jar of raspberry jam.”
“Not that kind of Something. Can you track down Hotch`s credit card records?”
“Why?”
“Just to confirm my suspicions.”
“I could get fired for that!”
“Never stopped you before.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“For example when you hacked into my e-mail account to send some pornographic messages to Morgan under my name.”
“I don’t remember that…..”
“And you asked him to set up a webcam and put on a strip show.”
“Oh that….”
“And by the way, he guessed right away it was you.”
“Damn…..”
“And when we came back from the gig I did get a strip show. A live show.”
“You don’t need to rub it in.”
“And if you do what I ask…..”
“Then what?”
“I wont tell Morgan what you did with his thongs.”
“Fine, you win.” Garcia turned to tap the keyboard in front of her. “Wait a minute…. Okay, I found it.”
“What’s the last purchase?”
“This morning….. He bought a plane ticket to Atlanta.”
“That’s what I thought.” Reid grinned. “Thanks.”
“Aren’t you gonna tell me what that was about?”
“No.”
“Come on, you gotta tell me!”
“No, I don’t.”
“Tell me or…. Or…..”
“Or what?”
“I’ll mail those Photoshop pics I made of you, ChocoButt and Hotch in a frolicking threesome to all the girls in the building.”
“And I know you wont do it, because someone would make a complaint for that anyway, and you’d have your own head on the chopping block. That was a metaphor, I’m trying humanise my speech patterns-”
“Are you blackmailing me?”
“Of course not. You made a suggestion and I made a counter suggestion. See you later.” Reid pulled the door open and walked out. Morgan was waiting on the other side.
“Pretty Boy, you got ten second to explain this to me before I take you to the supply closet and tickle it out of you.”
“I was right.” Reid beamed.
“About what?”
“Hotch. He bought a plane ticket to Atlanta.”
“So?”
“Chad starts his training course there today.”
Realisation dawned on Morgan. “So he`s trying to fix it. You think they’re gonna patch things up?”
“They better, or….” Reid paused to think. He looked sincerily stunned. “Tell me honestly….. Have I been unusually aggressive lately?”
“Yep, but don’t worry. It’s pretty hot.”
“You got that weird look on your face again.”
“What look?”
“That look you usually have before you start salivating excessively.”
“I told you: It’s exiting when you take charge.”
“I can see that.”
“Does that mean we can try the liquorice whips again?”
“Maybe. How bout this….. If Hotch and Chad get things figured out, you’ll get to play with the liquorice again and eat it afterwards.”
“And if they don’t?”
“You don’t get to eat the whip afterwards.”
“I`ll win either way.” Morgan agreed.