Fic: Garcia`s Nirvana (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Garcia`s Nirvana
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Penelope Garcia,
Chad Christensen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“Okay, HoneyBunny, what’s going on?” Garcia parked her rear end on Morgan’s desk and seemed way too happy for his taste. Especially when going home was still hours away and the break room was out of coffee.
“Going on with what?”
“If you’re planning a threesome, I demand the recording rights, and display righs for that recording for my own personal use. And for my girlfriends, but only for our poker nights.”
“Can you clear your head for a minute and tell me what you’re talking about?”
“Reid and your twin.“
“My twin?“
“That Christensen guy.”
“What about them?”
“I saw them going to the elevator in the lobby.”
“So?”
“The guy was wearing a leather motorcycling outfit, you should have seen that tush….”
“Get to the point.”
“That’s why he’s here, I know it.”
“He’s here for what?”
“Some three-way-man-love.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but he’s here for Hotch.”
“My Hotchie-Poochie? Why?”
“He’s on vacation, and he’s staying at Hotch`s place. He was gonna check Reid’s lecture for the new rookies and then take Hotch out for lunch.”
“That’s all?” Garcia looked like a little girl who had just lost her toy. “No-one’s gonna get naked? Even for a little while?”
“Not in the office.”
“Wait a minute.“ The look on Garcia`s face turned from melancholy to suspicious. “Why is that guy suddenly so buddy-buddy with Hotchie? I thought they barely knew each other.”
“I think they found some…. common interests. Chad does a lot of martial art and weapon training, maybe they’re planning some new training sessions. Or maybe he`s giving him some private lessons.”
“I thought martial arts were your area.”
“Well…. I….. It’s really not my place to tell.”
“So there’s something to tell.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You did. So why is he sniffing around here? Because I don’t buy that training story for a minute. Is he after our Brainiac?”
“No.”
“You?”
“No.”
“Both of you?”
“Still no.”
“Damn….”
“Are really still hanging on to that threesome fantasy?”
“Yes! It would be so hot!” Garcia let out a frustrated sigh. “Think about it. Our little genius, looking all pretty and delicate. And then….. Two delicious, identical chocostuds taking turns….. My Yummybrain using all his brain matter to come up with new and creative positions….” Her voice faded and her eyes turned glazy.
“Penny?” Morgan waved his hand in front of her face.
“Sorry.” She snapped back to reality. “I think my fantasies are really getting out of hand. If I don’t find an outlet soon, I’m gonna have to cover up Kevin with dark shoepolish.”
“If you knew the whole truth your brain would probably melt.” Morgan grinned. “I can’t believe you haven’t come up with anything else besides our threesome.”
“Come on, it’s not a mental image you can easily forget. You should really think about it. Just look at this.” She pulled a stack of papers from her bag and showed one of them to Morgan. It was a photoshopped picture of him, Reid and Chad in a rather risqué situation. They looked quite realistic but closer examination revelaled the lines between the heads and the bodies.
“Forget it. I have no interest in sharing, especially with Reid’s ex.”
“Talking about me?” Chad walked closer and pulled his leatherjacket off. Garcia’s eyes went from him to Morgan and back again. Chad waited patiently while Morgan tried to suppress a chuckle.
“It’s so freaky….”
“What is?” Chad asked.
“You two! Same body, same face, same yummy butt, same grin, same gestures….”
Morgan and Chad turned to look at each other briefly.
“I don’t see it.”
“Me neither.”
“Come on, how can you miss it? You even have the same taste in men!”
“Just one man.” Morgan corrected and looked uncomfortable.
“What do you mean?” Garcia demanded. “Tell me! I showed you my art project! Two Hunks and a Genius.”
“Art project?” Chad repeated.
“This.” Morgan gave him the doctored picture.
“Pretty nice.”
“Trust me, that’s nothing compared to the images in my head.” Garcia giggled.
Chad gave her a crooked smile. “Actually…. I think I can make those mental images even hotter for you.”
He leaned closer to whisper something to Garcia’s ear. Morgan couldn’t hear what he said, but he saw her face turn blank. She just stared at him blindly, not saying a word.
“Come on, baby, wake up.” Morgan snapped his fingers but she didn’t react. “That’s the second time today she does that."
“I…..I…..I….. I need a minute alone.” She finally said with a faint voice. She turned around and headed back to her bunker.
“What the hell did you say to her?”
“Nothing big.” Chad smirked. “I just mentioned that I have a younger brother who looks just like me.”