Fic: Group Initiation / Clooney`s Trauma (Criminal Minds / Numb3rs)
Title: Group Initiation
Fandom: Criminal Minds / Numb3rs
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Aaron Hotchner / Chad Christensen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“Ready to go?”
Hotch prodded the phone between his ear and shoulder while he shut off his computer.
“Almost. Where are you?”
“I finished my last class.” Chad informed. “I’ll take a quick shower and meet you at your office, okay?”
“Okay, but are you sure you want to do it? We could just go home.”
“Are you kidding? Drinks with your team, what could be more amusing than that? Besides I haven’t really met any of them except Spencer and Morgan. And that weird blond.”
“Garcia?”
“Yep. She’s a real character.”
“That’s one way to put it. I just meant that they don’t know about…. you know.”
“That we’re doing the two-male-tango?
“Yes. I mean…. I don’t mind if you don’t mind.”
“Why would I mind? Do you want to tell them?”
“I don’t know, I think they will probably put the pieces together by themselves.”
“Okay, we’ll go and let them draw their own conclusions. I even got a distraction.”
“Distraction?”
“Someone I knew from L.A. is here on a job, he’s staying for few days.”
“Friend or ex?”
“Friend.”
“And you want to take him with us to the team get together?”
“Yep.”
“You know they’ll be all over him, trying to figure out what’s going on?”
“Exactly.”
“That’s low.”
“And brilliant.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hotch managed to keep his amusement under control, but Chad was chuckling uncontrollably. On the other side of the table Reid was explaining something obviously very complex to Chad’s friend who didn’t seem to mind being the only audience of the genius’s lecture.
Finally Morgan pulled Reid to the dance floor and they both disappeared into the crowd.
“Martin….” Hotch started and this time there was a small grin on his face. “Sorry about that. He can be little bit overwhelming sometimes.”
“I don’t mind.” Martin smirked. “I’m very experienced, we got one just like him back home.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, so I’m used to listening long rants about stuff I don’t understand.” He took a sip from his beer and gave Hotch and Chad a playful glance. “So… you two. They don’t know, do they? Except doctor Reid, that guy who was with him, and that freaky one.”
“Very nicely summarised. In case you didn’t notice you lost the interest of the ladies when they figured out you’re taken.”
“I already got one Fed, I don’t need another one.”
“Hey.” Reid greeted them, sounding out of breath. He placed a drink tray on the table. “Morgan lost the bet with Garcia, so he’s buying.” He pointed to the other side of the bar, where Garcia was trying to teach Prentiss the basics of dirty dancing. J.J. was observing their lessons and laughing uncontrollably.
“What was the bet?” Hotch asked.
“You.”
“Me?”
“And Chad. How long it would take before people figured it out when you two are here together. I think he missed the surprise element of adding a strange component to the established group.” He gave Martin a little smile. “Sorry. Was that an insulting remark?”
“Calling me a strange component? I can live with it.”
“And Chad is going through the basic group initiation phase, so maybe you made it easier for everyone. Did you tell them we know some of the same people in L.A.?”
“No, he didn`t, and how do you know people in L.A.?” Morgan had appeared behind his back with another tray of drinks.
“Remember when we had that Carson case couple years ago?”
“No.”
“Obese middle-aged man who had an abnormal interest in all kinds of bodily extracts.”
“Okay, I remember now.”
“Anyway, doctor Eppes was working in the same floor on another case, we started talking and he invited me to listen to his lecture at CalSci. I tried to drag you there but you didn’t want to come with me.”
“I don’t remember any of that…..”
“Short guy, curly hair.”
“Still no.”
“He came to Quantico last your to lecture about the revised version of the fingerprint identification software.”
“Was he the same guy who compared fingerprints to an error on a wallpaper pattern?”
“Same guy.”
“I never understood what he meant with that….”
“Don’t worry, I’ll explain it to your later.”
“But not now, I wanna dance.” Morgan grabbed him by the arm and pulled the reluctant genius back to the dancefloor.
“Are those two always like that?” Martin asked.
“Pretty much.” Chad grinned. “But anyway, I should thank you.”
“What did I do?”
“Took the attention away from us. First time around these guys is always the weirdest.”
“Are you talking about me or yourself?”
“Both.”
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Title: Clooney`s Trauma
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
“Now listen carefully.” Morgan put on his most menacing expression. “You didn’t see anything. You may think you did but it was all in your head. You had a freaky dream and that was it.”
Clooney tilted his head and sighed. He didn’t seem interested in listening Morgan’s explanations.
“Morgan, stop that.” Reid stated. He sounded just as disinterested as Clooney.
“If we don’t do something he’ll be scarred for life!”
“No, he wont.”
“And he’ll have nightmares!”
“Morgan-”
“And then he’ll come to our bedroom with that accusing face!”
“Accusing face?”
“You know what I mean. How would you feel if you walked into the living room and saw your two daddies doing what we did?”
“Morgan…..” Reid tried to control his giggles. "Last month he saw neighbours bulldogs copulating on their driveway. Before Mr. Bridges turned on the hose….. But anyway, it’s a dog! To them mating is a perfectly natural part of life.”
“Not when it’s about his daddies! We need to take him to a dog psychologist.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, he can convince Clooney that it was all just a bad dream.”
“Morgan, I’m going to make a little stab in the dark here….. Did your mom do something like that to you when you were a kid and you walked in on them?”
“I never walked in on them!”
“So why is this such a big deal?”
“He’s my baby! My baby saw my little Profiler!”
“Well, he didn’t see mine.”
“That’s just because I was-” Morgan paused and covered Clooney’s ears with his hands. “We can’t talk about that when he’s here.”
“Morgan, he’s not even awake anymore.”
“He’s not?” Morgan turned to look carefully at the dog in question. He was snoring peacefully, with Morgan’s hands still on his ears.
“Now listen.” Reid sat down on the floor next to Morgan and Clooney. “Clooney has seen Garcia dressed as a naughty nurse, Rossi after five drinks, Hotch without his suit and tie, and somehow he hasn’t been traumatised. Seeing us like that is not gonna upset him. Trust me, I’m a genius.”
“You have some pretty good arguments.” Morgan admitted.
“I always have good arguments. By the way, did you know the word nightmare comes from a German word mare? It was first recorded in literary form in the 13th century, but the term itself is a lot older. Mare was an evil spirit who came and sat down on sleepers chest, causing him to have bad dreams. Actually the Danish word for nightmare is mareridt, meaning mare-ridden.”
“Are you trying to distract me?”
“Possibly. Is it working?”
“Possibly. But next time we’ll lock Clooney to the closet. And blindfold him.”
“Going overboard again….”
“Sorry.”
“Think about it this way.” Reid grinned. “You’re his daddy. In the canine world parents are basically just males and bitches. In the biological, non-derogatory sense of the word.”
“Are you trying to tell me that Clooney now thinks his daddy is your bitch?”
“Basically….. Yes.”