Fic: Doggie Style / Crisis (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner / Chad)
Title: Doggie Style
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“Morgan.” Reid kept scratching his chin with one finger, looking like he was in deep thoughts. He still hadn’t taken his shoes and coat off after coming back from walking Clooney.
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever thought about the responsibilities of a canine owner?”
“More specifically?”
“Having Clooney…. treated?”
“For what?”
“As a pre-emptive action.”
“What are you talking about?”
“When we went past Hepplewhite`s house, Clooney escaped. He just yanked the leash out of my hand.”
“Don’t tell me he attack somebody…..”
“In a way….”
“Who?”
“Hepplewhite`s garden gnome.”
“His wife?”
“No, an actual garden gnome. He tried to mate with it.”
“You mean my boy escaped to hump a garden ornament?”
“Yeah. That got me thinking if you’ve had him… you know.”
“What?”
“Operated. I know the operation doesn’t completely cut the sexual drive of the animal, so I thought you may have had it done, but-”
“I haven’t.”
“Why not?”
“I thought about it, but it’s just so horrible.”
“Horrible?”
“Think about it. A vet comes to you with a scalpel and-”
“Morgan, he operates the pets, not the owners.”
“Yeah, but it’s a male thing! We males have to have solidarity for one another!”
“And what if he escapes and finds another dog to copulate with?”
“He wouldn’t.”
“Apparently he would. He got completely out of control when he saw that same poodle who’s always at the dog park at the time we are. He almost yanked my arm off.”
“That’s totally normal. You don’t complain when I try to hump your leg.”
“Funny thing…. That was Clooney’s next phase.”
“You mean….?”
“Exactly. I think I’ll have to burn these pants.”
“I’ll get him to the vet tomorrow.”
“You will?”
“Yep. Humping your leg is my prerogative.”
Title: Crisis
Pair: Aaron Hotchner / Chad Christensen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
“You think I don’t notice?” Chad smirked. He pulled the cover aside and got up from the bed.
“I don’t know what you mean. Grey or black?” Hotch held two ties in front of him.
“Neither. Put the one I got for you.”
“That’s not exactly for work use.”
“A lot of people use red at work, nobody cares. And you’re not even going to work today!”
“It’s not my style.”
“It should be. Put it on. And you know exactly what I was talking about.”
“I don’t.”
“You do the same thing every morning when you think I see notice. You walk to the bathroom to shave and then the whole moaning and heave sighing starts.”
“I don’t moan or sigh.”
“You do. What is it? Forty-something crisis?”
“No. No crisis.”
“But years are piling up?”
“On my waist.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“No, I should take better care of myself, I’m not getting any younger.”
“Nobody’s getting any younger. Besides, I kinda like your bellybulge.”
“I don’t have a bellybulge.”
“It was a compliment! And I think your ass has grown a little bit too.”
“That definitely wasn’t a compliment.”
“It was! It looks good on you. And think about it this way: You’re not the oldest or the flabbiest guy in your team. There’s always Rossi.”
“So you do think I’m old and flabby.”
“This is like talking to a pregnant woman….. When Maris had her first kid she kept asking “How do I look?” and “I’m enormous!”. And if you agreed with her she bit your head off.”
“But this doesn’t go away after nine months.”
“Babe….” Chad approached him from behind, wrapping his arms around Hotch`s waist and pressing their bodies together. “You’re missing the point here. You`re one hot guy and the whole mature man-style suits you. You got a job you like, despite all the side products of it. You got a great kid. You got a hot man who’s willing to serve as your sex slave on a thirty seconds notice.” He nuzzled the other man’s neck with his nose.
“Thirty seconds?” Hotch asked, but it was obvious that he was holding a grin.
“You know I’m right. And that little extra here….” Chad hand pulled back to stroke Hotch`s butt. “Makes it even prettier.”
“Pretty is not exactly the word I would use when talking about that part of my body.”
“I would. But I can come up with new descriptions. How bout…. picturesque?”
“Maybe not.” Hotch chuckled.
“Well, I need to take another look at it.”
“Right now?”
“Yeah, you don’t need to go anywhere today.”
“You’ll need all day?”
“I wanna delve deep into this topic, so that I can give my deep probing analysis.”
“How thorough is that analysis? Is it enough if I take off my pants or should I take the rest of my clothes of too?”
“All of it. Except the tie.”