Fic: Too Tired (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Too Tired
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“Are you here?” Reid asked and slammed his messenger bag to the hall in he foyer.
“We’re watching TV.” Morgan yelled back from the living room. “I thought you were supposed to come back hours ago.”
“I was.” Reid slumped down next to him and Clooney on the couch. “Next time I agree to handle Hotch`s rookie lecture, just shoot me right there.”
“Come on, couldn’t have been that bad.”
“It was worse. Remember that woman on TV who tired to teach sign language to a bunch of apes?”
“Yeah.”
“This was just like it. I even tried to imitate Hotch`s glare.”
“You mean the Death Glower?”
“Yeah, but it didn’t work.”
“Show me.”
Reid gave him a weak reproduction of Hotch`s Death Glower.
“Nope.” Morgan commented. “That’s more like a Pussycat Glower.”
“Thanks a lot…. But I did get to listen to me.”
“How?”
“Well…. It wasn’t me actually. The group went for lunch and somehow they heard about the LDSK case.”
“You mean when you shot that guy….”
“…between the eyes, yes. After that they wanted to hear all about it.”
“That’s understandable. They haven’t had a chance to shoot anyone yet.”
“That’s not funny. Or even amusing.”
“Okay, it’s not funny, but it helped, right? People look at you differently when they know you’re a real, seasoned agent who has actually killed suspects.”
“What is that? The initiation rite for the bureau grunts section?”
“That was pretty harsh.”
“It’s the tiredness talking.”
“Yeah, I’m exhausted too. We spend all day handling old paperwork.”
“You mean you spend the day in front a computer. Some of us actually had a hard day, so that doesn’t really draw any sympathy from me.”
“I was so bored I had to play solitaire.”
“Still no sympathy.”
“Well, I’m exhausted anyway, okay?” Morgan grunted.
“Fine. What are you watching?”
“No idea, Clooney picked the channel. Why don’t we have that?”
“A castle in Scotland? Because you can’t afford one.”
“No, I mean those! Young maids in uniforms, fulfilling your every whim….”
“Same answer. Because you can’t afford one.”
“Could you dress up like a maid sometimes?”
“No. You can’t afford it.”
“Just once. You don’t even need to dress up, just act like you’re my maid.”
“Meaning, you want me to get you something from the fridge, because you’re too lazy to get up from the couch.”
“How did you know?”
“You’ve tried that before. Four times.”
“Did it work before?”
“No.”
“Are you going to get up anytime soon?”
“No.”
“Just a little bit?”
“No.”
“You’re cruel.”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“I don’t wanna get up….”
“Tough luck. I spend a day with thirty chimps, who all had an ego the size of Denmark, peanut for brains and a weird desire to play James Bond.”
“Denmark?”
“What?”
“I thought Denmark was small.”
“About one fifth of Texas. If I had said “ego the size of Texas” you wouldn’t be asking what I meant, but you can`t really say "ego the size of one fifth of Texas", can you? And even though Denmark is not that big, that Danish lecturer who came to visit Quantico last year definitely thougth it was. And country can measure it`s achievements on several levels-”
“Forget I asked.”
“No, this is interesting. Why do you insist on using old phrases time and time again?”
“Because there’s no room for interpretation with old expressions, can we move on now?”
“Why do we need to talk about something?”
“Because I need something to take the attention away from my empty stomach. I’m too tired to get up and get something to eat.”
“When was the last time you ate something?”
“An hour ago when I left the office, but that was just a hotdog.”
“I haven’t eaten since lunch.” Reid groaned along with his stomach. “Did you leave anything on the kitchen table?”
“No.”
“Too bad, we could have send Clooney to fetch it. He can’t open the fridge.”
“Are we gonna starve here?”
“Probably. We could call Garcia and ask here to drop by. She already has a maid outfit.”
“She said she was going to that fair thingy with Kevin.”
“Cybersex On the New millennium: Not Just For Geeks Anymore?”
“Yeah, that one.”
“And I don’t think she would come anyway. We had a little argument yesterday.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she tried to plant some spy cameras to the bedroom.”
“Again?” Morgan moaned and tried to reach the remote. “Do you think we could call the emergency services?”
“Because two men are too tired to get up from the couch to feed themselves? I don’t think so. We could call that pizza place…. they deliver.”
“Who`ll open the door?”
“You.”
“I’m too tired to get up.”
“I’ll call them and you`ll open the door. Or I’ll sic Clooney on you.”
“Clooney wouldn’t bite me.”
“He will if I ask nicely.”