Fic: The F-List (Criminal Minds, Reid / Morgan, Sean / Cain)
Title: The F-List
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Sean Hotchner / Cain Christensen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“I’m back.” Reid announced from the door and crouched down to remove Clooney’s leash. “Was that Sean’s car?”
“Yeah, he just left.” Morgan bent down to pick up the dog. “You wouldn’t believe what he wanted…..”
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“Right. He came to ask our advice because we’re the oldest still-standing ox-couple he knows. His expression, not mine.”
“Advice about what?”
“First he wanted to know if we owned a riding crop and some satin pants.”
“Sorry I asked….”
“No, I’m serious. He babbled something about jockeys and then he pulled out this.” Morgan showed him a thoroughly read magazine. “He’s following their program.”
“What program?”
“How to keep the earth rocking.”
“What does that mean?”
“Basically how to keep it going in the sack. They got these exercises.”
“I don’t want to know.”
“You want to know.” Morgan grinned. “First one is called the F-List.”
“F as in….?”
“Fantasy. Both parties make a list of their fantasies and then they’ll try to incorporate them to their normal sexlife.”
“We’ve already done that. You dressed up like a man in black and you came to interrogate me.”
“And you started laughing in the middle of it. But this could be fun! Have I ever told you about my librarian-fantasy?”
--------------------------------------------------------
Sean fiddled with his pencil. Finally he glanced over the writing pad at Cain who was currently busy performing push-ups to the steady rhythm of the TV-newscast.
“Hey?”
“What?”
“Can you take a break?”
“What for?”
“I wanna talk about something.”
“Wait a sec….. hundred and ninety-nine, two hundred.” Cain sat cross-legged on the carpet and gave him a questioning look. “Okay, what do you wanna talk about?”
“Have you ever dressed up like a jockey?”
“That’s your big question? No, I’ve never dressed up like a jockey.”
“Priest?”
“No.”
“Bugs Bunny?”
“Still no. Why are you asking?”
“I read this article about keeping a relationship going. It’s important that both partners know each others preferences.”
“Are you saying I’ve done something you didn’t like?”
“No.”
“Did I miss something you do like?”
“No.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem! I just wanna make sure won’t get problems because of repressed kinks. That’s where the list comes in.”
“The list?”
“The article said we should both make a list of our fantasies and then try to fulfil them together.”
“And your fantasy is Bugs Bunny?”
“I like his attitude! And he has a nice fur!”
“That’s creepy, not kinky.”
“What about you? Wanna see me dressed up like a seventies disco-dancer?”
“A dancing queen?”
“That was low….. What about situation? Something that really tickles your mind?”
“Like what?”
“Like…. An innocent schoolboy and a naughty teacher.”
“Disturbing.”
“A farmer and a roaming cowboy?”
“Total cliché.”
“A boy-bander and a sleazy manager?”
“There’s nothing sexy about boy bands.”
“A retro-porn star with those big handlebar-moustaches?”
“I don’t even wanna think about that one…..” Cain increased the volume on the TV. The newscaster continued his monologue. “And I’m not growing a moustache.”
“So you don’t have anything you wanna try? No dirty little fantasies you wanna act out?”
“Not really.” Cain shrugged. “I’m happy with the way things are.”
“If I wasn’t so eager about this, I would be seriously touched by that sentiment.”
“Listen…. If you got something you wanna try, make your list. I’ll take a look at it and decide what we can do, but I’ll warn you: I’m not dressing up in a bunny costume, I will not wear an afro wig and gold chains, and I won’t even touch you if you dress up like a streetwalker. Again.”
“That was for Halloween! I was Frank N. Furter!”
“Doesn’t matter, seeing you in women’s clothes is a total turn-off.”
--------------------------------------------------------
“Morgan?”
“Pretty Boy….?”
“Can you explain this to me?”
“What?”
“How we ended up copulating on the couch.”
“You mentioned alphabetical classification systems.”
“So…. librarians really get you going?”
“I think it’s that whole shhh-ing thing.”
“What thing?”
“No loud talking in the library or the librarian will come and spank you.”
“Has that ever happened to you?”
“I’m still hopeful.“ Morgan sighed and slid his fingers over’s the genius’s sweaty chest. “Can we go to the study?”
“Now?”
“I’ll go to the bookshelf, start talking loudly and you’ll come and shush me.”
“Morgan…..” Reid giggled uncontrollably. “Don’t take this the wrong way….”
“What?”
“Some of your turn-ons are so bizarre that even I can’t analyse them with a straight face.”