Fic: Modelled (Criminal Minds, Reid / Morgan, Prentiss)
Title: Modelled
Pair: Derek Morgan / Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Criminal Minds Main List
“This place brings back bad memories…” Prentiss groaned when she followed Morgan and Reid into the showroom. She eyed like catwalk like it could suddenly jump up and attack her.
“Can’t imagine you as one of those girls.” Morgan grinned.
“I wasn’t, but I went to school with girls like that.”
“Girls like what?” Reid asked and looked thoroughly confused.
“Young girls who want to become models.” Morgan explained. “They diet and exercise and paint their faces like streetwalkers-”
“And throw up everything they eat.” Prentiss added. “And then one day reality hits them and they have to face the facts. There’s millions of pretty faces in the world and just because your mom says you’re stunning, other people will not sugar-coat things for you.”
“What things?” Reid wondered. “That didn’t really explain anything.”
“Places like this.”
“Modelling agencies?”
“Auditions. Dozens and dozens of young hopefuls, and in the end someone will have to burst their bubbles. It’s for their own good, but some girls just can’t get over it.”
“Get over what?”
“That they’re just pretty. In real life pretty is just fine, but on the runway it’s not enough. I know all little girls should be told that they’re pretty, but too much can harm the kid for the rest of their lives.”
“Did your mom call you pretty?”
“She was always realistic. She used to say: You’re a cute girl, but you’ll go a lot further with your brain than with your face.”
“She was right.”
“Of course she also said I shouldn’t have a fringe, because it makes me look too Slavic.”
“Is that why you have bangs now?”
“It’s latent rebellion.”
“And we’re here to chat up the staff, not enjoying the sights.” Morgan stated, but couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Not too much anyway.”
“What is it with men and models?”
“They’re beautiful and unattainable. I mean unattainable for most men.”
“I’ve never met a woman, who would be fascinated by male models the same way most men are fascinated by models.”
“It’s our inner predator. Besides, I could be bedding a model as we speak if Pretty Boy could take few steps on a catwalk without falling on his face.”
“Not again…” Reid blushed and tried to look busy searching for something from his messenger bag. The whole gesture seemed to a cover-up to keep his blushing face downwards and out of sight. “Shouldn’t we be looking for witnesses?”
“No, I wanna hear this.” Prentiss chuckled and aimed her question to Morgan. “What’s the story?”
“Remember when Reid and I went to California on our vacation?”
“Yeah.”
“This old crow and to talk to him in the middle of the street and wanted to recruit him for her modelling agency. According to her, he’s got the face, the weight and the height.”
“I can understand the weight part… What did she say when you told her she was making suggestions to a federal agent?”
“There wasn’t that much conversation, I basically just put an end to it.”
“It could have been fun, BAU`s very own catwalk poser. We could put that in the next recruitment campaign for the academy.”
“Are you two done?” Reid complained. “We’re here to work.”
“And so am I.” A woman in her fifties approached them. Her eyes were fixed on Reid’s hair. She brushed a lock of hair away from his face and grinned like she had just won the lottery. “I could work you so hard you wouldn’t even have time to vomit your daily baby food.”
“We already covered that topic.” Prentiss stated and her tone didn’t leave room argument. “He’s got multiple doctorates and he’s a federal agent. He’s not looking for a job.”
“Sorry, I’ve spent too much time listening himbos, who are afraid a breath mint will make them fat.”
“I thought it was girl’s worry.”
“Not anymore, this is the age of equality. Same requirements for both boys and girls.”
“Starve or get the boot?”
“Some people need to work on staying in shape. When you find someone who fills the measurement without dieting for weeks before a show is like having cash in the bank. People want to hire models they can count on, not some brat who has been on a on a crash diet and then passes out backstage.”
“It’s nice to know you care about your models.”
“They got their moms for that. Liz Salden, I handle the runway and catalogue bookings.”
“And this place is…?”
“Our practising space and showroom. We train our newbies to walk and pose, we have our runway auditions here and we show our customers our models here so they can see what they look like on the catwalk.”
“They’re everywhere.” Morgan gasped and stared at the runway. A group of men were walking to the stage. Each and every one of them looked like a replica of Reid. Tall, thin and wearing their hair long. Morgan’s expression was turning from disbelief to utter horror. “Like that movie… Village of the Damned. Reids, Reids and more Reids. They’ll start multiplying and they’ll take over the whole world.”
“Can you wait five minutes?” Salden asked. She didn’t bother to wait for an answer, instead she marched back and forth in front of the catwalk, taking a quick look at the hopefuls. “I’ll be quick and then I’m all yours.”
“And I thought that trip to all girls boarding school was harsh…” Prentiss whispered to Morgan. “Compared to that woman sister Mary Magdalene was practically a saint.”
“Mary Magdalene?” Reid leaned closer. “Why would a nun pick a name like that?”
“She wanted to pay homage to her old line of work. She used to hit little girls on the fingers just to built their character and I would still choose her over that thing.”
“Did you read about that test doctors Alexander and doctor Johnson conducted in Florida few years ago?” Reid eyed the row of clones on the stage. “They did it on rats and even on small mammals.”
“I think I speak for everyone here when I say: No, I haven’t read about it.”
“They kept the test animals under strict nutrition, only giving them enough to keep them alive. Then they placed a cage next to them and kept another group of test animals in that. Those animals were fed as often as they wanted and they got large quantities of the same food the animals in the first cage got.”
“Are you just trying to annoy me?” Prentiss frowned. “Because I’m already aggravated-”
“No, I’m just coming to the interesting part. When the first group saw the second one being fed, they reacted with extremes expressions of frustration. They tried to crawl out of their cage, gnawed at each others limbs-”
“Are you saying all mammals are the same?”
“They never tested it on humans, but it is probably safe to assume the same situation would cause a similar uproar.” Reid opened his messenger bag and pulled out a packet of doughnuts. “I wouldn’t normally perform unsupervised human tests, but I think it could improve your state of mind.”
“I love the way your mind works.” Her face lit up. “I don’t normally understand how it works, but I love it. Morgan?”
“Yep.” Morgan patted his gun holster. “I got your back.”
“Think we could do an article about this for some scientific journal?” Prentiss picked a chocolate doughnut. “We could write that together.”
“I don’t think so, but some ladies magazine may actually publish it.” Reid took a moment to choose his doughnut. “Keep your eyes open for their reactions, it’s not often that we get to perform an experiment on real people.”