Fic: Last Ones (Criminal Minds, Reid / Morgan, Prentiss)
Title: Last Ones
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc
Criminal Minds Main List
Creak.
Prentiss didn’t need to look up to know what the sound meant.
Creak. Creak.
She lifted her gaze from the computer monitor in time to see Morgan and his chair rolling back from Reid’s desk. Morgan focused on his own paperwork, but few minutes later the annoying creaking started again. The creak echoed in the empty bullpen. They were the last ones and the room was now illuminated by three desk lamps, giving the space a slightly ominous feel.
“Morgan, save the dirty talk for your free time. I’m getting a migraine here.”
“Dirty talk?” Morgan chuckled. “This is all business. I’m doing my self-evaluation.”
“Then you shouldn’t need anyones help for that. The whole point is assessing your own skills and your performance.”
“Yeah, Pretty Boy here demands I do that every time I wanna try something new in bed.”
“Morgan…” Reid growled as menacingly as he could, ending up sounding like a disgruntled kitten.
“I was just joking!”
“It wasn’t a very funny joke.”
“I have to agree, I have no desire to hear about that stuff, joke or no joke.” Prentiss agreed. “And you should hurry up, self-evaluations should be ready before six, or you’ll spend the weekend here slaving on it.”
“I’m almost done, I just need to check some stuff. This is a lot quicker than looking it up from the databases.”
“What stuff?”
“I’ll show you.” Morgan rolled his chair back to Reid’s desk again. “Baby, what was the name of that little town in Texas, where we had that pseudo-cannibal case?”
“Marfa.” Reid replied. He seemed equally bored with his own paperwork and Morgan’s questioning. “Population twelve hundred.”
“And they had that diner where James Dean ate when he was doing a movie there.”
“Rock Hudson, not James Dean.”
“See what I mean?” Morgan grinned at Prentiss. “Quick and easy. How would I describe my work performance on that case?”
“You tackled three men and none of them was the unsub.” Reid reminded. “I think "varied" covers it.”
“Anything else?”
“Well, one of the men just had a hip replacement surgery the year before-”
“I agreed, "varied" covers it.” Morgan rolled back to his desk and typed few word. Then he rolled back to Reid. “How would I describe my performance in that Miami case?”
“You tackled the local detective and wrecked his service car. He was our unsub, but the BAU still had to explain why we shouldn’t have to pay for a new vehicle.”
“So… excellent, but could use some improvement in the tact department?”
“If you want to say it like that.” Reid sighed. “Are you anywhere near ready? We got reservation for six thirty.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Morgan hung his head down and rolled back to his own desk. “Twenty minutes.”
“Should I or shouldn’t I…” Prentiss mused and prodded her head on his hands. She was finished with her own paperwork, but her weary body seemed reluctant to get up and walk out. “What the hell, it’s almost weekend… How come you’re always the last one to finish those?”
“I’m not!” He protested. “My case reports are always on time. This crap has nothing to do with our work. What’s the point in explaining how we did our job if it got done anyway?”
“It’s mandatory so they can estimate our level and skills of self-evaluation and our capability to critically assess our own strengths and weaknesses.” Reid stated. He snapped his monitor off and started to collect his belongings into his messenger bag. “I finished mine last week.”
“Me too.” Prentiss added and pulled out her cellphone. “Too bad you got plans, Garcia and Kevin invited everyone for drinks at Morris’s. She knows the owner, so we’re getting free nachos.”
“And if you don’t hurry up, I’ll be eating alone.”
“You wouldn’t leave me here alone.” Morgan groaned and continued tapping the keys.
“You’re the one who always keeps preaching me about regular meals.” Reid commented. He pulled a bag of gummy bears from his bag. “You could add your tendency for double standards to your evaluation.”
“And maybe something about that woman, who slapped you.” Prentiss suggested with a wide smirk on her face. “Remind me… What exactly did you tell her?”
“She asked if I wanted milk with my coffee. I said no and them Bam. It was a misunderstanding.” Morgan let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ve never really learned to say: Thank you ma`am, I’d love a cup of coffee, but could you put your top on first?”
“It was a nudist colony.” Reid stated, mumbling a mouthful of gummy bears. “we were lucky they let us in with our clothes on.”
“I still can’t understand how you could be so relaxed about it.”
“Naturalism is a highly normal reaction to the social and external pressures placed on individuals by the surrounding forces. I wouldn’t take my own clothes off unless I’m on fire-” A short flash of an unpleasant memory flashed before his eyes. “-or getting ready for decontamination shower, but I wouldn’t judge a person for reacting to those unnatural pressures and surrendering to most basic and natural state of the human body.”
“And I don’t mind letting it all hang out when we`re home, but I wouldn’t push my stuff on some strangers face.”
“I hope you mean figuratively.”
“I do, but that one woman was scary… If you can use you tits as a kilt, no need to show it to everyone.”
“I should probably intervene and defend my sex, but that too much for me too.” Prentiss finished tapping her text message and shoved her phone back to her pocket. “Not that I wouldn’t love to watch you sweat away rest of the day on your evaluation, but that was the third text from Garcia. I f I don’t hurry up, they’ll move on to margaritas before I even get there. Have a nice weekend.”
“We will.” Morgan nodded.
Reid gave her a little wave as she marched out of the bullpen. The genius got up from behind his desk and observed her track all the way to the elevators. “Okay, she’s gone.”
“Finally, I though she was gonna hang around forever.” Morgan leaped up from his chair. “Conference room?”
“And this time I come prepared.” Reid grinned and pulled a blanket from his travel bag. “That desk is awful for my back.”
“I can be on my back if you make it worth it.” Morgan leered. He grabbed the genius’s hand and pulled him up the stairs.
“I’ll do my best.” Reid promised with a small grin on his lips. “Just don’t fall off this time. I don’t want to come up with new explanations for your bruised gluteus maximus.”
“No one saw it.”
“But you couldn’t sit right for days. I got some really weird looks.”