Fic: Delayed / Guitar Man (Criminal Minds, Reid / Morgan, Sean / Cain, Hotch)
Title: Delayed
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Criminal Minds Main List
“Sorry, I know you wanted to go home already, but this won’t take long.” J.J. comforted as soon as Morgan walked into the conference room with his bag hanging on his shoulder. He took a quick look at the large cardboard box on the table and frowned.
“There better be that new keyboard in there. Or some really kinky porn.”
“Both wrong. I’ll explain this to everyone when they get here.”
“Why couldn’t it wait till Monday?”
“I’ll be gone the whole morning.”
“In the afternoon then?”
“Just wait, you’ll love this. Are the others on their way?”
“Hotch had to leave to pick up Jack, and Rossi…”
“What about Rossi?”
“You really don’t wanna know what he told you to do with your surprise.”
“He wouldn’t say that.”
“The guy had to endure both a dentist appointment and a prostate exam few hours from each other. He’s woozy from the anaesthesia and then he found out he`s allergic to the doc`s latex gloves.”
“How did that allergy thing come out?”
“The hard way.”
“Okay, honey bunnies, your Goddess is here.” Garcia announced wearily and marched in. Her gaze immediately found the large box. “There better be a new broadband router or some really pervy porn in there.”
“No, and what’s wrong with you?” J.J. glared at both of them. “Can’t you show even a little bit of enthusiasm?”
“No, we can’t. It’s Friday, we’re not on call for the weekend and we’re still here waiting for your surprise.”
“Hey.” Reid nodded and walked in. “There better be some-”
“No!” J.J. exclaimed and gave him a murderous glare. “No, I don’t have any porn in there!”
“Why would you bring porn to the office?” Reid asked. His eyes were wide, but a slight blush began to creep up to his cheeks. “And why would I ask for it?”
“I was just… forget it. What were you going to say?”
“I was going to say that there better be more sugar somewhere, if we have to get some work done. I haven’t had any coffee for five hours.”
“There was coffee in the break room.”
“But we’re out of sugar, I’ve even used all those little bags I always hoard to my bag. Look!” He held his hand flat in front of her. “I’m already shaking.”
“That’s because you haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast.” Morgan stated and fished out a candy bar from his go-bag. “You’ve been living on caffeinated sugar.”
“I didn’t have time-”
Reid’s objection was cut short when Morgan shoved half the candy bar into his open mouth. The genius complained mildly through the mouthful, but didn’t put up a fight.
“I got your coffee too when we went to that coffee shop in the morning.” Reid reminded once he had swallowed his speedy snack. “And I had to tolerate that guys advances once again, because you can never be bothered to stand in line.”
“For a good reason.” Morgan grinned at J.J.`s slightly annoyed glare. “It’s easier for you to get through a crowd. You’re so skinny you just slip through the cracks.”
“Boys?” Garcia interrupted. “I got a hot date waiting, can we just do this and get out?”
“Hot date? I thought you were going with Kevin-”
“Listen, Hot Stuff. Kevin may not have your abs, but he has some skills, that would make porn stars beg him for lessons.”
“I got skills too.”
“If you don’t mind!” J.J. protested. “If no one else is coming, we might as well go on. As we all remember, the BAU applied for additional cut in the new budget for new computer equipment.”
“Did it go through?” Garcia perked up like an eager poodle. “My old Mamie is on her last leg.”
“Who’s Mamie?”
“One of my screens. I`ve introduced you to her, remember?”
“Of course… Well, it has to wait until next year. But we did get something.”
“New mouse pads?” Garcia murmured. “This is no way to treat a tech goddess…”
“No, but we did get a small amount for recreational activity.” J.J. forced a smile on her face. “Unfortunately it was pretty small, so the possibilities were a bit limited.”
“So what do we get?” Morgan asked dryly. “New FBI gym bags?”
“No. They were too expensive.” She pulled the box open and started pulling out the packing material. A moment later, the table was full of padding, but she still hadn’t pulled out the items. “Remember, I did my best with limited resources. You’ll all get…” She lifted something small from the box. “A keychain with the BAU logo.”
“We got a logo?” Morgan took a step closer and observed the small oval tangling in the end of the chain. “That’s the FBI logo, with BAU written under it with a black marker.”
“They were cheaper that way.”
“We stayed after hours for that?” Morgan complained and shot her an annoyed glare. “I could be having a burger right now.”
“And I kept Kevin waiting for this.” Garcia added. “You could have just said we didn’t get anything, and we would have been out, having a good weekend.”
“I found it!” Reid exclaimed, making the others startle. He waved a little bag in the air. “I knew I had one more bag of sugar somewhere, it was lodged between the lining in my bag! I need coffee.” He marched out and headed straight to the break room.
“Isn’t that coffee already cold?” Garcia mused and turned to Morgan. “Shouldn’t you handle it?”
“I will. He’ll get a cup of cold coffee with a too much sugar to settle his nerves and then I’ll take him home and brew a big pot just for him.”
“That’s a good little ChocoHunkie.” She gave him a little pat on the butt. “I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you all the details about my date.”
“Don’t call too early, you know what Pretty Boy’s like when he’s high on sugar and caffeine.”
“I would love to know more…” She grinned. “I’ll tell you about mine and you’ll tell me about yours.”
“What about me?” J.J. asked, sounding distinctly irritated.
“What about you?” Morgan threw her a little wink as he followed Garcia out of the conference room. “You never liked to tell dirty details about Will.”
“But you didn’t even ask.”
“Do what we all do. Go home and have a good weekend, we’ll see you Monday. And let me know before you show those key chains to Rossi. I wanna see his face when he sees those.”
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Title: Guitar Man
Pair: Sean Hotchner / Cain Christensen,
Aaron Hotchner / Chad Christensen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
“Morning, bro.”
Hotch rubbed his eyes and tried to get himself fully awake. He headed instinctive to the coffeepot, but it turned out to be empty.
“I took the last of it. Sorry.” Sean informed, not sounding particularly sorry. He put down the half empty cup of strawberry yoghurt and got up. “I’ll make a fresh pot.”
“I can do it myself-”
“Bro, I’m the one who has his eyes totally open.”
“Fine.” Hotch grabbed a hold of the counter and sat down on one of the chairs. “What time is it?”
“After eleven.” Sean smirked. “Since when do you sleep late? Aren’t you normally up before the… whatever they are. Those things that wake up everyone at some farm in all the cowboy movies.”
“Roosters.”
“Yeah, the ones with the red waddles. Like my old neighbour… Anyway, your better half left when I came-”
“Where was he going?”
“To his office, he had to get some stuff, but he said it wouldn’t take long. And you still haven’t answered me.”
“I just answered you: They`re called roosters.”
“Not that. Why do you look like you just woke up?”
“We had a case in Arkansas, I got back home sometime after two in the morning.”
“No wonder…”
“What?”
“Your eye bags make you look like you’re a bagging boy at the grocery store.”
“Thanks for that lovely sentiment.” Hotch buried his head in his hands. “How’s the coffee?”
“I just put it on, it takes a while. But there’s one more of those hideous yoghurts you like in the fridge.”
“You already raided my fridge?”
“Yeah, Chad gave me an ultimatum. If I touch your last yoghurt, he would hunt me down. Like I would actually touch that crap…”
“I like plain yoghurt.”
“That’s exactly what that stuff is. Plain, and boring and colourless… actually I can see why it’s your favourite. It’s just so totally you.”
“I’ll wait for the coffee first.” Hotch shot him a sharp glare. “I know you’ve been an earlier riser since Cain started to enforce steady bedtime for you, but why are you here?”
“I seek a sanctuary.”
“From what?”
“You don’t wanna know.”
“When you you ruin my peaceful morning like this, I want to know.”
“You know how I say stuff without thinking and then they catch on with me?”
“Unfortunately, I do know. What did you do now?”
“Remember that high school musical thingy I talked about?”
“No, and I think I`m too old and Jack is too young for those movies.”
“I meant Cain’s old school musicals. I’ve been pestering him to sign up for that open-mic night at Harry’s.” Sean flipped the coffee maker off and refilled his own mug. “Yesterday he finally said yes. And then I said yes, but it doesn’t really matter that much, I always say yes, so… so… I lost track again. What was I talking about?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Right, the damn guitar.”
“Guitar?”
“Yeah, yesterday he dug up his old acoustic guitar. He started practising and… it was Hell.”
“You always said he has a good voice.”
“He does! And acoustic guitar… You have any idea what that does to me? I spent two hours carrying on a like a pole-vaulter between leaps. In the beginning it was funny, but then I really screwed up.”
“You went streaking again?”
“That was an accident! I went to pick up the paper and I got locked outside. That wasn’t the mistake, the real mistake was looking at his hands.”
“I assume you don’t mean the paperboy’s.”
“No. I was already hard as a rock and then I saw those hands moving and sliding and…” A deep groan escaped Sean’s throat. “Probably the most embarrassing thing of my life.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Okay, the most embarrassing thing this month. Freaking sadist said he couldn’t take a break with me, because he doesn’t wanna go on stage without practising.”
“How did you react?”
“Like any normal person. I begged, pleaded, threatened and bribed. Didn’t work. Two hours before he finished and I was about to explode.”
“Nice story.” Hotch deadpanned and took a long sip from his coffee. “Anything else or can you go home now?”
“Not yet. He’s practising again.”
“Can’t you use earplugs and stay away from him when he’s playing?”
“No, I tried that. I still know what he’s doing and that seems to be enough.” He dumped his empty yoghurt cup to the trash. “Does it get easier to turn yourself off when you get old?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“I just wanna know! Does get harder to get going when you get older and stuff starts sagging and bagging?”
“Why are you looking at my neck?”
“No reason… Funny how your suits and stiff collars kinda keeps everything in place…”
“Sean.”
“Sorry, sensitive subject.”
“There’s nothing sensitive about my age or my neck. All things considered, I’m quite comfortable with my age. I may not particularly like waking up with a back pain after a night in the plane, or having few more gray hairs, but wouldn’t go back twenty years if I could.”
“So what about this?”
“What?”
“Libido. Does it calm down?”
“I don’t want to discuss about this. Besides, I can only talk about my own experiences and that is not something my little brother needs to hear.”
“Is that a no?”
Hotch took another sip from his coffee, but his lips curled into a little smirk.
“Yes.” Hotch stated and his smirk turned wider. He kept his eyes fixed firmly to his coffee. “According to my experience, it doesn’t calm down when you reach my age.”
“I would ask for the details, but you wouldn’t tell me.” Sean answered with a smirk of his own. “But what do I with the guitar?”
“Ask him to do a little serenade for you.”
“I already did that, but what about the open-mic night? If I can’t control my little dude, it can get really embarrassing.”
“The best solution I can think of is the simples one: Ask for a table in a very dark corner and wear loose pants.”