Fic: The Chocolate Solution (Numb3rs, Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger)
Title: The Chocolate Solution
Fandom: Numb3rs
Pairing: Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Dedicated to constance13 and lillyg who celebrate their birthdays in consecutive
days, the 2. and 3. Of March.
Happy birthday in advance, Sweeties!
Previous Chapters here:
Numb3rs Main List
“Morning.” Don walked in. “Anybody here?”
“I’m here.” Colby came out of the kitchen carrying a mug full of cold coffee. “And
I really shouldn’t be even talking to you.”
“What did I do?”
“Because of you I spent the night on the couch, and the only thing to greet me in
the morning was a half a pot of cold coffee.”
Don chuckled. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. This is you fault!”
“I haven’t even seen Charlie for two days!”
“Well, he doesn’t wanna see you now. Remember last night?”
“Of course I remember. Why?”
“You remember the last minute tip that you said just couldn’t wait?”
“Yeah.”
“The one that turned out to be a wild goose chase.”
“Yeah.”
“Followed by three hours of paperwork.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“What day was yesterday?”
“The fifteenth.”
“And what else?”
“No idea.”
“Löwenstern Award.”
”Oh crap…”
”The one they gave to Charlie.”
”Crap, crap, crap…”
”Who happened to be the youngest recipient to get their lifetime achievement award.”
“That was yesterday…. Oh crap…”
“Would you stop saying that, it’s getting on my nerves. Last night when I was leaving
the office, I put my cell back on and there was sixteen unanswered calls. Ten from
Charlie, six from the rental shop.”
“Rental shop?”
“They tried to remind me to pick up our tuxes before they close. And by the way,
they are charging us full price for them.”
“Great… Was he mad?”
“What do you think? When I got home he had left me some blankets on the couch.”
“Ouch. Was he in the garage?”
“No.”
“Did he threw chalk at you?”
“No.”
“Did he yell at you?”
“No.”
“Then it’s really bad.”
“I know. This is the first morning I had to wake up alone since I moved in.”
“How was he today?”
“No idea, I haven’t seen him. He was gone before I woke up.”
“You got any more of that?”
“More of what?”
“Coffee. I left in a hurry.”
“There’s some in the pot, but it’s cold.”
“That kinda fits this morning.” Don went to the kitchen and took a mug from
the cupboard. “Where’s the sugar?”
“You used to live here and you have to ask that?”
“Nothing is were it used to be. Charlie switched everything around.”
“Yeah, he did chart on most economical routes in the kitchen, and which things
were used more often than others, and-”
“I get the picture, where’s the sugar?”
“On your right, I think.”
Don pulled the cupboard open and stared at it’s content.
“Granger…”
“Yeah?”
“What exactly do you cook here?”
“This and that. Why?”
Don gestured to the shelf.
“That’s body paint.” Colby blushed. “It’s for… you know.”
“I know, but I’ve never seen so much of them at one place. Why do you keep them
in the kitchen.”
“It’s edible. And Charlie said they need a steady temperature. You know what
it’s like upstairs?”
“I remember.” Don shuddered. “When it’s hot the air-condition doesn’t work,
and when it’s cold the heating decides to have a surprise breakdown.” He took
a sip from his cold coffee. “I guess I should try calling him.”
“I already tried, I think he’s screening his calls. He doesn’t have any classes
today, but he went to his office anyway. That’s a pretty bad sign.”
“Yeah. It was so much easier in the good old days.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I was away from L.A. When we were kids, our mom always made me apologise,
but I really haven’t done that since. I don’t do that, it’s a question of principle.”
“Then you better prepare for Ice age, and I don’t mean the movie.”
“I know… But it’s not my thing.”
“What do you usually do when you screw up?”
“Well, usually when I’ve screwed up there’s been a woman in the picture. I’ve
normally just bought her something nice, like flowers, or chocolate, or raunchy
underwear.”
“I don’t think flowers would really help in this case.”
“Well, I `m not buying him underwear!” Don looked horrified.
“That`s good, he’s really picky about his underwear. He even chooses my
underwear for me.”
“Are you kidding?” Don was about to choke on his coffee.
“No, I model them for him, and then…” Colby looked at the panicked expression
on Don’s face. “Forget I said that.”
“Gladly.”
“Wait a minute… I got an idea!” Colby dashed to the closet and came back with
a big cardboard box. He pulled the cupboard open.
“What idea?”
“You talked about chocolate, and I think I know how to get back in his good
graces.” Colby started packing the box with bottles of body paint.
“Are all those….”
“Chocolate flavoured? Yep.”
“So what’s your plan?”
“I’ll put on a tiny thong, cover myself with chocolate paint, and put on a trench
coat. Then I’ll go to his office, lock the door and throw myself at his mercy.”
Colby was beaming like a little kid.
“I don’t want to know….” Don sighed. “But what do I do?”
“Well….” Colby thought about it. “I’m safe, you’re still screwed. When you go to
work, would you tell them I’m using one of my sick days? Bye!”