Fic: Scare Tactics (Numb3rs, Charlie Eppes, Don Eppes, Megan Reeves / Michael)
Title: Scare Tactics
Fandom: Numb3rs
Pair: Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger,
Megan Reeves / Michael
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
NUMB3RS Main List
Written for Chymoms challenge, using lines from "First Law"
(Charlie: You don’t like her.
Don: I think you can do better.
Charlie: For Instance?)
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“Charlie, you got a minute?” Megan marched to Charlie’s office and slammed
the door shut. “I really need to talk to you.”
“Sure, I don’t have any more classes today. Have a seat.”
“No thanks, I’m too angry to take a seat. When I’m pacing back and forth, my
rage flows better.”
“Did I do something?”
“No, no. This isn’t about you. I just need your help.”
“New case?”
“Michael.”
“What about him?”
“I need help with Michael.”
“Okay…. I thought you liked him.”
“I do! He’s nice and smart and good looking and well mannered.”
“Sounds good.”
“And he drives me crazy.”
“Drives you crazy in a good way?”
“No. He too perfect. He’s always around, he hangs on to every word I say, my
place looks like a flower shop, I can’t get one minute alone without him.”
“I thought he was exactly what you wanted.”
“He is, but too much is too much!”
“So what kinda help do you want from me?”
“He likes you. Maybe you could talk to him and try to get rid of him.”
“Why can’t you do it yourself?”
“He’s a nice guy, I don’t want to hurt him.”
“So I should hurt him?”
“I don’t have the heart to tell him that his real place would be in the twelve
step program for co-dependents.”
“I didn’t know they had those for co-dependents.”
“They do. But that’s his problem. And right now he’s my problem. Will
you help me?”
“I can try, but I gotta warn you…. People like that can be pretty persistent.
Remember that creepy chippy who kept following me around and then
hooked up with Don to get closer to me?”
“How could I forget? What happened to her?”
“Last I heard, she was locked up in a sanitarium. Erotomanic disorder.”
“Poor girl.”
“Are you kidding? She`s very happy there. All the doctors think her case is
very interesting and she loves the attention.”
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The next day Charlie walked to Michael’s office with Don in tow. Secretary
guided them to a plump couch and asked them to wait.
“Are you sure this is gonna work?” Don asked, looking pretty frustrated.
“Can’t we just beat him up a bit?”
“That better be a joke. And he hasn’t done anything, Megan just wants to
get rid of him without hurting his feelings. Follow the plan and improvise
if necessary.”
“Why did I even agree to come here….”
“Because Megan promised to forgive the whole bugged-first-date thing if
you get rid of Michael.”
“Right…”
“Charlie?” Michael walked to them and shook Charlie’s hand enthusiastically.
“I haven’t seen you for ages!”
“Nice to see you. This is my brother Don.”
“It’s great to match a face with a name.”
“You got a minute? There’s something I need to talk with you.” Charlie explained.
“I always got time for you. What do you want to talk about?”
“Megan.”
“Oh….” Michael smiled. “I see. This is the `Hurt-her-and-you’ll pay-for-it` talk.”
“No, actually…. I wanted to warn you. As a friend.”
“Warn me about what?”
“Megan. I think you should know some things about her.”
“Like what?”
“There’s no easy way to say it, so I’ll just say it as it is. She’s little bit difficult.
I know you two are still on that early phase when you’re getting to know each
other and everything is wonderful, but a nice guy like you can get into a lot of
trouble with her.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“She has some pretty weird…. leanings.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Has she pulled out the whips yet?”
“No.”
“Latex gears?”
“No.”
“Cat in the Hat costume?”
“No.”
“Pudding?”
“No.”
“Diapers?”
“No…”
“Well, my point is, that you seem to have a wrong impression of her, and
you`ve become attached to that mental image. Just that, not the real person.”
“What do you mean…?”
”You don’t like her.” Don jumped in.
”I think you can do better.” Charlie added.
”For instance?” Michael asked carefully.
”Maybe…. That secretary you have?”
”She’s married and over fifty!”
”Anyway…. My point is that you should really consider what you`re doing with
Megan.” Charlie patted him on the shoulder. ”I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
”Thanks… I guess.”
”I should really get back to the office now.” Don intercepted.
”And I have class. But think about it, Mike.”
”I…. I’ll think about it.”
”Good. It was great to see you again.” Charlie gave him a smile and left. When
they reached Don’s car in the parking lot, Don was still giggling.
”Did you see that guys face? I think you really scared him.”
”Hopefully. Megan is about ready to kill him.”
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When Don arrived back to the office after dropping Charlie off at CalSci, Megan
was waiting for him. She was tapping her desk with her fingernails and looked
bloodthirsty.
“What the hell did you and Charlie tell him?”
“We just scared him a little bit.”
“Scared him? I would really like to know how you scared him, because I just got
a text message from him. Why did he write that he’s been a bad boy and needs
some good whipping?”