Fic: The Thing About Plans (Numb3rs, Charlie Eppes / Colby Grager)
Title: The Thing About Plans
Fandom: Numb3rs
Pair: Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
NUMB3RS Main List
Written for Chymoms line challenge, using lines from Cover Me:
David: That’s not part of the plan
Colby: That’s the thing about plans,
man. There great until you put them in to action.
Other Line Challenge Fics can be found under this tag.
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“Why can’t you just do it the normal way?” David asked.
“Because it has to be special. I’m already so normal and predictable, that
even I would say no to me.” Colby scoffed.
“What if he gets mad?”
“That’s not part of the plan.”
“Doesn’t mean it can’t happen.” David let out a frustrated sigh. “That’s the
thing about plans, man.”
”What thing?”
”They’re great until you put them in to action. And your plan has all the
ingredients for a fiasco.”
“What plan and why didn’t you tell me first?” Megan asked and parked her
rear end on Colby’s desk.
“He’s planning a kidnapping.” David explained.
“You’re planning what?”
“Just a small one.” Colby shrugged. “I called one of Charlie’s buddies and
asked if we could borrow his cabin in Big Bear for the weekend.”
“And how does this lead to a kidnapping?”
“I’m gonna abduct Charlie.”
Megan gave him a long look. “Why?”
“To make it exciting!”
“Tell her about that other stuff you’re planning.” David added.
“I’m not telling her about that.” Colby grinned. “It’ll be a surprise when
we get back.”
“I’m telling you one more time: Your plan is awful….”
“I’m not taking relationship advices from a guy, who locked himself into
the bathroom and called me in panic, when his boyfriend started talking
about handcuffs.”
“You just had to say it in front of her, didn’t you….”
“You started it.”
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When Colby drove in front of the cabin and opened the trunk, the first thing
he noticed was a sharp pain in his groin area. Charlie had hit him with a tire
iron.
“Charlie, that hurt….!”
“Good, because I just spend a three hour drive in the trunk. Do you have any
idea what it was like to wake up in the bouncing trunk?”
“No….”
“Horrible. And did you drug me?”
“Just your coffee….”
“Why the hell did you do that?!”
“I wanted to take you for a weekend trip.”
“And to do that, you had to drug me and shove me to the trunk.”
“I wanted to try something exciting…..”
“That wasn’t exciting, that was awful!”
“I’m sorry! Can we…. Can we just try to make the most of it, now that
we’re here?”
“Fine, but you better make it up to me. Several times.” Charlie stormed
to the cabin to look for the spare key.
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Charlie seemed to calm down after he had eaten half a grilled chicken, and he
was currently laying on the sofa like a sour cat, with a wine glass in his hand.
“So?” Colby asked carefully.
“So what?”
“What do you say?”
“About what?”
“That.” Colby gestured to the direction of Charlie’s glass.
“Well, little flat but better than the one you bought last time.”
“Not the wine. That… other thing.”
“What other thing?”
“In the glass!”
Charlie looked at his glass.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Colby jumped up from his chair and grabbed the glass. “Don’t tell me you
swallowed it…”
“I swallowed what?”
“The ring! It was in the glass!”
“Ring? We already have enough rings, there’s a whole pile of them in the
bedside drawer.”
“Not that kinda ring! I mean the kind you put on your finger!”
“Oh…” Charlie looked surprised. “Why did you put it in the glass?”
“I thought it would be romantic! They did it in that movie.”
“Colby, you remember what happened in the movie after that?”
“What do you mean? There was a happy ending.”
“Before that.”
“No….”
“Well, I remember. The woman almost choked on it, and the waiter had to do
the Heimlich manoeuvre in the middle of the restaurant. That was while you
were in the bathroom.”
Colby started banging his against the nearest wall.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“You didn’t ask.”
“David was right, this whole plan was a disaster….”
“Not completely.” Charlie pulled something small and shiny out of his pocket.
“I just wanted a payback for that ride here.”
“You mean you had it the whole time…?”
“Yeah.” Charlie slipped in his finger. “And I like it.”
“Really?”
“Yep.” Charlie smiled. “Come here and I’ll show you how much I like it.”