Fic: Seatbelt 1/2 (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Seatbelt 1/2
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Disclaimer: not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“Come on…..”
“No.”
“Pretty Boy….”
“Don’t try that, it’s not working.”
“It’s fun.”
“You think it’s fun everywhere, so what the point there?”
“I just wanna refresh my old memories….”
“Morgan, for the last time: I am not having sex with you in the back of your car.”
“Why not?” Morgan grunted like a pouty kid.
“It is morally questionable, legally borderline, hygienically risky, and personally
just tacky.”
“I hovered the whole car last week.”
“You should have taken the left turn there.”
“And you’re telling me now?”
“I didn’t want to interrupt. And why are you such an expert in Coital Motoricus?”
“Are you kidding? My old car used to see more than it’s fair share of-” Morgan
looked at Reid and snapped his mouth shut. “I’ll shut up now.”
“Thank you. We have nice bed indoors, what’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing! But it could be fun for a change.”
“You think our sexlife is so boring
you must invent artificial stimulants.”
“No! Definitely not boring. I just mean that it’s something fun we can do together.”
“Morgan, we’re not talking about tennis.”
“No, I’m not that good in tennis.”
Reid gave him a long thoughtful look. “Exactly how many times have you
done it?”
“Well….”
“How many partners have you had in your car?”
“Babe….”
“Morgan.”
“Not that many! And none in this car! They were all in my old ones.”
“In your old ones….” Reid looked disgusted. “I assume that includes the one
you had till last May. I was in that car several times and you didn’t warn me!”
“You were never in the backseat!”
“I could have been!”
“You can’t expect me to take strangers to my place, and it can pretty expensive
to keep going to motels-”
“One more word and I’m walking out.”
“That threat doesn’t really work in a moving car.”
--------------------------------------
“How long are you gonna give me the silence treatment?”
Reid was sitting on the couch leafing through a thick book about crop rotation in
Waasland during the 16th century. “I’m not giving you the silence treatment.”
“Yes, you are!”
“I’m not. I just don’t know what to say. Apparently our mutual sexual interaction
is so unstimulating, you feel compelled to give it CPR in your car.”
“I never said I was unhappy with the way things are!”
“That’s what it sounded like.”
“Why do you have to take it so seriously?”
“Because my partner has spend more time in the backseat of his car than a
cabdrivers roadmap in the glove compartment?”
“You’ve been reading Hammett again, haven’t you…?”
“Possibly.” Reid was quiet for a minute. “When was the last time you did it?”
“How am I supposed to remember that? Maybe two years ago, with that redhead.”
“The airline hostess?”
“Yeah. It was kinda disappointing….”
“I’ll regret asking this, but I’ll ask anyway.
Why was it disappointing?”
“You know how airhostesses have to be thin, so they can easily go back and forth
on those narrow aisles?”
“There is no regulations that limit’s the physical appearance of airline emp-”
“Babe, it doesn’t matter. The point is that they are skinny, but they are not that
flexible.”
“Why did I ask….”
“That space is really small so you have to improvise, and-”
“Is there a point in there? Somewhere?”
“Yep. You’re a lot more flexible then she was…..”
“That’s not going to work.”
“Can you imagine it? We could put Kama Sutra to shame…. Even that pop-up version.”
“You haven’t even read it all the way thought.”
“Because you hid it from me!”
“I had to, you were getting weird ideas….”
“Have you read it?” Morgan asked suspiciously.
“Don’t try to change the topic.” Reid blushed.
“Babe…. One more time…. Imagine putting a slutty, busty airline hostess to shame…”
“Nice tactic, but it’s not going to work.”
“Okay, maybe she was after all….”
“Not working.”
“I mean she was open for anything and just insatiable….”
“Still not working.”
“She gave a whole new meaning to that phrase about `friendly skies`….”
“Fine, but you’ll keep your seatbelt on.” Reid grabbed Morgan by his shirt and
dragged him to the front door.
“Where do you wanna drive?” Morgan chuckled.
“Who said anything about driving?” Reid shoved him into the car. “I’m not fooling
around on some deserted alley. The car stays here on the driveway, nobody ever
comes here from the street.”
“That`s okay with me.” Morgan glanced down and stared at the sight. “”Wow….“
“What?”
“Pretty Boy… you ripped my zipper….”
“You’ve never complained about that before.” Reid said, looking puzzled.
“I’m not complaining, just commenting.”
TBC