three weeks to go...

[firebird84]

As it's nearly Christmas (man, where has the year gone?), here are the lyrics to what is possibly the dirtiest Christmas song known to mankind. Read if you dare...

Ho Ho Fucking Ho - Kevin Bloody Wilson

Sung to the tune of 'Jingle Bells' (I think)

Ho ho fucking ho
What a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

I'm Rudolph and I quit
Just who does he think he is
That little fat cunt sat back in the sleigh
Crackin' that fuckin' whip
And me stuck up the front
Of these other useless cunts
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

Ho ho fucking ho
What a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

And what about us elves
We've had enough as well
Workin' in that freezin' factory
Cold as fuckin' hell
Workin' till we drop
With our bollocks freezin' off
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

Ho ho fucking ho
What a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

I'm Santa Claus' wife
I know what he's really like
Sneakin' into them little kids' rooms
He's a fuckin' paedophile
A devious old drunk
And I'm married to the cunt
So stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

Ho ho fucking ho
What a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking ho

It's very funny, so if you don't mind some rather heavy swearing then download it. I have a Flash animation of the chorus, if anyone wants me to email it to them comment and I'll send it. There's also a song called 'Santa Was Stoned At Christmas' which is also pretty funny. Both of them are on WinMX - look up Kevin Bloody Wilson and you'll find them.

I'm off to a Christmas beach party at about six, which, despite the fact that it doesn't even feel like summer, will be a lot of fun. I still need to iron my Christmas shirt (red with silver writing) and my jeans, find a couple of CDs, have a shower and finish charging my phone's battery, but apart from that I'm all set to go. I wonder if I should take 'Snowed In' with me... *ponders*