(no subject)
Anyone up for a review post?
I am.
It's Tuesday, March 9th, I'm off from rehearsal tonight, and the old reviews I'll be sharing are:
Zombie Strippers
2.5 stars
Okay, first and foremost, I rented this movie on a dare, so let it be known to one and all that I highly doubt I would have ever watched it of my own complete volition. That said, however, given how horrendously bad it obviously had to be (and was), I was surprised by how horrendously bad it actually wasn't. Yes, it has gratuitous boobs, splashy gore, stereotypes, ridiculous dialogue and no depth of plot whatsoever, but it also has...philosophy and satire? Yep, you heard right. According to the special features (on the DVD, you sicko), this movie was loosely based on a satirical Ionesco play called Rhinoceros (hence the name of the film's strip club, The Rhino, and its owner, Ian Esco). Evidently Ionesco + Resident Evil + Striptease = a viable film about zombie strippers. Go figure. Not only that, but almost every philosopher from Sartre to Nietzche shows up at some point or other (in their books or philosophies, not in person or as a zombie)--even the strippers themselves are reading or discussing the meaning of life in a very philosophical way, and the question of what it actually means to be human (as opposed, I think, to being a zombie) is brought up and discussed with a surprising level of maturity.
So yeah, this movie is trashy and ridiculous, and I wouldn't exactly recommend it...but it does go to show that sometimes the things about which we have the lowest expectations can surprise us by being halfway decent.
Sex and Breakfast
2 stars
This movie has an interesting premise: placing sex, a fairly taboo yet very important relationship topic, on par with breakfast, something normal and blase to which no one gives a second thought. Very naturally and even nonchalantly, it touches on orgasms, exes, homoeroticism, homophobia, fantasies, masturbation, jealousy and swinging (almost every aspect of sex but BDSM). It explores sex as uniter, divider and experiment; how it can bring couples closer together or drive them further apart, and how it relates to love and romance. It has some interesting metaphors--for instance, when the men of each principal couple compare lunch orders, it is clear they behave the same ways in the restaurant and in the bedroom. (One recommends the "Denver omelet," which is spicier and riskier; the other claims that while he looks over the whole menu, he always ends up ordering the "club sandwich," something plain and safe.) Moreover, it does all these things with a minimum of actual sex scenes and almost no nudity.
Unfortunately, all this clever erotic filmmaking suffers from being cerebral and detached. It was difficult to relate to either of the couples, and the buildup to their trying group sex with each other (and denoument following it) was just not that engaging. The primary actors and locales were nondescript, and the supporting characters were hard to believe. So not a bad movie, really, but generally forgettable.
Wanted
3 stars
I don't really know why I didn't like this movie more than I did. It had insane action and stunts, cool fantasy elements, an edgy and self-reliant attitude, good actors, and some eye candy both female and vehicular. I guess it just seemed really contrived--even some of the fantastical stuff, like the curving bullets thing, seemed like it was trying to find what few stops that hadn't been pulled out by the Matrix trilogy. The story followed a logical premise to a logical conclusion, but never felt like it had a compelling reason to be happening, nor was its conclusion particularly satisfying--and the Luke-I-am-your-father moment made me cringe. So as I say about many movies on here, Wanted didn't suck, but neither did it thrill to the point that I thought it would.
Juno
4.5 stars
"Holy crap, this movie is awesome." I think that was my verbatim quote after watching (and hearing the dialogue in) the first five to ten minutes of Juno. I've seen a lot of movies, but I have found comparatively few that have scripts as tight and witty as this one's was. Furthermore, it took an issue that EVERYONE seems to have their own opinion about (teen pregnancy) and made a movie about it that seems to appeal to EVERYONE no matter what their opinion in that issue is.
For serious, that last thing deserves some attention. Juno made pregnancy...well, maybe not COOL, but at least not the end of the world for high schoolers, acknowledged that it was a mistake but addressed it with responsibility, made abortion a logical and acceptable choice but decided against it anyway, looked at sex both in and out of a relationship, included the parents' point of view, explored the role of love for all concerned, showed adoption as both a right and a wrong choice depending who is doing the adopting, and showed young people with the capability for serious maturity. And it did all that while being funny, emotionally genuine, and entertaining as hell. You just can't beat that, not with any number of sticks. Ellen Page is absolutely priceless, Michael Cera, Jason Bateman and J.K. Simmons are letter-perfect for their parts, and Jennifer Garner shows great poignance and depth. The only thing I didn't like about it was its soundtrack, and that's just because I don't like indie music. The movie is a must-see.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
2 stars
See also my review of Hellboy. Action was decent, cartoon/comic-like portrayal of heroes and villains was kind of cool, incorporation of a "legend" added some depth, but whatever was required to make the leap from good to great, this movie didn't have it. I felt like it really was trying too hard to be amazing both with action and with angst, and the two got in each other's way. Not entirely a waste of time, but I question the necessity of its presence as a sequel.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
3.5 stars
This movie benefited from much of what made its predecessor mediocre; especially the fact that it was being adapted from a book. More specifically, it occurs to me that while everyone and their brother pretty much knows all about The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and thus has huge expectations of what it would/should be like as a film, comparatively few of those people have read any other books in the Narnia Chronicles in nearly as much depth (I know I hadn't, though I had read them all once), so expectations for Prince Caspian were not as insanely high. Given that, much of what in Wardrobe was insipid, rushed, overdone or contrived, in Price Caspian was natural, exciting and fluid. I particularly enjoyed seeing how Edmund and Lucy had grown up, both as actors and as characters, and how much more action this film was able to incorporate into its story. And Eddie Izzard as Reepicheep was priceless! So while it will never be Harry Potter or LOTR, this movie was much more enjoyable than its prequel was, and I'm interested to see what (if anything) gets done with the Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
Wasted
1.5 stars
Okay, this is the problem I have with films like this, which I like to call "snapshot movies." They present characters, show their situations and issues, watch them do a few things, and then leave those characters EXACTLY WHERE THEY FOUND THEM. In this film, the title "Wasted" is apt, because when you finish it you feel you have just WASTED two hours watching people go nowhere. One main character throws everything away in a misguided act of penance, another waffles between cheating on his long-distance girl and avoiding the hot but clingy high-schooler with whom he just cheated, and a third actually appears to be progressing out of his pathetic and insecure shell until the gorgeous but seemingly kind girl who seems to be helping him do that drops him like a hot potato and he withdraws back to who and where he was before--that last one being absolutely painful to watch. So not only did this movie go absolutely nowhere in every respect, it also committed the cardinal sin of setting up a happy ending and then throwing it to the dogs. Aggravating on almost every front, and not worth its few good parts or its commentary on life, high school, friendships, romance or anything else.
Spring Break is only a couple weeks away, people. I'll have many more reviews to share with you then, if not sooner. Have a great night!
FBS
I am.
It's Tuesday, March 9th, I'm off from rehearsal tonight, and the old reviews I'll be sharing are:
Zombie Strippers
2.5 stars
Okay, first and foremost, I rented this movie on a dare, so let it be known to one and all that I highly doubt I would have ever watched it of my own complete volition. That said, however, given how horrendously bad it obviously had to be (and was), I was surprised by how horrendously bad it actually wasn't. Yes, it has gratuitous boobs, splashy gore, stereotypes, ridiculous dialogue and no depth of plot whatsoever, but it also has...philosophy and satire? Yep, you heard right. According to the special features (on the DVD, you sicko), this movie was loosely based on a satirical Ionesco play called Rhinoceros (hence the name of the film's strip club, The Rhino, and its owner, Ian Esco). Evidently Ionesco + Resident Evil + Striptease = a viable film about zombie strippers. Go figure. Not only that, but almost every philosopher from Sartre to Nietzche shows up at some point or other (in their books or philosophies, not in person or as a zombie)--even the strippers themselves are reading or discussing the meaning of life in a very philosophical way, and the question of what it actually means to be human (as opposed, I think, to being a zombie) is brought up and discussed with a surprising level of maturity.
So yeah, this movie is trashy and ridiculous, and I wouldn't exactly recommend it...but it does go to show that sometimes the things about which we have the lowest expectations can surprise us by being halfway decent.
Sex and Breakfast
2 stars
This movie has an interesting premise: placing sex, a fairly taboo yet very important relationship topic, on par with breakfast, something normal and blase to which no one gives a second thought. Very naturally and even nonchalantly, it touches on orgasms, exes, homoeroticism, homophobia, fantasies, masturbation, jealousy and swinging (almost every aspect of sex but BDSM). It explores sex as uniter, divider and experiment; how it can bring couples closer together or drive them further apart, and how it relates to love and romance. It has some interesting metaphors--for instance, when the men of each principal couple compare lunch orders, it is clear they behave the same ways in the restaurant and in the bedroom. (One recommends the "Denver omelet," which is spicier and riskier; the other claims that while he looks over the whole menu, he always ends up ordering the "club sandwich," something plain and safe.) Moreover, it does all these things with a minimum of actual sex scenes and almost no nudity.
Unfortunately, all this clever erotic filmmaking suffers from being cerebral and detached. It was difficult to relate to either of the couples, and the buildup to their trying group sex with each other (and denoument following it) was just not that engaging. The primary actors and locales were nondescript, and the supporting characters were hard to believe. So not a bad movie, really, but generally forgettable.
Wanted
3 stars
I don't really know why I didn't like this movie more than I did. It had insane action and stunts, cool fantasy elements, an edgy and self-reliant attitude, good actors, and some eye candy both female and vehicular. I guess it just seemed really contrived--even some of the fantastical stuff, like the curving bullets thing, seemed like it was trying to find what few stops that hadn't been pulled out by the Matrix trilogy. The story followed a logical premise to a logical conclusion, but never felt like it had a compelling reason to be happening, nor was its conclusion particularly satisfying--and the Luke-I-am-your-father moment made me cringe. So as I say about many movies on here, Wanted didn't suck, but neither did it thrill to the point that I thought it would.
Juno
4.5 stars
"Holy crap, this movie is awesome." I think that was my verbatim quote after watching (and hearing the dialogue in) the first five to ten minutes of Juno. I've seen a lot of movies, but I have found comparatively few that have scripts as tight and witty as this one's was. Furthermore, it took an issue that EVERYONE seems to have their own opinion about (teen pregnancy) and made a movie about it that seems to appeal to EVERYONE no matter what their opinion in that issue is.
For serious, that last thing deserves some attention. Juno made pregnancy...well, maybe not COOL, but at least not the end of the world for high schoolers, acknowledged that it was a mistake but addressed it with responsibility, made abortion a logical and acceptable choice but decided against it anyway, looked at sex both in and out of a relationship, included the parents' point of view, explored the role of love for all concerned, showed adoption as both a right and a wrong choice depending who is doing the adopting, and showed young people with the capability for serious maturity. And it did all that while being funny, emotionally genuine, and entertaining as hell. You just can't beat that, not with any number of sticks. Ellen Page is absolutely priceless, Michael Cera, Jason Bateman and J.K. Simmons are letter-perfect for their parts, and Jennifer Garner shows great poignance and depth. The only thing I didn't like about it was its soundtrack, and that's just because I don't like indie music. The movie is a must-see.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
2 stars
See also my review of Hellboy. Action was decent, cartoon/comic-like portrayal of heroes and villains was kind of cool, incorporation of a "legend" added some depth, but whatever was required to make the leap from good to great, this movie didn't have it. I felt like it really was trying too hard to be amazing both with action and with angst, and the two got in each other's way. Not entirely a waste of time, but I question the necessity of its presence as a sequel.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
3.5 stars
This movie benefited from much of what made its predecessor mediocre; especially the fact that it was being adapted from a book. More specifically, it occurs to me that while everyone and their brother pretty much knows all about The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and thus has huge expectations of what it would/should be like as a film, comparatively few of those people have read any other books in the Narnia Chronicles in nearly as much depth (I know I hadn't, though I had read them all once), so expectations for Prince Caspian were not as insanely high. Given that, much of what in Wardrobe was insipid, rushed, overdone or contrived, in Price Caspian was natural, exciting and fluid. I particularly enjoyed seeing how Edmund and Lucy had grown up, both as actors and as characters, and how much more action this film was able to incorporate into its story. And Eddie Izzard as Reepicheep was priceless! So while it will never be Harry Potter or LOTR, this movie was much more enjoyable than its prequel was, and I'm interested to see what (if anything) gets done with the Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
Wasted
1.5 stars
Okay, this is the problem I have with films like this, which I like to call "snapshot movies." They present characters, show their situations and issues, watch them do a few things, and then leave those characters EXACTLY WHERE THEY FOUND THEM. In this film, the title "Wasted" is apt, because when you finish it you feel you have just WASTED two hours watching people go nowhere. One main character throws everything away in a misguided act of penance, another waffles between cheating on his long-distance girl and avoiding the hot but clingy high-schooler with whom he just cheated, and a third actually appears to be progressing out of his pathetic and insecure shell until the gorgeous but seemingly kind girl who seems to be helping him do that drops him like a hot potato and he withdraws back to who and where he was before--that last one being absolutely painful to watch. So not only did this movie go absolutely nowhere in every respect, it also committed the cardinal sin of setting up a happy ending and then throwing it to the dogs. Aggravating on almost every front, and not worth its few good parts or its commentary on life, high school, friendships, romance or anything else.
Spring Break is only a couple weeks away, people. I'll have many more reviews to share with you then, if not sooner. Have a great night!
FBS