Fic: One Simple Truth
OMG! I actually wrote something.
But first, let me take this opportunity to remind peeps that National Drug an Alien Day is April 17th. Details can be found HERE.
Title: One Simple Truth
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy bordering on Crack
Pairing: Clark and Chloe, but not necessarily romantic
Warnings: Stereotype based on gender
Timeline: During Escape
Summary: How I feel one scene in Escape should have played out
Author’s note: I haven’t actually seen Escape, but I did see a gif from this one particular scene and it inspired me. Thank you to go_clo for transcribing a tiny part of the episode.
Word Count: 900
One Simple Truth
“Chloe,” Clark asked as they trudged through the dark woods, “what possessed you to come into the bathroom like that?”
“I don’t remember,” she admitted. A feeling of uneasiness crept over her. What if something was truly wrong with her? “I completely blanked out.”
Clark shot her a questioning glance. “You don’t remember seeing…” He gestured with his hand, starting at his chest and sweeping down his body, stopping just north of mid thigh.
“No! God!” She halted in her tacks. “I definitely don’t remember seeing that!” It was something she should remember seeing. For goodness sake it had to be memorable. “W…wait a minute,” she stuttered as another thought started to form, “was I…? Did you see…?”
He answered her by turning away and hiding his face in shadow.
“Oh God,” Chloe moaned. “This is our last couple’s vacation together.”
“It’s not that big a deal,” Clark said as he started walking again. “I’ve seen you naked before.”
“No you haven’t,” she protested then grabbed his arm and spun him around so he’d have to face her. “How? How have you seen me naked?”
He spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. “Well, I have X-ray vision… and I’m a guy… so… you do the math.”
“You used your X-ray vision on me?” she growled. “When exactly did you do that?”
Clark’s eyes rolled up to the night sky as he thought back. “Sophomore year of high school. I was on Red Kryptonite and not taking responsibility for my actions. I checked you out and saw the mole on your rear end, the one in the shape of a teeny tiny handprint.”
“You saw the mole?” she gasped.
“It’s nice,” he said. “I like to think you got spanked by a leprechaun.”
“I was never spanked by a leprechaun.”
“I still like to think it.”
Chloe took a breath to calm her self. Clark was her best friend. She didn’t like being mad at him. “If you only ever used your X-ray vision on me when you were under the influence of Red K you can’t really be held accountable,” she said. “I guess it’s forgivable.”
“Good.” He smiled at her brightly. “So we’ll say I only ever did it when I was on Red K.”
“You’ve done it other times, haven’t you?”
“Chloe, I’m a guy… and I have X-ray vision.”
“When else have you done it?” she demanded.
“Umm…” He toed the ground beneath him. “Remember that time you got kidnapped and a GPS devise was implanted in your shoulder?”
“Yeah, I remember it really well,” Chloe said. “It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.”
“Mine too,” Clark agreed. “I was so scared you were going to die. I had to focus on something just so I wouldn’t panic. So I focused on…” He pointed a finger at her, right at her chest and then moved it in an oval so that it encompassed both breasts. “…you. It really settled me; put me in a good mood so I could be there when you needed me.”
“So, just the two times?” she asked trying her hardest to believe the best about Clark.
“More or less,” he answered.
“It’s more, isn’t it?”
“Well,” he sighed, “I am a guy… with X-ray vision.”
“Oh God.” Chloe covered her face with her hands. “You must have seen me in all sorts of unflattering positions.”
“Let me reassure you.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “There is no position that’s unflattering for you. You look good even when you pee.”
She looked up at him. “You watched me pee?!”
He threw his hands up in frustration. “You were in the next room sitting on the toilet. What was I supposed to do, not look?”
“YES!”
“NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I’M A GUY…WITH X-RAY VISION.”
“How often do you do this?” she asked. “Once a day? You have a quota or something?”
Clark closed his eyes and took a breath. “Let me put it this way,” he said. “You could wear the same outfit five days in a row and as long as you washed it every night I wouldn’t notice.”
“So,” Chloe said, “the only time you aren’t looking at me naked is when your back is turned or your eyes are shut.”
“Not exactly,” he said, his eyes still closed. “I can see through my eyelids.”
Chloe unconsciously moved her arms to cover herself.
“And I can see through you hands.”
“Promise me, Clark,” she begged. “For the sake of our friendship promise me you’ll stop doing it.”
“I wish I could.” He opened his eyes. His gaze was filled with an honest sadness. “But I have no control over it.”
“Oh.” That changed everything. Clark wasn’t to blame. “I thought you did have control over your X-ray vision.”
“Oh yeah, I have complete control over the X-ray vision,” he said. “I don’t have control over the fact that I’m a guy… with X-ray vision.”
“I’m going to have to invest in lead lined underwear,” she moaned.
“I wouldn’t recommend that,” he said. “It can be neither comfortable nor sanitary.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Chloe asked, her voice again rising in anger. “Do you realize how violated I feel?!”
“How do you think I feel,” Clark yelled back at her.
“I THINK YOU FEEL PRETTY GOOD.”
“Of course I do,” he agreed. “I’m a guy… and I have X-ray vision.”
The End
But first, let me take this opportunity to remind peeps that National Drug an Alien Day is April 17th. Details can be found HERE.
Title: One Simple Truth
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy bordering on Crack
Pairing: Clark and Chloe, but not necessarily romantic
Warnings: Stereotype based on gender
Timeline: During Escape
Summary: How I feel one scene in Escape should have played out
Author’s note: I haven’t actually seen Escape, but I did see a gif from this one particular scene and it inspired me. Thank you to go_clo for transcribing a tiny part of the episode.
Word Count: 900
One Simple Truth
“Chloe,” Clark asked as they trudged through the dark woods, “what possessed you to come into the bathroom like that?”
“I don’t remember,” she admitted. A feeling of uneasiness crept over her. What if something was truly wrong with her? “I completely blanked out.”
Clark shot her a questioning glance. “You don’t remember seeing…” He gestured with his hand, starting at his chest and sweeping down his body, stopping just north of mid thigh.
“No! God!” She halted in her tacks. “I definitely don’t remember seeing that!” It was something she should remember seeing. For goodness sake it had to be memorable. “W…wait a minute,” she stuttered as another thought started to form, “was I…? Did you see…?”
He answered her by turning away and hiding his face in shadow.
“Oh God,” Chloe moaned. “This is our last couple’s vacation together.”
“It’s not that big a deal,” Clark said as he started walking again. “I’ve seen you naked before.”
“No you haven’t,” she protested then grabbed his arm and spun him around so he’d have to face her. “How? How have you seen me naked?”
He spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. “Well, I have X-ray vision… and I’m a guy… so… you do the math.”
“You used your X-ray vision on me?” she growled. “When exactly did you do that?”
Clark’s eyes rolled up to the night sky as he thought back. “Sophomore year of high school. I was on Red Kryptonite and not taking responsibility for my actions. I checked you out and saw the mole on your rear end, the one in the shape of a teeny tiny handprint.”
“You saw the mole?” she gasped.
“It’s nice,” he said. “I like to think you got spanked by a leprechaun.”
“I was never spanked by a leprechaun.”
“I still like to think it.”
Chloe took a breath to calm her self. Clark was her best friend. She didn’t like being mad at him. “If you only ever used your X-ray vision on me when you were under the influence of Red K you can’t really be held accountable,” she said. “I guess it’s forgivable.”
“Good.” He smiled at her brightly. “So we’ll say I only ever did it when I was on Red K.”
“You’ve done it other times, haven’t you?”
“Chloe, I’m a guy… and I have X-ray vision.”
“When else have you done it?” she demanded.
“Umm…” He toed the ground beneath him. “Remember that time you got kidnapped and a GPS devise was implanted in your shoulder?”
“Yeah, I remember it really well,” Chloe said. “It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.”
“Mine too,” Clark agreed. “I was so scared you were going to die. I had to focus on something just so I wouldn’t panic. So I focused on…” He pointed a finger at her, right at her chest and then moved it in an oval so that it encompassed both breasts. “…you. It really settled me; put me in a good mood so I could be there when you needed me.”
“So, just the two times?” she asked trying her hardest to believe the best about Clark.
“More or less,” he answered.
“It’s more, isn’t it?”
“Well,” he sighed, “I am a guy… with X-ray vision.”
“Oh God.” Chloe covered her face with her hands. “You must have seen me in all sorts of unflattering positions.”
“Let me reassure you.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “There is no position that’s unflattering for you. You look good even when you pee.”
She looked up at him. “You watched me pee?!”
He threw his hands up in frustration. “You were in the next room sitting on the toilet. What was I supposed to do, not look?”
“YES!”
“NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I’M A GUY…WITH X-RAY VISION.”
“How often do you do this?” she asked. “Once a day? You have a quota or something?”
Clark closed his eyes and took a breath. “Let me put it this way,” he said. “You could wear the same outfit five days in a row and as long as you washed it every night I wouldn’t notice.”
“So,” Chloe said, “the only time you aren’t looking at me naked is when your back is turned or your eyes are shut.”
“Not exactly,” he said, his eyes still closed. “I can see through my eyelids.”
Chloe unconsciously moved her arms to cover herself.
“And I can see through you hands.”
“Promise me, Clark,” she begged. “For the sake of our friendship promise me you’ll stop doing it.”
“I wish I could.” He opened his eyes. His gaze was filled with an honest sadness. “But I have no control over it.”
“Oh.” That changed everything. Clark wasn’t to blame. “I thought you did have control over your X-ray vision.”
“Oh yeah, I have complete control over the X-ray vision,” he said. “I don’t have control over the fact that I’m a guy… with X-ray vision.”
“I’m going to have to invest in lead lined underwear,” she moaned.
“I wouldn’t recommend that,” he said. “It can be neither comfortable nor sanitary.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Chloe asked, her voice again rising in anger. “Do you realize how violated I feel?!”
“How do you think I feel,” Clark yelled back at her.
“I THINK YOU FEEL PRETTY GOOD.”
“Of course I do,” he agreed. “I’m a guy… and I have X-ray vision.”
The End