FIC: FATE (D/V, L/V, and Claire) NC-17
Title: Fate (chapter 10 )
Author: Firefly2000
Pairing: D/V, L/V
Word count: 2064
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Set seven years after graduation.
Spoilers: Season one
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Logan’s head lay on the steering wheel. His tears seemed endless. ‘I’ll run out of tears eventually, I know I will’ he thought for the tenth time since his crying jig began. He had been sitting in Veronica’s driveway, trying to gather the strength to leave. Every time he reached out to crank the car, a wave of sobs would rush from his body. This would be running away again, he couldn’t leave her again.
Logan silently thanked whoever decided to put a box of Kleenex in the car. Otherwise, he would be a snotty mess by now. He pulled down the sun visor and looked in the mirror. His face was a red, splotchy mess and his eyes were puffy and swollen.
He looked at his watch. He had been sitting there for an hour. As he pulled the last tissue from the box, he knew it was time to leave. He wasn’t sure yet if he’d drive home or to the 7-11 for more Kleenex. Logan turned the key in the ignition and his cell phone rang.
“Hello?” His voice sounded raspy from crying.
“Don’t go,” Veronica whispered breathlessly.
Logan was out of the car and through the front door like a bolt of lightening. Veronica was sitting on the floor by the front window. She had been watching him the whole time.
He dropped to his knees in front of her. Somehow, his body found the ability to create more tears. Her face was pretty much a mirror image of his. The tear lines created salty tracks down her face and neck. There was a mound of tissues by her side large enough to rival the one in his car.
“Please don’t go,” she whispered tearfully as she looked into his bloodshot eyes.
Logan pulled Veronica onto her knees and wrapped her in his shaky arms, burying his face in her hair. “I’ll never leave you, baby,” his voice faltered with emotions.
“I’m afraid to trust you, Logan, but I don’t want you to leave.”
He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. “I know that I have to earn your trust, Veronica. I just need to know that you’ll give me the opportunity to try. Can you do that?” He searched her face, desperate for a glimmer of hope.
She nodded. Her voice was lost to tears. She tangled her fingers in the back of Logan’s hair and hugged him tightly, feeling as though she was melting into him. She had longed to have him hold her this way. Having him here and in her arms was truly a dream come true. She began to feel lightheaded from the rush of emotions that flooded her body.
Veronica’s breathing grew slightly ragged and Logan pulled back to look at her. “Are you OK?” He asked with concern.
“I took my medicine on an empty stomach.” Her face grew pale as she spoke.
Logan stood quickly and picked her up, carrying her into the kitchen. He sat her at the counter and opened the fridge quickly as he kept a watchful eye on her.
“Let’s get a quick snack while I order the Chinese.” He pulled a bowl of fruit salad out and set it in front of Veronica as he fished in the utensil drawer for a fork. “Eat a few bites of this while I order.” Pulling his cell phone out, he dialed the familiar number.
Veronica took a few bites of the fruit salad as she listened to Logan order their food. She frowned at the items he chose. When he hung up, she looked at him as if he had horns.
“Steamed rice, steamed vegetables, no sauce and no MSG, are you nuts?”
Logan smiled as he kissed her on the forehead then stole the bite of fruit salad from her fork. “You’re lucky I ordered Chinese at all. We’re having too much trouble keeping that blood pressure of yours in check as it is.”
“Oh really, ‘we’re having trouble’? Since when did I become a ‘we’?”
Logan put his forehead to hers. “I love you, Veronica, and that makes you part of me. I promised Claire that I would take care of you. I don’t intend to break a promise to my daughter. Would you want me to do that?” Logan smiled at her and winked as he straightened, picking a grape out of the bowl and popping it into his mouth.
Veronica shook her head. She felt her thoughts muddle in a quagmire of confusion. This feeling was common to her lately, more common than she would like to admit.
“So, is this sudden concern about me for Claire’s benefit? Or is it your way of feeling better about yourself?”
Logan sighed a little, glancing away. “You like doing that, don’t you?”
“Doing what, questioning your motives?”
Veronica sounded upset and it worried him. Her color still wasn’t back to normal and she looked queasy.
Logan began rubbing soothing circles on her back as he spoke. “I’m doing it for you and Claire. I love you and her. I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure your safety and well-being. Right now, that means keeping your blood pressure in check.”
Veronica blinked back tears. “I missed you so much, Logan,” she said as her lip quivered. “Everyday, I looked into Claire’s eyes and saw you staring back at me. When I was pregnant, I prayed with every unanswered letter that she would look like me, not you. I didn’t know how I could get through a life with a constant reminder of you looking at me.”
Wiping a stray tear from her cheek, she continued. “The doctor handed her to me and my heart broke. She looked just like you. I thought it was some sort of twisted payback for something I had done wrong. Then she opened her eyes and it was as if she looked into my soul, and I was relieved that she looked like you. I didn’t want to forget you. Fate wasn’t going to let me forget.”
Logan’s heart pounded at her confessions. He sat down beside her, pulling her hands to his mouth and kissing them gently. “I’d do anything to get another chance,” he stared into her eyes.
“What about Duncan?” She swayed slightly as she spoke.
“What about Duncan?” He whispered as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. “What about Duncan?” He repeated with more urgency as he captured her lips for a tender kiss. The blood was rushing in his ears now. He could hear his own heartbeat as he pulled back. “I’m your soul mate, Veronica.”
“Logan, please…I’m scared.” Her eyes were pleading with him to give her some time.
He could feel that she was on the edge. She wanted him. She loved him. He could feel it. It was in her eyes as she looked at him. His hand was resting against her neck as he held her forehead to his. He felt her pulse pounding against his thumb and it frightened him.
‘I have to back off’ he told himself as he brushed against her lips one last time.
“I’m sorry, take all the time you need,” he said as he moved back slightly.
Veronica blinked slowly and swayed again. “I feel dizzy,” she mumbled and slumped against him.
Logan caught her quickly. “I think you need to lie down for a few minutes,” he said as he carried her to the bedroom.
He laid her on the bed gently and she held onto his arm. “Please don’t leave me, I don’t feel well,” she begged.
“I’m not leaving,” he said as he laid down beside her, pulling her against his chest.
“I almost moved away from here,” she mumbled as Logan caressed her cheek with his fingertips.
“From this house?”
“No, from Neptune,” she said softly. “Duncan was accepted at Harvard. He wanted us to go with him. He put off the first year because I was pregnant. He really wanted to go after Claire was born.”
“What happened?”
“I couldn’t leave,” she gulped.
“Why baby, because of your dad?”
“No, because I was afraid you would come home and I would be gone.”
Logan’s breath hitched and he tightened his hold on her. “I’m so sorry, Veronica.”
“I let poor Duncan believe it was because of my dad. I begged him to go. I told him that I would be OK, but he refused to leave me.”
Logan felt his stomach churn slightly as she continued. “He wouldn’t leave me, but I’m supposed to leave him.”
“Shhh, baby,” he whispered. He didn’t want her to become upset again. And he was afraid she would tell him that he didn’t stand a chance with her.
“How could you leave me?” Veronica’s voice was strained with emotion.
“I don’t know, Veronica,” he sighed. “At first I made the excuse that it was for your own good. The paparazzi hounded us constantly. They never left us alone. I told myself that if I left, you could have a normal life, free from the press.”
Veronica snorted, “You think they left me alone when you skipped town?”
“Didn’t they?”
“You must be kidding,” she scoffed sarcastically. “They were like vultures. I rarely left the apartment. I finally started going out again when I was seven months along. A reporter snapped a picture of me and Duncan went after him, jerking his camera away and smashing it on the ground.”
“Good for him, I hate fucking paparazzi,” Logan growled.
Logan heard her whimper and he looked down at her face twisted in anguish. “He was going to do a story about how you ‘knocked me up’ and skipped town.”
“Do you hate me, Veronica?” Logan asked, looking at her intently with fear in his eyes. “I wouldn’t blame you, I just need to know.”
“I wanted to, oh God, how I wanted to hate you. Leaving was the coward’s way out, Logan.”
“Yes, it was. I’ve know that for years now. I was just too stupid to come home and admit it to you.” Logan propped up on his elbow and looked at her. “I thought of every excuse in the world to come home. I was too afraid to see you happy with someone else though.” He sighed and flopped down on the bed again. “That little admission makes me an even bigger ass than before. I am selfish and self-centered. I am a coward. I’m all those things and more where you’re concerned. Leaving was the biggest mistake of my life, Veronica. I was young and confused. I never had a stable role model in my life. I had an abuser and a coward as role models. Guess who I chose to follow?”
Veronica had calmed now, she wiped her eyes and sat up. “You can’t let your past determine the person you’ll be, Logan. You have to be strong enough to overcome all those obstacles and rise above what society expects of you.”
“Where do we go from here?”
“We try to trust each other a little more every day and we prove to Claire that we will both be there for her. I want you to stay, Logan. I won’t push you away again, but you have to understand that I’m going to marry Duncan. He loves us and we love him. I won‘t stray from the commitment I made to him anymore than he would.”
Logan couldn’t say anything. He just nodded sadly. He knew that, based on the facts, she was making the right decision. He had left and Duncan had stayed.
“Maybe I shouldn’t move across the street.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she said.
He threaded his fingers through hers again and smiled at her. “But I am moving to Neptune. I want to be with Claire. Do you have a problem with her having two fathers?” He fidgeted nervously with her fingers.
Stepping aside was the right thing to do. Logan knew that he had to make the ultimate sacrifice. Duncan had sacrificed everything and now it was his turn.
“I think it’s wonderful,” she smiled.
This wasn’t exactly ‘Happily ever after.’ But it was all he was going to get. And it was more than he deserved. And, for once, Logan Echolls wasn’t going to take the coward’s way out.
Author: Firefly2000
Pairing: D/V, L/V
Word count: 2064
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Set seven years after graduation.
Spoilers: Season one
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Logan’s head lay on the steering wheel. His tears seemed endless. ‘I’ll run out of tears eventually, I know I will’ he thought for the tenth time since his crying jig began. He had been sitting in Veronica’s driveway, trying to gather the strength to leave. Every time he reached out to crank the car, a wave of sobs would rush from his body. This would be running away again, he couldn’t leave her again.
Logan silently thanked whoever decided to put a box of Kleenex in the car. Otherwise, he would be a snotty mess by now. He pulled down the sun visor and looked in the mirror. His face was a red, splotchy mess and his eyes were puffy and swollen.
He looked at his watch. He had been sitting there for an hour. As he pulled the last tissue from the box, he knew it was time to leave. He wasn’t sure yet if he’d drive home or to the 7-11 for more Kleenex. Logan turned the key in the ignition and his cell phone rang.
“Hello?” His voice sounded raspy from crying.
“Don’t go,” Veronica whispered breathlessly.
Logan was out of the car and through the front door like a bolt of lightening. Veronica was sitting on the floor by the front window. She had been watching him the whole time.
He dropped to his knees in front of her. Somehow, his body found the ability to create more tears. Her face was pretty much a mirror image of his. The tear lines created salty tracks down her face and neck. There was a mound of tissues by her side large enough to rival the one in his car.
“Please don’t go,” she whispered tearfully as she looked into his bloodshot eyes.
Logan pulled Veronica onto her knees and wrapped her in his shaky arms, burying his face in her hair. “I’ll never leave you, baby,” his voice faltered with emotions.
“I’m afraid to trust you, Logan, but I don’t want you to leave.”
He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. “I know that I have to earn your trust, Veronica. I just need to know that you’ll give me the opportunity to try. Can you do that?” He searched her face, desperate for a glimmer of hope.
She nodded. Her voice was lost to tears. She tangled her fingers in the back of Logan’s hair and hugged him tightly, feeling as though she was melting into him. She had longed to have him hold her this way. Having him here and in her arms was truly a dream come true. She began to feel lightheaded from the rush of emotions that flooded her body.
Veronica’s breathing grew slightly ragged and Logan pulled back to look at her. “Are you OK?” He asked with concern.
“I took my medicine on an empty stomach.” Her face grew pale as she spoke.
Logan stood quickly and picked her up, carrying her into the kitchen. He sat her at the counter and opened the fridge quickly as he kept a watchful eye on her.
“Let’s get a quick snack while I order the Chinese.” He pulled a bowl of fruit salad out and set it in front of Veronica as he fished in the utensil drawer for a fork. “Eat a few bites of this while I order.” Pulling his cell phone out, he dialed the familiar number.
Veronica took a few bites of the fruit salad as she listened to Logan order their food. She frowned at the items he chose. When he hung up, she looked at him as if he had horns.
“Steamed rice, steamed vegetables, no sauce and no MSG, are you nuts?”
Logan smiled as he kissed her on the forehead then stole the bite of fruit salad from her fork. “You’re lucky I ordered Chinese at all. We’re having too much trouble keeping that blood pressure of yours in check as it is.”
“Oh really, ‘we’re having trouble’? Since when did I become a ‘we’?”
Logan put his forehead to hers. “I love you, Veronica, and that makes you part of me. I promised Claire that I would take care of you. I don’t intend to break a promise to my daughter. Would you want me to do that?” Logan smiled at her and winked as he straightened, picking a grape out of the bowl and popping it into his mouth.
Veronica shook her head. She felt her thoughts muddle in a quagmire of confusion. This feeling was common to her lately, more common than she would like to admit.
“So, is this sudden concern about me for Claire’s benefit? Or is it your way of feeling better about yourself?”
Logan sighed a little, glancing away. “You like doing that, don’t you?”
“Doing what, questioning your motives?”
Veronica sounded upset and it worried him. Her color still wasn’t back to normal and she looked queasy.
Logan began rubbing soothing circles on her back as he spoke. “I’m doing it for you and Claire. I love you and her. I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure your safety and well-being. Right now, that means keeping your blood pressure in check.”
Veronica blinked back tears. “I missed you so much, Logan,” she said as her lip quivered. “Everyday, I looked into Claire’s eyes and saw you staring back at me. When I was pregnant, I prayed with every unanswered letter that she would look like me, not you. I didn’t know how I could get through a life with a constant reminder of you looking at me.”
Wiping a stray tear from her cheek, she continued. “The doctor handed her to me and my heart broke. She looked just like you. I thought it was some sort of twisted payback for something I had done wrong. Then she opened her eyes and it was as if she looked into my soul, and I was relieved that she looked like you. I didn’t want to forget you. Fate wasn’t going to let me forget.”
Logan’s heart pounded at her confessions. He sat down beside her, pulling her hands to his mouth and kissing them gently. “I’d do anything to get another chance,” he stared into her eyes.
“What about Duncan?” She swayed slightly as she spoke.
“What about Duncan?” He whispered as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. “What about Duncan?” He repeated with more urgency as he captured her lips for a tender kiss. The blood was rushing in his ears now. He could hear his own heartbeat as he pulled back. “I’m your soul mate, Veronica.”
“Logan, please…I’m scared.” Her eyes were pleading with him to give her some time.
He could feel that she was on the edge. She wanted him. She loved him. He could feel it. It was in her eyes as she looked at him. His hand was resting against her neck as he held her forehead to his. He felt her pulse pounding against his thumb and it frightened him.
‘I have to back off’ he told himself as he brushed against her lips one last time.
“I’m sorry, take all the time you need,” he said as he moved back slightly.
Veronica blinked slowly and swayed again. “I feel dizzy,” she mumbled and slumped against him.
Logan caught her quickly. “I think you need to lie down for a few minutes,” he said as he carried her to the bedroom.
He laid her on the bed gently and she held onto his arm. “Please don’t leave me, I don’t feel well,” she begged.
“I’m not leaving,” he said as he laid down beside her, pulling her against his chest.
“I almost moved away from here,” she mumbled as Logan caressed her cheek with his fingertips.
“From this house?”
“No, from Neptune,” she said softly. “Duncan was accepted at Harvard. He wanted us to go with him. He put off the first year because I was pregnant. He really wanted to go after Claire was born.”
“What happened?”
“I couldn’t leave,” she gulped.
“Why baby, because of your dad?”
“No, because I was afraid you would come home and I would be gone.”
Logan’s breath hitched and he tightened his hold on her. “I’m so sorry, Veronica.”
“I let poor Duncan believe it was because of my dad. I begged him to go. I told him that I would be OK, but he refused to leave me.”
Logan felt his stomach churn slightly as she continued. “He wouldn’t leave me, but I’m supposed to leave him.”
“Shhh, baby,” he whispered. He didn’t want her to become upset again. And he was afraid she would tell him that he didn’t stand a chance with her.
“How could you leave me?” Veronica’s voice was strained with emotion.
“I don’t know, Veronica,” he sighed. “At first I made the excuse that it was for your own good. The paparazzi hounded us constantly. They never left us alone. I told myself that if I left, you could have a normal life, free from the press.”
Veronica snorted, “You think they left me alone when you skipped town?”
“Didn’t they?”
“You must be kidding,” she scoffed sarcastically. “They were like vultures. I rarely left the apartment. I finally started going out again when I was seven months along. A reporter snapped a picture of me and Duncan went after him, jerking his camera away and smashing it on the ground.”
“Good for him, I hate fucking paparazzi,” Logan growled.
Logan heard her whimper and he looked down at her face twisted in anguish. “He was going to do a story about how you ‘knocked me up’ and skipped town.”
“Do you hate me, Veronica?” Logan asked, looking at her intently with fear in his eyes. “I wouldn’t blame you, I just need to know.”
“I wanted to, oh God, how I wanted to hate you. Leaving was the coward’s way out, Logan.”
“Yes, it was. I’ve know that for years now. I was just too stupid to come home and admit it to you.” Logan propped up on his elbow and looked at her. “I thought of every excuse in the world to come home. I was too afraid to see you happy with someone else though.” He sighed and flopped down on the bed again. “That little admission makes me an even bigger ass than before. I am selfish and self-centered. I am a coward. I’m all those things and more where you’re concerned. Leaving was the biggest mistake of my life, Veronica. I was young and confused. I never had a stable role model in my life. I had an abuser and a coward as role models. Guess who I chose to follow?”
Veronica had calmed now, she wiped her eyes and sat up. “You can’t let your past determine the person you’ll be, Logan. You have to be strong enough to overcome all those obstacles and rise above what society expects of you.”
“Where do we go from here?”
“We try to trust each other a little more every day and we prove to Claire that we will both be there for her. I want you to stay, Logan. I won’t push you away again, but you have to understand that I’m going to marry Duncan. He loves us and we love him. I won‘t stray from the commitment I made to him anymore than he would.”
Logan couldn’t say anything. He just nodded sadly. He knew that, based on the facts, she was making the right decision. He had left and Duncan had stayed.
“Maybe I shouldn’t move across the street.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she said.
He threaded his fingers through hers again and smiled at her. “But I am moving to Neptune. I want to be with Claire. Do you have a problem with her having two fathers?” He fidgeted nervously with her fingers.
Stepping aside was the right thing to do. Logan knew that he had to make the ultimate sacrifice. Duncan had sacrificed everything and now it was his turn.
“I think it’s wonderful,” she smiled.
This wasn’t exactly ‘Happily ever after.’ But it was all he was going to get. And it was more than he deserved. And, for once, Logan Echolls wasn’t going to take the coward’s way out.