FIC: FATE (D/V, L/V) NC-17
Title: Fate (Chapter 4)
Author: Firefly2000
Pairing: D/V, L/V
Word count: 2418
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Life seven years after graduation.
Spoilers: Season one
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Logan sat down in the car and began crying so hard that Trina was speechless. She reached over and placed her hand on his knee.
“She’s so beautiful,” he sobbed.
“Yeah, she really is,” Trina confirmed. She was at a loss as to how to sooth him. She wasn’t used to seeing Logan show his emotions.
He looked at her suddenly. “Do you have Veronica’s number?”
“Yes, it‘s right here.” She dug in her purse and pulled out a business card.
Logan took the card, looking at it as he wiped his eyes. “She’s a photographer?” he asked reading the card.
“Yeah, she does weddings and all the big social events in the area.”
Logan nodded as he rubbed his finger over the raised lettering of her name. He whispered. ‘Veronica Mars.’ At least she isn’t married, he thought. Then his anger at her began to take over. She had kept his child from him. She had never even sought him out.
I deserved to know, he thought.
“Are you going to call her?” Trina watched as Logan looked at the card intently, as he tightly clenched his jaw.
He didn’t answer. He just looked intently out the window and began to cry again.
“Do you want me to call her? Set up a meeting?” Trina offered.
“Please,” he choked out handing the card back without looking at her.
Trina dialed the number. Veronica answered on the third ring. She sounded upset. Duncan must have called her, Trina mused.
“Uh…Veronica?” Trina hesitated, hearing Logan’s breath hitch she looked over at him. He looked so defeated. It was so unlike him to let things get him down. She was beginning to worry.
“Hi, Trina”
“Am I calling at a bad time?” Trina really didn’t want to bother Veronica, but Logan’s world was falling apart.
“I think you know the answer to that. I’m sure he’s with you,” Veronica said harshly.
“Yeah, uh…he wants to meet you somewhere to talk.” Trina stammered as she watched Logan stiffen in anticipation of Veronica’s answer.
“Fine, he can meet me at my house. I don’t want to get into a screaming match with him in public. I’ll meet him there in an hour.” She gave Trina the address, and then hung up.
Trina handed Logan the business card with Veronica’s address on it. “She will meet you there in an hour. Duncan called her. She doesn’t seem too thrilled about this.”
“Well, she will just have to get over it! Now won‘t she?” He spit out hatefully.
“May I remind you Logan that, YOU are the one who left…NOT her?” Trina was losing her patience with him.
He glared at her. “She never once tried to contact me about Claire.” His voice was icy.
Trina smiled, in spite of his tone. “Claire, is that her name?”
“Yeah,” Logan breathed. He thought about the picture of her, a little smile playing on his lips for a second.
“Did you ever stop to consider that maybe she did search for you and couldn’t find you?”
“She knew where I was. At least Duncan did. He admitted it to me.”
“Oh,” was all Trina could think to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Arriving at their old home, Logan grabbed the keys to one of the many cars still sitting in the garage. He drove along the streets of Neptune, slowly moving closer to the address that Veronica had given to Trina. He pulled in front of her house and stared at it for a few minutes. It was in a very upscale middle-class neighborhood.
“So, this is where my child lives…the place she calls home,” he said softly.
He opened the car door and slowly stepped out. There was a white minivan in the driveway. He assumed it belonged to Veronica and that she was home.
Logan raised his hand to knock but the door opened suddenly. Veronica stared at him for a moment, then stepped back so that he could enter.
Logan walked in slowly, trying to take in everything about the house. It wasn’t huge, but it certainly wasn’t as tiny as her apartment had been.
There were pictures all over the walls. Everywhere he looked, there were pictures of Claire. He suddenly felt uncomfortable. Like a stranger, rather than the person who had loved her forever.
She wordlessly directed him into the living room. It was colorful, filled with clues that a small child lived there. Barbie dolls covered the coffee table, some half-dressed. One looked as though its head had been shaven. He smiled a little, trying to picture Claire playing with her dolls.
“Have a seat Logan,” Veronica said suddenly. He jumped a little at the sound of her voice. It sent shivers down his spine. He had forgotten the effect that the sound of her voice had on him.
“I’d rather stand,” his voice faltered. He fidgeted nervously with the zipper of his jacket.
Veronica sat down and curled her legs underneath her. She had yet to make eye contact with him but he was looking directly at her. Logan tried to read every move, every flinch in her expression.
“Why are you here?” She finally met his eyes. Suddenly, he needed to sit. If he didn’t, he was going to fall down. Her cold look was enough to bring him to his knees.
“Trina called me. She said that she saw you.” Logan didn’t know what else to say. He was mad. Despite the coldness in her eyes as she warily regarded him, he really didn’t want to get into an argument with her.
Veronica laughed humorlessly. “Remind me to send her a thank you note.” she snarked.
“So, you don’t want me here?” Logan‘s voice grew bitter with anger.
She sat up quickly and put her feet on the floor. She stared straight into his eyes. “Seven years later? Not really,” she said coldly.
He narrowed his eyes at her, “Too fucking bad Veronica.”
She didn’t even flinch his anger didn’t phase her at all. “What do you want after all this time, Logan?”
He jumped up quickly and began pacing. “I want to see my child DAMMIT!” He screamed as his eyes welled up.
“Go home Logan. Go back to your wife,” she muttered.
He stalked over to her quickly, knelt down in front of her. Grasping her shoulders, he gave her a little shake. “I’m not married, you got that? I am not married now and never have been.” He growled and shoved back on the arms of her chair as he stood up, causing it to scoot back.
“Whatever,” she said dismissively. Veronica couldn’t let herself worry about Logan’s love life.
“I want to see my child,” he repeated quietly.
“So, you think that after seven years of absence that you deserve to see her?” Veronica stood up and tried to walk by him but he caught her arm and spun her around quickly.
The feeling of her skin underneath his fingertips was like coming home. He felt his heart melt.
“Please…please,” he begged as he let go of her arm and hung his head.
“What‘s changed, Logan? You didn‘t want to see Claire when she was born.” Veronica could feel herself breaking.
“If I had known…” he began but she cut him off quickly.
“You did know Logan. You just chose to ignore it to party and fuck around.”
“I did not know! You never once picked up the phone and called me. I think that I would have remembered that,” he said angrily.
“How dare you! “ She hissed as she shoved him hard, walking past him into the bedroom.
He followed her closely. “Don’t you walk away from me Dammit. “ Logan tried to grab her arm but she jerked away.
Opening a drawer, she pulled out a small stack of papers and threw them at him.
“I fucking tried to contact you, asshole.” Veronica began crying and sat down on the bench at the end of the bed.
Logan looked at the paper on top, a registered mail receipt dated August 25, 2006. The next receipts were for November 12, 2006 and March 17, 2007. The last item was a letter, addressed to him. It was unopened and had ‘Denied…return to sender’ written on it. He recognized the handwriting. Jacqueline had written it.
He opened the envelope slowly. His hands were shaking. He pulled out the letter and opened it carefully. There were several pictures of Claire at her first birthday party. Logan smiled as he looked at his baby girl. She smiled as she hugged a furry white puppy with a pink ribbon tied around its neck.
“You bought her a puppy? “ Logan smiled, sniffing back tears, as he touched the picture.
“Duncan did.” Veronica whispered. Logan felt the stab of jealousy down to his soul. Duncan had been there. He had witnessed this magnificent creature’s first six and a half years and Logan had missed it all.
He looked through all the pictures, taking in every detail of her precious face. The last picture was of Keith holding Claire. She had her forehead pressed to his and her tiny baby hands were on his cheeks. They looked at each other smiling. Logan felt the tears begin falling. His baby had lost her beloved grandfather.
“Veronica, I’m so sorry about your dad.” Logan said through tears. He continued to look at those precious moments captured on film.
“It was stress.” Veronica said as tears continued to flow. “All the stress,” she whispered, lost in her memories.
Logan looked at the letter now.
Logan,
I wanted to send you a few pictures of Claire. She turned one yesterday. She’s so beautiful Logan. You don’t realize what you are missing.
Sincerely,
Veronica
‘I know now,’ he thought sadly. He looked at the picture of Claire and Keith again.
“I never received any of these Veronica, I swear on my mother’s grave,” he said sadly.
She looked up at him with a puzzled expression. “They were signed for Logan.”
“Not by me. “ He knelt in front of her quickly. “I think Jacqueline hid the letters or destroyed them.” His eyes pleaded with her to believe him. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t have gone away, shouldn’t have been willing to get involved with someone just because he was lonely.
“Why would she do that?” Veronica wiped her tears away.
“Why do you think? She knows that I would have been on the first plane to Neptune,” he said with conviction.
“Really? “ She asked, still wiping tears.
He reached up and cupped her face in his hands. Gently he rubbed the pads of his thumbs along her cheeks.
“Really,” he whispered. Veronica fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck. They both began crying. They had both lost so much time, so many memories because of someone else.
“Can I see her?” He barely choked out.
Veronica pulled back suddenly, looking at him with a horrified expression. “There are things you don’t know Logan,” she whispered.
“You have to tell me Veronica.” Logan looked frightened as well. He didn’t want her to close him off again. She had opened up a little. He was making progress.
Veronica began sobbing again. Logan wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. He never wanted to let her go. She buried her face against his neck. He could feel her hot tears on his skin.
“She’s sick Logan,” she whispered, gasping for breath.
“What?” He pulled her back and searched her face for answers.
“She’s sick…really sick” Veronica could barely talk.
Logan heard someone walk up behind them. He looked up and saw Duncan standing in the doorway, staring at them.
Duncan walked over and bent down. He scooped Veronica up in his arms and carried her into the bathroom.
Logan watched as Duncan sat Veronica on the counter and wiped her eyes with a tissue. He brushed her hair back gently and looked into her eyes.
“It’s OK,” he whispered.
Then he opened the medicine cabinet and handed her a prescription bottle. “Did you remember?” He asked softly.
She shook her head as he handed her a glass of water and opened the bottle for her. She downed the pill with a sip of water and handed the glass back to him.
Logan was twisting inside watching their familiarity. It was obvious that they had been together for a long time.
He stood up quickly. Logan couldn’t wait any longer to find out about his child. He sure as hell couldn’t watch them anymore. It was killing him.
“Veronica?” Logan’s voice faltered with emotion.
She scooted off the counter and walked back to Logan. She closed her eyes, as if gathering her words. She opened them slowly and Logan could feel all the pain reflected in her eyes.
“Claire was born with only one kidney Logan.” She breathed out a shaky breath. “Her kidney wasn’t formed properly. It isn’t functioning at all now.”
Logan had to sit down on the bench. He felt as though he was going to pass out. He leaned over and put his head between his knees to offset the feeling.
“Oh God,” he cried.
Veronica knelt down and he looked up at her. “Is she dying? “ He was terrified of the answer but he needed to know.
“She’s been on dialysis for awhile now, but she keeps getting sick.” Veronica looked so stricken. “She needs a transplant or she’ll die.’ Veronica stated sadly, as a sob erupted from Logan’s throat.
“That’s why I wanted to speak to Trina. I wanted her to be tested to see if she’s a match. Would you get tested as well?”
“Yes,” he sobbed. “You don’t even need to ask.”
“Duncan has spent millions on treatments for her,” she looked up at Duncan with sad eyes. “He’s flown us to every specialist there is, there‘s no other option. She will do better if the donor is a blood relative. I didn’t match and neither did dad. The stress of watching Claire suffer is what killed him. I know it is. “Her throat closed up and she began to cry.
Duncan spoke up, “Claire’s on the organ transplant registry but…we’re running out of time Logan.”
“Let’s go now! I’ll call Trina, we’ll go now!” Logan wiped his eyes quickly and grabbed Veronica’s hand, squeezing it gently. “This is going to work, don’t worry. I know in my heart that I’ll match,” he whispered.
Author: Firefly2000
Pairing: D/V, L/V
Word count: 2418
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Life seven years after graduation.
Spoilers: Season one
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Logan sat down in the car and began crying so hard that Trina was speechless. She reached over and placed her hand on his knee.
“She’s so beautiful,” he sobbed.
“Yeah, she really is,” Trina confirmed. She was at a loss as to how to sooth him. She wasn’t used to seeing Logan show his emotions.
He looked at her suddenly. “Do you have Veronica’s number?”
“Yes, it‘s right here.” She dug in her purse and pulled out a business card.
Logan took the card, looking at it as he wiped his eyes. “She’s a photographer?” he asked reading the card.
“Yeah, she does weddings and all the big social events in the area.”
Logan nodded as he rubbed his finger over the raised lettering of her name. He whispered. ‘Veronica Mars.’ At least she isn’t married, he thought. Then his anger at her began to take over. She had kept his child from him. She had never even sought him out.
I deserved to know, he thought.
“Are you going to call her?” Trina watched as Logan looked at the card intently, as he tightly clenched his jaw.
He didn’t answer. He just looked intently out the window and began to cry again.
“Do you want me to call her? Set up a meeting?” Trina offered.
“Please,” he choked out handing the card back without looking at her.
Trina dialed the number. Veronica answered on the third ring. She sounded upset. Duncan must have called her, Trina mused.
“Uh…Veronica?” Trina hesitated, hearing Logan’s breath hitch she looked over at him. He looked so defeated. It was so unlike him to let things get him down. She was beginning to worry.
“Hi, Trina”
“Am I calling at a bad time?” Trina really didn’t want to bother Veronica, but Logan’s world was falling apart.
“I think you know the answer to that. I’m sure he’s with you,” Veronica said harshly.
“Yeah, uh…he wants to meet you somewhere to talk.” Trina stammered as she watched Logan stiffen in anticipation of Veronica’s answer.
“Fine, he can meet me at my house. I don’t want to get into a screaming match with him in public. I’ll meet him there in an hour.” She gave Trina the address, and then hung up.
Trina handed Logan the business card with Veronica’s address on it. “She will meet you there in an hour. Duncan called her. She doesn’t seem too thrilled about this.”
“Well, she will just have to get over it! Now won‘t she?” He spit out hatefully.
“May I remind you Logan that, YOU are the one who left…NOT her?” Trina was losing her patience with him.
He glared at her. “She never once tried to contact me about Claire.” His voice was icy.
Trina smiled, in spite of his tone. “Claire, is that her name?”
“Yeah,” Logan breathed. He thought about the picture of her, a little smile playing on his lips for a second.
“Did you ever stop to consider that maybe she did search for you and couldn’t find you?”
“She knew where I was. At least Duncan did. He admitted it to me.”
“Oh,” was all Trina could think to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Arriving at their old home, Logan grabbed the keys to one of the many cars still sitting in the garage. He drove along the streets of Neptune, slowly moving closer to the address that Veronica had given to Trina. He pulled in front of her house and stared at it for a few minutes. It was in a very upscale middle-class neighborhood.
“So, this is where my child lives…the place she calls home,” he said softly.
He opened the car door and slowly stepped out. There was a white minivan in the driveway. He assumed it belonged to Veronica and that she was home.
Logan raised his hand to knock but the door opened suddenly. Veronica stared at him for a moment, then stepped back so that he could enter.
Logan walked in slowly, trying to take in everything about the house. It wasn’t huge, but it certainly wasn’t as tiny as her apartment had been.
There were pictures all over the walls. Everywhere he looked, there were pictures of Claire. He suddenly felt uncomfortable. Like a stranger, rather than the person who had loved her forever.
She wordlessly directed him into the living room. It was colorful, filled with clues that a small child lived there. Barbie dolls covered the coffee table, some half-dressed. One looked as though its head had been shaven. He smiled a little, trying to picture Claire playing with her dolls.
“Have a seat Logan,” Veronica said suddenly. He jumped a little at the sound of her voice. It sent shivers down his spine. He had forgotten the effect that the sound of her voice had on him.
“I’d rather stand,” his voice faltered. He fidgeted nervously with the zipper of his jacket.
Veronica sat down and curled her legs underneath her. She had yet to make eye contact with him but he was looking directly at her. Logan tried to read every move, every flinch in her expression.
“Why are you here?” She finally met his eyes. Suddenly, he needed to sit. If he didn’t, he was going to fall down. Her cold look was enough to bring him to his knees.
“Trina called me. She said that she saw you.” Logan didn’t know what else to say. He was mad. Despite the coldness in her eyes as she warily regarded him, he really didn’t want to get into an argument with her.
Veronica laughed humorlessly. “Remind me to send her a thank you note.” she snarked.
“So, you don’t want me here?” Logan‘s voice grew bitter with anger.
She sat up quickly and put her feet on the floor. She stared straight into his eyes. “Seven years later? Not really,” she said coldly.
He narrowed his eyes at her, “Too fucking bad Veronica.”
She didn’t even flinch his anger didn’t phase her at all. “What do you want after all this time, Logan?”
He jumped up quickly and began pacing. “I want to see my child DAMMIT!” He screamed as his eyes welled up.
“Go home Logan. Go back to your wife,” she muttered.
He stalked over to her quickly, knelt down in front of her. Grasping her shoulders, he gave her a little shake. “I’m not married, you got that? I am not married now and never have been.” He growled and shoved back on the arms of her chair as he stood up, causing it to scoot back.
“Whatever,” she said dismissively. Veronica couldn’t let herself worry about Logan’s love life.
“I want to see my child,” he repeated quietly.
“So, you think that after seven years of absence that you deserve to see her?” Veronica stood up and tried to walk by him but he caught her arm and spun her around quickly.
The feeling of her skin underneath his fingertips was like coming home. He felt his heart melt.
“Please…please,” he begged as he let go of her arm and hung his head.
“What‘s changed, Logan? You didn‘t want to see Claire when she was born.” Veronica could feel herself breaking.
“If I had known…” he began but she cut him off quickly.
“You did know Logan. You just chose to ignore it to party and fuck around.”
“I did not know! You never once picked up the phone and called me. I think that I would have remembered that,” he said angrily.
“How dare you! “ She hissed as she shoved him hard, walking past him into the bedroom.
He followed her closely. “Don’t you walk away from me Dammit. “ Logan tried to grab her arm but she jerked away.
Opening a drawer, she pulled out a small stack of papers and threw them at him.
“I fucking tried to contact you, asshole.” Veronica began crying and sat down on the bench at the end of the bed.
Logan looked at the paper on top, a registered mail receipt dated August 25, 2006. The next receipts were for November 12, 2006 and March 17, 2007. The last item was a letter, addressed to him. It was unopened and had ‘Denied…return to sender’ written on it. He recognized the handwriting. Jacqueline had written it.
He opened the envelope slowly. His hands were shaking. He pulled out the letter and opened it carefully. There were several pictures of Claire at her first birthday party. Logan smiled as he looked at his baby girl. She smiled as she hugged a furry white puppy with a pink ribbon tied around its neck.
“You bought her a puppy? “ Logan smiled, sniffing back tears, as he touched the picture.
“Duncan did.” Veronica whispered. Logan felt the stab of jealousy down to his soul. Duncan had been there. He had witnessed this magnificent creature’s first six and a half years and Logan had missed it all.
He looked through all the pictures, taking in every detail of her precious face. The last picture was of Keith holding Claire. She had her forehead pressed to his and her tiny baby hands were on his cheeks. They looked at each other smiling. Logan felt the tears begin falling. His baby had lost her beloved grandfather.
“Veronica, I’m so sorry about your dad.” Logan said through tears. He continued to look at those precious moments captured on film.
“It was stress.” Veronica said as tears continued to flow. “All the stress,” she whispered, lost in her memories.
Logan looked at the letter now.
Logan,
I wanted to send you a few pictures of Claire. She turned one yesterday. She’s so beautiful Logan. You don’t realize what you are missing.
Sincerely,
Veronica
‘I know now,’ he thought sadly. He looked at the picture of Claire and Keith again.
“I never received any of these Veronica, I swear on my mother’s grave,” he said sadly.
She looked up at him with a puzzled expression. “They were signed for Logan.”
“Not by me. “ He knelt in front of her quickly. “I think Jacqueline hid the letters or destroyed them.” His eyes pleaded with her to believe him. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t have gone away, shouldn’t have been willing to get involved with someone just because he was lonely.
“Why would she do that?” Veronica wiped her tears away.
“Why do you think? She knows that I would have been on the first plane to Neptune,” he said with conviction.
“Really? “ She asked, still wiping tears.
He reached up and cupped her face in his hands. Gently he rubbed the pads of his thumbs along her cheeks.
“Really,” he whispered. Veronica fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck. They both began crying. They had both lost so much time, so many memories because of someone else.
“Can I see her?” He barely choked out.
Veronica pulled back suddenly, looking at him with a horrified expression. “There are things you don’t know Logan,” she whispered.
“You have to tell me Veronica.” Logan looked frightened as well. He didn’t want her to close him off again. She had opened up a little. He was making progress.
Veronica began sobbing again. Logan wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. He never wanted to let her go. She buried her face against his neck. He could feel her hot tears on his skin.
“She’s sick Logan,” she whispered, gasping for breath.
“What?” He pulled her back and searched her face for answers.
“She’s sick…really sick” Veronica could barely talk.
Logan heard someone walk up behind them. He looked up and saw Duncan standing in the doorway, staring at them.
Duncan walked over and bent down. He scooped Veronica up in his arms and carried her into the bathroom.
Logan watched as Duncan sat Veronica on the counter and wiped her eyes with a tissue. He brushed her hair back gently and looked into her eyes.
“It’s OK,” he whispered.
Then he opened the medicine cabinet and handed her a prescription bottle. “Did you remember?” He asked softly.
She shook her head as he handed her a glass of water and opened the bottle for her. She downed the pill with a sip of water and handed the glass back to him.
Logan was twisting inside watching their familiarity. It was obvious that they had been together for a long time.
He stood up quickly. Logan couldn’t wait any longer to find out about his child. He sure as hell couldn’t watch them anymore. It was killing him.
“Veronica?” Logan’s voice faltered with emotion.
She scooted off the counter and walked back to Logan. She closed her eyes, as if gathering her words. She opened them slowly and Logan could feel all the pain reflected in her eyes.
“Claire was born with only one kidney Logan.” She breathed out a shaky breath. “Her kidney wasn’t formed properly. It isn’t functioning at all now.”
Logan had to sit down on the bench. He felt as though he was going to pass out. He leaned over and put his head between his knees to offset the feeling.
“Oh God,” he cried.
Veronica knelt down and he looked up at her. “Is she dying? “ He was terrified of the answer but he needed to know.
“She’s been on dialysis for awhile now, but she keeps getting sick.” Veronica looked so stricken. “She needs a transplant or she’ll die.’ Veronica stated sadly, as a sob erupted from Logan’s throat.
“That’s why I wanted to speak to Trina. I wanted her to be tested to see if she’s a match. Would you get tested as well?”
“Yes,” he sobbed. “You don’t even need to ask.”
“Duncan has spent millions on treatments for her,” she looked up at Duncan with sad eyes. “He’s flown us to every specialist there is, there‘s no other option. She will do better if the donor is a blood relative. I didn’t match and neither did dad. The stress of watching Claire suffer is what killed him. I know it is. “Her throat closed up and she began to cry.
Duncan spoke up, “Claire’s on the organ transplant registry but…we’re running out of time Logan.”
“Let’s go now! I’ll call Trina, we’ll go now!” Logan wiped his eyes quickly and grabbed Veronica’s hand, squeezing it gently. “This is going to work, don’t worry. I know in my heart that I’ll match,” he whispered.