Is Edward Cullen an abuser?

[firehearts132]

I used to be a Twilight fan, but then gradually grew bored of it; besides, to be honest I was mostly a fan because it had vampires in it. Anyways, Edward Cullen is a stalker---there's no arguing against that; he watched Bella sleep before he was even in a relationship with her, and followed her around places. When he stalked her once, he was able

Comments

[philstar22]

The things that make me think he is abusive are his taking the engine out of her car so she couldn't visit her male friend and his watching her from her window while she was asleep (which in real life would be a crime). I never read beyond the first couple book because I was so disgusted with those two things being portrayed as okay, so I couldn't tell you what is pointed to in later books.

Jacob is just as bad, though, because he does force himself on Bella.

And for the record, I think controlling can be, and is in the case of Edward, abusive. Some of the signs of abusers involve them taking control of the lives of their victims- telling them who they can see, telling them what to do, controlling their lives so as to cut off their contact with everyone else. And while Edward never goes that far, he does show signs of an abusive personality, at least to me.

[philstar22]

The thing is, Edward certainly doesn't cross the line into full on physical abuse. But he shows signs of an abusive personality, and he acts in ways that abusers do. And what makes it worse is that Meyers thinks all these things are healthy and portrays them as if they were romantic.

And really, that is what gets me with Twilight. I worry about all the teenage girl fans who read this and think that Edward/Bella is how relationships should be. And considering that abuse in teen relationships is on the rise, that is a truly scary thing.

[firehearts132]

Oh yes, those actions are abusive. I just thought that for the relationship to truly be abusive, he'd need to be making her afraid to leave the relationship. Then again, I guess Edward is already an abuser and that he will gradually grow that bad anyways.

Ironically, I am a teenager girl. I'm not an Edward/Bella fan though. I think I was, at some point, but that was because I didn't really think about Edward/Bella's relatioinship too much. All I really cared about then was the whole vampire aspect of Twilight.

Now, though, I can't be a fan of the relationship because Edward isn't just controlling, but is also a stalker. Perhaps if the stalking and controlling actions were actually portrayed to be negative things it wouldn't be a problem, but so many people mistake those actions as evidence of Edward's love for Bella. So I can understand your concern about it---Twilight can cause people to think that the things Edward does are okay, although I hope most people are able to tell fantasy from reality.

[chameleon_irony]

You've talked about Edward and Jacob, neither of whom respect Bella and her ability to make her own choices (though admittedly, she does make some really bad ones), but why doesn't anyone mention that Alice does the same? Alice's idea of being a "best friend" is forcing Bella to do things she hates - shopping, treating her like a doll, etc., things that aren't really serious but it's clear how much Bella hates them. Twilight offers not only a screwed up portrayal of romantic relationships, but of friendship too. But that doesn't bother anyone because Alice is a girl... Lovely double standard we've got there.

[firehearts132]

Yeah, that's a good point. Alice can be really manipulative and controlling. She should back off. It's kind of creepy how she treats Bella like a doll. And I agree that people can sometimes focus too much on the male characters' flaws; they're quick to notice when male characters are mistreating female ones, but female characters get away with a lot of things, including abusive actions.

[ladyhadhafang]

Very interesting thoughts. :)

And yes, Edward did take the engine out of her car, but I think, ultimately? A lot of his actions are kind of good intentions gone astray, the way I see it. Unfortunately, it's very rare that in text they're acknowledged as such.

And yes, Jacob's just as bad. In fact, I think I remember one bit on TV Tropes suggesting that some die-hard Jacob/Bella shippers paint Edward this way as a bit of a Die For Our Ship thing. I personally don't believe it, though.

((Sorry if it doesn't make sense, BTW; I've kind of...spent the last hours or so crying. It's taking me a while to recover))

[firehearts132]

I think Edward has good intentions too. And I don't really see him as jealous or possessive either...again, that sounds more like Jacob to me. He was constantly saying bad things about Edward, calling him things like "bloodsucker."

I can see that. It's very common for people to make characters abusive to make their favorite couple look better. In fact, Jacob/Bella fans have accused Stephenie Meyer of making Jacob look bad to elevate Edward/Bella.

Sorry. :( I hope you feel better soon.

[ladyhadhafang]

Yeah. To be fair, Edward wasn't necessarily innocent either (calling Jacob a "dog" and such), but even so...I think they're both -- not good for Bella, really. *Sighs* And yeah, people can do all sorts of crazy stuff regarding...making their OTPs look better. *Cough* The HARRY POTTER fandom *Cough* *Cough* The ATLA Fandom *Cough*

Thanks. :) *Sighs* Let's say that today...really would be better if it was just stricken from the record. Stress, sleep deprivation...all around really not fun. :(

[firehearts132]

Yeah...neither of them are very good love interests. Jacob was actually okay in Twilight and New Moon, but then he kissed Bella against her will in Eclipse. :(

Don't forget the Star Wars fandom. ;) It's so bad that even Padme was called potentially abusive by some Anakin/Obi Wan fans before. O_O

Your welcome. :) I know how you feel. I am often sleep deprived, and even when I try falling asleep I have a hard time doing it.

[lazypadawan]

What bugs me is how manipulative the relationships are in the series, and I'm only basing my opinions on the movies. Bella living only for a life with the undead for reasons never clear to me is pretty disturbing as well. If you saw real consequences to their actions, I could accept it. But there are no consequences.

The difference is I watch the movies and laugh and go on with life. But I don't worry as much about young and naive girls finding the idea of a guy watching them while they sleep romantic as the idea true love justifies EVERYTHING, including lying and sneaking around. At least in Star Wars, you see where that kind of thinking leads.

[firehearts132]

I see what you mean. There is indeed a lot manipulation in the relationships. Even Bella has a manipulative streak; she used Jacob as her emotional crutch while Edward was gone.

That's a good point. In Star Wars, there are consequences for Anakin and Padme. Their love is actually forbidden, and there would be consequences if it was revealed. With Edward/Bella however, it's difficult to see it as forbidden because they don't have to sacrifice anything and have a happily ever after.

[lazypadawan]

From what I understand, the Volturi and aren't crazy about Bella and don't like vampires mixing it up with their meals. The really bad vampires didn't want her around either. The werewolf guys wanted Bella to stay away from the vampires. I guess that lends some sense of the "forbidden" but even so, somebody's always able to protect Bella or buy her time. It's not as though Bella and Edward are a secret to anyone either.

In Star Wars, the threat of scandal and Anakin being forced to leave the order isolates the couple so that Anakin believes he and he alone can save the Mrs.. True love to him justifies everything and because he cannot live without it nor can he live with the idea of failing someone he loved a second time, he commits himself to evil. Bad things happen. Despite Bella's many injuries and occasionally getting grounded, everything works out for her and ultimately she gets what she wants.