How to Snag a Date
Title: How to Snag a Date
Pairing: Sehun/Tao, Luhan/Xiumin, Baekhyun/Chanyeol, mentions of Kris/Lay, Suho/Chen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,118
Summary: Determined to not be the odd one out on yet another group date, Sehun drags the first good-looking guy he sees along with him to be his date.
You would think that in such a big campus, it would be relatively easy to find yourself a partner but no, not in Sehun's life it isn't. What's worse is that all his friends are pretty much attached to each other and so he is subjected to seeing five different couples suck each other's faces off during every interval of his day.
And therefore his life suck balls. Balls that he isn't getting enough.
It's a Tuesday morning, which means that he is going to spend the next two hours of his day not paying attention to his Social Issues elective class and devising ways to leave the classroom. Apparently his teacher no longer buys his 'severe intestinal problems' excuse.
He is about to close his eyes and pray for salvation when he hears familiar voices calling out 'hey Sehun'. He groans because he can already anticipate what's next.
"Hey baby," Luhan grins, dropping to the seat in front of Sehun and tugging a dishevelled Minseok to the seat beside him. Anyone else would have thought that it's just Minseok with bed hair - but Sehun knows better. He mentally dry heaves because his mind is involuntarily flashing images of the one time he walked into Minseok going down on Luhan, with Luhan's fingers threaded through his hair.
"Did you miss me?"
"No," Sehun deadpans, "In fact, I haven't at all. Not one bit."
Luhan pouts. He should stop doing that because it brings out the wrinkles near his eyes and it is not a flattering look on him. Sehun tells him as much and in return, he receives a violent kick on the shin.
"Ow, you motherfucker!" Sehun rubs at the sore spot on his calf and glares at his perpetrator. Said perpetrator shrugs while his boyfriend chortles.
Both of them are obviously too old for this class but nope, here they are retaking this class for the second time because they were too busy flirting with each other the first time. The teacher had actually sent them for detention with 'disruption of class with excessive display of affection' written as the reason.
Luhan had the detention slip framed, and it is now hanging proudly in the couple's shared dorm. According to Luhan, and Sehun quotes, it is Luhan's 'greatest academic achievement'.
"You're just sour because you spent your weekend watching Pokemon," Luhan says, mindlessly playing with Minseok's hand while bed-head boy casually texts with his free hand.
"Pokemon is awesome," Sehun retorts because hell no, Pokemon is basically his religion and Lapras is his God. After three seconds of contemplation, he belatedly adds, "...and I am not sour."
"Aw, is Sehun being a sour puss again?" This time it isn't Luhan.
Jongin enters the classroom, fingers intertwined with Kyungsoo - his perpetually alarmed-looking boyfriend. He thinks he can hear a few girls swoon in the background.
"Shut the fuck up."
"It's okay, Sehun. You'll find someone soon," Minseok smiles encouragingly, finally looking up from his phone and completely missing out on the previous conversation.
"No hyung, that's not it."
Jongin throws his arm around Sehun's shoulder, completely oblivious Sehun's death glares and resistance. "Someday," he starts, "just someday, someone might look past your ugly face and like you for who you are."
"And then he might also look past your terrible personality and accepts you in fear of living alone."
It's Kyungsoo who speaks this time and the group burst out in fits of laughter, Minseok high-fiving Kyungsoo.
Sehun is about to withdraw his pencil and stab everyone in the eye when their teacher walks into the classroom, effectively halting any unruly activities and homicide plans.
His teacher stops by Luhan and Minseok's table midway, glances at the couple and lets out an audibly loud sigh. Both of them hadn't realised this because their eyes are currently closed and their mouths are too occupied with each other's to say anything else.
"So class-" He stops and scans the classroom. "Kyungsoo, you aren't even in this class."
Kyungsoo gives a uncommitted shrug.
He returns back to the dorm and the first thing he sees is Baekhyun and Chanyeol all over each other on the couch.
"Hi," Chanyeol cheerily waves at him while Baekhyun grunts out what Sehun supposes is a 'welcome back', lips attached to Chanyeol's exposed collarbone.
It is not fair how he has to be around five different couples every minute of his miserable existence. Junmyeon and Jongdae had been so disgustingly sweet earlier during lunch, he had wanted to strangle himself with a straw. They were so vanilla it was terrifying.
Of course, he had to bump into Kris and Yixing afterwards at the library. They were in a secluded corner at the top level of the library, hidden behind shelves of electrical engineering reference materials.
Sehun hadn't exactly seen Yixing. But he sees Kris behind a table and a pair of sneakers that definitely aren't Kris's under the table and he promptly goes "okay no, bye" and heads to another section.
"What the fuck happened to all the gay boys in this school?!" Sehun groans loudly throwing his bag at his roommate and his boyfriend, successfully stopping their make out session on the couch.
Baekhyun slides away from Chanyeol and now they're both decently sitting on the couch with a respectable distance. The shorter boy sighs, "Is this about the whole weekend-no-date-Pokemon-marathon shit?"
"What? No!--Who the hell told you that?"
"Luhan," The couple chorus. Did Sehun really have to ask?
"Look," Baekhyun says, "If you're feeling upset about having no one to hang out with during the weekends, how about we go on a group-"
"No."
"You haven't even let me finish!"
"You're proposing a group date," Sehun warily eyes Baekhyun and all his eyeliner, "and the answer is no."
Chanyeol frowns, "Why not?"
"Because the last time it happened, I was surrounded by ten friends fervently engaging in physical contact with each other while I sat there drinking my mojito." Sehun shivers at the unpleasant memory.
"Bring a date then," Chanyeol suggests.
"It's not that easy-"
"I guess it's the ugly face," Baekhyun mock whispers to Chanyeol, who is nodding in silent agreement.
"Okay you pieces of shits!" Sehun yells, throwing his hands in the air, "I am going to bring a date and you all can suck it."
Both of them are grinning and that fuels Sehun.
It has been three days and he hasn't found a date.
This is not working out, he thinks to himself. He needs a plan. He is not ugly and he can most definitely get himself a date.
Anyone will do.
No. He is not that desperate.
Anyone good-looking will do.
Yes. Anyone good-looking that walks out of the hostel at this moment will do.
And so he stands by the gate of the hostel, patiently waiting for someone to pass by. Ten minutes go by when someone steps out. He has blonde hair, multiple piercings and dark eyes that are surprisingly charming.
He'll do, Sehun thinks as he jumps out from his hidden spot and lands in front of the equally-tall dude. The guy screams, and his eyes comically widen at the sudden apparition in front of him. He stumbles back a bit and quietly curses in Chinese.
"Hi, I am Oh Sehun," he introduces mechanically and the other boy stares at him with an expression that can only be described as 'what the hell is going on'.
Undeterred, Sehun continues, "Would you like to go out with me?"
The blonde boy's expression remains the same and so Sehun repeats himself again, this time reducing his speed by half. "Will. you. go. out. with. me?"
The other boy's expression morphs from being 'what the hell is going on' to 'what the fuck'. He hasn't said a word and then Sehun suddenly realises: oh right, he must be Chinese.
Sehun coughs into his fist and says, "Ni hao."
It's awkwardly silent.
After a moment of hesitation, the boy cautiously responds with a quiet "ni hao…?"
Sehun smiles, finally getting a verbal reply from the confused boy. He exaggerated points to himself and says, "Sehun."
The other boy seems to get it and nods in understanding before replying, "Zitao."
Sehun mentally gives himself a fist bump because yeah, he's got game.
Sehun doesn't know how to speak mandarin and he mostly definitely doesn't know how to say 'will you go out with me' in mandarin either. So he settles for making lewd gestures involving his fist and tongue, pointing at both of them, holding his hands together, and then exaggeratedly smiling.
Zitao laughs hysterically, but nods nonetheless, as though the incomprehensible sign language has really gotten to him.
They spend their afternoon in a quaint cafe nearby communicating via Sehun's Google Translate application. He finds out that Zitao does wushu, likes pandas and has a Chinese roommate.
It's strange because Sehun finds himself quickly liking Zitao in the short span of three hours drinking coffee with him. Maybe it's the way Zitao looks at him attentively even as he is typing out his message on Google Translate. Maybe it's the way he laughs at Sehun's bad attempt at jokes.
Maybe also because he's fucking cute and that's always a good bonus.
Before they leave, Sehun asks him out again for dinner tomorrow with his group of friends. Zitao readily agrees and Sehun silently thank the angels above for blessing him with such fortune.
It's time.
Sehun hasn't felt this nervous since his last internship interview. Said interview went shitty because halfway through the interview, he had launched into a speech on how gay dolphins have human rights too and should be given the freedom of marriage. Needless to say, he didn't get the internship. He blames it on Jongin. Because in one way of another, it must be Jongin's fault because he is the spawn of satan. Sehun just knows that Jongin had something to do with it.
Right now, he and Zitao are silently walking to the indie bar down the street, hands firmly interlocked. Zitao's hair is styled today and he's wearing eyeliner. He looks better in eyeliner than Baekhyun does and Sehun reminds himself to taunt Baekhyun for it later.
The night is breezy, the streets are clear, Zitao's hand is warm and he has a small smile tugging on the ends of his lips and Sehun thinks that this night is perfect.
Sehun sees his group of friends at the back of the bar, and he ambles over to them. As though Zitao can sense his nerves, he squeezes Sehun's hand reassuringly. Sehun looks at him and the blonde merely flashes a fond smile.
"Hey guys," Sehun says over the music, "This is my date-"
"Tao?" Kris stands from his seat, thick brows raised in shock.
Sehun looks at Kris and then back at Zitao.
"Sehun," Kris asks, "What are you doing with my roommate?"
Everyone else at the table looks on with a fusion of amusement and curiosity.
"Your… What?!" Sehun screeches.
"Ge," Zitao starts, "I'm his date."
Sehun is about to agree when he realises that he can understand what Zitao is saying. Since when did he understand Chinese? His head snaps so fast it could have flew off his body. "YOU CAN SPEAK KOREAN."
Zitao grins sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck, "Yeah, a little."
"Then why did you pretend that you didn't?" A second later Sehun groans, "And I did all those stupid hand signs and those… UGH."
It would be ideal if a truck came rushing in now and knocked him dead. At least he can mope about his embarrassment in heaven, away from his friends and Zitao.
"It was cute," Zitao admits, "I liked it."
Sehun blinks hopefully at him, "Really?"
Jongdae cuts in at this point and shouts, "Run while you still can before Sehun tells you the entire episode plot for season five of Pokemon!"
Sehun is about to shut Jongdae up when Zitao replies, "Cool, I like Pokemon too."
Zitao is officially a gift from Heaven. Thank you, Sehun tilts his head up and silently whispers to the sky.
"Now can you two just sit your asses down so we can fuckin' eat?"
Sehun glares at Jongin's blatant rudeness but nonetheless leads Zitao to their seats, sharing a quick smile.
"Oh my god, Sehun is smiling," Yixing muses out loud, "I think his date broke him."
A/N: The first EXO fic I've written, which is also a fill from exopromptmeme. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Pairing: Sehun/Tao, Luhan/Xiumin, Baekhyun/Chanyeol, mentions of Kris/Lay, Suho/Chen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,118
Summary: Determined to not be the odd one out on yet another group date, Sehun drags the first good-looking guy he sees along with him to be his date.
You would think that in such a big campus, it would be relatively easy to find yourself a partner but no, not in Sehun's life it isn't. What's worse is that all his friends are pretty much attached to each other and so he is subjected to seeing five different couples suck each other's faces off during every interval of his day.
And therefore his life suck balls. Balls that he isn't getting enough.
It's a Tuesday morning, which means that he is going to spend the next two hours of his day not paying attention to his Social Issues elective class and devising ways to leave the classroom. Apparently his teacher no longer buys his 'severe intestinal problems' excuse.
He is about to close his eyes and pray for salvation when he hears familiar voices calling out 'hey Sehun'. He groans because he can already anticipate what's next.
"Hey baby," Luhan grins, dropping to the seat in front of Sehun and tugging a dishevelled Minseok to the seat beside him. Anyone else would have thought that it's just Minseok with bed hair - but Sehun knows better. He mentally dry heaves because his mind is involuntarily flashing images of the one time he walked into Minseok going down on Luhan, with Luhan's fingers threaded through his hair.
"Did you miss me?"
"No," Sehun deadpans, "In fact, I haven't at all. Not one bit."
Luhan pouts. He should stop doing that because it brings out the wrinkles near his eyes and it is not a flattering look on him. Sehun tells him as much and in return, he receives a violent kick on the shin.
"Ow, you motherfucker!" Sehun rubs at the sore spot on his calf and glares at his perpetrator. Said perpetrator shrugs while his boyfriend chortles.
Both of them are obviously too old for this class but nope, here they are retaking this class for the second time because they were too busy flirting with each other the first time. The teacher had actually sent them for detention with 'disruption of class with excessive display of affection' written as the reason.
Luhan had the detention slip framed, and it is now hanging proudly in the couple's shared dorm. According to Luhan, and Sehun quotes, it is Luhan's 'greatest academic achievement'.
"You're just sour because you spent your weekend watching Pokemon," Luhan says, mindlessly playing with Minseok's hand while bed-head boy casually texts with his free hand.
"Pokemon is awesome," Sehun retorts because hell no, Pokemon is basically his religion and Lapras is his God. After three seconds of contemplation, he belatedly adds, "...and I am not sour."
"Aw, is Sehun being a sour puss again?" This time it isn't Luhan.
Jongin enters the classroom, fingers intertwined with Kyungsoo - his perpetually alarmed-looking boyfriend. He thinks he can hear a few girls swoon in the background.
"Shut the fuck up."
"It's okay, Sehun. You'll find someone soon," Minseok smiles encouragingly, finally looking up from his phone and completely missing out on the previous conversation.
"No hyung, that's not it."
Jongin throws his arm around Sehun's shoulder, completely oblivious Sehun's death glares and resistance. "Someday," he starts, "just someday, someone might look past your ugly face and like you for who you are."
"And then he might also look past your terrible personality and accepts you in fear of living alone."
It's Kyungsoo who speaks this time and the group burst out in fits of laughter, Minseok high-fiving Kyungsoo.
Sehun is about to withdraw his pencil and stab everyone in the eye when their teacher walks into the classroom, effectively halting any unruly activities and homicide plans.
His teacher stops by Luhan and Minseok's table midway, glances at the couple and lets out an audibly loud sigh. Both of them hadn't realised this because their eyes are currently closed and their mouths are too occupied with each other's to say anything else.
"So class-" He stops and scans the classroom. "Kyungsoo, you aren't even in this class."
Kyungsoo gives a uncommitted shrug.
He returns back to the dorm and the first thing he sees is Baekhyun and Chanyeol all over each other on the couch.
"Hi," Chanyeol cheerily waves at him while Baekhyun grunts out what Sehun supposes is a 'welcome back', lips attached to Chanyeol's exposed collarbone.
It is not fair how he has to be around five different couples every minute of his miserable existence. Junmyeon and Jongdae had been so disgustingly sweet earlier during lunch, he had wanted to strangle himself with a straw. They were so vanilla it was terrifying.
Of course, he had to bump into Kris and Yixing afterwards at the library. They were in a secluded corner at the top level of the library, hidden behind shelves of electrical engineering reference materials.
Sehun hadn't exactly seen Yixing. But he sees Kris behind a table and a pair of sneakers that definitely aren't Kris's under the table and he promptly goes "okay no, bye" and heads to another section.
"What the fuck happened to all the gay boys in this school?!" Sehun groans loudly throwing his bag at his roommate and his boyfriend, successfully stopping their make out session on the couch.
Baekhyun slides away from Chanyeol and now they're both decently sitting on the couch with a respectable distance. The shorter boy sighs, "Is this about the whole weekend-no-date-Pokemon-marathon shit?"
"What? No!--Who the hell told you that?"
"Luhan," The couple chorus. Did Sehun really have to ask?
"Look," Baekhyun says, "If you're feeling upset about having no one to hang out with during the weekends, how about we go on a group-"
"No."
"You haven't even let me finish!"
"You're proposing a group date," Sehun warily eyes Baekhyun and all his eyeliner, "and the answer is no."
Chanyeol frowns, "Why not?"
"Because the last time it happened, I was surrounded by ten friends fervently engaging in physical contact with each other while I sat there drinking my mojito." Sehun shivers at the unpleasant memory.
"Bring a date then," Chanyeol suggests.
"It's not that easy-"
"I guess it's the ugly face," Baekhyun mock whispers to Chanyeol, who is nodding in silent agreement.
"Okay you pieces of shits!" Sehun yells, throwing his hands in the air, "I am going to bring a date and you all can suck it."
Both of them are grinning and that fuels Sehun.
It has been three days and he hasn't found a date.
This is not working out, he thinks to himself. He needs a plan. He is not ugly and he can most definitely get himself a date.
Anyone will do.
No. He is not that desperate.
Anyone good-looking will do.
Yes. Anyone good-looking that walks out of the hostel at this moment will do.
And so he stands by the gate of the hostel, patiently waiting for someone to pass by. Ten minutes go by when someone steps out. He has blonde hair, multiple piercings and dark eyes that are surprisingly charming.
He'll do, Sehun thinks as he jumps out from his hidden spot and lands in front of the equally-tall dude. The guy screams, and his eyes comically widen at the sudden apparition in front of him. He stumbles back a bit and quietly curses in Chinese.
"Hi, I am Oh Sehun," he introduces mechanically and the other boy stares at him with an expression that can only be described as 'what the hell is going on'.
Undeterred, Sehun continues, "Would you like to go out with me?"
The blonde boy's expression remains the same and so Sehun repeats himself again, this time reducing his speed by half. "Will. you. go. out. with. me?"
The other boy's expression morphs from being 'what the hell is going on' to 'what the fuck'. He hasn't said a word and then Sehun suddenly realises: oh right, he must be Chinese.
Sehun coughs into his fist and says, "Ni hao."
It's awkwardly silent.
After a moment of hesitation, the boy cautiously responds with a quiet "ni hao…?"
Sehun smiles, finally getting a verbal reply from the confused boy. He exaggerated points to himself and says, "Sehun."
The other boy seems to get it and nods in understanding before replying, "Zitao."
Sehun mentally gives himself a fist bump because yeah, he's got game.
Sehun doesn't know how to speak mandarin and he mostly definitely doesn't know how to say 'will you go out with me' in mandarin either. So he settles for making lewd gestures involving his fist and tongue, pointing at both of them, holding his hands together, and then exaggeratedly smiling.
Zitao laughs hysterically, but nods nonetheless, as though the incomprehensible sign language has really gotten to him.
They spend their afternoon in a quaint cafe nearby communicating via Sehun's Google Translate application. He finds out that Zitao does wushu, likes pandas and has a Chinese roommate.
It's strange because Sehun finds himself quickly liking Zitao in the short span of three hours drinking coffee with him. Maybe it's the way Zitao looks at him attentively even as he is typing out his message on Google Translate. Maybe it's the way he laughs at Sehun's bad attempt at jokes.
Maybe also because he's fucking cute and that's always a good bonus.
Before they leave, Sehun asks him out again for dinner tomorrow with his group of friends. Zitao readily agrees and Sehun silently thank the angels above for blessing him with such fortune.
It's time.
Sehun hasn't felt this nervous since his last internship interview. Said interview went shitty because halfway through the interview, he had launched into a speech on how gay dolphins have human rights too and should be given the freedom of marriage. Needless to say, he didn't get the internship. He blames it on Jongin. Because in one way of another, it must be Jongin's fault because he is the spawn of satan. Sehun just knows that Jongin had something to do with it.
Right now, he and Zitao are silently walking to the indie bar down the street, hands firmly interlocked. Zitao's hair is styled today and he's wearing eyeliner. He looks better in eyeliner than Baekhyun does and Sehun reminds himself to taunt Baekhyun for it later.
The night is breezy, the streets are clear, Zitao's hand is warm and he has a small smile tugging on the ends of his lips and Sehun thinks that this night is perfect.
Sehun sees his group of friends at the back of the bar, and he ambles over to them. As though Zitao can sense his nerves, he squeezes Sehun's hand reassuringly. Sehun looks at him and the blonde merely flashes a fond smile.
"Hey guys," Sehun says over the music, "This is my date-"
"Tao?" Kris stands from his seat, thick brows raised in shock.
Sehun looks at Kris and then back at Zitao.
"Sehun," Kris asks, "What are you doing with my roommate?"
Everyone else at the table looks on with a fusion of amusement and curiosity.
"Your… What?!" Sehun screeches.
"Ge," Zitao starts, "I'm his date."
Sehun is about to agree when he realises that he can understand what Zitao is saying. Since when did he understand Chinese? His head snaps so fast it could have flew off his body. "YOU CAN SPEAK KOREAN."
Zitao grins sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck, "Yeah, a little."
"Then why did you pretend that you didn't?" A second later Sehun groans, "And I did all those stupid hand signs and those… UGH."
It would be ideal if a truck came rushing in now and knocked him dead. At least he can mope about his embarrassment in heaven, away from his friends and Zitao.
"It was cute," Zitao admits, "I liked it."
Sehun blinks hopefully at him, "Really?"
Jongdae cuts in at this point and shouts, "Run while you still can before Sehun tells you the entire episode plot for season five of Pokemon!"
Sehun is about to shut Jongdae up when Zitao replies, "Cool, I like Pokemon too."
Zitao is officially a gift from Heaven. Thank you, Sehun tilts his head up and silently whispers to the sky.
"Now can you two just sit your asses down so we can fuckin' eat?"
Sehun glares at Jongin's blatant rudeness but nonetheless leads Zitao to their seats, sharing a quick smile.
"Oh my god, Sehun is smiling," Yixing muses out loud, "I think his date broke him."
A/N: The first EXO fic I've written, which is also a fill from exopromptmeme. I have no idea what I'm doing.