Comments | firinel: clean and complete

firinel

clean and complete

Jan 26, 2015 12:05

Sometimes, in relationships, particularly in their endings, you do not get closure. You are left with yourself, and you have to get whatever it is the best that you can on your own, and you move on.

I wrote this some time ago (I am bad with time, but about two years?), in a somewhat secretive corner, but I've decided to share it now.

I have been ( Read more... )

Comments 8

rysmiel January 26 2015, 20:25:51 UTC

I am sorry to hear that did not work out better, and I admire your reaction here.

*hugs* if you would deem them apt from me in this circumstance.

firinel January 27 2015, 06:20:41 UTC

I cannot think of a circumstance where hugs from you would not be apt; thank you.

misspadfoot January 27 2015, 05:45:31 UTC

I never comment on LJ anymore, but this hit me in the gut.

But I know how it has made me feel for her to not know. I know how I've second guessed myself.

I had been debating telling Jenn I wanted to get back together for a good six months before she was killed. There were nights were I was so close to saying I still loved her that I had to step away for a moment in order to be Just Friends when I came back. All I have done since she died is tell her how much I miss her and how fiercely I loved her in whispers when I'm alone and hope she can hear me.

This is the hardest lesson I've ever learned: Tell them. Tell them. Tell them.

firinel January 27 2015, 06:21:44 UTC

Profoundly, thank you. I cannot fathom how I'd feel if a similar thing happened. I wanted to let you know that because of your share, I contacted her. <3

misspadfoot January 28 2015, 03:46:45 UTC

I didn't realize at the time how much that comment came off as advising you to tell her. That wasn't my intent at all and I apologize if it came off that way. It was mostly just an echo of the things I keep beating myself up over, and what I've learned for my own future. I hope reaching out is a positive experience for you.

firinel January 28 2015, 07:30:31 UTC

I think, regardless of how she responds, or if she does at all, it at least addresses my own regret at not having told her, and any longer lasting ramifications that may be having. Anything more than that, isn't mine, so I'll have to let go of any specific potential outcome as I've no control over that.

But thank you. Ultimately I hope it is too.

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