THE OFFICE!!!
I did it! An in depth (sort of) review of The Office! With gratuitous Andy pics.
- Andy. Andy Andy Andy. I love how he channels Richard Simmons when he says that he wants washboard AAAAAAAAAABS for the first time Angela sees him naked. Now, this was a very quick TH, but probably my favorite. Why? Because Andy is the modicum of innocence:
Oh, Andy. How can Angela not have totally jumped his bones already? I will never understand that woman. Also, check out the monumental arching going on with the bushy beauts:
- Michael and Holly. Now, initially I enjoyed them. In Goodbye Toby I was awing just as much as the next person. But here? Michael’s flirting is totally not awkward, and he passes up one of the greatest “That’s what she said” chances in the universe. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? This seriously marred Michael/Holly. Well, that and the fact that fandom is all over it like an eight dollar whore. I feel like the show is forcing me to like Michael/Holly. Too much too soon for me. Especially since Holly makes Michael seem normal, which makes him boring, BECAUSE HE PASSED UP THE GREATEST THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE! ARRRRRGH! I like Holly though, because she’s basically a carbon copy of Michael with lady bits instead of man bits, and we all know how narcissistic Michael is, but… it’s a little too perfect for my liking. Sorry fandom, I disagree with you yet again. Michael/Holly is not the shiznit. If used in moderation, it’s mildly entertaining. When I am bombarded with it, I feel an incredibly painful toothache coming on. Also, they spent the whole episode being into each other and Holly keeps playing these little games instead of just telling him, and Michael’s playing the “friend” strategy, and during every single one of their scenes I sat there thinking, “GOOD LORD, PEOPLE! ONE OF YOU! SAY SOMETHING! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY! PLEASE!” So, methinks I won’t be missing Holly when she disappears. But I don’t hate her. I would never wish a yeast infection on her like some people I know, so I’ll try to enjoy her while she’s here, but I wish the Michael/Holly love story felt more organic instead of so annoyingly manufactured.
- Andy has to out-diet Oscar, because he’s beautifully competitive in the most annoying way possible. I LOVE YOU ANDY!!! I also love the fact that Oscar looks miserable to have to be stuck in the elevator with an overly braggy, delusional Andy.
- YOUNG STANLEY WAS HOT, OMG! Fight the power, baby. Fight the power. Oh, it must be pointed out that Stanley was really working it on those first three steps… and then he slowed down. That’s exactly how I climb stairs too. I could be Stanley’s stair buddy. I’m pretty sure he’d tell me to get lost though.
- Jim and Michael! You see? Do you see how much more interesting Michael is with people who aren’t Holly? He was back to his awkward, inappropriate and dysfunctional self. Question. Was he using maxi pads for his armpits? Because if he wasn’t, he should have been.
- Dwight hammering the apple into the vending machine made me laugh like a toothless madman.
- Holly and Oscar! You see? Do you see how much more interesting Holly is with people who aren’t Michael? And dude, this scene is exactly why I adore Oscar so hard. You never really know when he’s actually joking or if he’s just holding back immense spite that will rear its ugly head in the future. Or in a TH.
- Dwight’s goodbye to Pam was the most adorably insensitive goodbye that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. You know he loves her. He just didn’t know how to express it. So he made her make a fax.
- Hey Ang! …ela. Ella ella ella. Under my Angerella ella ella. Ay ay ay.
HEEEEEEEEEEE! I wonder if he would have gone on for the whole episode doing that if Angela hadn’t stopped him? Anyway, aside from the singing, I love this scene because it shows what a beautiful, blushing bride Andy is.
“Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding.” I’m pretty sure he’s channeling Richard Simmons here too. Or Clay Aiken. He’s planning the entire wedding. He wants to get married where his parents decided to not get divorced. Obviously this is the ultimate location to join two hands in holy matrimony. Oh, also, Andy running away excitedly to go plan for a wedding in Maine? The most adorable thing ever.
- DWIGHT/ANGELA BOOTY CALLS OMG OMG OMG! SO FREAKING HOT! HOLY CRAP! Now, I’m an Andy girl, definitely, and you’d think I’d be feeling bad for Andy, but… well, if The Office was Gossip Girl, then Dwight and Angela would be Chuck and Blair. And it’s so very delicious. And Andy is the oblivious boyfriend with all the right credentials but the wrong personality, and Angela keeps getting pulled back to the forbidden Dwight because of her undying passion for him that she is completely ashamed of. Oooooooh, I love it! And I love that the booty calls are always after she gets stressed out with Andy. And, yeah, I’ll feel bad for Andy, but the dude can bounce back. That’s what I love the most about him. But he was never in love with Angela, just the idea of her. So, he’ll be fine. And it’ll be a beautifully scary/painful/hilarious/awkward moment when he finds out what’s going on. Will this thing go all the way to the altar? Is Angela going to leave him standing up there all by his lonesome (well, he’ll be up there with his 15 best mans) while she’s off doing the nasty with Dwight in a church confessional? Dude, I can picture the season finale already. Who wants to bet that the we’re supposed to get an Andy/Angela wedding, but instead we get a quiet Jim/Pam wedding at the very end? I’M CALLING IT RIGHT NOW, BITCHES! Or else Jim and Pam will randomly decide to meet at a gas station in the rain and exchange their vows while filling up their cars.
- Okay, Michael and Pam (and Jim). In the beginning, Michael excludes Pam from the weigh-in, very insensitively implying that she was no longer part of the Dunder-Mifflin family. Now, this was partly him trying to reconcile with the fact that he’d be parted from Pam for 3 months, but it was also him being the bitter child, mad at his mom for leaving him to go do something without him, and he was quietly lashing out, trying to act like she was already gone. But when he looked out the window and saw that she was actually leaving, he RUNS out of his office and FALLS down the stairs trying to get to her before she leaves, and he’s so much the child that he’s actually written a goodbye poem for her to show her how much she actually does mean to him, but he forgot it, and he expects her to wait for him to go back and get it, and Jim and Pam are so much the parents in this scene, telling him it’s okay, she has to go, and they basically humor him, and Jim even puts his arm around Michael as Pam drives away and they both watch forlornly, waving, and it’s just unintentionally one of the sweetest scenes in Office history. I just love that reinforcement of Jim and Pam being the non-dysfunctional parents that Michael never had, and it’s scenes like this where I enjoy Jim and Pam. I know I’m down on them quite a bit, but I love their love for Michael.
- Jimbo, I actually liked you in this episode. Why can’t you be this likeable all the time? Seriously, his TH’s were excellent, particularly the one about falling in love with Ronnie.
- Pam being in the wrong class made me feel like not such a dork because I used to do that every single semester in college. And I was always too embarrassed to get up and go to the different class (probably because the first time I did that I got yelled at, same as Pam). Oh, Pam. We would have been awesome friends. But not if we had the same class together, because neither one of us would be able to find it.
- I &hearts Kelly.
- Oh, Jan’s still here? And she has feet.
- HOLLY REPRIMANDING ANGELA FOR YELLING AT THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED KEVIN, OMG!!!! I’m sorry fandom, but Holly/Kevin is so much better than Michael/Holly. SO MUCH! I love Kevin’s little, “Wait, back up.” Oh, Kevin. This was probably my biggest laugh of the episode. But then I felt bad for Holly, because she was so incredibly embarrassed, and Angela had to be all arrogant about it, and poor Kevin looked devastated because he thought Holly was being so nice to him because she wanted to do him. Oh. :’( Dwight, you awful prankster, you.
- Andy. You are killing me. KILLING ME! 4 non-refundable deposits, and Angela rejects all of them. ANDY, I WILL MARRY YOU ANYWHERE! ON TOP OF A MONSOON! IN THE EYE OF A HURRICANE! WHEREVER! All I care about is that we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.
- Andy spitting on the big muscley guy in the warehouse!!! Oh, I so wanted to see an Andy/Muscley Guy smackdown. It would have been glorious.
- Shotgun weddings are the #1 cause of death in this country. Tied with being scared to death. Also, Michael’s goatee looks awful. Blech.
- VINTAGE DOLLY PARTON! Here you come again. That’s what she said.
- RYAN EMAILED MICHAEL!!!!! OMG! MICHAEL PAID FOR RYAN! HE WANTS HIM! HE NEEDS HIM! HERE THEY COME AGAIN! THEY HAVE MATCHING GOATEES! MICHAEL HELPED RYAN MOVE! FIRE-D GUY! Ryan’s goatee? *shudder* So, so, so, so, so, so ugly. Never grow a goatee again, Ryan. It was horrifying. It looked like shoe polish. It probably was. Anyway, I love that Michael cannot take his eyes off Ryan through this whole scene, and he’s got this "I'm in love" smile on his face.
So adorable.
- OMG ANGRY ANDY! DO ME! DO ME NOW!!!! OMG OMG OMG! I love that Angela is so shocked by his passion over his need for the 5 days for his honeymoon. And Andy’s TH is pure heaven. I’ve missed Angry Andy so very, very much.
- Fact. I hated Ryan/Kelly when they were together. I wanted to shoot them both. So when Kelly rejected Ryan? I was fist pumping. FIST PUMPING, BABY!
Stay kickass Kelly. I love you so very much. Except for when you’re dating Ryan. Then I can’t stand you. Or him. So, stay apart. Make him miserable. Make Ryan realize that absolutely everyone except for Michael has abandoned him.
- Michael shaved his goatee because Ryan shaved his goatee. Dwight grew a goatee for Michael. He was monumentally hurt when he saw that Michael shaved his. Michael, must you keep breaking Dwight’s beautiful heart for that hussy ex-convict? :’(
- “Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them. Because they’re unfair. “ That’s pretty much my motto too.
- It’s official. When I get married, I’m going to make The Little Drummer Boy my wedding song. I like the classics. Also, I am naming my children Carl 1, Carl 2, Broccoli Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunch Box, Boner Champ, Pubey Lewis and the News, Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle, and Sandwich.
- The proposal. It was nice. Apparently gas stations are highly romantic. Of course, rain makes everything romantic, am I right?
- WET TUNA! SMILEY PANTS! I’ve missed you, Dwight/Andy.
- TOBY!!!! You are so depressingly hilarious. Oh. He was perfection. Poor guy.
So, this episode was pretty awesome. A few gripes here and there, but I adored it. This screencap pretty much encompasses my feelings:
It’s good to have you back, Office.
- Andy. Andy Andy Andy. I love how he channels Richard Simmons when he says that he wants washboard AAAAAAAAAABS for the first time Angela sees him naked. Now, this was a very quick TH, but probably my favorite. Why? Because Andy is the modicum of innocence:
Oh, Andy. How can Angela not have totally jumped his bones already? I will never understand that woman. Also, check out the monumental arching going on with the bushy beauts:
- Michael and Holly. Now, initially I enjoyed them. In Goodbye Toby I was awing just as much as the next person. But here? Michael’s flirting is totally not awkward, and he passes up one of the greatest “That’s what she said” chances in the universe. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? This seriously marred Michael/Holly. Well, that and the fact that fandom is all over it like an eight dollar whore. I feel like the show is forcing me to like Michael/Holly. Too much too soon for me. Especially since Holly makes Michael seem normal, which makes him boring, BECAUSE HE PASSED UP THE GREATEST THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE! ARRRRRGH! I like Holly though, because she’s basically a carbon copy of Michael with lady bits instead of man bits, and we all know how narcissistic Michael is, but… it’s a little too perfect for my liking. Sorry fandom, I disagree with you yet again. Michael/Holly is not the shiznit. If used in moderation, it’s mildly entertaining. When I am bombarded with it, I feel an incredibly painful toothache coming on. Also, they spent the whole episode being into each other and Holly keeps playing these little games instead of just telling him, and Michael’s playing the “friend” strategy, and during every single one of their scenes I sat there thinking, “GOOD LORD, PEOPLE! ONE OF YOU! SAY SOMETHING! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY! PLEASE!” So, methinks I won’t be missing Holly when she disappears. But I don’t hate her. I would never wish a yeast infection on her like some people I know, so I’ll try to enjoy her while she’s here, but I wish the Michael/Holly love story felt more organic instead of so annoyingly manufactured.
- Andy has to out-diet Oscar, because he’s beautifully competitive in the most annoying way possible. I LOVE YOU ANDY!!! I also love the fact that Oscar looks miserable to have to be stuck in the elevator with an overly braggy, delusional Andy.
- YOUNG STANLEY WAS HOT, OMG! Fight the power, baby. Fight the power. Oh, it must be pointed out that Stanley was really working it on those first three steps… and then he slowed down. That’s exactly how I climb stairs too. I could be Stanley’s stair buddy. I’m pretty sure he’d tell me to get lost though.
- Jim and Michael! You see? Do you see how much more interesting Michael is with people who aren’t Holly? He was back to his awkward, inappropriate and dysfunctional self. Question. Was he using maxi pads for his armpits? Because if he wasn’t, he should have been.
- Dwight hammering the apple into the vending machine made me laugh like a toothless madman.
- Holly and Oscar! You see? Do you see how much more interesting Holly is with people who aren’t Michael? And dude, this scene is exactly why I adore Oscar so hard. You never really know when he’s actually joking or if he’s just holding back immense spite that will rear its ugly head in the future. Or in a TH.
- Dwight’s goodbye to Pam was the most adorably insensitive goodbye that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. You know he loves her. He just didn’t know how to express it. So he made her make a fax.
- Hey Ang! …ela. Ella ella ella. Under my Angerella ella ella. Ay ay ay.
HEEEEEEEEEEE! I wonder if he would have gone on for the whole episode doing that if Angela hadn’t stopped him? Anyway, aside from the singing, I love this scene because it shows what a beautiful, blushing bride Andy is.
“Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding.” I’m pretty sure he’s channeling Richard Simmons here too. Or Clay Aiken. He’s planning the entire wedding. He wants to get married where his parents decided to not get divorced. Obviously this is the ultimate location to join two hands in holy matrimony. Oh, also, Andy running away excitedly to go plan for a wedding in Maine? The most adorable thing ever.
- DWIGHT/ANGELA BOOTY CALLS OMG OMG OMG! SO FREAKING HOT! HOLY CRAP! Now, I’m an Andy girl, definitely, and you’d think I’d be feeling bad for Andy, but… well, if The Office was Gossip Girl, then Dwight and Angela would be Chuck and Blair. And it’s so very delicious. And Andy is the oblivious boyfriend with all the right credentials but the wrong personality, and Angela keeps getting pulled back to the forbidden Dwight because of her undying passion for him that she is completely ashamed of. Oooooooh, I love it! And I love that the booty calls are always after she gets stressed out with Andy. And, yeah, I’ll feel bad for Andy, but the dude can bounce back. That’s what I love the most about him. But he was never in love with Angela, just the idea of her. So, he’ll be fine. And it’ll be a beautifully scary/painful/hilarious/awkward moment when he finds out what’s going on. Will this thing go all the way to the altar? Is Angela going to leave him standing up there all by his lonesome (well, he’ll be up there with his 15 best mans) while she’s off doing the nasty with Dwight in a church confessional? Dude, I can picture the season finale already. Who wants to bet that the we’re supposed to get an Andy/Angela wedding, but instead we get a quiet Jim/Pam wedding at the very end? I’M CALLING IT RIGHT NOW, BITCHES! Or else Jim and Pam will randomly decide to meet at a gas station in the rain and exchange their vows while filling up their cars.
- Okay, Michael and Pam (and Jim). In the beginning, Michael excludes Pam from the weigh-in, very insensitively implying that she was no longer part of the Dunder-Mifflin family. Now, this was partly him trying to reconcile with the fact that he’d be parted from Pam for 3 months, but it was also him being the bitter child, mad at his mom for leaving him to go do something without him, and he was quietly lashing out, trying to act like she was already gone. But when he looked out the window and saw that she was actually leaving, he RUNS out of his office and FALLS down the stairs trying to get to her before she leaves, and he’s so much the child that he’s actually written a goodbye poem for her to show her how much she actually does mean to him, but he forgot it, and he expects her to wait for him to go back and get it, and Jim and Pam are so much the parents in this scene, telling him it’s okay, she has to go, and they basically humor him, and Jim even puts his arm around Michael as Pam drives away and they both watch forlornly, waving, and it’s just unintentionally one of the sweetest scenes in Office history. I just love that reinforcement of Jim and Pam being the non-dysfunctional parents that Michael never had, and it’s scenes like this where I enjoy Jim and Pam. I know I’m down on them quite a bit, but I love their love for Michael.
- Jimbo, I actually liked you in this episode. Why can’t you be this likeable all the time? Seriously, his TH’s were excellent, particularly the one about falling in love with Ronnie.
- Pam being in the wrong class made me feel like not such a dork because I used to do that every single semester in college. And I was always too embarrassed to get up and go to the different class (probably because the first time I did that I got yelled at, same as Pam). Oh, Pam. We would have been awesome friends. But not if we had the same class together, because neither one of us would be able to find it.
- I &hearts Kelly.
- Oh, Jan’s still here? And she has feet.
- HOLLY REPRIMANDING ANGELA FOR YELLING AT THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED KEVIN, OMG!!!! I’m sorry fandom, but Holly/Kevin is so much better than Michael/Holly. SO MUCH! I love Kevin’s little, “Wait, back up.” Oh, Kevin. This was probably my biggest laugh of the episode. But then I felt bad for Holly, because she was so incredibly embarrassed, and Angela had to be all arrogant about it, and poor Kevin looked devastated because he thought Holly was being so nice to him because she wanted to do him. Oh. :’( Dwight, you awful prankster, you.
- Andy. You are killing me. KILLING ME! 4 non-refundable deposits, and Angela rejects all of them. ANDY, I WILL MARRY YOU ANYWHERE! ON TOP OF A MONSOON! IN THE EYE OF A HURRICANE! WHEREVER! All I care about is that we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.
- Andy spitting on the big muscley guy in the warehouse!!! Oh, I so wanted to see an Andy/Muscley Guy smackdown. It would have been glorious.
- Shotgun weddings are the #1 cause of death in this country. Tied with being scared to death. Also, Michael’s goatee looks awful. Blech.
- VINTAGE DOLLY PARTON! Here you come again. That’s what she said.
- RYAN EMAILED MICHAEL!!!!! OMG! MICHAEL PAID FOR RYAN! HE WANTS HIM! HE NEEDS HIM! HERE THEY COME AGAIN! THEY HAVE MATCHING GOATEES! MICHAEL HELPED RYAN MOVE! FIRE-D GUY! Ryan’s goatee? *shudder* So, so, so, so, so, so ugly. Never grow a goatee again, Ryan. It was horrifying. It looked like shoe polish. It probably was. Anyway, I love that Michael cannot take his eyes off Ryan through this whole scene, and he’s got this "I'm in love" smile on his face.
So adorable.
- OMG ANGRY ANDY! DO ME! DO ME NOW!!!! OMG OMG OMG! I love that Angela is so shocked by his passion over his need for the 5 days for his honeymoon. And Andy’s TH is pure heaven. I’ve missed Angry Andy so very, very much.
- Fact. I hated Ryan/Kelly when they were together. I wanted to shoot them both. So when Kelly rejected Ryan? I was fist pumping. FIST PUMPING, BABY!
Stay kickass Kelly. I love you so very much. Except for when you’re dating Ryan. Then I can’t stand you. Or him. So, stay apart. Make him miserable. Make Ryan realize that absolutely everyone except for Michael has abandoned him.
- Michael shaved his goatee because Ryan shaved his goatee. Dwight grew a goatee for Michael. He was monumentally hurt when he saw that Michael shaved his. Michael, must you keep breaking Dwight’s beautiful heart for that hussy ex-convict? :’(
- “Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them. Because they’re unfair. “ That’s pretty much my motto too.
- It’s official. When I get married, I’m going to make The Little Drummer Boy my wedding song. I like the classics. Also, I am naming my children Carl 1, Carl 2, Broccoli Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunch Box, Boner Champ, Pubey Lewis and the News, Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle, and Sandwich.
- The proposal. It was nice. Apparently gas stations are highly romantic. Of course, rain makes everything romantic, am I right?
- WET TUNA! SMILEY PANTS! I’ve missed you, Dwight/Andy.
- TOBY!!!! You are so depressingly hilarious. Oh. He was perfection. Poor guy.
So, this episode was pretty awesome. A few gripes here and there, but I adored it. This screencap pretty much encompasses my feelings:
It’s good to have you back, Office.