Man I love this Andy icon.
I think it will be awhile before I stop using this icon for every single post. I can't bring myself to un-default the naked-shouldered-Damian icon though. Anyway, me being lazy old me, I NEVER read any of the LJ news. I block it out like I do all the advertisements. So, naturally, I didn't know about LJ shutting down tomorrow for a server move, nor did I know about this "a la carte" icon business. The a la carte icons would make me very, very happy, because then I could just shell out 15 bucks or whatever it will cost for 30 userpics instead of having to buy a full account for more money where I use NONE of the features except the extra userpic space. So, hopefully, that will happen. But, since I will be without LJ for awhile, I decided it was time to do this meme that I've been wanting to do for ages, but real life keeps interrupting me every time I start it (and really, I should be doing my work, but I can do that tomorrow while there is no LJ, right?).
Taken from fandom_memes
In this meme, you put ten characters in a reality show and see what happens when they battle to win!
First, pick your reality show.
What's the premise? 10 contestants battle it out to become the next world class Donald Trump impersonator.
Who hosts it? Richard Simmons.
Who are the judges? Darrell Hammond, Donald Trump (natch), and Conan O'Brian (who decides to use a British accent, because all reality shows need a sassy British judge)
Now, pick your 10 contestants.
1) Andy Bernard (The Office)
2) Dennis Duffy (30 Rock)
3) Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
4) Liz Lemon (30 Rock)
5) Michael Scott (The Office)
6) Dennis Reynolds (It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia)
7) Dee Reynolds (IASIP, because she HAS to prove that she's better than Dennis)
8) Charlie Crews (Life)
9) Denny Crane (Boston Legal)
10) Alan Shore (Boston Legal, because Denny can't go anywhere without Alan)
Episode 1 - A Two Hour Premiere Episode
Choose three of your contestants and excerpt their introductions to us via the 'confessional.'
Andy Bernard:
Hello. [bursts into song] Hello hello! Don't know why you say goodbye I say helloooooOOOooooOOOoooooooooo. [giant grin, proud giggle] I am one Andrew Baines Bernard, future Donald Trump impersonator extraordinaire. Um... I'm engaged to a lovely little lady named Aaaangela. I guess you could call her my Ivana Trump. [sweet smile] I am ranked the number 5 paper salesman at the Scranton, PA office of Dunder-Mifflin. Numero 5. Out of 5. How am I going to win this competition? The same way I won my little muffin face, and, coincidentally, the same way I got admitted into the college that I attended that was none other than Cornell. [counts on fingers] Persistence, charm, and my exceptional a capella skills, which I acquired through singing in the Cornell a capella group Here Comes Treble when I attended college. That college? [long pause] Cornell. [smug grin]
Dennis Duffy:
Hey, I'm Dennis Duffy. Why should I win this competition? I've got this kickass leather jacket, for one thing. 2) I'm not gay like the rest of the contestants. 3) I sold a beeper to Donald Trump once. 4) I love pop tarts.
Dennis Reynolds:
[looks into camera with his best sexy look and husky voice] Hey ladies. Dennis Reynolds. Remember that name. [looks around] Is it hot in here? Maybe I should just... pop this shirt off. [pops his shirt off, flexes muscles and looks at self admiringly] Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. [points to pecks] This. This right here. This is why I'm going to win. Also, this [circle motions his face, accentuating his cheek bones].
Someone decides before the competition even begins that they're not into this after all and quits. Who is it and what's their goodbye-cruel-world speech?
Uther Pendragon:
I am king. Who the hell entered me into this idiotic competition? Have them executed, immediately.
The 9 remaining contestants move into their new "home." What's it like? What are the features? How's it decorated?
The contestants move into Donald's very first starter house (which was a 20 room mansion in the Hamptons). It has a pool and a tennis court. There's a picture of Donald Trump in every room.
There are three bedrooms with three beds each. How does the process of choosing rooms go? Who sleeps where?
Dude, this totally screws up my answer for the previous question. Let's say that all but three rooms are off limits. There, problem solved. Choosing rooms, well, Michael would push through everyone and run over to the rooms in order to be the first to choose, and Andy would follow him, complimenting his exceptional choice and beaming at the thought of being Michael's roomie. Charlie Crews finds them interesting, so he takes the last bed in their room. Dennis Duffy tries to room with Liz Lemon, but she kicks him out. Dennis and Dee Reynolds end up rooming with Liz (and Dennis keeps walking around with his shirt off). Alan Shore, Denny Crane, and Dennis Duffy take the last room. Alan and Denny chose it for its balcony.
There's still an elimination - that one person who it's obvious from the start is fooling themselves to think they even stood a chance. Who is it?
Dee Reynolds, naturally, because she always gets screwed over. During her goodbye confessional, she told the camera that her brother likes having sex with men. Big, hairy men. And she read out his phone number and his address.
Episode 2 - The First Challenge
The first challenge is something that everyone there ought to be good at already. What is it, and who's the best at it?
Fixing their hair into a heaping combover. Liz is the best, because she's the only one with enough hair to rival Donald Trump's combover.
Who's the one person who's just awful and horrible and ought to be sent home right now?
Michael Scott. He's trying to interfere in everything and getting on everyone's nerves. Although, some people are a little afraid of that Andy Bernard guy since he got angry during the combover challenge and busted his hairbrush against a wall.
Who's the fair-to-middling person who gets sent home instead in a terrible miscarriage of justice?
Liz Lemon.
What's their bitchy parting shot to the confessional camera?
Suck it, losers. I don't need this anyway. [Donald Trump voice] You're fired. See? [tears up a little] I could have been great, America. I could have been great. [sniff]
Episode 3 - Speaking of Bitchy...
Who's the arrogant, self-centered asswipe in the house and who is that asswipe rubbing the wrong way?
Dennis Reynolds. He's pretty much rubbing everyone the wrong way. Especially Alan Shore.
To everyone's chagrin, the asswipe wins the next challenge. What is it and how on earth does that contestant pull off a win?
Looking at themselves in the mirror for as long as possible. 3 hours after everyone had gotten tired of looking at themselves, Dennis was still smiling and winking at himself in the mirror.
A snippet from the confessional of one of the jealous contenders:
Andy Bernard:
I can't believe that douche is winning. I am SO good at looking into mirrors. I don't know what happened! I just... I think I had a crummy mirror. It was... heavier than all the others or something. And dusty.
Who does the worst in that challenge and goes home?
Alan Shore. He has too much self-loathing to look at himself for that long. :'(
Episode 4 - Party Time
The remaining six contestants go out to dinner. Who...
...dances on the table? Charlie Crews.
....kisses another contestant? Dennis Reynolds (in his drunken state he thought Andy was a woman)
...can't hold their liquor? Andy Bernard
...sits on the sidelines looking annoyed? Denny Crane, because he misses his Alan.
Surprise double elimination: One of the partiers gets thrown out for embarrassing the competition's good name. Who is it?
Dennis Reynolds. He refused to leave. He had to be dragged out by two burly security guards. One of them was really hairy and he was looking at Dennis with... lust.
Who else gets the ax this week?
Denny. Actually, Denny left. There weren't anymore women to seduce (Dee had been so easy that it was unusually unsatisfying) and he was longing to be with Alan again.
Episode 5 - Gettin' Down
With only four people left, things are roomier in the house, but you couldn't tell it to these two. Who's joined at the hips and steaming it up in the hot tub every night?
Charlie Crews and Andy Bernard (shut up, you knew I wouldn't be able to resist). Michael and Dennis Duffy watch them from the window.
How do the others feel about that?
Dennis: Dude, are they gay?
Michael: I don't know... I'll call Oscar and ask him.
Who has a personal crisis and is eliminated after turning in a lackluster performance because they're preoccupied with *gasp* real life?
Charlie Crews. Conspiracy development. Perfectly understandable.
Episode 6 - Three's Company
It's down to three. Which two gang up on the third, and why? What do they do?
Michael and Dennis gang up on Andy. Dennis calls a capella music and anyone who sings it gay. Michael just goes, "YEAH! GAY!" and Andy is terribly heartbroken and angry and defensive and lonely.
An excerpt from the confessional cam of that contestant crying into their Cheerios about being victimized:
Andy Bernard:
A capella is NOT gay. Very fine, upstanding gentlemen sing a capella, and if they happen to like doing other dudes, that's fine with me. Carl 2 and Pubey Lewis had a lovely ceremony a couple years ago. But that doesn't mean that everyone is gay! Like me, for instance. I'm engaged to my little tofu honey, and it's... she lets me kiss her on the forehead ALL THE TIME. Like, at least three times a week.
Does the victim survive the next elimination, breaking up the Dynamic Duo, or do they go home, pitting former friends against each other?
Sadly, Andy gets eliminated. He was too heartbroken to even kick anything.
Episode 7 - Grand Finale
How do the final two contestants feel about their chances to win?
Michael Scott:
I... I feel really good about this. My Donald Trump impression kills every time I call someone into my office and say, "You're fired." They, they don't laugh outwardly, but they're laughing on the inside, and everyone knows that the best laughs are the ones that are too powerful to be expressed with sound.
Dennis Duffy:
This competition is mine. No doubt. Michael's a cool dude and all, but he's got no chance. There are losers and there are winners. The Duffy men are winners. Survival of the fittest. I heard about it on Oprah. That woman knows what she's talking about.
What's the big shocker of the final competition?
They have to eat a 16 ounce Donald Trump steak in 60 seconds.
What's the factor that puts the winner over the top, or does the loser have a totally embarrassing moment that ruins their chances?
Michael spends the whole 60 seconds cutting his steak into tiny pieces. You can never be too careful when eating steak. Dennis, on the other hand, just picked it up and wolfed it down in about 3 bites.
Finally, announce the winner and tell them what they've won!
DENNIS DUFFY IS THE WINNER! [Dennis jumps up and is WOOing all over the stage] You are now the proud winner of a lifetime supply of Donald Trump steaks. Along with these delicious, juicy, tender Trump steaks available at all Sharper Image stores across the United States, you get to tour the nation impersonating Mr. Trump while selling these delicious, juicy, tender Trump steaks available at all Sharper Image stores across the United States. Congratulations.
Dennis:
WOOOOOOOOOO! BABABOOEY! YOU'RE FIRED! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Oh man, I had no idea that character would win. Even though I wrote it. But seriously, I watched it unfold with the rest of you.
Taken from fandom_memes
In this meme, you put ten characters in a reality show and see what happens when they battle to win!
First, pick your reality show.
What's the premise? 10 contestants battle it out to become the next world class Donald Trump impersonator.
Who hosts it? Richard Simmons.
Who are the judges? Darrell Hammond, Donald Trump (natch), and Conan O'Brian (who decides to use a British accent, because all reality shows need a sassy British judge)
Now, pick your 10 contestants.
1) Andy Bernard (The Office)
2) Dennis Duffy (30 Rock)
3) Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
4) Liz Lemon (30 Rock)
5) Michael Scott (The Office)
6) Dennis Reynolds (It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia)
7) Dee Reynolds (IASIP, because she HAS to prove that she's better than Dennis)
8) Charlie Crews (Life)
9) Denny Crane (Boston Legal)
10) Alan Shore (Boston Legal, because Denny can't go anywhere without Alan)
Episode 1 - A Two Hour Premiere Episode
Choose three of your contestants and excerpt their introductions to us via the 'confessional.'
Andy Bernard:
Hello. [bursts into song] Hello hello! Don't know why you say goodbye I say helloooooOOOooooOOOoooooooooo. [giant grin, proud giggle] I am one Andrew Baines Bernard, future Donald Trump impersonator extraordinaire. Um... I'm engaged to a lovely little lady named Aaaangela. I guess you could call her my Ivana Trump. [sweet smile] I am ranked the number 5 paper salesman at the Scranton, PA office of Dunder-Mifflin. Numero 5. Out of 5. How am I going to win this competition? The same way I won my little muffin face, and, coincidentally, the same way I got admitted into the college that I attended that was none other than Cornell. [counts on fingers] Persistence, charm, and my exceptional a capella skills, which I acquired through singing in the Cornell a capella group Here Comes Treble when I attended college. That college? [long pause] Cornell. [smug grin]
Dennis Duffy:
Hey, I'm Dennis Duffy. Why should I win this competition? I've got this kickass leather jacket, for one thing. 2) I'm not gay like the rest of the contestants. 3) I sold a beeper to Donald Trump once. 4) I love pop tarts.
Dennis Reynolds:
[looks into camera with his best sexy look and husky voice] Hey ladies. Dennis Reynolds. Remember that name. [looks around] Is it hot in here? Maybe I should just... pop this shirt off. [pops his shirt off, flexes muscles and looks at self admiringly] Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. [points to pecks] This. This right here. This is why I'm going to win. Also, this [circle motions his face, accentuating his cheek bones].
Someone decides before the competition even begins that they're not into this after all and quits. Who is it and what's their goodbye-cruel-world speech?
Uther Pendragon:
I am king. Who the hell entered me into this idiotic competition? Have them executed, immediately.
The 9 remaining contestants move into their new "home." What's it like? What are the features? How's it decorated?
The contestants move into Donald's very first starter house (which was a 20 room mansion in the Hamptons). It has a pool and a tennis court. There's a picture of Donald Trump in every room.
There are three bedrooms with three beds each. How does the process of choosing rooms go? Who sleeps where?
Dude, this totally screws up my answer for the previous question. Let's say that all but three rooms are off limits. There, problem solved. Choosing rooms, well, Michael would push through everyone and run over to the rooms in order to be the first to choose, and Andy would follow him, complimenting his exceptional choice and beaming at the thought of being Michael's roomie. Charlie Crews finds them interesting, so he takes the last bed in their room. Dennis Duffy tries to room with Liz Lemon, but she kicks him out. Dennis and Dee Reynolds end up rooming with Liz (and Dennis keeps walking around with his shirt off). Alan Shore, Denny Crane, and Dennis Duffy take the last room. Alan and Denny chose it for its balcony.
There's still an elimination - that one person who it's obvious from the start is fooling themselves to think they even stood a chance. Who is it?
Dee Reynolds, naturally, because she always gets screwed over. During her goodbye confessional, she told the camera that her brother likes having sex with men. Big, hairy men. And she read out his phone number and his address.
Episode 2 - The First Challenge
The first challenge is something that everyone there ought to be good at already. What is it, and who's the best at it?
Fixing their hair into a heaping combover. Liz is the best, because she's the only one with enough hair to rival Donald Trump's combover.
Who's the one person who's just awful and horrible and ought to be sent home right now?
Michael Scott. He's trying to interfere in everything and getting on everyone's nerves. Although, some people are a little afraid of that Andy Bernard guy since he got angry during the combover challenge and busted his hairbrush against a wall.
Who's the fair-to-middling person who gets sent home instead in a terrible miscarriage of justice?
Liz Lemon.
What's their bitchy parting shot to the confessional camera?
Suck it, losers. I don't need this anyway. [Donald Trump voice] You're fired. See? [tears up a little] I could have been great, America. I could have been great. [sniff]
Episode 3 - Speaking of Bitchy...
Who's the arrogant, self-centered asswipe in the house and who is that asswipe rubbing the wrong way?
Dennis Reynolds. He's pretty much rubbing everyone the wrong way. Especially Alan Shore.
To everyone's chagrin, the asswipe wins the next challenge. What is it and how on earth does that contestant pull off a win?
Looking at themselves in the mirror for as long as possible. 3 hours after everyone had gotten tired of looking at themselves, Dennis was still smiling and winking at himself in the mirror.
A snippet from the confessional of one of the jealous contenders:
Andy Bernard:
I can't believe that douche is winning. I am SO good at looking into mirrors. I don't know what happened! I just... I think I had a crummy mirror. It was... heavier than all the others or something. And dusty.
Who does the worst in that challenge and goes home?
Alan Shore. He has too much self-loathing to look at himself for that long. :'(
Episode 4 - Party Time
The remaining six contestants go out to dinner. Who...
...dances on the table? Charlie Crews.
....kisses another contestant? Dennis Reynolds (in his drunken state he thought Andy was a woman)
...can't hold their liquor? Andy Bernard
...sits on the sidelines looking annoyed? Denny Crane, because he misses his Alan.
Surprise double elimination: One of the partiers gets thrown out for embarrassing the competition's good name. Who is it?
Dennis Reynolds. He refused to leave. He had to be dragged out by two burly security guards. One of them was really hairy and he was looking at Dennis with... lust.
Who else gets the ax this week?
Denny. Actually, Denny left. There weren't anymore women to seduce (Dee had been so easy that it was unusually unsatisfying) and he was longing to be with Alan again.
Episode 5 - Gettin' Down
With only four people left, things are roomier in the house, but you couldn't tell it to these two. Who's joined at the hips and steaming it up in the hot tub every night?
Charlie Crews and Andy Bernard (shut up, you knew I wouldn't be able to resist). Michael and Dennis Duffy watch them from the window.
How do the others feel about that?
Dennis: Dude, are they gay?
Michael: I don't know... I'll call Oscar and ask him.
Who has a personal crisis and is eliminated after turning in a lackluster performance because they're preoccupied with *gasp* real life?
Charlie Crews. Conspiracy development. Perfectly understandable.
Episode 6 - Three's Company
It's down to three. Which two gang up on the third, and why? What do they do?
Michael and Dennis gang up on Andy. Dennis calls a capella music and anyone who sings it gay. Michael just goes, "YEAH! GAY!" and Andy is terribly heartbroken and angry and defensive and lonely.
An excerpt from the confessional cam of that contestant crying into their Cheerios about being victimized:
Andy Bernard:
A capella is NOT gay. Very fine, upstanding gentlemen sing a capella, and if they happen to like doing other dudes, that's fine with me. Carl 2 and Pubey Lewis had a lovely ceremony a couple years ago. But that doesn't mean that everyone is gay! Like me, for instance. I'm engaged to my little tofu honey, and it's... she lets me kiss her on the forehead ALL THE TIME. Like, at least three times a week.
Does the victim survive the next elimination, breaking up the Dynamic Duo, or do they go home, pitting former friends against each other?
Sadly, Andy gets eliminated. He was too heartbroken to even kick anything.
Episode 7 - Grand Finale
How do the final two contestants feel about their chances to win?
Michael Scott:
I... I feel really good about this. My Donald Trump impression kills every time I call someone into my office and say, "You're fired." They, they don't laugh outwardly, but they're laughing on the inside, and everyone knows that the best laughs are the ones that are too powerful to be expressed with sound.
Dennis Duffy:
This competition is mine. No doubt. Michael's a cool dude and all, but he's got no chance. There are losers and there are winners. The Duffy men are winners. Survival of the fittest. I heard about it on Oprah. That woman knows what she's talking about.
What's the big shocker of the final competition?
They have to eat a 16 ounce Donald Trump steak in 60 seconds.
What's the factor that puts the winner over the top, or does the loser have a totally embarrassing moment that ruins their chances?
Michael spends the whole 60 seconds cutting his steak into tiny pieces. You can never be too careful when eating steak. Dennis, on the other hand, just picked it up and wolfed it down in about 3 bites.
Finally, announce the winner and tell them what they've won!
DENNIS DUFFY IS THE WINNER! [Dennis jumps up and is WOOing all over the stage] You are now the proud winner of a lifetime supply of Donald Trump steaks. Along with these delicious, juicy, tender Trump steaks available at all Sharper Image stores across the United States, you get to tour the nation impersonating Mr. Trump while selling these delicious, juicy, tender Trump steaks available at all Sharper Image stores across the United States. Congratulations.
Dennis:
WOOOOOOOOOO! BABABOOEY! YOU'RE FIRED! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Oh man, I had no idea that character would win. Even though I wrote it. But seriously, I watched it unfold with the rest of you.