A whole mess of things.
So, that Merlin Australian special. It only showed ASH twice, maybe? And, I swooned, both times.
CLEAVAGE, BITCH! HELL YEAH! I love my Uther cleavage. I can't help it. And he's so adorable when he cracks himself up with his nonsensical, rambley responses. I also love him for defending Uther. UTHER IS AWESOMESAUCE! Isn't it sad how everyone else is flailing over Bradley and Colin and Katie (and her ginormous glasses), and I'm just like, "THE OLD DUDE! HE'S HOT!" *sigh* I bet he'd even look hot in Katie's ginormous glasses.
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So, big time LJ voting stuff. It's annoying. I swear that 93.5% of my f-list is just people posting something like, "VOTE FOR MY SHIP, BITCHES! DO IT! NOW!" and, I'm all for enthusiasm and most certainly am not dissing any of you lovely people that I adore, but... ARGH. It's like the HBIC contest all over again. And you know who won the HBIC contest? A FUCKING MAN. Psh, even in an all female contest a stupid man wins. SUCH IS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN. And he won by a freaking landslide. A man who completely BUTCHERED Ring of Fire. I'M SORRY. I CANNOT SHARE FANDOM'S LOVE OF THIS NOT-SO-TALENTED DUDE WHO IS SO NOT AN HBIC. Anyway, I have already come to terms with the fact that NONE of my ships will win. They just won't. The one that has the most chance is Merlin/Arthur. Otherwise, I ship the obscure and/or hated ships, so... yeah, not gonna win. And I am being vicious and voting against the ships that bother me, and 9 times out of 10 I have never even heard of the opposing ship. WHY? WHY DO RIDICULOUS INTERNET CONTESTS MAKE US ALL LUNATICS? I don't know. But there you go. Also, I am saddened that Buffy/Giles isn't even an option. Nor is Uther/Morgana. *hmph* They so should have pitted Buffy/Angel against Buffy/Spike, just to see what kind of shit storm would happen from that. But... anyway. Yeah. I'm crazy. But so are you lot, so it's all good.
Speaking of ships this non-secret amused me. Firstly, because it said "Moses" instead of "Noah", and secondly, because the second I saw it, I was like, "OMG, ARE THEY TALKING TO ME?" As it has been lovingly pointed out by many, I don't have ships, I have a freaking fleet.
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Did I ever mention that the last new True Blood episode made me finally see why so many people ship Sookie/Eric? Because holy hell, they've got this freakishly hot thing going on between them, and I fear falling in love with that ship, because then it'll make me resent Bill, and I so don't want to resent that lovely vampire, so... yeah, I'm digging just going with the flow ship-wise on this show, so I really don't want to turn passionate about any of the ships, especially since the only one that I did really dig ended up going kablooey and I can't even remember why I had originally loved it so much. But Eric is so making Sookie more interesting, and Bill has a certain admiration for Eric and Sookie keeps getting in between them, and Sookie makes Bill a little unstable, and Eric just seems to get Sookie like no one else does, and GOOD LORD, I AM SO FALLING FOR THEM. AUGH, DON'T DO THIS TO ME, SHOW! I don't want to ship on this show! I just want to ogle the pretty men and laugh at the ridiculous plot. *sigh* I actually think the show is better this season writing-wise, but I think the ongoing mystery (Marianne) is sucksville. I so miss the ongoing mystery from season 1. But anyway, Sookie and Bill have gotten a lot more interesting this year, purely because of Jessica and Eric.
---------------
So, on the 4th of July, we watched the new movie on HBO, which was Burn After Reading. This got good reviews, people on my f-list generally enjoyed it. WHAT THE FREAKING HELL? IT WAS RIDICULOUS. So, so awful. I'm sorry dudes, but I just did not like it. At all. I don't really care for any of the actors in the film, so that might explain some of it, but... blech. I don't know. It wasn't the worst movie ever (I loved the government dude that was just plain confused and was happy to get rid of everybody), but it certainly wasn't worth all the praise. I guess I'm just not much of a dark comedy fan. I like goofy/awkward/touching comedy, not... pointless, the-only-endearing-characters-get-killed comedy. It was just stupid, and not the good kind of stupid. But again, not the worst, because it did keep me interested in its ridiculous plot (if it even had one), but... ugh. I could have skipped that one entirely.
Speaking of the 4th of July, since we (finally) closed down the candy store, my oldest brother brought along all the leftover candy and dried fruit and nuts with him, and GOOD GOD I am going to gain 50 million pounds by the end of the month. Seriously. There's got to be at least 30 pounds worth of candy there. Probably more. Mind you, I am picky about my candy that isn't chocolate, but still, I've been eating mini fruit slices like my life depends on them. And I've been devouring the few chocolate stuff that was left.
--------------
MEME!!!
Choose 10 characters (preferably from the same fandom) and answer the questions that follow. No peeking until your list is done!
1. Rupert Giles (Buffy)
2. Buffy Summers (Buffy)
3. Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
4. Morgana (Merlin)
5. Andy Bernard (The Office)
6. Denny Crane (Boston Legal)
7. Bill Compton (True Blood)
8. Burton "Gus" Guster (Psych)
9. Liz Lemon (30 Rock)
10. Marshall Mann (In Plain Sight)
1. Characters 4, 9 and 10 are at an arcade. What game do they choose to play, and who wins? (Morgana, Liz, Marshall)
Oh gosh, the thought of Liz and Marshall socializing BLOWS MY MIND. They would so nerd out together, and Morgana would be all 0__o at them. I'm pretty sure they'd play Pac Man, because I have a feeling that Liz and Marshall would totally appreciate the old schoolness of it all, and Morgana would be watching them apprehensively and slowly getting more and more into the game, until she finally shoves Marshall out of the way and starts competing against Liz, and Liz is all "Ooo, SUCK IT, PRINCESS! Oh... oh no... NO!" and Morgana is all, "Hahahahahahaha. I AM THE MASTER! BOW DOWN TO MY GREATNESS!" and Marshall is quietly amused.
2. Make up an e-mail address for 6. (Denny Crane)
Well, considering the fact that his catch phrase is his name, I'm thinking it would most definitely be dennycrane@cranepooleschmidt.com
3. If 8 had an iPod or some kind of music player, what kinds of songs would you find in it? (Uther Pendragon)
Ahahahaha, Uther with an ipod, that would be interesting. I'm thinking it would be filled with opera and classical, because he likes to think he's classy. Also, I wouldn't be surprised to find some Britney Spears on there. And possibly 50 Cent.
4. What would you do if 9 suddenly paid you a visit? (Liz Lemon)
Give her a high five, go to Dunkin Donuts with her, and nerd out with her over various things and commiserate with her about men being stupid.
5. Do you think 6 and 4 are made for each other? (Denny and Morgana)
Bwahahahahahaha. That would be the greatest match up EVER. Oh man, Denny would be horny the second he laid eyes on her, and Morgana would be all eye rolly and disgusted, but she would not be able to resist his oddball charm and she would conclude that he is an adorable old man, but she'd never sleep with him, and Denny would be disappointed and then go home to Alan and drink scotch with him and cuddle with him in bed and sigh happily as they fall asleep (totally canon, you guys! Alan/Denny is the GREATEST).
6. 1 challenges 3 to a no-holds-barred duel. Who will win and how? (Giles vs Uther, SWEETNESS!)
Dude, this is damn near impossible to answer. Uther is a warrior, he was born into it and fighting is pretty much all he knows, but he's been on his throne and off the battlefield for a good long while. Giles is more about book smarts, but he's trained in deadly arts and he's magnificent with a sword, and probably more agile than Uther. But Uther is a freaking KING. And Giles is rather clumsy and bound to get hit in the head by something, so I'm going to say that Uther would win.
7. 7, 2 and 1 order a pizza. What toppings does each one request, and what do the others think of the choices? (Bill Compton, Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles)
Ahahaha, how IRONIC that Bill is stuck with a vampire slayer. Well, naturally, Bill orders his with Tru Blood instead of pizza sauce, and Buffy and Giles are wrinkling their noses at that (they are in a booth and Buffy and Giles are sitting a little closer to each other than necessary, by the way, and getting little thrills every time they accidentally touch. This is obviously very relevant information). Buffy wants pineapple on the pizza, and Giles scoffs and mumbles something about Californians having to put fruit on everything, and Giles requests good old fashioned pepperoni, to which Buffy rolls her eyes and gives him a "You're hopeless, Giles," look, and Giles just smiles back at her, and Bill is watching them from across the table and feels like he's intruding on something intimate, because they just keep gazing into each other's eyes and it's making him miss Sookie.
8. What subject would 1 teach if s/he were a teacher/professor? (Rupert Giles)
Archeology, most definitely. Or some kind of history course.
9. 5 and 10 go on their first date. Where would they go, and what would they do? (Andy Bernard, Marshall Mann)
DUDE! ANOTHER PERFECT MARSHALL SHIP! I swear, this guy can crossover into any show and be magnificent with everybody. But, anyway, they'd probably attend an a capella concert (you KNOW Marshall is a man who could appreciate the art of a capella) and Andy would be making scoffing faces through the whole thing because Here Comes Treble is SO MUCH BETTER than the rabble they went to see, and Marshall humors him and he's like, "Oh, of course," and then Andy proceeds to demonstrate his vocal talent and how he's SO MUCH BETTER than that rabble they went to see, because obviously one cannot go to an a capella concert and not workout his pipes, and Marshall joins in with him and Andy falls in mad love right there on the spot, but then Marshall's voice cracks on a high note and Andy decides that he has to dump Marshall IMMEDIATELY, and he does, and as Andy walks away, Marshall is like, "What... what just happened?" and he goes back to the station and drinks away his woes with Mary.
10. 8 sings karaoke and dedicates a song to 7. What song would s/he dedicate and why? (Gus, Bill Compton)
Well, Gus would choose a Michael Jackson song, natch. And, to be ironic, it would be Man in the Mirror, because Bill has no reflection.
11. How would 8 court 6? (Gus, Denny Crane)
Oh man, he SO wouldn't be courting Denny. Denny would make Gus ridiculously nervous and he'd keep trying to act like he doesn't know Denny, and Denny would just keep hitting on him, and probably at one point sexually harass him, and Gus would get huffy and slap him and call him a dirty old man, and Denny would be holding his cheek with a faraway look as he watches Gus walk away and he'd say, "Hot damn, he loves me!"
12. Describe the relationship between 2 and 8 in the canon. Would you change it? Why? (Buffy, Gus Giles)
Ah bugger, this is why I should follow the rules! So, let's change Gus to Giles, and say that Buffy and Giles are EVERYTHING to each other, except sexual partners. But, generally, throughout the series, they fulfill all kinds of roles for each other (teacher/student, father/daughter, mother/son, best friends, makeshift romantic partners) and the ONLY boundary that they end up being super careful to never cross is the whole sex thing. Why? Because sex = very very bad things for both of them. It just ends in tragedy, and they don't want to lose each other. Now, whether they were attracted to each other is up for debate, but I'm going to say YES, YES THEY WERE. At the very least, Giles was attracted to Buffy. And, if you really go into analyzing Buffy's actions in regards to Giles and his sex life, I'm going to say she probably had a subconscious attraction to him (most definitely a possessiveness), but she didn't really think of him that way, and this CANONICALLY bugged Giles to no end. Would I change it? Probably not. I love the agony that comes with shipping Buffy/Giles and never knowing what the real answers are. Would I have loved canon confirmation in the end that Giles was in love with Buffy? Sure, but I think the subtext shouted it at me quite often throughout the series, so I'm good on that account. Would I have liked more romantic feelings from Buffy in regards to Giles? Probably, but then again, I love the unrequitedness of it all, and I love how Buffy/Giles is probably the only ship in existence that is requited yet completely unrequited on both sides. They love each other immensely, but they are rarely on the same page when it comes to how they love each other, and this causes all kinds of communication problems and feelings of rejection. They are a mess, but a beautiful one, and I love them just as they are.
13. In your list, who do you think is the perfect match for 3 and why? (Uther Pendragon)
UM, GEE, LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MINUTE. MORGANA. Because they challenge each other, because they love each other even when they don't want to love each other, because they're equals in mind and spirit even though they clash about EVERYTHING, because they are the only people who can see through each other's manipulations but at the same time completely fall for them because they want to believe in their love for each other, because they are both badass and physical and this leads to naughty scenes that shouldn't be naughty, because they are BEAUTIFUL, because they are cracked reflections of each other, because everything they do in regards to each other is motivated by love (even hating each other is motivated by their love for each other). They are a violent, dysfunctional, destructive mess and I love them.
14. 2 has a dream where 10 tells him/her to save 1, who is facing certain doom. What would 2 do? (Buffy, Marshall, Giles)
Marshall tells Buffy to save Giles. UH, I DON'T THINK SHE'D NEED TO BE TOLD. She would rush to save him in heartbeat. And, since Buffy has prophetic dreams, the second she wakes up from this thing she'd be panicking and calling Giles and she wouldn't let him out of her sight until he finally complains that he's perfectly capable of going to the bathroom without getting captured by demons and could she please go home before he decides to find the bloody demons himself and beg them to take him with them just so he can get away from HER.
15. 9 and 6 are about to get married, until 3 crashes their wedding and abducts 9 against his/her will. 6 follows them, but must forge an uneasy alliance with his/her archrival, 1. They must then hijack some form of transportation from 8 in order to get to 3’s lair, where they must fight against 3’s evil zombified minions. What will happen next?
Liz Lemon and Denny Crane are about to get married, Uther crashes the wedding and abducts Liz. Denny follows them but forges alliance with Giles. Must fight against Uther's zombified minions. OH, NO WONDER DENNY TEAMS UP WITH GILES! And, dudes, what's up with Uther using magic? HE'S GONE TO THE DARK SIDE! So, basically, Denny and Giles fight the zombies, but as Denny is crazily swinging around a 2x4, he accidentally hits Giles in the head and knocks him out, and the zombies are all like, "BRAAAAAAAINS!" as they close in on Giles and Denny is like, "Oooooh crap," and he throws down his plank and runs away, and then Buffy swoops in out of nowhere and starts kicking some zombie ass, because she happens to like Giles' brain, especially when it's still in his pretty head. And then Liz and Uther get married (hey, don't judge, Uther let her eat the biggest turkey leg that she had ever seen. How is she supposed to resist that?)
16. 8 receives a gift from 9. Does s/he open it or not? If so, what is inside? (Gus, Liz)
Uh... YES he opens it. Inside is a special edition boxset of Star Wars that contains all six episodes PLUS the Clone Wars, and they geek out over it together and end up making out. They just do. Star Wars makes Liz unnaturally horny.
17. 4 is walking home when s/he sees a cute fluffy creature, which promptly begins rubbing itself against his/her legs. Will s/he kick it away, or take it home? (Morgana)
Oh, she'll definitely take it home and pamper it and make kissy noises at it that annoys Uther to no end until HE kicks it. Out the window. And she decides that she will NEVER FORGIVE HIM. EVER.
18. 8 is dared by 4 to strip while pole-dancing in front of 7. Write a short dialogue about this. (Gus, Morgana, Bill)
GUS: NO!
MORGANA: Oh, come on, Gus, you're such a great dancer! And that body...
GUS: [smug smile as he does that wipey thing with his nose that he always does when he's being vain] Well, you know, Shawn does always tell me that I could play John Travolta in a remake of Saturday Night Fever. [does this pose]
MORGANA: [pauses while trying to keep a straight face] Oh, definitely. Yes. Now, go show us those moves, Travolta.
GUS: [still smiling smugly and admiring his own muscles, then proceeds to enthusiastically pole dance in front of Bill]
BILL: I do not want any part of this. [leaves]
GUS: [tweaks nipples]
19. What smiley/emoticon would best describe 5? (Andy Bernard)
:D
20. If you had the chance to rewrite 1’s life, how would you change it? (Rupert Giles)
I would... keep him kind of rebellious? Like, he would still have the leather jacket, and he'd just be naturally badass and not really worry about his image at all. He'd make Buffy swoon with his awesomeness but she'd still have a snarky thing going with him because he's still Book Guy, only he's suave and comfortable with himself, and the only thing that really makes him uncomfortable is his feelings for Buffy, and that's one line that he is not willing to cross, but he wants to more than anything, but he still puts her first and he would never take the chance of having a romantic relationship with her, and he's all insecure about her having feelings for him anyway, but she's secretly swooning over him all the time and he's oblivious to this, and just... yeah, that would be awesome. A lovely mixture of Ripper and Giles. But, you know, if Giles had been comfortable with himself, he just wouldn't have been the right fit for a show about teenagers trying to figure out who they are. But it would be interesting to read this scenario in fic form.
So, what did we learn from this meme? That Marshall/Liz would be one epic crossover OTP, Marshall/Andy would end in heartbreak, and Denny/Gus is meant to be.
CLEAVAGE, BITCH! HELL YEAH! I love my Uther cleavage. I can't help it. And he's so adorable when he cracks himself up with his nonsensical, rambley responses. I also love him for defending Uther. UTHER IS AWESOMESAUCE! Isn't it sad how everyone else is flailing over Bradley and Colin and Katie (and her ginormous glasses), and I'm just like, "THE OLD DUDE! HE'S HOT!" *sigh* I bet he'd even look hot in Katie's ginormous glasses.
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So, big time LJ voting stuff. It's annoying. I swear that 93.5% of my f-list is just people posting something like, "VOTE FOR MY SHIP, BITCHES! DO IT! NOW!" and, I'm all for enthusiasm and most certainly am not dissing any of you lovely people that I adore, but... ARGH. It's like the HBIC contest all over again. And you know who won the HBIC contest? A FUCKING MAN. Psh, even in an all female contest a stupid man wins. SUCH IS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN. And he won by a freaking landslide. A man who completely BUTCHERED Ring of Fire. I'M SORRY. I CANNOT SHARE FANDOM'S LOVE OF THIS NOT-SO-TALENTED DUDE WHO IS SO NOT AN HBIC. Anyway, I have already come to terms with the fact that NONE of my ships will win. They just won't. The one that has the most chance is Merlin/Arthur. Otherwise, I ship the obscure and/or hated ships, so... yeah, not gonna win. And I am being vicious and voting against the ships that bother me, and 9 times out of 10 I have never even heard of the opposing ship. WHY? WHY DO RIDICULOUS INTERNET CONTESTS MAKE US ALL LUNATICS? I don't know. But there you go. Also, I am saddened that Buffy/Giles isn't even an option. Nor is Uther/Morgana. *hmph* They so should have pitted Buffy/Angel against Buffy/Spike, just to see what kind of shit storm would happen from that. But... anyway. Yeah. I'm crazy. But so are you lot, so it's all good.
Speaking of ships this non-secret amused me. Firstly, because it said "Moses" instead of "Noah", and secondly, because the second I saw it, I was like, "OMG, ARE THEY TALKING TO ME?" As it has been lovingly pointed out by many, I don't have ships, I have a freaking fleet.
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Did I ever mention that the last new True Blood episode made me finally see why so many people ship Sookie/Eric? Because holy hell, they've got this freakishly hot thing going on between them, and I fear falling in love with that ship, because then it'll make me resent Bill, and I so don't want to resent that lovely vampire, so... yeah, I'm digging just going with the flow ship-wise on this show, so I really don't want to turn passionate about any of the ships, especially since the only one that I did really dig ended up going kablooey and I can't even remember why I had originally loved it so much. But Eric is so making Sookie more interesting, and Bill has a certain admiration for Eric and Sookie keeps getting in between them, and Sookie makes Bill a little unstable, and Eric just seems to get Sookie like no one else does, and GOOD LORD, I AM SO FALLING FOR THEM. AUGH, DON'T DO THIS TO ME, SHOW! I don't want to ship on this show! I just want to ogle the pretty men and laugh at the ridiculous plot. *sigh* I actually think the show is better this season writing-wise, but I think the ongoing mystery (Marianne) is sucksville. I so miss the ongoing mystery from season 1. But anyway, Sookie and Bill have gotten a lot more interesting this year, purely because of Jessica and Eric.
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So, on the 4th of July, we watched the new movie on HBO, which was Burn After Reading. This got good reviews, people on my f-list generally enjoyed it. WHAT THE FREAKING HELL? IT WAS RIDICULOUS. So, so awful. I'm sorry dudes, but I just did not like it. At all. I don't really care for any of the actors in the film, so that might explain some of it, but... blech. I don't know. It wasn't the worst movie ever (I loved the government dude that was just plain confused and was happy to get rid of everybody), but it certainly wasn't worth all the praise. I guess I'm just not much of a dark comedy fan. I like goofy/awkward/touching comedy, not... pointless, the-only-endearing-characters-get-killed comedy. It was just stupid, and not the good kind of stupid. But again, not the worst, because it did keep me interested in its ridiculous plot (if it even had one), but... ugh. I could have skipped that one entirely.
Speaking of the 4th of July, since we (finally) closed down the candy store, my oldest brother brought along all the leftover candy and dried fruit and nuts with him, and GOOD GOD I am going to gain 50 million pounds by the end of the month. Seriously. There's got to be at least 30 pounds worth of candy there. Probably more. Mind you, I am picky about my candy that isn't chocolate, but still, I've been eating mini fruit slices like my life depends on them. And I've been devouring the few chocolate stuff that was left.
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MEME!!!
Choose 10 characters (preferably from the same fandom) and answer the questions that follow. No peeking until your list is done!
1. Rupert Giles (Buffy)
2. Buffy Summers (Buffy)
3. Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
4. Morgana (Merlin)
5. Andy Bernard (The Office)
6. Denny Crane (Boston Legal)
7. Bill Compton (True Blood)
8. Burton "Gus" Guster (Psych)
9. Liz Lemon (30 Rock)
10. Marshall Mann (In Plain Sight)
1. Characters 4, 9 and 10 are at an arcade. What game do they choose to play, and who wins? (Morgana, Liz, Marshall)
Oh gosh, the thought of Liz and Marshall socializing BLOWS MY MIND. They would so nerd out together, and Morgana would be all 0__o at them. I'm pretty sure they'd play Pac Man, because I have a feeling that Liz and Marshall would totally appreciate the old schoolness of it all, and Morgana would be watching them apprehensively and slowly getting more and more into the game, until she finally shoves Marshall out of the way and starts competing against Liz, and Liz is all "Ooo, SUCK IT, PRINCESS! Oh... oh no... NO!" and Morgana is all, "Hahahahahahaha. I AM THE MASTER! BOW DOWN TO MY GREATNESS!" and Marshall is quietly amused.
2. Make up an e-mail address for 6. (Denny Crane)
Well, considering the fact that his catch phrase is his name, I'm thinking it would most definitely be dennycrane@cranepooleschmidt.com
3. If 8 had an iPod or some kind of music player, what kinds of songs would you find in it? (Uther Pendragon)
Ahahahaha, Uther with an ipod, that would be interesting. I'm thinking it would be filled with opera and classical, because he likes to think he's classy. Also, I wouldn't be surprised to find some Britney Spears on there. And possibly 50 Cent.
4. What would you do if 9 suddenly paid you a visit? (Liz Lemon)
Give her a high five, go to Dunkin Donuts with her, and nerd out with her over various things and commiserate with her about men being stupid.
5. Do you think 6 and 4 are made for each other? (Denny and Morgana)
Bwahahahahahaha. That would be the greatest match up EVER. Oh man, Denny would be horny the second he laid eyes on her, and Morgana would be all eye rolly and disgusted, but she would not be able to resist his oddball charm and she would conclude that he is an adorable old man, but she'd never sleep with him, and Denny would be disappointed and then go home to Alan and drink scotch with him and cuddle with him in bed and sigh happily as they fall asleep (totally canon, you guys! Alan/Denny is the GREATEST).
6. 1 challenges 3 to a no-holds-barred duel. Who will win and how? (Giles vs Uther, SWEETNESS!)
Dude, this is damn near impossible to answer. Uther is a warrior, he was born into it and fighting is pretty much all he knows, but he's been on his throne and off the battlefield for a good long while. Giles is more about book smarts, but he's trained in deadly arts and he's magnificent with a sword, and probably more agile than Uther. But Uther is a freaking KING. And Giles is rather clumsy and bound to get hit in the head by something, so I'm going to say that Uther would win.
7. 7, 2 and 1 order a pizza. What toppings does each one request, and what do the others think of the choices? (Bill Compton, Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles)
Ahahaha, how IRONIC that Bill is stuck with a vampire slayer. Well, naturally, Bill orders his with Tru Blood instead of pizza sauce, and Buffy and Giles are wrinkling their noses at that (they are in a booth and Buffy and Giles are sitting a little closer to each other than necessary, by the way, and getting little thrills every time they accidentally touch. This is obviously very relevant information). Buffy wants pineapple on the pizza, and Giles scoffs and mumbles something about Californians having to put fruit on everything, and Giles requests good old fashioned pepperoni, to which Buffy rolls her eyes and gives him a "You're hopeless, Giles," look, and Giles just smiles back at her, and Bill is watching them from across the table and feels like he's intruding on something intimate, because they just keep gazing into each other's eyes and it's making him miss Sookie.
8. What subject would 1 teach if s/he were a teacher/professor? (Rupert Giles)
Archeology, most definitely. Or some kind of history course.
9. 5 and 10 go on their first date. Where would they go, and what would they do? (Andy Bernard, Marshall Mann)
DUDE! ANOTHER PERFECT MARSHALL SHIP! I swear, this guy can crossover into any show and be magnificent with everybody. But, anyway, they'd probably attend an a capella concert (you KNOW Marshall is a man who could appreciate the art of a capella) and Andy would be making scoffing faces through the whole thing because Here Comes Treble is SO MUCH BETTER than the rabble they went to see, and Marshall humors him and he's like, "Oh, of course," and then Andy proceeds to demonstrate his vocal talent and how he's SO MUCH BETTER than that rabble they went to see, because obviously one cannot go to an a capella concert and not workout his pipes, and Marshall joins in with him and Andy falls in mad love right there on the spot, but then Marshall's voice cracks on a high note and Andy decides that he has to dump Marshall IMMEDIATELY, and he does, and as Andy walks away, Marshall is like, "What... what just happened?" and he goes back to the station and drinks away his woes with Mary.
10. 8 sings karaoke and dedicates a song to 7. What song would s/he dedicate and why? (Gus, Bill Compton)
Well, Gus would choose a Michael Jackson song, natch. And, to be ironic, it would be Man in the Mirror, because Bill has no reflection.
11. How would 8 court 6? (Gus, Denny Crane)
Oh man, he SO wouldn't be courting Denny. Denny would make Gus ridiculously nervous and he'd keep trying to act like he doesn't know Denny, and Denny would just keep hitting on him, and probably at one point sexually harass him, and Gus would get huffy and slap him and call him a dirty old man, and Denny would be holding his cheek with a faraway look as he watches Gus walk away and he'd say, "Hot damn, he loves me!"
12. Describe the relationship between 2 and 8 in the canon. Would you change it? Why? (Buffy, Gus Giles)
Ah bugger, this is why I should follow the rules! So, let's change Gus to Giles, and say that Buffy and Giles are EVERYTHING to each other, except sexual partners. But, generally, throughout the series, they fulfill all kinds of roles for each other (teacher/student, father/daughter, mother/son, best friends, makeshift romantic partners) and the ONLY boundary that they end up being super careful to never cross is the whole sex thing. Why? Because sex = very very bad things for both of them. It just ends in tragedy, and they don't want to lose each other. Now, whether they were attracted to each other is up for debate, but I'm going to say YES, YES THEY WERE. At the very least, Giles was attracted to Buffy. And, if you really go into analyzing Buffy's actions in regards to Giles and his sex life, I'm going to say she probably had a subconscious attraction to him (most definitely a possessiveness), but she didn't really think of him that way, and this CANONICALLY bugged Giles to no end. Would I change it? Probably not. I love the agony that comes with shipping Buffy/Giles and never knowing what the real answers are. Would I have loved canon confirmation in the end that Giles was in love with Buffy? Sure, but I think the subtext shouted it at me quite often throughout the series, so I'm good on that account. Would I have liked more romantic feelings from Buffy in regards to Giles? Probably, but then again, I love the unrequitedness of it all, and I love how Buffy/Giles is probably the only ship in existence that is requited yet completely unrequited on both sides. They love each other immensely, but they are rarely on the same page when it comes to how they love each other, and this causes all kinds of communication problems and feelings of rejection. They are a mess, but a beautiful one, and I love them just as they are.
13. In your list, who do you think is the perfect match for 3 and why? (Uther Pendragon)
UM, GEE, LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MINUTE. MORGANA. Because they challenge each other, because they love each other even when they don't want to love each other, because they're equals in mind and spirit even though they clash about EVERYTHING, because they are the only people who can see through each other's manipulations but at the same time completely fall for them because they want to believe in their love for each other, because they are both badass and physical and this leads to naughty scenes that shouldn't be naughty, because they are BEAUTIFUL, because they are cracked reflections of each other, because everything they do in regards to each other is motivated by love (even hating each other is motivated by their love for each other). They are a violent, dysfunctional, destructive mess and I love them.
14. 2 has a dream where 10 tells him/her to save 1, who is facing certain doom. What would 2 do? (Buffy, Marshall, Giles)
Marshall tells Buffy to save Giles. UH, I DON'T THINK SHE'D NEED TO BE TOLD. She would rush to save him in heartbeat. And, since Buffy has prophetic dreams, the second she wakes up from this thing she'd be panicking and calling Giles and she wouldn't let him out of her sight until he finally complains that he's perfectly capable of going to the bathroom without getting captured by demons and could she please go home before he decides to find the bloody demons himself and beg them to take him with them just so he can get away from HER.
15. 9 and 6 are about to get married, until 3 crashes their wedding and abducts 9 against his/her will. 6 follows them, but must forge an uneasy alliance with his/her archrival, 1. They must then hijack some form of transportation from 8 in order to get to 3’s lair, where they must fight against 3’s evil zombified minions. What will happen next?
Liz Lemon and Denny Crane are about to get married, Uther crashes the wedding and abducts Liz. Denny follows them but forges alliance with Giles. Must fight against Uther's zombified minions. OH, NO WONDER DENNY TEAMS UP WITH GILES! And, dudes, what's up with Uther using magic? HE'S GONE TO THE DARK SIDE! So, basically, Denny and Giles fight the zombies, but as Denny is crazily swinging around a 2x4, he accidentally hits Giles in the head and knocks him out, and the zombies are all like, "BRAAAAAAAINS!" as they close in on Giles and Denny is like, "Oooooh crap," and he throws down his plank and runs away, and then Buffy swoops in out of nowhere and starts kicking some zombie ass, because she happens to like Giles' brain, especially when it's still in his pretty head. And then Liz and Uther get married (hey, don't judge, Uther let her eat the biggest turkey leg that she had ever seen. How is she supposed to resist that?)
16. 8 receives a gift from 9. Does s/he open it or not? If so, what is inside? (Gus, Liz)
Uh... YES he opens it. Inside is a special edition boxset of Star Wars that contains all six episodes PLUS the Clone Wars, and they geek out over it together and end up making out. They just do. Star Wars makes Liz unnaturally horny.
17. 4 is walking home when s/he sees a cute fluffy creature, which promptly begins rubbing itself against his/her legs. Will s/he kick it away, or take it home? (Morgana)
Oh, she'll definitely take it home and pamper it and make kissy noises at it that annoys Uther to no end until HE kicks it. Out the window. And she decides that she will NEVER FORGIVE HIM. EVER.
18. 8 is dared by 4 to strip while pole-dancing in front of 7. Write a short dialogue about this. (Gus, Morgana, Bill)
GUS: NO!
MORGANA: Oh, come on, Gus, you're such a great dancer! And that body...
GUS: [smug smile as he does that wipey thing with his nose that he always does when he's being vain] Well, you know, Shawn does always tell me that I could play John Travolta in a remake of Saturday Night Fever. [does this pose]
MORGANA: [pauses while trying to keep a straight face] Oh, definitely. Yes. Now, go show us those moves, Travolta.
GUS: [still smiling smugly and admiring his own muscles, then proceeds to enthusiastically pole dance in front of Bill]
BILL: I do not want any part of this. [leaves]
GUS: [tweaks nipples]
19. What smiley/emoticon would best describe 5? (Andy Bernard)
:D
20. If you had the chance to rewrite 1’s life, how would you change it? (Rupert Giles)
I would... keep him kind of rebellious? Like, he would still have the leather jacket, and he'd just be naturally badass and not really worry about his image at all. He'd make Buffy swoon with his awesomeness but she'd still have a snarky thing going with him because he's still Book Guy, only he's suave and comfortable with himself, and the only thing that really makes him uncomfortable is his feelings for Buffy, and that's one line that he is not willing to cross, but he wants to more than anything, but he still puts her first and he would never take the chance of having a romantic relationship with her, and he's all insecure about her having feelings for him anyway, but she's secretly swooning over him all the time and he's oblivious to this, and just... yeah, that would be awesome. A lovely mixture of Ripper and Giles. But, you know, if Giles had been comfortable with himself, he just wouldn't have been the right fit for a show about teenagers trying to figure out who they are. But it would be interesting to read this scenario in fic form.
So, what did we learn from this meme? That Marshall/Liz would be one epic crossover OTP, Marshall/Andy would end in heartbreak, and Denny/Gus is meant to be.