( Read more... )

"I need to poop but 'dere's no toilet paper on 'dis kriffing ship..... suggestions?"

 

( Read more... )

 Please get your stupid wedding over with so America can stop obsessing over you and once again try to move onto and fix more pressing issues. Thanxplz.

(you could feed a poor country with the money you're spending on this thing just get married in vegas like any other normal person gal)

 "Mountain Dew is not water."

 "Just had a dream I was in a violent love affair wit' 'de fat, black kid from Stand by Me. Woke up very confused."

 "brb, shovelin' my ship out from under twenty-tree fucking feet of snow. Never take a job on Hoth."

 "If I was born a hutt I would just kill myself. I mean seriously, what 'de hell? Cover dat shit up."

 My roommates gone for the day, gonna be masturbating furiously.