Wow. Just, wow. I understand much more where you're coming from now. Well, at least we learn a lot--about ourselves, about other people, about how we want and need to be treated, and about what we're willing to do and not do--from relationships as shitty as the one you've described. Of course, nine years is a long hard prison sentence in a relationship just to learn that it's NOT what you want, but that's the nature of the beast, I guess. I'm so glad for your sake that you've not only moved on and found the man of your dreams, but are able to put this behind you (for the most part) and not continue living out the same old pattern of coercion and abuse. You deserved so much better. (And thanks for sharing.)
No, I'm not... thank GAWD! I have my marvelous naturopath to thank for my new found health =-) For years I had nasty stomach problems caused by a history of anorexia, ongoing stress, being a poor student living on potatoes, pasta and popcorn, and various allergies. That was the primary cause of the dyspareunia, but it was complicated by being unable to relax, etc.
A dumbass gyno tried to treat it with estrogen, but that just screwed me up even more. Who would have ever though that a simple cure lies in a combination of dumping stupid boyfriends and removing sugars, yeast, and other irritants from your diet. Oh! And quitting the birth control pill... that was a big part of it, as well. So, Yay!! After years in an uphill struggle, I'm now doing just fine, as if nothing was ever wrong in the first place =-) Thanks for asking =-)
Thanks for such considerate words, and I'm glad I posted it in the end... my closet friends are aware of what happened, now that its so long behind me, and of course, my boyfriend knows all about it as well. Still, I sometimes feel like I'm carrying the past around as a secret stupidity of my former self. Although your story was completely different, it does help me to realize that other women have been trapped in emotionally and psychologically hurtful situations and that finding it hard to get out isn't a failure... its an effect of the way we're expected to behave... giving, understanding, nurturing, blah blah blah.
Indeed, shitty relationships are educational. All things considering, I'm glad I learned quickly enough so that I dind't wind up in a similiar situation with yet another asshole. Two are enough... the more I think about it, the more I see similiarities between my father and my ex... :shudder:.
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A dumbass gyno tried to treat it with estrogen, but that just screwed me up even more. Who would have ever though that a simple cure lies in a combination of dumping stupid boyfriends and removing sugars, yeast, and other irritants from your diet. Oh! And quitting the birth control pill... that was a big part of it, as well. So, Yay!! After years in an uphill struggle, I'm now doing just fine, as if nothing was ever wrong in the first place =-) Thanks for asking =-)
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Indeed, shitty relationships are educational. All things considering, I'm glad I learned quickly enough so that I dind't wind up in a similiar situation with yet another asshole. Two are enough... the more I think about it, the more I see similiarities between my father and my ex... :shudder:.
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