Congrats Jabbawockeez~!
way to represent SD! I'm THAT much prouder to say I'm from San Diego~!
So this entry was not just about MTVs America's Best Dance Crew... I also wanted to touch up on my life and reflect a bit, if you don't mind.
Even tho my last post was yesterday, I'm going to further explain what's going on in my head.
First off, I talked to my mom about what's going, on, my plans, my what I'll be doing with school or rather what I won't be doing with school. What I told her was I'll be taking a break. Although I didn't tell her that I was going to be dismissed because I felt that it wasn't something I could share. Although, I did tell her that I was having a hard time this year and I'm pretty sure she knows a general idea of how I'm handling things here. I told her that I didn't do too well and that I was really stressed out and that it was affecting me negatively.
I basically need time to reflect, reevaluate, rediscover, and reconstruct my life here in Riverside, away from home. We discussed the issues of money. She reminded me of my aunt who is going through her last years on dialysis because of diabetes has claimed her life and how she's helping to send her money to do that otherwise she dies because of the toxins and whatnot that can't be cleaned out that our body normally does on its own. She also informed me that my uncle has this disease or condition that he can't get tired anymore. His body loses or has lost a lot of fluids which help our body function so he can't get tired and I think is being treated.
My parents are also helping my sister out with the twins, lil' AJ and Kylie. So she sacrificed her full-time status, switched to part-time status, earns about 75% less than what she used to, and therefore can't take care of me while I'm out here. Plus she tells me that they're behind two months in making payments for the loans that they took out for me.
So as you can see, my parents are no longer capable of taking care of me financially while I'm out here, which I've been trying so hard to do myself while going to school, while being DC for Evolution, while dancing for 909, while working. So it was very taxing on my health. Back in August when I first got my job at Cookie Lee, I was ok and I was so happy earning more than minimum wage for such a simple job. But I couldn't be punctual because of the commute, not having a car and all. and I failed at cash handling because people are stupid to take receipts that they shouldn't be taking. So I got fired technically because I "couldn't follow company policies about attendance and cash handling," but more because it wasn't a good fit for me, as Rhonda, my manager at the time, had said. So I lost that job.
I'm still yet to pay Stephen back for fronting up February's rent... on top of the money he fronted up to pay for the laptop that I'm using. And I have credit bills to pay off or start paying off. So I lived in desperation for a month trying to find a job, living day to day errat(thank god I had a place to sleep at least), and i slowly started losing myself. I honestly didn't know what was happening to me. I didn't think like myself, I started thinking erratically and making stupid decisions. My mind was so troubled and stressed because i didn't have a job for awhile and because I didn't know what I was doing. School became less important, my life, my health, my passion, those became more important to me because they matter the most.
I put education on the backseat because I kept thinking about fixing my financial problems. And I decided to myself that I won't, i absolutely forbid myself, to go home, live there, and help pay off my debts, specifically speaking my debts to my cards and to my loans. I thought about it and I wouldn't be able to pay back Stephen for this laptop. So that's why I've decided to stay here and fix it here, pay Stephen back, and pay most of my credit bills off so that I could then focus on school afterwards.
It's a simple plan; it's an option easy enough and full proof in theory. I just hope it works out and I know it will.
So that's my financial update and my situation as it is. At this very moment, I'm working at Quiznos again. I'm back to making toasted subs and going home smelling of meat, dressings, and sauce. Interestingly enough, I've made new friends, or more like acquaintances, but I'm hoping to become really good friends with them, hoping that i could do the same as I did with Matt and Tanisha: hang; chill; drink booze and beer; and have a great time getting to know each other.
As corny as that sounded, whatever. Haha I'm a nice guy so yeah. I've also applied for a much wanted job making crepes at the Crepe Shack in the same mall area. The manager had updated me that she hired a couple of people (I think guys) and that she's trying to get them trained. And depending on how busy it gets in the next couple of weeks, she'll hire some more people, hopefully me. I tried to kiss ass telling her that I'm a quick learner and that she wouldn't have that many problems with me since my current manager doesn't have any problems with me as it is.
With my social life, I'm so thankful and glad that I still have it. 909: for those i hang out with the most: Peter, Robbie, Lillian, Alan E., Richie, Laura, Mikee, Roger, Jojo, James, Jut, Alex, Stacey, Robert, Jo, Jackie, Andre... You guys keep me going. Honestly you guys do. I'd be a dust bunnie in my apartment if it weren't for people like you. Either a dust bunnie or a net monger... My spring break, or break in general has been great and eventful. And also my way back when gay friends. I'm glad some of you are still around and that you guys keep me entertained and you guys still have that love for me.
And there's right now. Bestest best friend, i love you. Jez, I love you... John, I love you... Although I've hit rock bottom, I'm still hanging in there and I'm rebuilding myself. Slowly and surely, and hopefully for not too long cuz I would hate to keep blogging about bad stuff like this... I was actually intending this blog to be more of a personal dance blog for me. But I guess it doesn't have to be.
and with that, I'll depart for now until the next entry... I'm gonna smoke a stoke, have a snack, and then start my marathon of Honey & Clover. Which btw, EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT!!! I just finished downloading the first series. It continues in Honey & Clover II which is also great... NOT TO MENTION! There's a movie out that i had downloaded, which is AWESOME!!! and there's also a live action show which i haven't seen too much of but from what i've seen so far of it, it's GOOD! Getchos!
So this entry was not just about MTVs America's Best Dance Crew... I also wanted to touch up on my life and reflect a bit, if you don't mind.
Even tho my last post was yesterday, I'm going to further explain what's going on in my head.
First off, I talked to my mom about what's going, on, my plans, my what I'll be doing with school or rather what I won't be doing with school. What I told her was I'll be taking a break. Although I didn't tell her that I was going to be dismissed because I felt that it wasn't something I could share. Although, I did tell her that I was having a hard time this year and I'm pretty sure she knows a general idea of how I'm handling things here. I told her that I didn't do too well and that I was really stressed out and that it was affecting me negatively.
I basically need time to reflect, reevaluate, rediscover, and reconstruct my life here in Riverside, away from home. We discussed the issues of money. She reminded me of my aunt who is going through her last years on dialysis because of diabetes has claimed her life and how she's helping to send her money to do that otherwise she dies because of the toxins and whatnot that can't be cleaned out that our body normally does on its own. She also informed me that my uncle has this disease or condition that he can't get tired anymore. His body loses or has lost a lot of fluids which help our body function so he can't get tired and I think is being treated.
My parents are also helping my sister out with the twins, lil' AJ and Kylie. So she sacrificed her full-time status, switched to part-time status, earns about 75% less than what she used to, and therefore can't take care of me while I'm out here. Plus she tells me that they're behind two months in making payments for the loans that they took out for me.
So as you can see, my parents are no longer capable of taking care of me financially while I'm out here, which I've been trying so hard to do myself while going to school, while being DC for Evolution, while dancing for 909, while working. So it was very taxing on my health. Back in August when I first got my job at Cookie Lee, I was ok and I was so happy earning more than minimum wage for such a simple job. But I couldn't be punctual because of the commute, not having a car and all. and I failed at cash handling because people are stupid to take receipts that they shouldn't be taking. So I got fired technically because I "couldn't follow company policies about attendance and cash handling," but more because it wasn't a good fit for me, as Rhonda, my manager at the time, had said. So I lost that job.
I'm still yet to pay Stephen back for fronting up February's rent... on top of the money he fronted up to pay for the laptop that I'm using. And I have credit bills to pay off or start paying off. So I lived in desperation for a month trying to find a job, living day to day errat(thank god I had a place to sleep at least), and i slowly started losing myself. I honestly didn't know what was happening to me. I didn't think like myself, I started thinking erratically and making stupid decisions. My mind was so troubled and stressed because i didn't have a job for awhile and because I didn't know what I was doing. School became less important, my life, my health, my passion, those became more important to me because they matter the most.
I put education on the backseat because I kept thinking about fixing my financial problems. And I decided to myself that I won't, i absolutely forbid myself, to go home, live there, and help pay off my debts, specifically speaking my debts to my cards and to my loans. I thought about it and I wouldn't be able to pay back Stephen for this laptop. So that's why I've decided to stay here and fix it here, pay Stephen back, and pay most of my credit bills off so that I could then focus on school afterwards.
It's a simple plan; it's an option easy enough and full proof in theory. I just hope it works out and I know it will.
So that's my financial update and my situation as it is. At this very moment, I'm working at Quiznos again. I'm back to making toasted subs and going home smelling of meat, dressings, and sauce. Interestingly enough, I've made new friends, or more like acquaintances, but I'm hoping to become really good friends with them, hoping that i could do the same as I did with Matt and Tanisha: hang; chill; drink booze and beer; and have a great time getting to know each other.
As corny as that sounded, whatever. Haha I'm a nice guy so yeah. I've also applied for a much wanted job making crepes at the Crepe Shack in the same mall area. The manager had updated me that she hired a couple of people (I think guys) and that she's trying to get them trained. And depending on how busy it gets in the next couple of weeks, she'll hire some more people, hopefully me. I tried to kiss ass telling her that I'm a quick learner and that she wouldn't have that many problems with me since my current manager doesn't have any problems with me as it is.
With my social life, I'm so thankful and glad that I still have it. 909: for those i hang out with the most: Peter, Robbie, Lillian, Alan E., Richie, Laura, Mikee, Roger, Jojo, James, Jut, Alex, Stacey, Robert, Jo, Jackie, Andre... You guys keep me going. Honestly you guys do. I'd be a dust bunnie in my apartment if it weren't for people like you. Either a dust bunnie or a net monger... My spring break, or break in general has been great and eventful. And also my way back when gay friends. I'm glad some of you are still around and that you guys keep me entertained and you guys still have that love for me.
And there's right now. Bestest best friend, i love you. Jez, I love you... John, I love you... Although I've hit rock bottom, I'm still hanging in there and I'm rebuilding myself. Slowly and surely, and hopefully for not too long cuz I would hate to keep blogging about bad stuff like this... I was actually intending this blog to be more of a personal dance blog for me. But I guess it doesn't have to be.
and with that, I'll depart for now until the next entry... I'm gonna smoke a stoke, have a snack, and then start my marathon of Honey & Clover. Which btw, EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT!!! I just finished downloading the first series. It continues in Honey & Clover II which is also great... NOT TO MENTION! There's a movie out that i had downloaded, which is AWESOME!!! and there's also a live action show which i haven't seen too much of but from what i've seen so far of it, it's GOOD! Getchos!