at around 1AM new year's day, i opened my first fortune cookie for 2005 and it read, "the current year will bring you much happiness". i hope so. that was a good night ( Read more... )

the day we left l.a., there was a monsoon-like downpour like we hadn't seen since 1983 when a tornado went through hawthorne and tore the roof off the little, red house next to our kindergarten, and tossed it into our playground. the sky was black that day. and the sky was almost as black on moving day. when we finally got to savannah, we heard ( Read more... )

sometimes things don't have to be said. they're just known.
silence confesses to it all.
i dream about the goodbye nightly ever since.
i wonder where home is.
sometimes i know, sometimes i don't.
but the silence welcomes me.
and at that moment, i feel i'm lost because i've found a way.
i can't take.
even though i want to, every time.

i was in the back room rushing to put my clothes back on. the air conditioning was cold, my muscles were sore, and the stupid light switch in the room was on a motion sensor, so it kept turning off on me if i wasn’t standing right in front of it. and why would i be standing right in front of it, since the door was there and anyone could come in ( Read more... )

here’s to not looking back. i’ve been dealing with this weird situation that makes me feel like i’m back in junior high. i have these two very good friends that i used to hang out with all the time. actually, i’ve written about them in this journal before. we’ve partied together, we’ve cried together, we’ve been disordered together. one of ( Read more... )

sorry guys, i don’t know what’s wrong with me. it’s not that i have writer’s block. it’s not even occurring to me to write. every once and awhile i think to myself, “oh shit, the journal”. “oh shit, ‘the artist’s way’”. “oh shit, practicing”. nothing is naturally occurring to me when it comes to my creative work. i don’t know what that’s ( Read more... )

you know times are tough when you become the charity case in the office lotto pool ( Read more... )

alright, i'm back. if you were at all concerned about the fact that my journal wasn't updated for like a month after those last two very negative entries, your were right to be ( Read more... )

i just saw something that truly offended me, and i couldn't believe it. it seems that now it's ok to exploit bulimia for the purpose of selling fast-food ( Read more... )

this weekend was a grueling test of my progress and i feel like i failed, even though my therapist and my friends tell me it’s not that black and white. my father-in-law, sister-in-law and her new husband came to town for a big family wedding we were all attending. my husband’s aunt and uncle from arizona were also in town. basically i spent the ( Read more... )