As it was, as it will be
I've been avoiding writing here for a number of reasons. Lack of time, other mediums, those sort of reasons. The main one, though, is that I don't want to come back here in two years, five years, however many years from now and have to read about how my life was doing right now.
About a month ago, my brother went in to get his appendix removed and came out with a stage four colon cancer diagnosis. It had already metastasized to his liver and lymph nodes. They've removed the infected parts of his bowels but the liver is inoperable. It is an extremely fast growing and the doctors estimate he's had it for less than a year. They are planning to attack the liver & lymph nodes with chemo but they don't have a lot of hope that they'll find something that works before my brother runs out of time.
He's 37, one year older than my father when got the exact same diagnosis.
Eventually I'll write something here about the complicated relationship I have with my brother. Lets just say that I love him dearly and occasionally wish we'd been born into different families.
Despite that, I seem to be completely unable to imagine a world without him in it.
I don't want to pour all the feelings I'm dealing out into the internet where I'll have to face them again in the future and I don't seem to be able to craft anything that doesn't roll back around to the fact that my brother has cancer. So I'm going to continue avoiding the problem for now and just be an observer.
About a month ago, my brother went in to get his appendix removed and came out with a stage four colon cancer diagnosis. It had already metastasized to his liver and lymph nodes. They've removed the infected parts of his bowels but the liver is inoperable. It is an extremely fast growing and the doctors estimate he's had it for less than a year. They are planning to attack the liver & lymph nodes with chemo but they don't have a lot of hope that they'll find something that works before my brother runs out of time.
He's 37, one year older than my father when got the exact same diagnosis.
Eventually I'll write something here about the complicated relationship I have with my brother. Lets just say that I love him dearly and occasionally wish we'd been born into different families.
Despite that, I seem to be completely unable to imagine a world without him in it.
I don't want to pour all the feelings I'm dealing out into the internet where I'll have to face them again in the future and I don't seem to be able to craft anything that doesn't roll back around to the fact that my brother has cancer. So I'm going to continue avoiding the problem for now and just be an observer.