(no subject)
Title: Not Quite Christmas 1/2
Author: flatlanddan
Prompt: Christmas Tree (written for tw_calender)
Rating: R (for language)
Characters: Team, Rhys, minor OC
Thanks to randommagic for beta reading this one Christmas Eve. Best. Wife. Ever.
Christmas, Jack Harkness mused, was never going to be a particularly happy affair for anyone working for Torchwood. He had thought about asking Ianto what they had done at Torchwood One to celebrate but then decided that was in exceptionally poor taste, even for him. They had tried a Christmas party last year when it had been the five of them but he couldn't help but think that everyone had been relieved when a Weevil had been reported at Winter Wonderland. Well, you did deliver on the food, ice skating and drinks Harkness Owen had said with a laugh as they ate McDonalds in the SUV on St. Mary's Street. It had been four am and the funniest thing in the world was Ianto trying to wring the mulled wine out of his tie and into Owen's coke.
But that was last year and this year...he looked up from what had once been Owen's desk and over the field of paperwork. He could just make out the top of Ianto's head but Gwen was buried from sight.
"You've stopped signing things Jack." came the careful words from the other side of Mt. End of Year Paperwork.
"My hand cramped."
"I thought everyone from the future was ambidextrous? That's what you said last week." Gwen broke in, straightening up so that just her fringe and eyes were visible.
"I was just thinking." he admitted. Two pairs of eyes peered at him for a moment and then went down. The sound of scribbling resumed. Jack was never sure if it was a sign of dysfunctionalness or respect that no one ever asked what people were thinking about when they admitted as much. It's not like anyone would have been surprised by the answer. "Either of you have plans for Christmas?"
A poignant silence filled the spaces between them. Well, the bits not taken up with paperwork.
"Rhys and I are just having a quiet one. He got one of those Turducken things from Aldi last week and it's all he's been able to talk about."
"A turducken?" Ianto asked, putting his pen down and leaning back with his mug of tea. It was clearly break time.
"A boned and rolled turkey stuffed with a boned and rolled duck stuffed with a boned and rolled chicken." Jack answered, grabbing his own coffee. Ianto just looked amused.
"Couldn't they have fit something else in there? Like a pigeon?"
"And then a quail" Gwen joined in, a smile spreading across her face.
"Is a wood pigeon smaller then a quail?" Jack asked, laughing.
"God, don't tell Rhys any of this! He already thinks this thing is perfection in a roasting pan!"
"Mum's the word. What about you Ianto? Any plans?" Ianto spread his hands.
"I rather thought I'd be doing paperwork. Maybe get a festive chinese. Splurge and get the little mini spring rolls."
"Come on now Ianto, you know I'm not going to let you do any work if you come in." Jack teased. A mischievous look appeared on Ianto's face.
"Well then, I'm not really sure there is much point in me coming in."
"I'd yell at you two to get a room, but I'm clearly outnumbered and I'm worried you'd just ask me to join in." Gwen interrupted. Jack stood up and stretched.
"Right kids, we're not going to get any more done today. Nine am tomorrow and I promise we'll all finish by dinner time." Gwen smiled gratefully.
"Are you heading home Ianto?" she asked, grabbing her jacket and getting ready for a hurried exit. "No point in taking two cars if you are." Ianto waved her off with a handful of mugs.
"I'll finish the washing up and check the Rift monitor. That high level with nothing happening is bothering me."
"Don't work too late! I always feel guilty about heading home with you still here. Goodnight boys!" she yelled out over the sound of the cogs closing. They waited for a count of twenty before sitting down and picking up pens again.
"Thanks again for this Ianto." A hand waved over the top of the paperwork.
"I'll just be happy to see the back end of it. And it's not like the houseplants will miss me."
"No, but the greenhouse ones would sure like to see you again soon."
"Paperwork" Ianto replied in a firm tone.
"I'm sure that..."
"Paperwork. I'm not sleeping in that hole in the ground you call a bunk room for no good reason."
"Oh I do love it when..."
"Jack. I'm serious. Please. I just want to finish this paperwork and get to sleep." Jack sighed inwardly. It was always like this around paperwork time. Ianto was on a personal mission to make sure every form was filled out correctly, like a particularly OCD Santa looking over his lists.
"You need a break."
"I'll take one once this is done."
"I was hoping you might go out and get some food."
"They can deliver" Jack realised it was time to deploy Ianto Out of Hub tactic #4
"I have coupons." There was silence from the other side of the paperwork. "They're for collection only". A sigh.
"Right, hand them over." Jack tried not to make a satisfied noise as he put them inside the folder for the application for extension of permission to hold an exotic animal and placed it on top of the pile. Ianto shuffled on his winter jacket.
"Do you want anything from the Metros while I'm out?"
"Do they do those little cheesy poppyseed twirl things?"
"M&S."
"Damn." He was rewarded with a Ianto smile.
"I'll see you in twenty minutes." Jack listened as the cogs once again opened and closed and the hub was suddenly restored to its nighttime restful peace. He regretted he wasn't able to give any of them the Christmas they deserved. Gwen would get two days off, baring the end of the world, but Ianto had steadfast refused Jack's request that he take time to go visit his family. It was a Torchwood statistic that the time when things happened was when only one person was available to respond to them. Next year Jack. I've already told them that we're short staffed and that I won't be coming down. It broke Jack's heart to think that Ianto was giving up family for the job. For him, for country, for the world. In his steadfast attempt to keep Gwen and her family together, he had sacrificed Ianto. He hoped he had made the right choice. His phone rang.
"Sir."
"Ianto, don't tell me you forgot what I normally have!"
"No sir, we appear to have a bit of a situation." Jack sat up and began to walk towards his coat.
"Weevil?"
"No, but I believe I've found out where that extra rift energy is going."
"Oh?" Jack replied, jostling the greatcoat on.
"The giant tree next to water tower is crying, Sir."
* * *
Ianto Jones and Jack Harkness stood on a perfectly clear winter night and listened to a giant fir cry.
"Jack..."
"At least we know where the extra rift energy has been going. This tree has been up for most of the month."
"I didn't know it was possible for the Rift to give life to something."
"How do you think the Snowman came to life?"
"What, as in the Raymond Briggs depressing ending Snowman?"
"No matter how much Retcon we gave him, he never forgot that night."
"Does retcon work on crying christmas trees in the middle of the plas?"
"This isn't covered anywhere. You're guess is as good as mine."
"I really have more experience being on the other side of this."
"Your resume didn't mention any experience of being a giant crying tree."
"I simply meant that I don't usually do the comforting."
"You mean that you cry like a little girl" Jack teased. Ianto shuffled from foot to foot to keep warm and ignored Jack.
"Umm...Hello Tree?" Ianto said cautiously. The sobbing abated slightly. Jack gestured for him to continue. "Is there something we can help you with?"
Are you a family?
They felt the words rather then heard them, a simple warm and peaceful presence. It was one of the most unsettling feelings they'd ever felt.
"We're in a relationship.." Ianto replied. If it was possible, the tree blushed.
Are you a family?
"Why does it matter if we're a family?" Jack interrupted. There was a pause.
Every tree needs a family.
"Why?"
Are you a family?
"No Tree," Jack replied. "We're not a family." The sobbing resumed, complete with rustling branches.
"Oh nicely done Jack!" Ianto said as he crossed closer to the tree. He wrapped his arms around the base and rested his cheek against the truck. "Can't you tell it's upset?"
Why are you not family?
"Why do you need a family?" Jack asked, still not quite believing he was seeing Ianto hugging a tree.
It's my purpose. I must have a family to bring them joy and protect their presents from anyone who might take them.
"And here I thought your had something to do with honoring the birth of Jesus and Pagan rituals." The tree's crying had gradually subsided under Ianto's hug and now, if it was possible, it's attitude had turned frosty. Ianto felt the change in attitude and carefully pulled away, brushing a few dropped needles from his coat.
It is, perhaps, a more modern interpretation. Traditions change. Children would understand.
"Isn't the whole city of Cardiff enough? You bring a lot of joy to people down here in the bay." Jack tried. The entire tree rustled.
There must be dinner. There must be crackers. There must be presents. There must be children.
"What if we can't do that for you?" Ianto asked.
My crying can get louder.
"Torchwood doesn't deal with blackmailers." Jack replied, his voice getting a tinge of harshness in it. There was a marked change in attitude from the tree. It appeared defeated.
I apologise. I am simply lonely.
"I need to have a word with Ianto." Jack gestured Ianto ordered and they walked down the plas slowly.
"We can't ignore the situation, Jack"
"Agreed," Ianto nodded, his hands shoved deep in his pockets for warmth. "But Ianto, we can't give it all the things it wants."
"Why not?"
"Because..." But the fact of the matter was, he couldn't think of a particularly good reason. They had presents for each other, they were going to have dinner anyhow, and he was sure that if anyone could find crackers somewhere in Cardiff on Christmas even, it would be Ianto. . "What about the children? We don't have any of those kicking around."
"We'll just have to do the best we can." They turned to look at the beautiful tree, it's lights twinkling against the the copper facing of the Millennium Centre. "It's just lonely Jack." Jack reached into Ianto's pocket and gave his hand a squeeze. They understood.
"Let's go tell our seasonal guest the good news then"
* * *
Author: flatlanddan
Prompt: Christmas Tree (written for tw_calender)
Rating: R (for language)
Characters: Team, Rhys, minor OC
Thanks to randommagic for beta reading this one Christmas Eve. Best. Wife. Ever.
Christmas, Jack Harkness mused, was never going to be a particularly happy affair for anyone working for Torchwood. He had thought about asking Ianto what they had done at Torchwood One to celebrate but then decided that was in exceptionally poor taste, even for him. They had tried a Christmas party last year when it had been the five of them but he couldn't help but think that everyone had been relieved when a Weevil had been reported at Winter Wonderland. Well, you did deliver on the food, ice skating and drinks Harkness Owen had said with a laugh as they ate McDonalds in the SUV on St. Mary's Street. It had been four am and the funniest thing in the world was Ianto trying to wring the mulled wine out of his tie and into Owen's coke.
But that was last year and this year...he looked up from what had once been Owen's desk and over the field of paperwork. He could just make out the top of Ianto's head but Gwen was buried from sight.
"You've stopped signing things Jack." came the careful words from the other side of Mt. End of Year Paperwork.
"My hand cramped."
"I thought everyone from the future was ambidextrous? That's what you said last week." Gwen broke in, straightening up so that just her fringe and eyes were visible.
"I was just thinking." he admitted. Two pairs of eyes peered at him for a moment and then went down. The sound of scribbling resumed. Jack was never sure if it was a sign of dysfunctionalness or respect that no one ever asked what people were thinking about when they admitted as much. It's not like anyone would have been surprised by the answer. "Either of you have plans for Christmas?"
A poignant silence filled the spaces between them. Well, the bits not taken up with paperwork.
"Rhys and I are just having a quiet one. He got one of those Turducken things from Aldi last week and it's all he's been able to talk about."
"A turducken?" Ianto asked, putting his pen down and leaning back with his mug of tea. It was clearly break time.
"A boned and rolled turkey stuffed with a boned and rolled duck stuffed with a boned and rolled chicken." Jack answered, grabbing his own coffee. Ianto just looked amused.
"Couldn't they have fit something else in there? Like a pigeon?"
"And then a quail" Gwen joined in, a smile spreading across her face.
"Is a wood pigeon smaller then a quail?" Jack asked, laughing.
"God, don't tell Rhys any of this! He already thinks this thing is perfection in a roasting pan!"
"Mum's the word. What about you Ianto? Any plans?" Ianto spread his hands.
"I rather thought I'd be doing paperwork. Maybe get a festive chinese. Splurge and get the little mini spring rolls."
"Come on now Ianto, you know I'm not going to let you do any work if you come in." Jack teased. A mischievous look appeared on Ianto's face.
"Well then, I'm not really sure there is much point in me coming in."
"I'd yell at you two to get a room, but I'm clearly outnumbered and I'm worried you'd just ask me to join in." Gwen interrupted. Jack stood up and stretched.
"Right kids, we're not going to get any more done today. Nine am tomorrow and I promise we'll all finish by dinner time." Gwen smiled gratefully.
"Are you heading home Ianto?" she asked, grabbing her jacket and getting ready for a hurried exit. "No point in taking two cars if you are." Ianto waved her off with a handful of mugs.
"I'll finish the washing up and check the Rift monitor. That high level with nothing happening is bothering me."
"Don't work too late! I always feel guilty about heading home with you still here. Goodnight boys!" she yelled out over the sound of the cogs closing. They waited for a count of twenty before sitting down and picking up pens again.
"Thanks again for this Ianto." A hand waved over the top of the paperwork.
"I'll just be happy to see the back end of it. And it's not like the houseplants will miss me."
"No, but the greenhouse ones would sure like to see you again soon."
"Paperwork" Ianto replied in a firm tone.
"I'm sure that..."
"Paperwork. I'm not sleeping in that hole in the ground you call a bunk room for no good reason."
"Oh I do love it when..."
"Jack. I'm serious. Please. I just want to finish this paperwork and get to sleep." Jack sighed inwardly. It was always like this around paperwork time. Ianto was on a personal mission to make sure every form was filled out correctly, like a particularly OCD Santa looking over his lists.
"You need a break."
"I'll take one once this is done."
"I was hoping you might go out and get some food."
"They can deliver" Jack realised it was time to deploy Ianto Out of Hub tactic #4
"I have coupons." There was silence from the other side of the paperwork. "They're for collection only". A sigh.
"Right, hand them over." Jack tried not to make a satisfied noise as he put them inside the folder for the application for extension of permission to hold an exotic animal and placed it on top of the pile. Ianto shuffled on his winter jacket.
"Do you want anything from the Metros while I'm out?"
"Do they do those little cheesy poppyseed twirl things?"
"M&S."
"Damn." He was rewarded with a Ianto smile.
"I'll see you in twenty minutes." Jack listened as the cogs once again opened and closed and the hub was suddenly restored to its nighttime restful peace. He regretted he wasn't able to give any of them the Christmas they deserved. Gwen would get two days off, baring the end of the world, but Ianto had steadfast refused Jack's request that he take time to go visit his family. It was a Torchwood statistic that the time when things happened was when only one person was available to respond to them. Next year Jack. I've already told them that we're short staffed and that I won't be coming down. It broke Jack's heart to think that Ianto was giving up family for the job. For him, for country, for the world. In his steadfast attempt to keep Gwen and her family together, he had sacrificed Ianto. He hoped he had made the right choice. His phone rang.
"Sir."
"Ianto, don't tell me you forgot what I normally have!"
"No sir, we appear to have a bit of a situation." Jack sat up and began to walk towards his coat.
"Weevil?"
"No, but I believe I've found out where that extra rift energy is going."
"Oh?" Jack replied, jostling the greatcoat on.
"The giant tree next to water tower is crying, Sir."
* * *
Ianto Jones and Jack Harkness stood on a perfectly clear winter night and listened to a giant fir cry.
"Jack..."
"At least we know where the extra rift energy has been going. This tree has been up for most of the month."
"I didn't know it was possible for the Rift to give life to something."
"How do you think the Snowman came to life?"
"What, as in the Raymond Briggs depressing ending Snowman?"
"No matter how much Retcon we gave him, he never forgot that night."
"Does retcon work on crying christmas trees in the middle of the plas?"
"This isn't covered anywhere. You're guess is as good as mine."
"I really have more experience being on the other side of this."
"Your resume didn't mention any experience of being a giant crying tree."
"I simply meant that I don't usually do the comforting."
"You mean that you cry like a little girl" Jack teased. Ianto shuffled from foot to foot to keep warm and ignored Jack.
"Umm...Hello Tree?" Ianto said cautiously. The sobbing abated slightly. Jack gestured for him to continue. "Is there something we can help you with?"
Are you a family?
They felt the words rather then heard them, a simple warm and peaceful presence. It was one of the most unsettling feelings they'd ever felt.
"We're in a relationship.." Ianto replied. If it was possible, the tree blushed.
Are you a family?
"Why does it matter if we're a family?" Jack interrupted. There was a pause.
Every tree needs a family.
"Why?"
Are you a family?
"No Tree," Jack replied. "We're not a family." The sobbing resumed, complete with rustling branches.
"Oh nicely done Jack!" Ianto said as he crossed closer to the tree. He wrapped his arms around the base and rested his cheek against the truck. "Can't you tell it's upset?"
Why are you not family?
"Why do you need a family?" Jack asked, still not quite believing he was seeing Ianto hugging a tree.
It's my purpose. I must have a family to bring them joy and protect their presents from anyone who might take them.
"And here I thought your had something to do with honoring the birth of Jesus and Pagan rituals." The tree's crying had gradually subsided under Ianto's hug and now, if it was possible, it's attitude had turned frosty. Ianto felt the change in attitude and carefully pulled away, brushing a few dropped needles from his coat.
It is, perhaps, a more modern interpretation. Traditions change. Children would understand.
"Isn't the whole city of Cardiff enough? You bring a lot of joy to people down here in the bay." Jack tried. The entire tree rustled.
There must be dinner. There must be crackers. There must be presents. There must be children.
"What if we can't do that for you?" Ianto asked.
My crying can get louder.
"Torchwood doesn't deal with blackmailers." Jack replied, his voice getting a tinge of harshness in it. There was a marked change in attitude from the tree. It appeared defeated.
I apologise. I am simply lonely.
"I need to have a word with Ianto." Jack gestured Ianto ordered and they walked down the plas slowly.
"We can't ignore the situation, Jack"
"Agreed," Ianto nodded, his hands shoved deep in his pockets for warmth. "But Ianto, we can't give it all the things it wants."
"Why not?"
"Because..." But the fact of the matter was, he couldn't think of a particularly good reason. They had presents for each other, they were going to have dinner anyhow, and he was sure that if anyone could find crackers somewhere in Cardiff on Christmas even, it would be Ianto. . "What about the children? We don't have any of those kicking around."
"We'll just have to do the best we can." They turned to look at the beautiful tree, it's lights twinkling against the the copper facing of the Millennium Centre. "It's just lonely Jack." Jack reached into Ianto's pocket and gave his hand a squeeze. They understood.
"Let's go tell our seasonal guest the good news then"
* * *