Raccoon Story

[flatulentfox]

I just remembered a weird story about one of my dad's little "adventures". When I was about 6 years old, two of my uncles used to live with us. One day, my dad shot a raccoon, and immediately decided to have some "fun" with it. (And by "fun" I do not mean have sex with it). He got a rope, attached it to the dead raccoon's neck, and tied it onto the

Comments

SEX FARM

[anonymous]

Let's rock and roll
Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
And poking your hay.

Scratching in your henhouse
Sniffing at your feedbag
Slipping out your back door
I'm leaving my spray.

Sex farm woman
I'm gonna mow you down
Sex farm woman
I'll rake and mow you down.
Sex farm woman
Don't you see my silo risin' high.

Working on a sex farm
Hosing down your barn door
Bothering your livestock
They know what I need.

Working up a hot sweat
I'm scratching in your pea patch
Plowing through your bean field
Planting my seed.

Sex farm woman
I'll be your hired hand
Sex farm woman
I'll let my offer stand
Sex farm woman
Don't you feel my tractor rumbling by
By - by - byyyy.

Working on a sex farm
Wolfing down some cornbread
I'm turning on the TV
Joining the grange.

Abortion

[anonymous]

Your mom consulted me about her having an abortion. I told her it wouldn't work since you're already 18 years old. "You're just too late," I said. "But why the fuck did you just think of it now. "

Talking Heads

[anonymous]

POPSICLE

I'm hanging round the airport
I'm waiting for the plane
Mmmmm - something sweet and sticky
Runnin'down my hand

Popsicle of love
Gimme gimme gimme one of those
(It's summertime, boy!)
coconut delight
Honey honey honey don't let go
(It's summertime, love)

Mmm - a kinky little sister
Mmm - a-wearin' rubber gloves
A sexual health emergency
A copulation fantasy
You and me, ecstasy
Hate to be reality

Popsicle of love
Gimme gimme gimme one of those (hoo!)
(It's summertime, boy!)
I'm taking off my clothes
Honey honey honey don't let go
(It's summertime, love)

Ask - it shall be given
Pay - and ye shall receive
Cigarettes and pantyhose
Hit me in the funnybone
Hynie hole Tootsie roll
Jelly roll Time to go

Popsicle of love
Gimme gimme gimme one of those
(It's summertime, boy!)
coconut delight
Honey honey honey don't let go
(It's summertime, love)

I'm throwing up my hands
Buddy buddy - what's wrong with you
(t's summertime, boy!)
I'm blowing up my mind
Lemme lemme see what I can do
(It's summertime, boy!)