A question to which I don't know the answer

[fleeblewidget]

Today, in between many, many other things, I had debate with a friend of a boyfriend about explicit versus general acceptance, viz, the relative merits of saying that you are tolerant of gays/bisexuals/catholics/etc against just saying that you are tolerant and leaving it at that. Or even not bothering to say it and expecting or hoping that people

Comments

[mpettitt]

It's like the phrase "just friends" - what's wrong with being friends?

[scatmania]

Yes! This! Grr, I hate that phrase, even when I catch myself saying it.

On the other hand, it sometimes has it's place. It's implied that you're friends with your partners, so if somebody asks of you "Are you and X together?" your options are:

1. "No." - sadly quite terse and might be interpreted as "Not in a million years!"

2. "No, we're friends." - "We're friends" is redundant: they know that you're friends, or else they wouldn't have guessed at you *also* being lovers.

3. "No, we're just friends." - Resolves the redundancy of case #2 without resorting to case #1.

So I can see why it remains popular.

[ich_bin_die_ruh]

I've been wondering that for years. It seems rather odd to be proud of something you were born with anyway, like being proud of having a full complement of limbs. I had a friend in an orchestra years ago who was proud of her achievement in coming out to her very traditional family and helping others who were having great difficulty, and that makes more sense to me. Maybe that's what the pride people are getting at, that in general it takes a lot of courage and potential loss to be openly different in society and they're proud to have overcome their fear.

[mpettitt]

That would certainly make more sense, wouldn't it... Shouldn't be the case - society should accept people for who they are, in an ideal world...

[ich_bin_die_ruh]

I'm bored of 'should's. Many things should be and aren't. Do your bit to make it so and I'll do mine and that's the way most things change. However much may still need to be done, our society is already unrecognisably mixed compared to how it was very recently in historical terms, and that is not generally because of major revolutions but because individuals have moved quietly on in their own lives and taught the next generation to do the same, so things are changing all the time. Optimism.

[scatmania]

That's a good answer. I'm yet to see anybody who's "#{minority} and proud!" who isn't out-of-the-closet about being #{minority}.