Day Twelve
Today they needed a volunteer that "wouldn't mind if people laughed at them". Everyone looked at me, so I was unanimously chosen to waste ten minutes outside of the classroom. They made me return a movie to the media center, and while there I chatted it up with one of the librarians. I told her how the marching band did, and that I was accepted at Wartburg. She congratulated me on both accounts, and told me I better hurry off to class before I was late. So I decided to while away my time by getting a drink from every water fountain I passed, which eventuall led to my having to go to the bathroom. I did my thing, washed my hands, fixed my hair a little, then continued on at a snail's pace. As I made it to the top floor, I noticed one of my classmates rush into the room with a digital camera saying, "He's at the end of the hall!" This immediately made me wary of the goings-on, as nothing can ever bode well with a camera in the class room. Eventually I was stopped at the door by Becker, and all she told me was, "The class has decided that they want you to do something. They'll let you know if you're getting close by telling you "hot" or "cold". That's all I'm allowed to tell you; you need to figure out the rest by yourself."
Always one for a challenge, yet totally confused, I stepped into the room. Immediately, everyone was shouting "WARM WARM WARM", which turned to "HOT HOT HOT" as I stepped in front of the recycling bin. Common sense told me they wouldn't, but I had to try it out: I stepped into the recycling bin, amidst much cheering. But I wasn't done.
I tried to hop the recycling bin forward, while still inside of it. In slow motion, I could feel myself falling forward, so I jerked my body back to straighten myself out. I could feel it not working, and eventually I fell to the ground, to which the class burst into laughter. Mrs Becker, the ever sympathetic one, briefly came out of the corner to see if I was alright. After finding out yes indeed I was alright, she went back to the corner to observe. I reset myself, hopped to the middle of the room where I was told to stop. And I wasn't done.
It suddenly was really hot in the room, and I wiped the sweat from my forehead and the back of my neck, where the class shouted "WARM!" I started moving my other hand up, which was also "WARM WARM!!" Ten minutes into the experiment, I'm standing in a recycling bin in the middle of the room, with a sore wrist, one hand on the back of my neck, the other hand in the air about shoulder height. Unsure of what to do, I stood there, staring at my hand, trying to think of what people were trying to make me do. They started yelling at me to move my hand, so I tried to move it around, all met with "COLD COLD COLD!!!" One girl says, "You've moved your hand in every possible direction except one!" So I moved my hand back toward my body, where I went from warm to hot very quickly. I adjusted the other hand to be symetrical, and now I had wings. But I still wasn't done.
"Think of what you are!" they shouted at me. My first thought was, "I'm an idiot for getting myself into this," followed closely by, "I'm retarded... I'm standing in a recycling bin, with wings, in the middle of the room, and I don't know what to do next."
"Start saying random words!" they shouted later, so I started with bird, followed by eagle, sparrow, raven, pigeon, and chicken, which were all birds, the last one being "HOT HOT!!" In desperation and confusion, I started flapping my wings ("HOT HOT HOT!!"), thinking of things related to chickens. All I could think of was "potatoes," which somehow was related. At this point, we were twenty minutes into the experiment, more than double the average time of anyone who has ever done this. This adds undue pressure to me, because now I feel extra stupid.
"Think fast food!" they shouted at me. KFC? "COLD!" Burger King? "COLD!" McDonalds? "ZOMG HOT HOT HOT!!!"
At this point, I've narrowed it down to this:
-- I need to be in a recycling bin
-- In the middle of the room
-- Flapping my wings
-- Singing something related to chicken, potatoes, and McDonalds
If you've figured it out at this point, you are much smarter than me. If not, stay tuned.
First song that popped into my head was that stupid "A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut" song. Thankfully, it wasn't that. I slowly realized what it was I had to do, after much frantic flapping and "Oh my God, he's so stupid!" from the rest of the class.
"Old MacDonald had a farm..." The class cheered. But I wasn't quite done yet.
"E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a chicken, E-I-E-I-O.
With a BRRAAWWWKK!! here, and a BRRAAWWWKK!! there,
Here a BRRAAWWWKK!!, there a BRRAAWWWKK!!,
Everywhere a BRRAAWWWKK!!
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!"
For my efforts, I got two Tootsie Rolls, which I gladly ate not to long ago.
Last year, they made the valedictorian canoe on his butt down the middle of the class room singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". He did it in just over 15 minutes. I took nearly 25 minutes to figure mine out. I kicked the recycling bin in frustration.
Ramadan was good to me today. As much as I love Italian Dunkers, I had much more fun reading the comics and making fun of other people while waiting for choir to start. I'm also kind of getting sick of updating daily about Ramadan, but I feel that people will think I'm cheating if I don't update, thus the lame Ramadan posts for the ensuing 30 days.
Always one for a challenge, yet totally confused, I stepped into the room. Immediately, everyone was shouting "WARM WARM WARM", which turned to "HOT HOT HOT" as I stepped in front of the recycling bin. Common sense told me they wouldn't, but I had to try it out: I stepped into the recycling bin, amidst much cheering. But I wasn't done.
I tried to hop the recycling bin forward, while still inside of it. In slow motion, I could feel myself falling forward, so I jerked my body back to straighten myself out. I could feel it not working, and eventually I fell to the ground, to which the class burst into laughter. Mrs Becker, the ever sympathetic one, briefly came out of the corner to see if I was alright. After finding out yes indeed I was alright, she went back to the corner to observe. I reset myself, hopped to the middle of the room where I was told to stop. And I wasn't done.
It suddenly was really hot in the room, and I wiped the sweat from my forehead and the back of my neck, where the class shouted "WARM!" I started moving my other hand up, which was also "WARM WARM!!" Ten minutes into the experiment, I'm standing in a recycling bin in the middle of the room, with a sore wrist, one hand on the back of my neck, the other hand in the air about shoulder height. Unsure of what to do, I stood there, staring at my hand, trying to think of what people were trying to make me do. They started yelling at me to move my hand, so I tried to move it around, all met with "COLD COLD COLD!!!" One girl says, "You've moved your hand in every possible direction except one!" So I moved my hand back toward my body, where I went from warm to hot very quickly. I adjusted the other hand to be symetrical, and now I had wings. But I still wasn't done.
"Think of what you are!" they shouted at me. My first thought was, "I'm an idiot for getting myself into this," followed closely by, "I'm retarded... I'm standing in a recycling bin, with wings, in the middle of the room, and I don't know what to do next."
"Start saying random words!" they shouted later, so I started with bird, followed by eagle, sparrow, raven, pigeon, and chicken, which were all birds, the last one being "HOT HOT!!" In desperation and confusion, I started flapping my wings ("HOT HOT HOT!!"), thinking of things related to chickens. All I could think of was "potatoes," which somehow was related. At this point, we were twenty minutes into the experiment, more than double the average time of anyone who has ever done this. This adds undue pressure to me, because now I feel extra stupid.
"Think fast food!" they shouted at me. KFC? "COLD!" Burger King? "COLD!" McDonalds? "ZOMG HOT HOT HOT!!!"
At this point, I've narrowed it down to this:
-- I need to be in a recycling bin
-- In the middle of the room
-- Flapping my wings
-- Singing something related to chicken, potatoes, and McDonalds
If you've figured it out at this point, you are much smarter than me. If not, stay tuned.
First song that popped into my head was that stupid "A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut" song. Thankfully, it wasn't that. I slowly realized what it was I had to do, after much frantic flapping and "Oh my God, he's so stupid!" from the rest of the class.
"Old MacDonald had a farm..." The class cheered. But I wasn't quite done yet.
"E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a chicken, E-I-E-I-O.
With a BRRAAWWWKK!! here, and a BRRAAWWWKK!! there,
Here a BRRAAWWWKK!!, there a BRRAAWWWKK!!,
Everywhere a BRRAAWWWKK!!
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!"
For my efforts, I got two Tootsie Rolls, which I gladly ate not to long ago.
Last year, they made the valedictorian canoe on his butt down the middle of the class room singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". He did it in just over 15 minutes. I took nearly 25 minutes to figure mine out. I kicked the recycling bin in frustration.
Ramadan was good to me today. As much as I love Italian Dunkers, I had much more fun reading the comics and making fun of other people while waiting for choir to start. I'm also kind of getting sick of updating daily about Ramadan, but I feel that people will think I'm cheating if I don't update, thus the lame Ramadan posts for the ensuing 30 days.