I get in these moods to write and then as soon as the screen comes up, my train of thought decides to de-rail....hence the reason I am always rambling....I suppose its ok since no one reads this damn thing anyway....I am, however, a little worried about my man....there are a whole bunch of lay offs going on at his work right now and he finds out ( Read more... )

Today, I am happy....well, I havent felt like crying....we went to Rosewaters last night for dinner and it was by far, the fanciest place I have ever been for dinner, I felt like I was in a movie, and I felt extremely out of place, but it was fun....our fucken apartment flooded this weekend and the super came today and just shrugged his shoulders ( Read more... )

I havent the foggiest where to begin, once again I am overcome by sadness....I wonder if I am ever going to be happy again....I have way too much time on my hands.....I think too much and I am starting to fear my own thoughts....I can only busy myself with other things for so long, until the thoughts come rushing back....I often find myself trying ( Read more... )

I am one frustrated individual....I feel so incredibly sick today, the waves of nausea are confining me to my house....I attempted exercising and had to stop since I felt so sick.....I hate feeling like this, I feel fine besides that....grrrrrr, its so annoying.....I havent seen my boyfriend since last night and I miss him terribly, I hate sleeping ( Read more... )

I am, for once, in a good mood, even the stupid individual who, so rudely interupted my music therapy, couldn't put a damper on my mood today.....it feels great, even though my back is still sore, I will not let anything ruin my mood today....I am determined to prove to Kevin that I can still be happy.....I called a potential contact for a job ( Read more... )

And now to continue on with my angry ramblings..... I sit here and ponder why people do what they do? Such a broad subject....I am so angry on so many different levels....so angry it hurts.....to see the people around me hurting so.....and its all brought on by the damned society we live in.....my love is hurting and there is nothing I can do ( Read more... )

It really baffles me how society can be so unbelieveably selfish....some people are so manipulative....I realize that we all have some tendancy to be that way some times, but to be that way all the time and be proud of it, is beyond me....

I suppose I dont have alot to say right now, but I can always ramble....I would have added a "lol" however, I dont much feel like laughing....I am stressed, at the same time I feel numb....I think Kevin has decided to take to filling his time with other things, so he wont have to spend as much time with me....I suppose I cant be mad about it, ( Read more... )

Well....I have come to my wits end....I put out 20 resumes a day and so far I have had one phone call....and he hasnt called back....figures, on a brighter note though....I just ran out of money and then I get a card in the mail from my dad, and theres money in it....whew, that will tide me over for at least a week.....and I am giving half of it to ( Read more... )

I wrote a whole spiel earlier, and the stupid computer decided to crash....so i am going to try again....even though i haven't the foggiest what I wrote earlier.....anyway, I will start with how I am feeling I am so sad, I need a job so bad and I feel so horrible for living off of Kevin, he reassures me all the time that we are fine and we will ( Read more... )