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[fleshballoon]

Um, well, so, I had another dream about The Other Boy. I don't remember if it was in this or glass_umbrella, or anywhere, that I mentioned the last two. The one before he was not exactly playing hard-to-get, more like the place we were in kept changing so everytime we came close there was no way to get through. And the first one was, we were just

Comments

[cantonian]

wow, that was intense. maybe you could research some of your symptoms online. just a thought, why don't you let the other boy know how you feel, and based on his reaction you could always cover it up with, but that was then this is now, or even though i have these feelings i'm going to be civil.

[fleshballoon]

I imagine I'm going to have to tell him at some point. It's so scary to think of, though!! I thought I could get over it, and I even stopped thinking about him so much, but he's just coming up in my dreams and it's really annoying. I don't like the thought of other people influencing my emotions and thoughts so strongly.

I'm thinking my depression is probably a mix of chemical and environmental factors. Since I don't think I'm in much danger of hurting myself, I'm trying to just wait it out. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist soon, anyway.

Thank you for replying. I got only one comment on my last post on bp, which kind of hurt my feelings, even if it is only the internet. And thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it.

[cantonian]

dude, i left bp coz i posted once in a blue moon and in my last post i was feeling angry/tired/annoyed whatever and i said here's a tip... etc. the firt comment i recieved was "people on here don't want tips" or something similar. i was like wtf this whole community is about sharing support and wannarexics lurking around like me obviously want to hear stuff like that. ffs so instead i deleted the post and left. lol end rant

[fleshballoon]

wow, yeah. bp really seems to pride itself on being more logical and smart than other ed-comms, but really it's just more snobby. ohh wellll. I kind of want to piss off the mods just so I can be cleverer than them, and also be like, "wow, a lolcat. great comeback."