Christmas Ficlets: SPN crossover
Many thanks to everyone who offered advice, support and a friendly ear during my freak-out last night - I'm very grateful. ♥
However, apparently I'm not grateful enough to have managed the SPN/Lost Boys crossover that was requested. I did try, honestly. But then I babysat for one of my friends and we watched Labyrinth and I ended up writing this.
Rated roughly pg (maybe a little higher) and contains implied Dean/Jareth and Sam/Jareth. This is crack, people, and has no redeeming literary merit. But it was very fun to write. :)
"Nice of you to make an appearance," says Sam as a staircase floats by. "I was starting to think you'd left me to the goblins. Eight minutes left on the clock."
Dean peers across the yawning, Escheresque space of the heart of Jareth's palace. He tightens his grip on his shotgun and leapfrogs between the drifting pieces of architecture towards Sam.
"Got held up," Dean grunts, clambering up onto a stone arch and assessing his next move. He glances towards Sam again briefly, to make sure he's heading in the right direction, then stops abruptly. He frowns at Sam. "Dude, what the hell are you wearing? Is that…"
Sam flushes and smoothes down his red and white striped romper suit.
"It's very comfortable actually. I think it's part of the whole 'stolen by the goblins' deal." He scowls as Dean snorts with laughter. "Hey! Jareth must have gone to some trouble to get one in my size! He must've ordered it online or something!"
As Dean makes the final leap to land on the same chunk of rock that Sam is currently standing on, the room swings back into one coherent whole. They glance about to check that nothing is about to go flying off again. Sam puts down the glass globe he's been entertaining himself with while he waited for Dean and starts to head towards the door.
"Jareth now, is it?" says Dean, eyebrow raised meaningfully. "Nice."
"You're the one who gave me to him, Dean. I was just being friendly."
Dean follows close behind as Sam tries to navigate his way back through the palace towards the gate to the goblin city. He's not trying to upset Dean because he's pretty sure the whole thing is an honest accident - not like Dean's going to sell his soul for something and then promptly hand it over to goblins - but Sam believes in giving blame where it's due.
"How the hell was I supposed to know there actually was a goblin king? Let alone that he had a freaking mancrush on me. Though…" Dean cocks his head and considers a moment, "I guess I should have seen that part coming."
"What the fuck were you doing saying The Words, anyway? It's not like you can accidentally string together 'I wish the goblins would come and take my brother away right now'! It's kind of a specific format."
Dean has the good grace to look slightly ashamed for all of a moment.
"It was worth a go," he mutters. "You'd been in the shower so long the water was gonna be arctic by the time I got in there."
The goblins are gone from the throne room, even if their mess remains. Sam pauses halfway across to remove a few smelly chicken feathers that are clinging to his romper suit. He's very conscious of Dean watching him and smirking.
"Y'know, if you'd cut it much later," he says, "I'd probably be a goblin by now. See how you'd like that!"
Dean takes point, edging to the doorway and peering both ways, shotgun ready, before he beckons Sam to come after him into the city.
"Yeah? Would you be a short fat green goblin, or the hot kind like Jareth?"
Sam pads across the cobbles, through the narrow streets where the squat houses lean drunkenly towards one another, and he wonders where all the goblins have gone. He catches what Dean has said and jogs to catch up with him.
"Oh yeah, you think he's hot. I saw you slutting it up with Jareth at that party thing, man. Nice to know getting laid by goblin kings rates higher than getting me out of the Labyrinth. I'm really touched by your concern."
Flashing a bad-tempered look back over his shoulder, Dean snaps, "Hey, I was roofied! That little guy gave me a cheeseburger and next thing I know, I'm at some weirdass party and Jareth's getting all bump and grind." He stops so abruptly Sam almost walks into the back of him. There's a tightness about his shoulders and he turns all the way round to look at Sam. "Wait, you saw that?"
Sam allows himself the smuggest, evilest grin ever and lets out a little contented breath at the wide-eyed, open-mouthed look of horror that appears on Dean's face.
"Your dress was really pretty, man," he says sweetly. "And I just loved how you'd done your make-up."
Dean struggles for words for a long minute and finally manages, "Romper suit!" He punctuates this with a wavery finger pointed in Sam's direction.
"Hey, c'mere." Sam leans in and rubs the pad of his thumb along Dean's brow. "I think you've still got some glitter…"
Irritably, Dean pushes him away and Sam staggers back against a huge, randomly placed rock, still laughing.
It's warm outside, the sun is a rosy glow in the sky, and whereas the soles of Sam's romper suit are getting filthy from walking through goblin muck, the suit is pretty comfortable and not at all cold. He fiddles with the crotch fastening, just so he knows what he's up against before he decides he needs to piss.
They reach the edge of the city and Sam's slightly taken aback by the still steaming, massive fragments of metal wreckage that are strewn about the ground. He casts a glance at Dean who is checking the way is clear through a gaping hole in the rough-hewn stone wall. Dean sees him look and grins.
"Motherfucking mechanical robot thing."
Sam picks his way through the debris. He has to watch where he's putting his feet because there are sharp metal edges all over the place and his romper suit isn't much protection against that. He's pretty sure the goblins were carrying all kinds of nasty infectious diseases. Still, he's impressed that Dean handled what must have been a freaking huge robot.
"How did you get past it?" he says.
Having had enough of Sam's dawdling, Dean catches him by the shoulder and propels him through the hole.
"Same way I handled the Labyrinth."
"Which was?" Sam starts to ask but then he catches sight of the Labyrinth and his jaw drops. His hands come up to his temples as if his head is going to explode at any minute. "Oh my God! Dean! What the hell have you done?"
Dean shrugs and starts off again.
"Few well placed explosives. Really took the hassle out of getting through the Labyrinth. Whoever designed this place deserves a good ass-kicking."
Sam stares at the series of holes running through the walls of the Labyrinth, one after another after another. He's pretty sure, if he squints, he can even make out the Impala, parked just by the outer wall. There are glimpses of each of the different rings of the Labyrinth - forest, uneven tiles, hedges and high, glistening walls - as the holes move through them. Rubble from each blast forms a path back through to the outside world.
Dean looks at Sam, taking in his expression, and gives a disgruntled shrug.
"What was I supposed to do? Dude said I had to come get you, so I did. Wasn't actually supposed to wander up, round and down in that freaking thing, was I? Would'a taken ages! Nah, I came like the crow flies." Dean gestures smoothly, hand gliding through the air, eyes crinkling at the corners as he grins at Sam.
Finally managing to tear his eyes away from the devastation, Sam stares at Dean.
"Jareth is going to kill you."
Dean glances at him and his grin broadens.
"No way. Me and Jareth? We're like that." He holds up two fingers, one curling about the other and Sam has an unfortunate flashback to the party. "Hell, he cheated and took six hours off the clock, s'not like he can blame me for cheating right back at him. Nah, he loves me."
Sam raises an eyebrow.
"That so? Wanna explain why there's a big white owl crapping all over the hood of the Impala then?"
~end
I'm going to be away until Sunday unfortunately doing family things but will play catch-up then. :)
However, apparently I'm not grateful enough to have managed the SPN/Lost Boys crossover that was requested. I did try, honestly. But then I babysat for one of my friends and we watched Labyrinth and I ended up writing this.
Rated roughly pg (maybe a little higher) and contains implied Dean/Jareth and Sam/Jareth. This is crack, people, and has no redeeming literary merit. But it was very fun to write. :)
"Nice of you to make an appearance," says Sam as a staircase floats by. "I was starting to think you'd left me to the goblins. Eight minutes left on the clock."
Dean peers across the yawning, Escheresque space of the heart of Jareth's palace. He tightens his grip on his shotgun and leapfrogs between the drifting pieces of architecture towards Sam.
"Got held up," Dean grunts, clambering up onto a stone arch and assessing his next move. He glances towards Sam again briefly, to make sure he's heading in the right direction, then stops abruptly. He frowns at Sam. "Dude, what the hell are you wearing? Is that…"
Sam flushes and smoothes down his red and white striped romper suit.
"It's very comfortable actually. I think it's part of the whole 'stolen by the goblins' deal." He scowls as Dean snorts with laughter. "Hey! Jareth must have gone to some trouble to get one in my size! He must've ordered it online or something!"
As Dean makes the final leap to land on the same chunk of rock that Sam is currently standing on, the room swings back into one coherent whole. They glance about to check that nothing is about to go flying off again. Sam puts down the glass globe he's been entertaining himself with while he waited for Dean and starts to head towards the door.
"Jareth now, is it?" says Dean, eyebrow raised meaningfully. "Nice."
"You're the one who gave me to him, Dean. I was just being friendly."
Dean follows close behind as Sam tries to navigate his way back through the palace towards the gate to the goblin city. He's not trying to upset Dean because he's pretty sure the whole thing is an honest accident - not like Dean's going to sell his soul for something and then promptly hand it over to goblins - but Sam believes in giving blame where it's due.
"How the hell was I supposed to know there actually was a goblin king? Let alone that he had a freaking mancrush on me. Though…" Dean cocks his head and considers a moment, "I guess I should have seen that part coming."
"What the fuck were you doing saying The Words, anyway? It's not like you can accidentally string together 'I wish the goblins would come and take my brother away right now'! It's kind of a specific format."
Dean has the good grace to look slightly ashamed for all of a moment.
"It was worth a go," he mutters. "You'd been in the shower so long the water was gonna be arctic by the time I got in there."
The goblins are gone from the throne room, even if their mess remains. Sam pauses halfway across to remove a few smelly chicken feathers that are clinging to his romper suit. He's very conscious of Dean watching him and smirking.
"Y'know, if you'd cut it much later," he says, "I'd probably be a goblin by now. See how you'd like that!"
Dean takes point, edging to the doorway and peering both ways, shotgun ready, before he beckons Sam to come after him into the city.
"Yeah? Would you be a short fat green goblin, or the hot kind like Jareth?"
Sam pads across the cobbles, through the narrow streets where the squat houses lean drunkenly towards one another, and he wonders where all the goblins have gone. He catches what Dean has said and jogs to catch up with him.
"Oh yeah, you think he's hot. I saw you slutting it up with Jareth at that party thing, man. Nice to know getting laid by goblin kings rates higher than getting me out of the Labyrinth. I'm really touched by your concern."
Flashing a bad-tempered look back over his shoulder, Dean snaps, "Hey, I was roofied! That little guy gave me a cheeseburger and next thing I know, I'm at some weirdass party and Jareth's getting all bump and grind." He stops so abruptly Sam almost walks into the back of him. There's a tightness about his shoulders and he turns all the way round to look at Sam. "Wait, you saw that?"
Sam allows himself the smuggest, evilest grin ever and lets out a little contented breath at the wide-eyed, open-mouthed look of horror that appears on Dean's face.
"Your dress was really pretty, man," he says sweetly. "And I just loved how you'd done your make-up."
Dean struggles for words for a long minute and finally manages, "Romper suit!" He punctuates this with a wavery finger pointed in Sam's direction.
"Hey, c'mere." Sam leans in and rubs the pad of his thumb along Dean's brow. "I think you've still got some glitter…"
Irritably, Dean pushes him away and Sam staggers back against a huge, randomly placed rock, still laughing.
It's warm outside, the sun is a rosy glow in the sky, and whereas the soles of Sam's romper suit are getting filthy from walking through goblin muck, the suit is pretty comfortable and not at all cold. He fiddles with the crotch fastening, just so he knows what he's up against before he decides he needs to piss.
They reach the edge of the city and Sam's slightly taken aback by the still steaming, massive fragments of metal wreckage that are strewn about the ground. He casts a glance at Dean who is checking the way is clear through a gaping hole in the rough-hewn stone wall. Dean sees him look and grins.
"Motherfucking mechanical robot thing."
Sam picks his way through the debris. He has to watch where he's putting his feet because there are sharp metal edges all over the place and his romper suit isn't much protection against that. He's pretty sure the goblins were carrying all kinds of nasty infectious diseases. Still, he's impressed that Dean handled what must have been a freaking huge robot.
"How did you get past it?" he says.
Having had enough of Sam's dawdling, Dean catches him by the shoulder and propels him through the hole.
"Same way I handled the Labyrinth."
"Which was?" Sam starts to ask but then he catches sight of the Labyrinth and his jaw drops. His hands come up to his temples as if his head is going to explode at any minute. "Oh my God! Dean! What the hell have you done?"
Dean shrugs and starts off again.
"Few well placed explosives. Really took the hassle out of getting through the Labyrinth. Whoever designed this place deserves a good ass-kicking."
Sam stares at the series of holes running through the walls of the Labyrinth, one after another after another. He's pretty sure, if he squints, he can even make out the Impala, parked just by the outer wall. There are glimpses of each of the different rings of the Labyrinth - forest, uneven tiles, hedges and high, glistening walls - as the holes move through them. Rubble from each blast forms a path back through to the outside world.
Dean looks at Sam, taking in his expression, and gives a disgruntled shrug.
"What was I supposed to do? Dude said I had to come get you, so I did. Wasn't actually supposed to wander up, round and down in that freaking thing, was I? Would'a taken ages! Nah, I came like the crow flies." Dean gestures smoothly, hand gliding through the air, eyes crinkling at the corners as he grins at Sam.
Finally managing to tear his eyes away from the devastation, Sam stares at Dean.
"Jareth is going to kill you."
Dean glances at him and his grin broadens.
"No way. Me and Jareth? We're like that." He holds up two fingers, one curling about the other and Sam has an unfortunate flashback to the party. "Hell, he cheated and took six hours off the clock, s'not like he can blame me for cheating right back at him. Nah, he loves me."
Sam raises an eyebrow.
"That so? Wanna explain why there's a big white owl crapping all over the hood of the Impala then?"
~end
I'm going to be away until Sunday unfortunately doing family things but will play catch-up then. :)