The mullet is more than a hairstyle (Sam/Dean/Ash, nc-17, 2300 words)
Because being with _emeraldgreen reminded me that I had some mullet!porn on my hard-drive. ♥
The mullet is more than a hairstyle
(Sam/Dean/Ash, nc-17, 2300 words)
Some bizarre pornish crack. I'm sorry. I'll deliver something sensible one day soon.
Before Dean wakes up - and has chance to make this situation more horrible than it already is - Sam tries cutting it off six times. No, Sam does cut it off six times. Messily and fiercely but effectively - he cuts it off. He even gives up on scissors and goes for the silver blade, hacking and sawing at his hair until it’s gone because even looking like he’s been attacked by the lawnmower is better than the alternative. And each time, the mullet comes back.
By the time Dean wakes up, Sam is close to frustrated tears. Dean sits up in bed, bleary-eyed and hair sticking up in ridiculous bedhead spikes. Not that Sam has much room to be laughing at anyone’s hair right now. He stays quiet while Dean yawns expansively, stretches with an audible popping of joints, and then wanders towards the bathroom. And then he notices Sam.
Dean takes one look at him, blinks and looks terribly confused for a moment, then points at him and gives a laugh that would definitely classify as a squeal. Still, not close enough to a squeal to balance out the whole ‘mullet’ thing. Dean laughs so hard his knees start wobbling and he has to flail around to find something to cling on to before he falls down. While Dean’s stumbling around the room, laughing like he’s gonna bring up a lung, Sam feels his nastiest pout coming on.
“It’s not funny, Dean! This could be serious!” Dean drops to his knees and doubles over, coming up only for air and to catch another glimpse of Sam’s very impressive new mullet. “These things don’t just happen! It means something! Maybe it’s part of my destiny or, or…!”
“Your mullet’s trying to turn you evil?” Dean asks, still shaky and breathless from all that laughing. “Oh, you could be right, y’know. Only thing scarier than a dude gone darkside is a dude gone darkside with a mullet!”
“It’s not my mullet! I didn’t have it when I went to sleep!”
It becomes obvious pretty quickly that Sam’s not going to get any sense out of Dean until he’s over the whole ‘Sammy has a mullet’ thing. Leaving Dean to get a grip, which involves him giving Sam a lot of bright wide-eyed looks and then snorting into his fist, Sam snatches up his laptop. His cursor flashes helpfully in the search box and his fingers are poised, ready over the keypad. But the search term is a tricky one.
Sam tries a couple of things but ends up with a lot of links about shaving versus waxing, Brazilians and how to achieve the new Kristen Bell cut. None of which is gonna do a damn thing to help the current situation. Sam taps his fingers against his lips and tries to ignore the new sensation of hair tickling the back of his neck and slithering over his shoulders.
His cellphone sings at him and Sam snaps it open, then finds he has to flick his hair out of the way to get it properly up to his ear which makes Dean collapse in helpless laughter again.
"Hey, compadre, I think you got something that doesn't belong to you. Not nice to steal, dude, not from your buddies."
"Ash? What the hell do you-" Sam cuts off right then because he's a very smart boy and the pieces fall into place instantly. "How did this happen? Do you have my hair?" Dean's choked guffaws go up a volume level. "How do I get rid of it?"
"You think you got problems?" Ash demands. "I woke up this morning with hair that was trying to eat my head. Seriously, man, you ever get a look at the world without a clump of your own hair in the way?"
"All right, how do we trade back? Do you know? Because I've been on the 'net and-"
"Sure I know," says Ash. "Gay sex. Hot and dirty. Don't worry about condoms and lube, I got a stash."
He hangs up while Sam is still spluttering for words incredulous enough to form his protest. Dean is together enough to have cut out the laughing, even if he is still making high-pitched squealy sounds every now and again when he looks at Sam.
"Ash says I have to have sex with him," Sam says.
Dean raises an eyebrow.
"You wanna?" Sam considers it then shrugs helplessly. Dean nods. "Okay then." Dean pauses before asking, "Can I watch?"
:::
Sam has never before been more grateful that the majority of his wardrobe comprises hoodies. With his hood up, he manages to get past both Jo and Ellen at the Roadhouse with nothing but weird looks. Of course, Dean strolling along behind him, sniggering at apparently nothing in particular didn't help matters.
Ash is already naked in his smelly, dingy pit of a room when they get there and is wearing a bandana tied ferociously tight at the back of his head. All the same, Sam can see a few typically stubborn locks of hair escaping already. Sam knows his own hair when he sees it. Ash gives Sam a particularly nasty look, as if this is his fault, and yanks his hood down. His face crumples at the sight of his misplaced mullet and he smoothes out the strands of Sam's stolen hair.
"Jesus, what kind of sick fucker would do this? I ever find out, I will kick their ass from here to Dallas."
As he gives Ash a reassuring pat on the shoulder, Dean glances between the two of them, clearly attempting to keep the glee from his expression, and says, "So, gay sex? Like now? Need me to get Sam naked for you?"
"Dean!" Sam shrieks, wrapping his arms about himself protectively. "Aren't you supposed to be like… defending my virtue?"
For all of about five seconds, Dean manages to appear suitably chastened. But he rubs at the back of his neck and Sam can see the flush creeping up his skin. He shrugs and fixes Sam with a puppy-dog expression Sam's pretty sure Dean stole from him in the first place.
"Yeah but… your hair, man! Your awesome hair! I just want you to get your hair back! Which means Ash and you have to get naked and fuck like crazy."
"Totally" Ash agrees, while attempting to tug Sam's hoodie off over his head without him noticing. Stealth undressing requires a subtler hand than Ash possesses. Besides, Sam's an expertly trained hunter - he notices when people are undressing him. Just like he notices Dean's fingers on his fly.
Obscurely, Sam feels like he's been ambushed. He lifts his arms up over his head for Ash to strip his t-shirt off him while Dean jerks his jeans down his thighs. He sighs and purses his lips, trying to think about this clearly, which is difficult when he's so very nearly naked in front of his goddamn brother and their stoned friend whose mullet Sam has accidentally stolen.
"Look," he says. "Are you sure this is gonna help?"
Ash licks a stripe up between Sam's shoulder-blades, which makes Sam shiver, before he answers.
"Sex always helps." He glances at Dean, who's backing off to sprawl out on the couch to watch now Sam's naked. "Hand on my heart, yeah?"
Dean's nod is very solemn.
"Nothing so broke that sex won't fix it. Or at least take your mind off it 'til it is fixed."
Ash points towards Dean and nods.
"S'right! Dude, that is so right."
While they have their 'dude' moment, Sam shivers and desperately tries not to think about the freaking nasty stains all over Ash's sheets. He wonders if Ash's mullet makes a habit of escaping and Ash is regularly forced to screw people in order to retrieve it.
"Okay," he says. "If you're sure. I just want my hair back. Not because your mullet isn't- whoa!"
Ash's fingers are cold and going places Sam didn't quite expect just yet. He jerks away and glares over his shoulder at Ash, who shoots a frustrated look at Dean, who's flushed and biting down hard on his lip as he shifts from foot to foot.
"C'mon, Sammy, let the man do his thing. He'll be gentle." A stern look from Dean in Ash's direction punctuates this. "Just… you want your hair back, don't you? It'll be all right. It'll be good."
Hesitating for just a second, Dean drops to his knees in front of Sam. He presses a wet, open-mouthed kiss to the soft skin on the inside of Sam's thigh. His stubble scratches slightly but Sam sways into him mindlessly. Dean's mouth slides a little higher, kissing the crease of his thigh, and Sam gives a small moan of approval, able to entirely blank out the crinkle of a condom wrapper behind him.
The blunt press of Ash's fingers still isn't exactly comfortable but Dean's lips brush hot and tender and ever so slightly greedy over Sam's skin and he guesses he can live with it. The lube is cold when Ash's fingers slip up into him but Sam steadies himself by gripping the short, soft spikes of Dean's hair.
"S'right," Dean murmurs. "S'right, you just hang on and we'll get you your pretty hair back. Pretty pretty hair, goes all flicky and gets in your eyes and makes you look like a total dork."
"Hey!" Sam tries to protest but Ash chooses that minute to walk them backwards and even though Sam's caught in the v of Ash's spread legs, he's still kinda worried about how much of that nasty skanky sheet is in contact with his bare skin.
Still, it's all right because Dean comes with them and settles back between Sam's knees. There's an urgent absence of Dean's mouth on Sam's cock but Sam supposes that might be crossing one line too many. Nice enough just to have Dean's head bobbing away between his thighs, feathering tender, delicate kisses over Sam while Ash mumbles stuff against the side of his throat.
When Ash's hands come about his hips and pull Sam up and back, Sam moves with it, feels Ash's cock nudge at his hole before he sinks down the length of it. It burns a little, not enough prep Sam figures though he's not really an expert in the whole 'taking cock up the ass' thing. Not too bad though either. He can handle it. Especially when Dean's tongue dips down to flicker over the stretch of skin behind Sam's balls.
"Jesus fuck, my hair looks good from the back," Ash comments. Dean and Sam pull faces at each other.
As he spreads wider about Ash's cock, Sam exhales roughly. It's stopped being 'not bad' and is currently at 'really pretty good'. Ash rocks his hips and Sam jerks back against him and quickly upgrades the experience to 'awesome'. He thinks he might possibly be getting a second-hand high from the pot-fumes in Ash's room but it could just as easily be from Ash's cock in his ass and the interesting things Dean's mouth is doing to him.
Whatever it is, Sam feels at peace with the situation, which is impressive when you consider he's wearing a mullet that isn't his. Sam is not a mullet type of guy so the only thing worse than wearing a mullet that isn't his would be wearing one that is.
"M'sorry I took your mullet, man," Sam mumbles through lips so numb he can't make them work very well.
"Ah, don't sweat it," says Ash. "You brought it back, s'a main thing."
Dean's tongue is insistently sweeping over the sensitive ring of skin that's wrapped about Ash's cock while he fucks Sam with slow, lazy strokes. Sam tries to rest his head back against Ash's shoulder but once again his freakish height screws things up and Sam ends up having to loll against Ash which is nowhere near as comfortable as it could be.
"C'mon, man, for the mullet," Ash mutters into his ear. "Gimme my freaking mullet back, Winchester."
Dean's mouth finally - finally - makes contact with Sam's cock and Sam's grip on Dean's hair tightens so much that Dean makes this weird, growly sound and simply opens up about him. Sam fucks into Dean's mouth with a rhythm that totally doesn't work with the roll of Ash's hips but it gets them all there just the same.
Through the haze of arousal, Sam can hear Dean fisting his own cock and Dean somehow manages to be the first to come. If Sam weren't getting well and truly fucked and wasn't doing the same to Dean's mouth, he'd take offence at that because it suggests Dean is the most caught up in the situation. Of course, it could also mean that maybe Dean has issues with premature ejaculation and Sam hopes his brain will hold onto that in order to ask for clarification later.
Ash comes just seconds after Sam does and that's the polite way to do these things. You don't leave someone behind when you're fucking and you don't go rushing out in front either. He rocks his hips towards Dean's mouth, slowing as Dean swallows down the last of his come.
Panting for breath and feeling the first ache in his muscles, Sam reaches up and scrapes his fingers through his hair, sighing when he discovers that his hair has come back to him. He nods to himself and shifts until Ash's softening cock slips free from him. He strokes his fingers through Dean's hair affectionately and decides not to ruin the moment by trying to have the whole incest discussion. He stops and holds up a long, silky handful of Dean's hair.
He sighs and tries not to sound too frustrated.
"Dean…"
Ash leans forward to peer over Sam's shoulder at Dean's mullet. He tsks.
"Goddamn that thing," he says. "Guess we gotta have more sex."
~end
The mullet is more than a hairstyle
(Sam/Dean/Ash, nc-17, 2300 words)
Some bizarre pornish crack. I'm sorry. I'll deliver something sensible one day soon.
Before Dean wakes up - and has chance to make this situation more horrible than it already is - Sam tries cutting it off six times. No, Sam does cut it off six times. Messily and fiercely but effectively - he cuts it off. He even gives up on scissors and goes for the silver blade, hacking and sawing at his hair until it’s gone because even looking like he’s been attacked by the lawnmower is better than the alternative. And each time, the mullet comes back.
By the time Dean wakes up, Sam is close to frustrated tears. Dean sits up in bed, bleary-eyed and hair sticking up in ridiculous bedhead spikes. Not that Sam has much room to be laughing at anyone’s hair right now. He stays quiet while Dean yawns expansively, stretches with an audible popping of joints, and then wanders towards the bathroom. And then he notices Sam.
Dean takes one look at him, blinks and looks terribly confused for a moment, then points at him and gives a laugh that would definitely classify as a squeal. Still, not close enough to a squeal to balance out the whole ‘mullet’ thing. Dean laughs so hard his knees start wobbling and he has to flail around to find something to cling on to before he falls down. While Dean’s stumbling around the room, laughing like he’s gonna bring up a lung, Sam feels his nastiest pout coming on.
“It’s not funny, Dean! This could be serious!” Dean drops to his knees and doubles over, coming up only for air and to catch another glimpse of Sam’s very impressive new mullet. “These things don’t just happen! It means something! Maybe it’s part of my destiny or, or…!”
“Your mullet’s trying to turn you evil?” Dean asks, still shaky and breathless from all that laughing. “Oh, you could be right, y’know. Only thing scarier than a dude gone darkside is a dude gone darkside with a mullet!”
“It’s not my mullet! I didn’t have it when I went to sleep!”
It becomes obvious pretty quickly that Sam’s not going to get any sense out of Dean until he’s over the whole ‘Sammy has a mullet’ thing. Leaving Dean to get a grip, which involves him giving Sam a lot of bright wide-eyed looks and then snorting into his fist, Sam snatches up his laptop. His cursor flashes helpfully in the search box and his fingers are poised, ready over the keypad. But the search term is a tricky one.
Sam tries a couple of things but ends up with a lot of links about shaving versus waxing, Brazilians and how to achieve the new Kristen Bell cut. None of which is gonna do a damn thing to help the current situation. Sam taps his fingers against his lips and tries to ignore the new sensation of hair tickling the back of his neck and slithering over his shoulders.
His cellphone sings at him and Sam snaps it open, then finds he has to flick his hair out of the way to get it properly up to his ear which makes Dean collapse in helpless laughter again.
"Hey, compadre, I think you got something that doesn't belong to you. Not nice to steal, dude, not from your buddies."
"Ash? What the hell do you-" Sam cuts off right then because he's a very smart boy and the pieces fall into place instantly. "How did this happen? Do you have my hair?" Dean's choked guffaws go up a volume level. "How do I get rid of it?"
"You think you got problems?" Ash demands. "I woke up this morning with hair that was trying to eat my head. Seriously, man, you ever get a look at the world without a clump of your own hair in the way?"
"All right, how do we trade back? Do you know? Because I've been on the 'net and-"
"Sure I know," says Ash. "Gay sex. Hot and dirty. Don't worry about condoms and lube, I got a stash."
He hangs up while Sam is still spluttering for words incredulous enough to form his protest. Dean is together enough to have cut out the laughing, even if he is still making high-pitched squealy sounds every now and again when he looks at Sam.
"Ash says I have to have sex with him," Sam says.
Dean raises an eyebrow.
"You wanna?" Sam considers it then shrugs helplessly. Dean nods. "Okay then." Dean pauses before asking, "Can I watch?"
:::
Sam has never before been more grateful that the majority of his wardrobe comprises hoodies. With his hood up, he manages to get past both Jo and Ellen at the Roadhouse with nothing but weird looks. Of course, Dean strolling along behind him, sniggering at apparently nothing in particular didn't help matters.
Ash is already naked in his smelly, dingy pit of a room when they get there and is wearing a bandana tied ferociously tight at the back of his head. All the same, Sam can see a few typically stubborn locks of hair escaping already. Sam knows his own hair when he sees it. Ash gives Sam a particularly nasty look, as if this is his fault, and yanks his hood down. His face crumples at the sight of his misplaced mullet and he smoothes out the strands of Sam's stolen hair.
"Jesus, what kind of sick fucker would do this? I ever find out, I will kick their ass from here to Dallas."
As he gives Ash a reassuring pat on the shoulder, Dean glances between the two of them, clearly attempting to keep the glee from his expression, and says, "So, gay sex? Like now? Need me to get Sam naked for you?"
"Dean!" Sam shrieks, wrapping his arms about himself protectively. "Aren't you supposed to be like… defending my virtue?"
For all of about five seconds, Dean manages to appear suitably chastened. But he rubs at the back of his neck and Sam can see the flush creeping up his skin. He shrugs and fixes Sam with a puppy-dog expression Sam's pretty sure Dean stole from him in the first place.
"Yeah but… your hair, man! Your awesome hair! I just want you to get your hair back! Which means Ash and you have to get naked and fuck like crazy."
"Totally" Ash agrees, while attempting to tug Sam's hoodie off over his head without him noticing. Stealth undressing requires a subtler hand than Ash possesses. Besides, Sam's an expertly trained hunter - he notices when people are undressing him. Just like he notices Dean's fingers on his fly.
Obscurely, Sam feels like he's been ambushed. He lifts his arms up over his head for Ash to strip his t-shirt off him while Dean jerks his jeans down his thighs. He sighs and purses his lips, trying to think about this clearly, which is difficult when he's so very nearly naked in front of his goddamn brother and their stoned friend whose mullet Sam has accidentally stolen.
"Look," he says. "Are you sure this is gonna help?"
Ash licks a stripe up between Sam's shoulder-blades, which makes Sam shiver, before he answers.
"Sex always helps." He glances at Dean, who's backing off to sprawl out on the couch to watch now Sam's naked. "Hand on my heart, yeah?"
Dean's nod is very solemn.
"Nothing so broke that sex won't fix it. Or at least take your mind off it 'til it is fixed."
Ash points towards Dean and nods.
"S'right! Dude, that is so right."
While they have their 'dude' moment, Sam shivers and desperately tries not to think about the freaking nasty stains all over Ash's sheets. He wonders if Ash's mullet makes a habit of escaping and Ash is regularly forced to screw people in order to retrieve it.
"Okay," he says. "If you're sure. I just want my hair back. Not because your mullet isn't- whoa!"
Ash's fingers are cold and going places Sam didn't quite expect just yet. He jerks away and glares over his shoulder at Ash, who shoots a frustrated look at Dean, who's flushed and biting down hard on his lip as he shifts from foot to foot.
"C'mon, Sammy, let the man do his thing. He'll be gentle." A stern look from Dean in Ash's direction punctuates this. "Just… you want your hair back, don't you? It'll be all right. It'll be good."
Hesitating for just a second, Dean drops to his knees in front of Sam. He presses a wet, open-mouthed kiss to the soft skin on the inside of Sam's thigh. His stubble scratches slightly but Sam sways into him mindlessly. Dean's mouth slides a little higher, kissing the crease of his thigh, and Sam gives a small moan of approval, able to entirely blank out the crinkle of a condom wrapper behind him.
The blunt press of Ash's fingers still isn't exactly comfortable but Dean's lips brush hot and tender and ever so slightly greedy over Sam's skin and he guesses he can live with it. The lube is cold when Ash's fingers slip up into him but Sam steadies himself by gripping the short, soft spikes of Dean's hair.
"S'right," Dean murmurs. "S'right, you just hang on and we'll get you your pretty hair back. Pretty pretty hair, goes all flicky and gets in your eyes and makes you look like a total dork."
"Hey!" Sam tries to protest but Ash chooses that minute to walk them backwards and even though Sam's caught in the v of Ash's spread legs, he's still kinda worried about how much of that nasty skanky sheet is in contact with his bare skin.
Still, it's all right because Dean comes with them and settles back between Sam's knees. There's an urgent absence of Dean's mouth on Sam's cock but Sam supposes that might be crossing one line too many. Nice enough just to have Dean's head bobbing away between his thighs, feathering tender, delicate kisses over Sam while Ash mumbles stuff against the side of his throat.
When Ash's hands come about his hips and pull Sam up and back, Sam moves with it, feels Ash's cock nudge at his hole before he sinks down the length of it. It burns a little, not enough prep Sam figures though he's not really an expert in the whole 'taking cock up the ass' thing. Not too bad though either. He can handle it. Especially when Dean's tongue dips down to flicker over the stretch of skin behind Sam's balls.
"Jesus fuck, my hair looks good from the back," Ash comments. Dean and Sam pull faces at each other.
As he spreads wider about Ash's cock, Sam exhales roughly. It's stopped being 'not bad' and is currently at 'really pretty good'. Ash rocks his hips and Sam jerks back against him and quickly upgrades the experience to 'awesome'. He thinks he might possibly be getting a second-hand high from the pot-fumes in Ash's room but it could just as easily be from Ash's cock in his ass and the interesting things Dean's mouth is doing to him.
Whatever it is, Sam feels at peace with the situation, which is impressive when you consider he's wearing a mullet that isn't his. Sam is not a mullet type of guy so the only thing worse than wearing a mullet that isn't his would be wearing one that is.
"M'sorry I took your mullet, man," Sam mumbles through lips so numb he can't make them work very well.
"Ah, don't sweat it," says Ash. "You brought it back, s'a main thing."
Dean's tongue is insistently sweeping over the sensitive ring of skin that's wrapped about Ash's cock while he fucks Sam with slow, lazy strokes. Sam tries to rest his head back against Ash's shoulder but once again his freakish height screws things up and Sam ends up having to loll against Ash which is nowhere near as comfortable as it could be.
"C'mon, man, for the mullet," Ash mutters into his ear. "Gimme my freaking mullet back, Winchester."
Dean's mouth finally - finally - makes contact with Sam's cock and Sam's grip on Dean's hair tightens so much that Dean makes this weird, growly sound and simply opens up about him. Sam fucks into Dean's mouth with a rhythm that totally doesn't work with the roll of Ash's hips but it gets them all there just the same.
Through the haze of arousal, Sam can hear Dean fisting his own cock and Dean somehow manages to be the first to come. If Sam weren't getting well and truly fucked and wasn't doing the same to Dean's mouth, he'd take offence at that because it suggests Dean is the most caught up in the situation. Of course, it could also mean that maybe Dean has issues with premature ejaculation and Sam hopes his brain will hold onto that in order to ask for clarification later.
Ash comes just seconds after Sam does and that's the polite way to do these things. You don't leave someone behind when you're fucking and you don't go rushing out in front either. He rocks his hips towards Dean's mouth, slowing as Dean swallows down the last of his come.
Panting for breath and feeling the first ache in his muscles, Sam reaches up and scrapes his fingers through his hair, sighing when he discovers that his hair has come back to him. He nods to himself and shifts until Ash's softening cock slips free from him. He strokes his fingers through Dean's hair affectionately and decides not to ruin the moment by trying to have the whole incest discussion. He stops and holds up a long, silky handful of Dean's hair.
He sighs and tries not to sound too frustrated.
"Dean…"
Ash leans forward to peer over Sam's shoulder at Dean's mullet. He tsks.
"Goddamn that thing," he says. "Guess we gotta have more sex."
~end