the loneliness of a tower crane driver
Hey, I had a lovely Christmas, hope you all did too! Thank you to mickeym and oxoniensis for the really lovely e-cards, and to deirdre_c, sarcasticdaisy and that anonymous-sweetheart for the awesome v-gifts! You guys totally spoil me and I'm very very grateful! <333 I've been around on the net off-and-on over the break but if I've not managed to comment much, sorry! I'm trying to catch up on everything!
I'm almost almost done with my spn_j2_xmas - it would be done by now but lazy_daze and balefully are VILE ENABLERS. and I love them.
So, this was just supposed to be a little timestampy thing for the cross-dressing pies, set somewhere in between part five and part six, but… it got a little long. :/
"Okay," says Jensen. "I don't want you to go easy on me. I wanna see exactly what I'm working with."
It takes Jared a moment to get an answer out because he is apparently working with a Jensen in nothing but a t-shirt and low-slung, thin grey sweatpants. He's seen bare feet before, but none have struck him as quite so adorable as Jensen's. That he wants to coo over Jensen's feet does not bode well for this gym session. That he has effectively been given permission to manhandle Jensen just however he likes bodes even worse.
"Are you sure?" he says. "'Cause, I'm really pretty good at this and…"
Jensen arches an eyebrow at him and Jared trails off.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying," Jared says, as diplomatically as possible, "that this is gonna be less of a work-out and more of a demonstration than maybe you were expecting."
"I've been trained, Jared. I can take care of myself, believe me. C'mon, show me what you got."
Jared rubs his jaw awkwardly and sighs. The first time Jensen had told him they were doing this, he'd thought it was a joke. Then Jensen had told him again, and Jared had tried talking him out of it. Then Jensen had insisted and Jared had resigned himself to a highly uncomfortable afternoon, with the only benefit being that he was actually expected to get up close and personal with Jensen. And even that was going to be tricky because there are only so many times you can brazen out accidentally getting hard when you're pinning someone to the ground.
"How about we get another agent in here?" Jared says. "Someone-" who stands a chance of lasting more than a minute against me, "-who's had the same kinda training as me?"
"For the last time, Jared, no. I want to know exactly what I'm dealing with."
"Okay, fine," says Jared, and calmly refuses to accept any responsibility for what's about to happen. "Ready?"
"Ready," says Jensen. "Hit me with your best - oof!"
Jared peers down at Jensen from where he's laid him out flat on his back, unable to move in the hold Jared's got him in. It's minimum body-contact, for Jared's own peace of mind, but it's still Jensen trapped between his thighs, hot and solid and totally fuckable.
Jensen blinks.
"Can we stop now?" Jared says. "This is stupid."
"I wasn't expecting it," Jensen says stubbornly. "Let's go again."
Jared hauls him to his feet, saying, "It's not like I go on assignment with a bell around my neck, y'know. You're not s'posed to expect it. That's how you know I'm good."
Jensen rolls his shoulders and brushes down his knees, as if it matters how smartly dressed he is while Jared kicks his ass. Jared can't really think of anything he'd like to do to Jensen's ass which requires him to be smartly dressed, and he has a long list of things to do to Jensen's ass should he ever get his hands, or mouth, on it.
"Okay," Jensen says. "Let's go again."
To his credit, and to Jared's surprise, Jensen actually manages to land a jab to Jared's shoulder before Jared takes him down. It's a good hit, one designed to hit the small bundle of nerves, which would freeze Jared's arm up. Unfortunately, Jared realised where Jensen was aiming just in time to move a vital half-inch over.
This time, Jensen ends up with Jared's hips angled against his ass. It feels good and Jared stares at the far wall of the gym and stoically ignores his cock taking interest in the tight curves it's grinding up against.
Jared's gripping Jensen's forearm, keeping his hand firm against his chest, his whole arm wrapped around Jensen's body and his cheek rubbing the back of Jensen's neck.
He can feel Jensen's heart thumping against his ribs. Jared knows that, for all his professional calm, Jensen can be just a little high-strung. Sometimes he finds it funny, that the guy he regularly trusts his life to seems to exist in a state of heightened panic. Other times, he finds it insanely hot, thinking about Jensen's restraint, his forced composure, and what would happen if Jared stripped it away.
And then there are times like these, when Jared finds it unsettling and upsetting, like it's an implicit lack of trust between them.
Carefully and with a minimum of touching, he releases Jensen. Once he's standing, he takes a few steps back from Jensen and leaves Jensen to get back onto his feet without help.
Jensen looks him over again, clearly re-evaluating him, then grudgingly says, "When I said don't go easy on me, I meant, don't go too easy on me."
Jared looks up at the ceiling, feeling uncomfortable. Jensen stares at him.
"You have been going easy on me, haven't you?"
Jared bites the inside of his cheek and toes at the gym mat. "C'mon, man. I don't wanna hurt you. You're my handler, I'm not s'posed to be getting into knockdown fights with you."
Jensen is silent for a long moment, so long that Jared glances back up at him. The expression on Jensen's face is coldly thoughtful. Jared gets the distinct impression he's being thoroughly analysed. It's possible there's something very wrong with him because his cock stubbornly persists in being half-hard.
"Right," Jensen says. "Fine. Take it all the way up to eleven."
"That wasn't humiliating enough?" Jared says. "I gotta make you cry or something before you'll quit?"
Jensen shrugs easily. "C'mon, Jared." He smiles and, sweet and playful, he says, "Pretend I'm a bad guy."
Jared is running low on patience now. Surely Jensen has got the point by now. Surely, a guy with a brain like Jensen's has worked out that he doesn't stand a fucking hope in hell in a fight against Jared.
But Jensen just stands there, looking at him with an expectant expression, with his big green eyes and little bare feet.
"I hope you know this serves absolutely no practical purpose," Jared says, and takes Jensen down in a pathetically short amount of time.
He straddles him again this time, shamelessly pressing his cock into Jensen's belly, and his knees keeping Jensen's shoulders flat on the ground. Inexplicably on edge, Jared raises an eyebrow at Jensen, who is lying there under him, silent and quiescent, gazing right back up at him.
"Are we done?" Jared says.
"Then what?" Jensen says. He licks his lips - and Jared fights back a groan - and repeats it, louder. "Then what?"
"Then what what?" Jared says.
"I'm a bad guy," Jensen says. "You've successfully disabled me. Then what? Are you going to shoot me?"
"We're roleplaying you getting fucking shot now, are we?" Jared demands.
"Are you gonna shoot me?" Jensen says again. His voice is strained and he won't stop watching Jared.
Jared hesitates, then shakes his head. "No. Don't need to. Perfect position here to break your neck."
"Show me," Jensen says, more than a little breathless now.
Mindless and slow, Jared slides his hands to Jensen's throat, where he's so warm and delicate, where his pulse rushes under his fingertips. Jared positions his grip - one hand on the line of Jensen's jaw, the other lower down on his neck - and stares at his hands on Jensen's throat.
"Show me," Jensen whispers.
"Like this," Jared says, and he jerks his hands in opposite directions. Not hard enough to snap Jensen's neck, or even hard enough to hurt him. But it's enough to show him how easily it could be done.
It's hard to get his brain in gear with Jensen all warm and pliant under him, and his eyes fixed on Jared like a bomb could go off right by his ear and he wouldn't notice. So it takes Jared a second to realise that Jensen's trembling, and that Jared's hands are still on his throat.
He raises his hands into surrender, with a shaky, sheepish grin.
"Get off me," Jensen says. "Now. Get off me now."
Jared scrambles backwards and to his feet. He stretches out a hand to Jensen, which Jensen ignores. Jared watches, feeling stupid and clumsy, as Jensen stands himself up and brushes himself down again. He won't look at Jared but is not exactly being smooth about keeping his distance.
"Okay," says Jensen. "That was very helpful. Thank you for your cooperation."
"Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" He reaches for Jensen, as Jensen starts to turn away, and Jensen jerks away from him. Hurt, Jared drops his hand. "You asked for this," he says.
Jensen nods, smiling that little half-smile again. "Yeah, guess I did."
~end
I'm almost almost done with my spn_j2_xmas - it would be done by now but lazy_daze and balefully are VILE ENABLERS. and I love them.
So, this was just supposed to be a little timestampy thing for the cross-dressing pies, set somewhere in between part five and part six, but… it got a little long. :/
"Okay," says Jensen. "I don't want you to go easy on me. I wanna see exactly what I'm working with."
It takes Jared a moment to get an answer out because he is apparently working with a Jensen in nothing but a t-shirt and low-slung, thin grey sweatpants. He's seen bare feet before, but none have struck him as quite so adorable as Jensen's. That he wants to coo over Jensen's feet does not bode well for this gym session. That he has effectively been given permission to manhandle Jensen just however he likes bodes even worse.
"Are you sure?" he says. "'Cause, I'm really pretty good at this and…"
Jensen arches an eyebrow at him and Jared trails off.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying," Jared says, as diplomatically as possible, "that this is gonna be less of a work-out and more of a demonstration than maybe you were expecting."
"I've been trained, Jared. I can take care of myself, believe me. C'mon, show me what you got."
Jared rubs his jaw awkwardly and sighs. The first time Jensen had told him they were doing this, he'd thought it was a joke. Then Jensen had told him again, and Jared had tried talking him out of it. Then Jensen had insisted and Jared had resigned himself to a highly uncomfortable afternoon, with the only benefit being that he was actually expected to get up close and personal with Jensen. And even that was going to be tricky because there are only so many times you can brazen out accidentally getting hard when you're pinning someone to the ground.
"How about we get another agent in here?" Jared says. "Someone-" who stands a chance of lasting more than a minute against me, "-who's had the same kinda training as me?"
"For the last time, Jared, no. I want to know exactly what I'm dealing with."
"Okay, fine," says Jared, and calmly refuses to accept any responsibility for what's about to happen. "Ready?"
"Ready," says Jensen. "Hit me with your best - oof!"
Jared peers down at Jensen from where he's laid him out flat on his back, unable to move in the hold Jared's got him in. It's minimum body-contact, for Jared's own peace of mind, but it's still Jensen trapped between his thighs, hot and solid and totally fuckable.
Jensen blinks.
"Can we stop now?" Jared says. "This is stupid."
"I wasn't expecting it," Jensen says stubbornly. "Let's go again."
Jared hauls him to his feet, saying, "It's not like I go on assignment with a bell around my neck, y'know. You're not s'posed to expect it. That's how you know I'm good."
Jensen rolls his shoulders and brushes down his knees, as if it matters how smartly dressed he is while Jared kicks his ass. Jared can't really think of anything he'd like to do to Jensen's ass which requires him to be smartly dressed, and he has a long list of things to do to Jensen's ass should he ever get his hands, or mouth, on it.
"Okay," Jensen says. "Let's go again."
To his credit, and to Jared's surprise, Jensen actually manages to land a jab to Jared's shoulder before Jared takes him down. It's a good hit, one designed to hit the small bundle of nerves, which would freeze Jared's arm up. Unfortunately, Jared realised where Jensen was aiming just in time to move a vital half-inch over.
This time, Jensen ends up with Jared's hips angled against his ass. It feels good and Jared stares at the far wall of the gym and stoically ignores his cock taking interest in the tight curves it's grinding up against.
Jared's gripping Jensen's forearm, keeping his hand firm against his chest, his whole arm wrapped around Jensen's body and his cheek rubbing the back of Jensen's neck.
He can feel Jensen's heart thumping against his ribs. Jared knows that, for all his professional calm, Jensen can be just a little high-strung. Sometimes he finds it funny, that the guy he regularly trusts his life to seems to exist in a state of heightened panic. Other times, he finds it insanely hot, thinking about Jensen's restraint, his forced composure, and what would happen if Jared stripped it away.
And then there are times like these, when Jared finds it unsettling and upsetting, like it's an implicit lack of trust between them.
Carefully and with a minimum of touching, he releases Jensen. Once he's standing, he takes a few steps back from Jensen and leaves Jensen to get back onto his feet without help.
Jensen looks him over again, clearly re-evaluating him, then grudgingly says, "When I said don't go easy on me, I meant, don't go too easy on me."
Jared looks up at the ceiling, feeling uncomfortable. Jensen stares at him.
"You have been going easy on me, haven't you?"
Jared bites the inside of his cheek and toes at the gym mat. "C'mon, man. I don't wanna hurt you. You're my handler, I'm not s'posed to be getting into knockdown fights with you."
Jensen is silent for a long moment, so long that Jared glances back up at him. The expression on Jensen's face is coldly thoughtful. Jared gets the distinct impression he's being thoroughly analysed. It's possible there's something very wrong with him because his cock stubbornly persists in being half-hard.
"Right," Jensen says. "Fine. Take it all the way up to eleven."
"That wasn't humiliating enough?" Jared says. "I gotta make you cry or something before you'll quit?"
Jensen shrugs easily. "C'mon, Jared." He smiles and, sweet and playful, he says, "Pretend I'm a bad guy."
Jared is running low on patience now. Surely Jensen has got the point by now. Surely, a guy with a brain like Jensen's has worked out that he doesn't stand a fucking hope in hell in a fight against Jared.
But Jensen just stands there, looking at him with an expectant expression, with his big green eyes and little bare feet.
"I hope you know this serves absolutely no practical purpose," Jared says, and takes Jensen down in a pathetically short amount of time.
He straddles him again this time, shamelessly pressing his cock into Jensen's belly, and his knees keeping Jensen's shoulders flat on the ground. Inexplicably on edge, Jared raises an eyebrow at Jensen, who is lying there under him, silent and quiescent, gazing right back up at him.
"Are we done?" Jared says.
"Then what?" Jensen says. He licks his lips - and Jared fights back a groan - and repeats it, louder. "Then what?"
"Then what what?" Jared says.
"I'm a bad guy," Jensen says. "You've successfully disabled me. Then what? Are you going to shoot me?"
"We're roleplaying you getting fucking shot now, are we?" Jared demands.
"Are you gonna shoot me?" Jensen says again. His voice is strained and he won't stop watching Jared.
Jared hesitates, then shakes his head. "No. Don't need to. Perfect position here to break your neck."
"Show me," Jensen says, more than a little breathless now.
Mindless and slow, Jared slides his hands to Jensen's throat, where he's so warm and delicate, where his pulse rushes under his fingertips. Jared positions his grip - one hand on the line of Jensen's jaw, the other lower down on his neck - and stares at his hands on Jensen's throat.
"Show me," Jensen whispers.
"Like this," Jared says, and he jerks his hands in opposite directions. Not hard enough to snap Jensen's neck, or even hard enough to hurt him. But it's enough to show him how easily it could be done.
It's hard to get his brain in gear with Jensen all warm and pliant under him, and his eyes fixed on Jared like a bomb could go off right by his ear and he wouldn't notice. So it takes Jared a second to realise that Jensen's trembling, and that Jared's hands are still on his throat.
He raises his hands into surrender, with a shaky, sheepish grin.
"Get off me," Jensen says. "Now. Get off me now."
Jared scrambles backwards and to his feet. He stretches out a hand to Jensen, which Jensen ignores. Jared watches, feeling stupid and clumsy, as Jensen stands himself up and brushes himself down again. He won't look at Jared but is not exactly being smooth about keeping his distance.
"Okay," says Jensen. "That was very helpful. Thank you for your cooperation."
"Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" He reaches for Jensen, as Jensen starts to turn away, and Jensen jerks away from him. Hurt, Jared drops his hand. "You asked for this," he says.
Jensen nods, smiling that little half-smile again. "Yeah, guess I did."
~end