Would YOU pass along a friend-of-friend to the rest of your friends?

[flexagon]

I had a somewhat fascinating conversation this week about the limits of friend-favors and social networks. It was a conversation with my friend RF, and it took place in the context of this linear social network. All connections are social connections but all parties are in the same industry

Comments

[nahele_101]

One degree removed, sure...would have met, and determined if need/desire was to go futher. Two degrees removed? Nope.

[flexagon]

Same here.

[verdanthe]

I would not have asked it, for sure.
in fact, it was recently offered, and my response was to offer to meet intervening friend first.

I might do it, depending on the reputation of intermediate friend & content of what was being passed along, but it really depends on lots of things.

[verdanthe]

as for 2nd degree friends, depends on context, if I were looking to meet that sort of person, or the communities where the links were made are small & trustworthy, then maybe.
but I feel like that's a special case, and not something someone would casually ask for.

[flexagon]

Thanks. Yes, I meant to make some note about community size. If the FoF had something very special about them that I knew my friends were looking for, or if all communities were very small and specialized already, that would increase the odds.

[flexagon]

It sounds to me like you're doing it right. :-)

I'm also at "one degree, sure" but it falls off fast after that. No doubt I am shaped by working in a highly desired industry, in a highly desired company, where the number of people wanting to find an "in" (or wanting to report bugs and complaints to me, shudder) is far higher than the number of people who stand a useful chance.

[randysmith]

I'm amused, in that I'm sorta in DY's position; a friend asked me to talk with a friend of theirs about internships at Zillian (sure, 1hr conversation, fun), and that person asked me if I could find someone who'd actually had an intern at Zillian who would be willing to talk to them. I emailed my group mailing list asking for volunteers, and got crickets (which actually surprised me). But I'm not offended by that--everyone makes the best judgement on where they can/should spend their time

[flexagon]

But if I think I've presented my knowledge or lack of knowledge of the person accurately I'd be willing to refer FOFOFs with the consent of the target.

You are generous and also respectful of people's choices. Winner! :)

I think I tend to assume that referrals are not welcome, unless I know there's a vacant position of some sort. No doubt I am shaped by working in a highly desired industry, in a highly desired company, and knowing a lot of women who constantly get hit on.

[melebeth]

After meeting someone and liking them I am usually happy to try to make a connection, if the other side of the connection is willing. I won't refer without the meeting and liking except when I REALLY trust the intermediary friend... And that's one hop not two.

[flexagon]

I would totally do one hop: I would meet personally with a friend's friend. After that if I like them, I might help them go one hop further along.

>I won't refer without the meeting and liking except when I REALLY trust the intermediary >friend...

So in DYs place you MIGHT have referred JI to your friends, if you really really trusted RF?

[melebeth]

Yup. I'd need to have a lot of faith in her assessment of JI. And I'd ideally want to chat with her first.