(no subject)
Title: All Five Senses Intact
Part: 1/5
Rating: R, overall
Pairing: George/Izzie
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or any part of Grey's Anatomy.
Summary: We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one. --- John Updike
Spoiler: Follows current GA storyline.
A/N: I'd love your comments, as always! Thanks for reading!
Smell
We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.
--- John Updike
He was sure he would die at that table, with her father looking at him and talking about houses and cars and futures, when all he could see was... he was going to die right there. Life would end.
It didn't of course.
Later, it occurred to him his life had been spared only so that he could die in the linen closest, the moment Izzie touched his face. This would kill him. The look in her eyes, telling him things that he feared knowing... he could feel himself dying, and when it didn't happen fast enough he did something he was sure he could not survive. He took her hand away. Just to finish the job.
And when he found himself still standing in front of her, he was confused. He couldn't look at her, because he was supposed to be dead, he was not supposed to survive this, seperating himself from her. All he could do was leave, keeping going, walk outside into the parking lot and assume that at any moment he would be hit by a bus.
By the time George laid in bed later that night, the smell of hotel laundered sheets surrounding him, and Callie reading happily beside him, he realized the universe was not that kind. He should have known. The universe took his father and expected him to survive, and it obviously expected him to survive this. He was expected to live with himself while he lay in bed next to his wife, smelling hotel, but thinking about the smell of muffins.
He is a good man. He doesn't feel like it right now, but he knows that he is. Or he tries to be. And he has been known to have moments of weakness. But this...
Faced with the idea that he will not spontaneously die, George begins to wonder how long he can live like this. He thinks about what could kill him, what he can't live without. When he told Izzie is was "our secret", he meant it. But right now, he doesn't. Right now, he's wondering if insomnia can kill a man because he doesn't know how he's going to sleep A) next to Callie B) without telling her the truth C) knowing Izzie is miles away, thinking he has made a choice and it's not her.
George has not made a choice. Or maybe he has. Maybe he can, knowing what he knows. He is certain he will die if he has to spend another night in this hotel room, smelling what is not muffins. And he knows where he needs to sleep if he wants to live. And he wants to choose life.
~*--------------*~
She slept in her clothes, on top of the mattress, without a single sheet or blanket. She tried anyway, to sleep. His smell was still there, lingering over her bed, maybe her entire room, either way he was there.
She wasn't crying and she didn't know why. She hadn't cried yet - at all. When Denny died, she cried a lot - hysterically. And this felt like a death, but not quite. More like one was coming, looming above her, but not in the big bang kind of way that she'd grown used to. More like a whimper, a dissolve and fade.
How would they survive this? They were Izzie and George. She had been so certain that they could survive anything, but...
Yes, yes - no question. Because despite everything, George and Izzie had done to each other, they were still George and Izzie. This was not the end, and that's why she wasn't crying. Because if this really was death, she would feel it, and she would be crying.
Unless this was denial. She could be completly out of touch with reality and in denial.
But Izzie could still smell George. And that was real. Therefore, this was not death. This was something else.
Part: 1/5
Rating: R, overall
Pairing: George/Izzie
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or any part of Grey's Anatomy.
Summary: We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one. --- John Updike
Spoiler: Follows current GA storyline.
A/N: I'd love your comments, as always! Thanks for reading!
Smell
We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.
--- John Updike
He was sure he would die at that table, with her father looking at him and talking about houses and cars and futures, when all he could see was... he was going to die right there. Life would end.
It didn't of course.
Later, it occurred to him his life had been spared only so that he could die in the linen closest, the moment Izzie touched his face. This would kill him. The look in her eyes, telling him things that he feared knowing... he could feel himself dying, and when it didn't happen fast enough he did something he was sure he could not survive. He took her hand away. Just to finish the job.
And when he found himself still standing in front of her, he was confused. He couldn't look at her, because he was supposed to be dead, he was not supposed to survive this, seperating himself from her. All he could do was leave, keeping going, walk outside into the parking lot and assume that at any moment he would be hit by a bus.
By the time George laid in bed later that night, the smell of hotel laundered sheets surrounding him, and Callie reading happily beside him, he realized the universe was not that kind. He should have known. The universe took his father and expected him to survive, and it obviously expected him to survive this. He was expected to live with himself while he lay in bed next to his wife, smelling hotel, but thinking about the smell of muffins.
He is a good man. He doesn't feel like it right now, but he knows that he is. Or he tries to be. And he has been known to have moments of weakness. But this...
Faced with the idea that he will not spontaneously die, George begins to wonder how long he can live like this. He thinks about what could kill him, what he can't live without. When he told Izzie is was "our secret", he meant it. But right now, he doesn't. Right now, he's wondering if insomnia can kill a man because he doesn't know how he's going to sleep A) next to Callie B) without telling her the truth C) knowing Izzie is miles away, thinking he has made a choice and it's not her.
George has not made a choice. Or maybe he has. Maybe he can, knowing what he knows. He is certain he will die if he has to spend another night in this hotel room, smelling what is not muffins. And he knows where he needs to sleep if he wants to live. And he wants to choose life.
~*--------------*~
She slept in her clothes, on top of the mattress, without a single sheet or blanket. She tried anyway, to sleep. His smell was still there, lingering over her bed, maybe her entire room, either way he was there.
She wasn't crying and she didn't know why. She hadn't cried yet - at all. When Denny died, she cried a lot - hysterically. And this felt like a death, but not quite. More like one was coming, looming above her, but not in the big bang kind of way that she'd grown used to. More like a whimper, a dissolve and fade.
How would they survive this? They were Izzie and George. She had been so certain that they could survive anything, but...
Yes, yes - no question. Because despite everything, George and Izzie had done to each other, they were still George and Izzie. This was not the end, and that's why she wasn't crying. Because if this really was death, she would feel it, and she would be crying.
Unless this was denial. She could be completly out of touch with reality and in denial.
But Izzie could still smell George. And that was real. Therefore, this was not death. This was something else.