(no subject)
Christmas Shopping & Being Cute.
he always thinks things through once, twice, more than thrice.
this time is no different, he'd been back and forth and through it again (many, many times) when mithra, exasperated, had finally said, "oh, what the fuck. JUST GO GET HER SOMETHING ALREADY."
"fine," he says (shortly) and walks out the door.
____
buying things for other people, tablo thinks, is definitely difficult. and embarrassing, as he spends increasingly more time but has increasingly less idea of what he wants to buy.
All the pretty things Jaejoong has ever wanted, he already knows beforehand; what it looks like, where he can get it, and where in his room and life he can fit it into. The cost doesn't matter, though some things are priceless and Jaejoong only buys what he can afford, the stuff in his pockets. The stuff in his heart, he'll keep to himself for now.
Maybe. Later.
Later? Why not now?
Who knows, but Jaejoong knows, but it's okay. Today he will buy as much as he can, for family, friends, perhaps even acquaintance-strangers, the people he'd met whose voices matched the faces he couldn't remember, the names jotted in his cell phone address book he never called...
He'll write cards. People keep those, especially if it's from him because he makes sure that they are all special, not because his name is Kim Jaejoong. He pulls his beanie down a little more, waits behind a man slumped in front of the stationery display. He smells like Tablo.
"Tablo?"
"today is a miserable day," tablo mutters as he looks through shelf after shelf, pile after pile of stationery. sure, they're all very pretty, but he's always preferred regular white paper, himself.
he loves people very much and very hard, and he likes it when the people he loves are happy, but a truth he has to face is that it is very very hard for him to buy gifts.
why wasn't i born observant, he thinks, and he hears someone call his name.
he turns around to look, and immediately turns back to the display. kim jaejoong. maybe he can just pretend that he never.. he never..
tablo groans.
Jaejoong's hurt, but he doesn't show it and so he stops waiting and stands next to Tablo looking at the sheets upon sheets of colorful paper.
"You didn't have to do that," he finally says. It wasn't about himself, Jaejoong had a feeling, but he wanted to know anyway. "So who's it for?"
tablo wants to say, i'm sorry, but he's not sure if he should, jaejoong has already moved on. but he says it anyway, quietly, "i'm sorry, jaejoong, i'm not very good with shopping for people, and shopping centers make me nervous because having people constantly talk to me," he pauses, tries to remember the point he was making, "i- i like to sort of disappear."
he looks sideways at jaejoong but doesn't really dare turn his head. he keeps his eyes on the paper and the cards and the notebooks; with all this to choose from, he thinks a map would be nice.
"and it's not for anyone," he continues, "i'm just.. making cards. writing letters, you know."
Jaejoong covers his smile with a hand, accepts his tumbling apology, and understands. Says "mmm" almost absently but that's how you know he's thinking. Yoochun isn't too good around the holidays and Tablo is the same.
"How can you write letters to no one? Letters are for two people, you and someone else. Are you saying that that someone else is not anyone?"
"Oooh." Jaejoong's eyes dance and he grins. "It's for a girl, huh."
"no," tablo says, quickly (and unconvincingly), "i don't um. know any girls."
holiday season and shopping together really do deteriorate the brain, he thinks. all his fans calling him their 'genius oppa' and everybody clamouring to buy pieces of you, what would they say if they could see him now. "guy can barely string a sentence together."
Jaejoong won't laugh at him, but he'll smile and hang on to Tablo worse than a paparazzi reporter. He wants to know her birthday, her height, what her favorite food was, if she liked rainy days or sunny days, and all those things, and it was like falling in love again but without the heartbreak.
"If it's not for a girl then what are you doing standing here as if it was the most important decision in the world," Jaejoong says, and picks up a random package off the shelf. "Why not this? Or that one, that's the cheapest. Or that one with Hello Kitty on it. What are you going to write to her?"
tablo doesn't look at jaejoong as he speaks, but instead focuses on the storeful of possible presents. "the hello kitty is cute, but don't you think it lacks, i don't know, class? and anyway, i've only been here for this long because i just am really really bad at buying presents."
he picks up a package of green and yellow letter paper with little flower cut-outs. "this is nice," he says absentmindedly, putting it back down. "but it's not right."
Jaejoong pouts; Tablo is no fun. He watches him peruse the aisle some more, both in silence, inside voices in inside minds.
"You know, if you really love her, then what you say to her matters more than anything else-"
is what he should have said but didn't. What he does say to Tablo's face is, "You'll find it,"
and
"it's hiding in your heart," when he walks out.
ORIGINAL co-written with bothers.
he always thinks things through once, twice, more than thrice.
this time is no different, he'd been back and forth and through it again (many, many times) when mithra, exasperated, had finally said, "oh, what the fuck. JUST GO GET HER SOMETHING ALREADY."
"fine," he says (shortly) and walks out the door.
____
buying things for other people, tablo thinks, is definitely difficult. and embarrassing, as he spends increasingly more time but has increasingly less idea of what he wants to buy.
All the pretty things Jaejoong has ever wanted, he already knows beforehand; what it looks like, where he can get it, and where in his room and life he can fit it into. The cost doesn't matter, though some things are priceless and Jaejoong only buys what he can afford, the stuff in his pockets. The stuff in his heart, he'll keep to himself for now.
Maybe. Later.
Later? Why not now?
Who knows, but Jaejoong knows, but it's okay. Today he will buy as much as he can, for family, friends, perhaps even acquaintance-strangers, the people he'd met whose voices matched the faces he couldn't remember, the names jotted in his cell phone address book he never called...
He'll write cards. People keep those, especially if it's from him because he makes sure that they are all special, not because his name is Kim Jaejoong. He pulls his beanie down a little more, waits behind a man slumped in front of the stationery display. He smells like Tablo.
"Tablo?"
"today is a miserable day," tablo mutters as he looks through shelf after shelf, pile after pile of stationery. sure, they're all very pretty, but he's always preferred regular white paper, himself.
he loves people very much and very hard, and he likes it when the people he loves are happy, but a truth he has to face is that it is very very hard for him to buy gifts.
why wasn't i born observant, he thinks, and he hears someone call his name.
he turns around to look, and immediately turns back to the display. kim jaejoong. maybe he can just pretend that he never.. he never..
tablo groans.
Jaejoong's hurt, but he doesn't show it and so he stops waiting and stands next to Tablo looking at the sheets upon sheets of colorful paper.
"You didn't have to do that," he finally says. It wasn't about himself, Jaejoong had a feeling, but he wanted to know anyway. "So who's it for?"
tablo wants to say, i'm sorry, but he's not sure if he should, jaejoong has already moved on. but he says it anyway, quietly, "i'm sorry, jaejoong, i'm not very good with shopping for people, and shopping centers make me nervous because having people constantly talk to me," he pauses, tries to remember the point he was making, "i- i like to sort of disappear."
he looks sideways at jaejoong but doesn't really dare turn his head. he keeps his eyes on the paper and the cards and the notebooks; with all this to choose from, he thinks a map would be nice.
"and it's not for anyone," he continues, "i'm just.. making cards. writing letters, you know."
Jaejoong covers his smile with a hand, accepts his tumbling apology, and understands. Says "mmm" almost absently but that's how you know he's thinking. Yoochun isn't too good around the holidays and Tablo is the same.
"How can you write letters to no one? Letters are for two people, you and someone else. Are you saying that that someone else is not anyone?"
"Oooh." Jaejoong's eyes dance and he grins. "It's for a girl, huh."
"no," tablo says, quickly (and unconvincingly), "i don't um. know any girls."
holiday season and shopping together really do deteriorate the brain, he thinks. all his fans calling him their 'genius oppa' and everybody clamouring to buy pieces of you, what would they say if they could see him now. "guy can barely string a sentence together."
Jaejoong won't laugh at him, but he'll smile and hang on to Tablo worse than a paparazzi reporter. He wants to know her birthday, her height, what her favorite food was, if she liked rainy days or sunny days, and all those things, and it was like falling in love again but without the heartbreak.
"If it's not for a girl then what are you doing standing here as if it was the most important decision in the world," Jaejoong says, and picks up a random package off the shelf. "Why not this? Or that one, that's the cheapest. Or that one with Hello Kitty on it. What are you going to write to her?"
tablo doesn't look at jaejoong as he speaks, but instead focuses on the storeful of possible presents. "the hello kitty is cute, but don't you think it lacks, i don't know, class? and anyway, i've only been here for this long because i just am really really bad at buying presents."
he picks up a package of green and yellow letter paper with little flower cut-outs. "this is nice," he says absentmindedly, putting it back down. "but it's not right."
Jaejoong pouts; Tablo is no fun. He watches him peruse the aisle some more, both in silence, inside voices in inside minds.
"You know, if you really love her, then what you say to her matters more than anything else-"
is what he should have said but didn't. What he does say to Tablo's face is, "You'll find it,"
and
"it's hiding in your heart," when he walks out.
ORIGINAL co-written with bothers.