Spliced AU - Part 2/2
“So you travel a lot then?”
Alex smiled at Matt across the dining table. “Yeah. Been to almost every AP planet by now.”
That smile made Matt's pulse race a little faster. “Karta?” he asked, keeping the hope from his voice.
“No,” Alex said, shaking his head. “Haven't made it there. You like it?”
If anyone else had asked, he would have been ambivalent. “It's home. Lots of natural beauty there-canyons, mountain lakes, green valleys. Do you like that sort of thing?”
“Yeah, I do,” Alex said, his smile wistful this time. “There's something exhilarating about wide open spaces. Freeing.”
“Yes, exactly.” When the stifling confines of Kartan society and family pressure became too much, he sometimes took a weekend trip to the mountains. One of his few escapes.
“It's why I love space so much too,” Alex said, warming to the subject. His sensual voice and the ease with which they were able to talk were enthralling. Matt found himself leaning closer, as if afraid to miss a single word. “Maybe it seems odd, because you're trapped on a ship, but there's something about the endlessness of the universe that seems filled with possibilities.”
“I can see how you'd feel that way,” Matt said, glancing at the stars outside the window. “I'd never been in open space until now, but there is something-”
“Alex?”
Matt tensed, recognizing the voice. Kate reached the dining room a moment later, gaze going straight to Alex. “I need your help with Sam.”
“Sure,” he said, rising to his feet.
Her attention shifted to Matt. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“It's fine,” he lied. Closer acquaintance hadn't warmed him to the young woman.
They disappeared together, and Matt shook his head. Sam was one of the slaves; they'd actually given them names, if they didn't have one already. They were a strange crew.
Ever since boarding the ship he'd noticed that they spent a lot of time with the clones, coddling them. Alex especially. Had the man never owned a slave? You didn’t ask slaves what they wanted, and you certainly didn’t give them a dissertation on how slaves were treated on different planets so they could decide where they wanted to go. It was ridiculous.
But conversations with the crew had revealed this was a Tyrran ship, and after that their behavior made a lot more sense. He’d never met any Tyrrans before, but on Karta they were regarded as soft-hearted idiots too weak to treat slaves with a firm hand. He couldn’t argue some of it-Alex and the other Tyrrans clearly seemed incapable of meting out discipline properly to the slaves-but they weren’t weak. They’d handled the Tercottans easily enough.
Their treatment of the slaves still baffled him though. They gave them all clothes to wear, access to baths, shared their food with them in generous amounts, and never showed any desire to use them sexually. The slaves were given a few tasks, such as laundry and cleaning, but Matt got the sense these were arranged more to give them something to do than for any more concrete purpose.
Matt had never traveled in space before, so his whole sense of time was skewed, but the ship did keep to a time schedule, even if the darkness outside the windows never changed. And during what passed for evening hours here, he spent some time each day talking to all of the crew, but Alex the most. That he was intelligent, witty and well-traveled only made the handsome man even more attractive.
And it made the situation even more complicated for Matt. With good reason, on Karta he’d kept his tastes focused on slaves for years, but out here among open-minded Tyrrans, there was no need for secrecy. Or at least there wouldn’t have been, if not for that ashen woman, Kate. Finally he’d met someone compelling enough to motivate him to take a chance again, but he was already taken. Matt’s initial jealousy had only gotten worse the more he watched them together.
The only consolation was that he knew the other man felt the attraction too. It was subtle but there, in the looks he gave him sometimes, or the way his face glowed during one of their heated debates. But he knew the man wouldn’t act on any of it, not when Matt could see the tender looks he gave that woman sometimes too.
No, after spending a few days on the ship with him-this smaller vessel had a less powerful engine than the Tercottan one, lengthening the return journey-Matt was no closer to understanding Alex. He just wished he didn’t have the growing desire to find some excuse to stay longer, so he could get to know him better. In lots of ways, the baser part of him added.
He pushed the delicious images that followed from his mind. Leaning against the doorway of the dining area, he was currently indulging in his new favorite hobby: observing Alex. Considering they were getting close to Karta, Matt had to make the most of the time he had left.
Idly he fingered the hem of the borrowed shirt he wore. While the slaves had received clothes from some communal pile of extras, he strongly suspected this was one of Alex’s shirts. The idea warmed him, in various ways.
Watching Alex struggle with the blond slave again, who could only cower and stammer whenever he was asked for an opinion, Matt couldn’t take it anymore. “Alex, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah,” the other man said, his brow furrowing as he rose from his chair. “What’s up?”
Matt guided him out of earshot of the slave. “What the ashen hell are you doing?”
“What?” Anger began to spark in Alex’s eyes.
Matt finally said the words he’d been holding back since the first day. “They’re slaves. They don’t know how to decide anything for themselves. Why do you keep trying?”
The anger he’d seen a moment ago was nothing to what was there now. “How do you think they got that way? They were never allowed to decide.”
“Because they’re too childish to make adult decisions. You can’t just force them to make one and expect them to do it right.”
The clenching of his jaw told Matt that there were harsher words Alex longed to say, but he kept himself civil. “I’m not forcing them to do anything. I’m actually trying to give them a choice. It’s the right thing to do.”
Matt shook his head. “The right thing to do is take them back to their owners.”
Alex didn’t hold back this time. “Karta is the worst planet out there for slaves. They’re treated like dogs, even worse than that sometimes. Unless any of them actually want to go back there, I’m not taking them back.”
Matt frowned. He’d never been off of Karta before. “Is it really that bad?”
A bitter laugh. “Yes.”
Matt couldn’t help bristling at the criticism of his homeworld, but he’d no comparisons with other planets to draw from, while he knew Alex did.
“You’re still obligated to report the slaves you retrieved,” Matt pointed out.
Alex gave him a look he found patronizing, as if he’d said something funny. “But I’m not going to, and neither are you.”
Matt grimaced. Alex was right. He wouldn’t say anything because he owed them. And because you’re infatuated with the man, his brain unhelpfully added.
Satisfied, Alex said, “Only one’s expressed a desire to return. The others are terrified to go back.” Alex nodded to the blond he’d been speaking to. “He’s the only hold out. We’re getting close to Karta. If he hasn’t decided by the time we arrive, I’m taking him elsewhere.”
Matt sighed. “Those slaves are property. Refusing to return them is theft.”
“They are people, not things!” Alex exclaimed, looking ready to shake him.
“They’re clones,” Matt corrected him. “They aren’t people like us.”
Alex’s gaze was hot enough to burn, his ferocity bringing that incredible glow to his face. “You’re wrong. They’re people, and they deserved to be treated with kindness and respect.”
Shaking his head, Matt laughed. “Ridiculous. You’re way too soft on them! What’s next, reading them bedtime stories and holding them when they have a bad dream?”
With a muttered growl, Alex stalked out of the room.
Instead of feeling victorious for getting the last word, Matt just felt like an ass. The last thing he’d wanted to do was push Alex away.
Hours later, Matt sought him out again.
Alex was all the way in the back of the ship, above the engine room. Matt paused at the end of the hallway, watching him in profile as he looked out the window. His hair was down, tousled about his shoulders, and he should’ve looked more approachable. But the remnants of their heated words lingered.
“Alex,” Matt said hesitantly, stepping closer.
“Yeah?” He faced Matt, his irritation not having faded much.
Putting his hands in his pockets, Matt leaned against the wall near him. He’d never been graceful at apologizing, but they’d too little time left for him to let things remain this way.
“Didn’t mean to upset you,” he said, gruffness thickening his voice. “I just don’t understand you.”
Alex looked away, but Matt still caught the twitch of his lips. “That’s obvious.”
Matt pressed on, before he lost his courage. “I don’t know why you try so hard with them, and I won’t pretend to agree that it’s right, but what I didn’t get a chance to say was that I think it is noble of you. Trying to help them.”
Despite the fact that it was theft, Alex was acting out of concern, not greed. Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons-it wasn’t something Matt had ever encountered firsthand before.
Alex turned away from the window to look at him again, his face softening. He seemed to perceive that it wasn’t an easy thing for Matt to say. “Thanks.”
Matt moved closer, and before he could think better of it, he reached out, placing a hand on Alex’s arm. The other man tensed beneath him, and the tension in the air snapped higher.
“You’re welcome,” he said, the words emerging huskier than he’d intended.
They gazed at each other, a wealth of things unspoken, and suddenly his mouth was on Alex’s, the kiss shattering his control over his feelings. This man called to him, the answer to his loneliness. On some deep subconscious level, he’d known that from the start. Triumph blazed in his heart as Alex responded, his passion equaling Matt’s, pressing him against the window. Nothing mattered then but the feel of Alex against him, the brush of his lips, the thrust of his tongue, the touch of his hands, all of it a feast unlike any he’d ever savored.
And he wanted it all. One hand curled into the soft hair he’d longed to feel between his fingers while the other clutched Alex’s waist, wishing to never let go. They belonged together. Surely there was no way Alex could deny that now.
And then he pulled away. Shocked, Alex stared at him, his face flushed and his breaths shallow and fast. Matt looked back at him, feeling just as overwhelmed, but uplifted as well. He smiled with elation, unsure he had the words for it. “That was…”
Alex’s expression dimmed, reality taking the moment away already. There was sad knowledge in his eyes as he said, “That was... many wonderful things, but it can’t be more.”
Hurt replaced hope. “What? Why?”
Already Alex was closing down, pushing him away. “I like my life. I don’t want to toss it aside just because of a case of lust.”
He’d felt lust plenty of times. This was far more than that, how could Alex not see it? He just didn’t want to take the chance. “You’re an ashen coward.”
A spark of anger, quickly extinguished. “Think what you will. But this isn’t going to happen.”
Fuck. He was as helpless in this as he had been in that cage. Alex was being a fool, but Matt couldn’t force him to do anything, especially when he owed him his life. Instinctively knowing there was great potential here, sabotaging Alex’s relationship with Kate wasn’t beyond his desperate consideration, but he didn’t want Alex to hate him. No, he definitely didn’t want that.
He stepped forward, and the other man moved back, maintaining the distance between them. “If your life is so great, Alex, then why is this so tempting?” Matt challenged, his smile bitter.
Alex shrugged. “It’s you I don’t trust, not myself.”
“Bullshit.”
Alex moved past him, brushing off the hand that tried to stop his escape. He paused in the doorway, something unreadable in his face. “This doesn’t have to be hard. Just let it go.”
Let it go? Matt watched him walk away, dumbfounded. If Alex felt half of what he did, there was no way he could believe this was easy to ignore. That brought on the unhappy thought, Maybe this is one-sided. Maybe he really does feel nothing more than lust.
That morose possibility only added to the crushing disappointment.
Alex avoided him after that, and Matt didn’t catch him alone again. Considering it took only a few more hours to reach the Kartan space station, there hadn’t been much time left anyway. But he’d hoped before leaving to make some sort of plans to see him again. Alex would never agree to that now.
As they were approaching the dock, Matt looked for him again, returning the clothes in his hands ostensibly his excuse for seeking him out. He found the man with the blond slave. Their backs to the door, the clone was curled up with Alex on a couch, his head against the man’s shoulder. Stifling a flash of jealousy, Matt hid by the doorway, straining to hear their words.
“Does Master Muldane really have to go, sir?”
There was a pause as Alex petted his hair. “Yeah, kid, he does. And you can’t go back with him.”
“But-” The slave stopped, realizing his protest was atrocious behavior. “Yes, sir.”
Alex sighed, shifting the little slave in his arms. “If you went back there you’d be returned to your owner. He couldn’t keep you.” The hand rubbing soothing circles on the blond’s back paused. “Staying away is for the best.”
The slave murmured a dutiful agreement, and Matt walked away, fists clenching the clothes in his hands. Stubborn fool.
When he said goodbye to the rest of the crew, he struggled to keep his resentment of Kate in check. The others, like Acto and Cera, he had no issues with. They were genuinely nice people, if far different in thought and custom to the fellow Kartans he was used to. But he could not look at Kate impartially, even though he knew she’d done nothing wrong.
Except have good taste, Matt noted.
At least Alex didn’t stand there entwined with her, cheerfully waving him off. No, he might have rejected him, but Alex wasn’t insensitive.
Once he’d spoken to everyone else, Alex approached him. “It was good to meet you, Matt.”
The polite niceties made him want to hit someone, but his pride forced him to play along. “Same to you. Thanks for helping me.”
“You’re welcome.”
Alex started to back away, but Matt held out his hand. The slight hesitation gave Alex away, despite the seeming innocence of the gesture.
He took his hand, as Matt had known he would. It would’ve looked far odder if he hadn’t. That same connection was there, the warmth flowing up his arm from their joined hands, especially knowing it was the last contact they’d have.
Matt watched Alex’s eyes the whole time, and caught what he was looking for: regret.
One last brief squeeze, and then Alex slipped his hand away. “Good luck to you, Matt.”
“Yeah, same to you, Alex,” Matt said, not sure how he got the words out. Stifling the urge to glance back, he walked away, his palm still tingling, remembering the look in Alex’s eyes.
It was an answer, just not the one he’d wanted.