Stupid
Title: Stupid
Fandom: Law & Order:UK
Characters/Pairing: Matt/Alesha
Disclaimer: Law & Order and all its characters belong to Dick Wolf.
Summary: Alesha knows better, but she can't help herself.
Rating: PG-13 I suppose
Author's notes: A companion piece to 'Maybe'. Again, slight spoilers for 'Unloved' but only a passing reference.
“Matt? Nah, he’ll be in the George. Sitting in the corner, staring into his pint.” Ronnie sounded adamant, but Alesha wasn’t convinced. After a week as nasty as this one had been, it was unlikely Matt Devlin would be looking for a solitary weekend.
“Ten quid says you’re wrong.” She didn’t know what made her say it, and Ronnie’s raised eyebrows made her wish she hadn’t. He studied her for a moment and she managed not to squirm under his gaze.
“Alright,” he said eventually, flicking off his computer and reaching for his coat. “Where do you want to check first?”
She hesitated. “Why don’t we split up? You check the George and I’ll…” she trailed off as Ronnie’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline again and he gave her a knowing look. “What?”
“Nothing.” Ronnie still had that smirk on his face. He stepped back and motioned her towards the door. “Shall we go?” They walked out of the office and left the building together, splitting up at the door as she had suggested. “Alesha?” Ronnie called out to her as she walked away, “don’t be too disappointed when you get there.”
She wasn’t far away from the bar she had in mind, but it was far enough that, alone, with nothing to distract her, she couldn’t keep from dwelling on Danny and Jono. One young life over and the other as good as. She fought to bring her thoughts back to the present; the case was over and done with and obsessing over it wasn’t going to change anything.
She arrived at the bar, a place with aspirations towards minimalist classiness, though really it was just somewhere to get drunk and pull, and for a moment she wondered what the hell she was doing. She had heard of Matt Devlin’s reputation long before she ever met him, though she’d never heard anything bad about him; he wasn’t a bastard who left a trail of broken hearts in his wake. On the contrary, it seemed they felt honoured just to have been in his presence, never mind his bed. Alesha had shaken her head at the secretaries she’d heard talking about him - intelligent women who nevertheless turned into giggling idiots at the mere mention of DS Devlin. She had been certain she could never be like that, and yet here she was, tracking him down on a Friday night.
She hesitated at the door, unsure. Maybe she should just leave, tell Ronnie he hadn’t been there. Go home, run a bath and enjoy the solitude. She pushed the door open and went inside.
The place was only half full at this time and she spotted him easily. He was sitting alone in a corner, head bowed, eyes half-closed. He turned his glass between his hands, studying the movement. Just as Ronnie had predicted. Women all over the room were glancing sideways at him, but none approached. It was easy to see why; everything about Matt just then screamed ‘leave me alone’. She hesitated again, but only for a second. She hadn’t got to her current position by being afraid of a challenge. Besides, they worked together and there was no reason at all why she couldn’t speak to him, no matter how forbidding he looked. She’d noticed the way he looked at her, and though she didn’t kid herself that it was any different to the way he looked at any other attractive woman, she couldn’t help hoping that he wouldn’t mind the intrusion.
She walked over to his table, watching his hands as he rolled the glass between them. He didn’t look up at her approach; she was not sure if he was even aware of her. On a whim, she sat beside him on the sofa rather than pulling out the chair opposite. She smiled as he turned to look at her, feeling a kick in her stomach as she watched his own smile change from polite disinterest to what she hoped was genuine pleasure.
“You’re here. Brilliant,” she said. And it really was. Something about him never failed to make her smile, no matter how bad a day she was having.
“Yes, I’m here. Why is that brilliant? And why are you here?” He looked confused, as well he might. Why was she here? Her gaze landing once again on his hands. They had stopped their restless fidgeting and were now clasped lightly in front of him, his arms braced on his knees. She had heard stories about what those hands could do. She leaned forward and placed her hand on his wrist for a moment, feeling the warmth of his skin and the contrast of the metal of his watch.
“It’s brilliant”, she said, and stopped. It’s brilliant because… I didn’t have to sacrifice my dignity and fight my way through hordes of women just to speak to you? Because you look genuinely happy to see me? Because every time you smile at me I feel like I’m sinking through the floor? Because even though I know better, I don’t seem to be able to turn round and leave? He leaned towards her slightly, grinning from ear to ear, and for a moment all she could think of was that he was almost close enough to kiss her. “It’s brilliant,” she said at last, “because it means I win.”
He frowned again. “You win? You win what?”
Time to come clean. “I had a bet with Ronnie. I said you’d be here and Ronnie said you’d be in the George. And here you are. Not in the George.”
Matt laughed. “That’s it? That’s what you were so pleased with yourself about?” His laugh was almost immediately replaced by a frown. “Hang on. What are you and Ronnie doing making bets about me?”
She shrugged. “Everyone needs a hobby, even CPS. I know what yours is, that’s why I thought you’d be in this place.” A hobby. That was one way of putting it. “Ronnie thought you’d be somewhere quieter where you could nurse your pint and brood in peace.” Matt looked at his glass on the table, his mouth twisting into something that might be called a smile.
Her Matt-watching was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. She reached into her bag to retrieve it and grinned when she saw who was calling. “Speak of the devil.” She sat back against the cushions and flipped open the phone. “Hi Ronnie.”
“Hello Alesha. He’s not here, so I assume he’s with you.”
“Yeah, he’s here.” She was aware of Matt watching her and she shifted in her seat. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his hand resting on the sofa and tried not to imagine how it would feel running through her hair.
“So, was he up to his usual tricks? Did you have to retrieve him from beneath a pile of women?”
“I didn’t, actually. He was sitting by himself in a corner, moping. Looks like we were both right.”
Ronnie laughed. “I knew it. Do me a favour, Alesha, look after him, alright? Stay for a couple of drinks, cheer him up a bit.” Look after him? As far as Alesha could see, Matt was perfectly capable of looking after himself. Then she thought back to how he had looked when she first came in.
“I will. See you later, Ronnie.”
“Goodnight. Don’t do anything stupid,” Ronnie said, then hung up. Don’t do anything stupid? Stay and have drinks with Matt and don’t do anything stupid? Wasn’t that an oxymoron? She put her phone away and looked up to find Matt still watching her intently. She wondered what would happen if she were to move across now and straddle his lap. At the very least they’d get kicked out. Despite her best efforts, the image of him beneath her, head leaned back against the couch, his eyes closed and breathing uneven, made its way into her mind’s eye.
“So, what did Ronnie say?”
Alesha pushed the image away. “He says you’ve got to at least pretend to be a gentleman and buy me a drink, since I had to come all the way here looking for you.” Her hand had found its way to his wrist again, seemingly of its own accord. She resisted the urge to run her fingers up and down his forearm.
“Nobody made you come looking for me. I was quite happy by myself.”
“Yeah, that’s what it looked like.” He was watching her again, which wasn’t the same as just looking at her. It had a different quality to it that she couldn’t put her finger on. More intense. She cleared her throat. “So. How about it then?”
He looked startled. “Er, what?”
“Buy a girl a drink?” She sounded like an idiot. He laughed though, so maybe she’d got away with sounding like she was joking.
“Sure, why not? Make yourself comfortable, I’ll get them in.” She watched him walk away, trying not to stare at the way his trousers pulled across his backside. He nodded and smiled at two blonde girls who were also watching him and they simpered at him in return. Alesha rolled her eyes. One of the girls glanced in her direction and leaned over to say something to her friend. Alesha guessed it wasn’t complimentary.
She stood to take her coat off, determinedly not looking in the direction of the bar. By the time she’d got herself sorted out and settled he was back, brandishing two glasses. It was nothing short of miraculous in the rapidly-filling pub, and a quick glance at the blushing girl behind the bar told her how he’d got served so quickly. She didn’t know whether to be appalled or impressed that he seemed to be able to get whatever he wanted with a smile and a wink.
“Here you are, my lady. Never let anyone say I’m not a gentleman. Especially Ronnie Brooks.”
“Thank you very much, sir. I’ll make sure he doesn’t slander your name any further.” He didn’t need to know that Ronnie hadn’t actually slandered his name in the first place. He handed her drink to her with a smile that she couldn’t help returning. She settled back with her drink, fidgeting against the cushions. Matt raised his eyebrows.
“Comfy?” She got the impression he was laughing at her.
“I am now.” She grinned at him as he sat down and stretched his arm along the back of the sofa, completely at ease. If it weren’t for the noise and bustle around them, they could be alone in her flat.
“Tell me something about working for the CPS that only an insider would know.” That was an odd way of putting it.
“Are you pumping me for information?”
He frowned at her again. He did that a lot. She found she liked the thought of confounding him. “Why would I do that?” he said. “We’re on the same side. I’m just curious what you think of your work.” She almost laughed. No doubt he was curious what every girl thought of her work. At least for that night. If he thought she was pouring her heart out to him, he could think again. Besides, she’d promised Ronnie she would cheer him up. She smiled; she knew just the story to tell him. George would kill her, but he’d get over it.
His expression grew ever more incredulous as she spoke, until eventually he stopped laughing and just watched her in disbelief as she talked. She could hardly blame him; she would never have believed it of George either. He rested his head against the back of the sofa, and his eyes closed momentarily. She almost choked on her drink. It was almost exactly as she had pictured it, albeit from a different angle. Was he doing this to her on purpose? She knew he was good at reading people but she didn’t think he could actually pick images straight out of her head. She trailed off as she watched him swallow, following the movement of his throat. He turned his head to look at her and smiled. “I’m still listening. Just trying to work the kinks out of my neck.” She almost offered him a neck-rub but the twinkle in his eye stopped her. That was exactly what he was angling for. Get a grip Alesha.
She pulled herself together and continued with her story, conscious of every reaction and every smile. They were sitting so close that every slight shift of her weight made her leg brush against his. This was bad. Matt Devlin was a man who, however much of a nice guy he may be, was demonstrably incapable of keeping his dick to himself. Thinking of him as anything but a colleague it was occasionally fun to flirt with was stupid, and one thing Alesha Phillips had never been was stupid.
And yet here she was, having deliberately sought him out, thrilling every time she made him laugh, delighting at every touch, every smile, every time he said her name, for crying out loud. She should leave now. She’d done what she said. She’d found him, won her bet, shared a drink and cheered him up. She should make some excuse, tell him she had somewhere to be. He gestured at her empty glass with his own. “Fancy another?”
She hesitated, then smiled. “Sure. Why not?”
