Fic: You Can Do Better Than Me (But I Can't Do Better Than You) - Naomi/Emily
Title You Can Do Better Than Me (But I Can't Do Better Than You)
Pairing Naomi/Emily
Rating R for language
Words 1300
Summary All because of Naomi. Because Naomi caught her attention and because Emily thinks that she’s safe there.
A/N Thanks muchly to the lovely immortality for the beta. And this is NOT PORN! Please feel free to read anywhere :) Title taken from a song by Death Cab for Cutie
It's never been quite like this before but then, at the same time, she can't ever remember things being any different.
Like, time started, and then there was stuff and then there was her. And she's just always been there, somewhere, at the back of her mind.
And it's probably unhealthy, really, that she thinks about her so much but it's not like she can stop now. She's in there, in her mind. All over her, really.
She'd scrub it all away if she could, but she knows it's no good.
Emily is there, engrained into her skin, into her mind.
Into her heart.
****
There's a morning, not long after they had officially gotten together, when Naomi wakes up and Emily is gone.
She panics at first, which is ridiculous because there have been more mornings in her life where she's woken up without Emily than she's woken up with her, so it's kind of a surprise that it hits her like this.
Of course Emily's not far, and Naomi starts to relax when she hears the toilet flush and sees Emily come back in through her bedroom door, shivering in just her knickers.
She's panicky-rushing as she shuts the door, trying to keep quiet because she must think Naomi's still asleep, and Naomi smiles as she watches her; red hair splayed out against pale shoulders, tousled from the night before and it hits her again, low in her gut.
I love you, she thinks as Emily turns around and sees that she's awake.
"Fucking hell, it's cold," she mutters through chattering teeth and Naomi peels back the covers and waits for her to climb in.
"Jesus!" she squeals into Emily's shoulder as cold feet brush against her own under the covers.
"Told you," Emily smiles, still shaking.
Naomi wraps her arms around her. She can be warm enough for the both of them if she tries hard enough.
She's just not sure if that's something she can do. Not right now, anyway.
****
It's not a question of how much she loves, she thinks one day as she's sitting smoking on a wall, watching Emily nip up and down the street outside of her house just after she's got her moped license.
She doesn't need to question it because she knows how much by the way her heart climbs up her chest and into her throat every time Emily takes her eyes off the road and flashes her a brilliant smile.
Emily doesn't notice that she's panicking, waiting for her to fall off while she's distracted. She doesn’t see how Naomi’s watching her fall, cigarette held loosely between her fingers as the fire dies, and how she’s seeing her body hit the deck and hearing her cry out in pain.
All because of Naomi. Because Naomi caught her attention and because Emily thinks that she’s safe there.
It’s all Naomi can think, that it’s all her fault, that Emily’s like this. That she made Emily think that she was all right because Naomi was there when Naomi knows the truth, really.
That’s she’s the reason Emily would fall when all she ever wanted to do was protect her.
****
It’s not there so much on the warmer days, those days in summer when they just exist in Naomi’s bed.
There’s no outside world there. No mums or sisters or college or mopeds. It’s just the best, really.
Which is why Naomi feels a little like she can’t breathe when she goes to get them some tea. Even in the rooms where Emily isn’t Naomi can still feel her.
Emily’s cardigan is draped over the back of a kitchen chair and her bag is on the table. Her coursework is on the table where they’d left it when Naomi started rubbing her hand up and down Emily’s thigh and Emily had turned to her with eyes darker than before and Naomi had kissed her more firmly than she’d meant to.
There was no option, then, but to drag her by the hand to her bedroom and push her down onto the bed and kiss her cheeks and smooth her hand up her arms and down to her fingertips where their hands moulded together as their legs locked around each other’s.
There’s never been an option to say no, Naomi thinks as she swirls the bag around in Emily’s cup until it’s stewed and she has to pour it all away and start over.
She wonders if there’s a way they can start over if it all goes wrong. But she can never say it to Emily because she fixes it all before she even knows about it, makes a new cup and takes it up to where Emily’s waiting, cheeks still flushed and smiling at nothing and everything all at once.
****
“Mum says that Kieran’s moving in,” she tells Emily one night over vegetarian lasagne that they both made without fucking it up.
“Oh?” Emily says and she’s immediately paying attention, eyes away from the TV and fixed on Naomi’s.
“Yeah,” she goes on. “And that his house is going to be free.”
Emily smirks and quirks an eyebrow, which Naomi can see now that Emily’s let her fringe grow out and away from her face. She looks older and younger all at once, Naomi thinks, and has to try hard not to lean in and kiss her right then.
“And?”
“And, if I want, I can move in.” She turns away from Emily then because she knows the look that’ll be on her face. All beaming and happy and expectant.
“And I’m going to move in. By myself.”
She expects, then, that Emily’s smile will drop. That she’ll have thought too much into it.
So Naomi waits. Waits for that breaking sound in her voice, for the disappointment.
But it never comes.
“That’s fucking brilliant,” Emily’s saying and Naomi looks around to catch her grinning. “A place all to yourself, you lucky cow.”
“Yeah,” Naomi says and it is kind of cool but she can’t think it now, now that Emily thinks it’s even better than she thought it was.
“I’ll help you move. Maybe we can fit a few boxes on the back of the bike,” Emily winks at her and turns back to the TV, smiling even as she takes another mouthful and Naomi watches her lips curve around the fork and envelop it with her mouth.
It makes Naomi’s skin prickle in a way she’s familiar with now, watching Emily consume something.
She watches Emily chew until it’s all swallowed and gone and inside her.
Naomi lets the rest of hers go cold while she watches TV without seeing anything. She’s not sure if she’ll ever be able to concentrate on anything ever again, not with Emily so near.
****
Emily stays over the first night. Of course she does - Naomi wanted her to.
They’ve unpacked most of her stuff and almost finished a pizza and it’s not too late by the time they go to bed, which Naomi almost feels sick about when she thinks of it as theirs.
She can’t help it, though. She wants it, and her. All of her. And now they have the place to themselves she can take whenever she wants, whatever she wants.
Emily thinks that she’s given her the freedom to do it, that her mum has given her space to just be and that she’s taken it freely.
She falls asleep with Emily wrapped around her, taking in the silence of the new place that’s meant to be hers but already feels like it’s Emily’s too.
There’s no way Naomi can keep them both safe like this, and she knows it.
Something’s got to break at some point. She just hopes that she can fix it before Emily has to see it start to crack.
Pairing Naomi/Emily
Rating R for language
Words 1300
Summary All because of Naomi. Because Naomi caught her attention and because Emily thinks that she’s safe there.
A/N Thanks muchly to the lovely immortality for the beta. And this is NOT PORN! Please feel free to read anywhere :) Title taken from a song by Death Cab for Cutie
It's never been quite like this before but then, at the same time, she can't ever remember things being any different.
Like, time started, and then there was stuff and then there was her. And she's just always been there, somewhere, at the back of her mind.
And it's probably unhealthy, really, that she thinks about her so much but it's not like she can stop now. She's in there, in her mind. All over her, really.
She'd scrub it all away if she could, but she knows it's no good.
Emily is there, engrained into her skin, into her mind.
Into her heart.
****
There's a morning, not long after they had officially gotten together, when Naomi wakes up and Emily is gone.
She panics at first, which is ridiculous because there have been more mornings in her life where she's woken up without Emily than she's woken up with her, so it's kind of a surprise that it hits her like this.
Of course Emily's not far, and Naomi starts to relax when she hears the toilet flush and sees Emily come back in through her bedroom door, shivering in just her knickers.
She's panicky-rushing as she shuts the door, trying to keep quiet because she must think Naomi's still asleep, and Naomi smiles as she watches her; red hair splayed out against pale shoulders, tousled from the night before and it hits her again, low in her gut.
I love you, she thinks as Emily turns around and sees that she's awake.
"Fucking hell, it's cold," she mutters through chattering teeth and Naomi peels back the covers and waits for her to climb in.
"Jesus!" she squeals into Emily's shoulder as cold feet brush against her own under the covers.
"Told you," Emily smiles, still shaking.
Naomi wraps her arms around her. She can be warm enough for the both of them if she tries hard enough.
She's just not sure if that's something she can do. Not right now, anyway.
****
It's not a question of how much she loves, she thinks one day as she's sitting smoking on a wall, watching Emily nip up and down the street outside of her house just after she's got her moped license.
She doesn't need to question it because she knows how much by the way her heart climbs up her chest and into her throat every time Emily takes her eyes off the road and flashes her a brilliant smile.
Emily doesn't notice that she's panicking, waiting for her to fall off while she's distracted. She doesn’t see how Naomi’s watching her fall, cigarette held loosely between her fingers as the fire dies, and how she’s seeing her body hit the deck and hearing her cry out in pain.
All because of Naomi. Because Naomi caught her attention and because Emily thinks that she’s safe there.
It’s all Naomi can think, that it’s all her fault, that Emily’s like this. That she made Emily think that she was all right because Naomi was there when Naomi knows the truth, really.
That’s she’s the reason Emily would fall when all she ever wanted to do was protect her.
****
It’s not there so much on the warmer days, those days in summer when they just exist in Naomi’s bed.
There’s no outside world there. No mums or sisters or college or mopeds. It’s just the best, really.
Which is why Naomi feels a little like she can’t breathe when she goes to get them some tea. Even in the rooms where Emily isn’t Naomi can still feel her.
Emily’s cardigan is draped over the back of a kitchen chair and her bag is on the table. Her coursework is on the table where they’d left it when Naomi started rubbing her hand up and down Emily’s thigh and Emily had turned to her with eyes darker than before and Naomi had kissed her more firmly than she’d meant to.
There was no option, then, but to drag her by the hand to her bedroom and push her down onto the bed and kiss her cheeks and smooth her hand up her arms and down to her fingertips where their hands moulded together as their legs locked around each other’s.
There’s never been an option to say no, Naomi thinks as she swirls the bag around in Emily’s cup until it’s stewed and she has to pour it all away and start over.
She wonders if there’s a way they can start over if it all goes wrong. But she can never say it to Emily because she fixes it all before she even knows about it, makes a new cup and takes it up to where Emily’s waiting, cheeks still flushed and smiling at nothing and everything all at once.
****
“Mum says that Kieran’s moving in,” she tells Emily one night over vegetarian lasagne that they both made without fucking it up.
“Oh?” Emily says and she’s immediately paying attention, eyes away from the TV and fixed on Naomi’s.
“Yeah,” she goes on. “And that his house is going to be free.”
Emily smirks and quirks an eyebrow, which Naomi can see now that Emily’s let her fringe grow out and away from her face. She looks older and younger all at once, Naomi thinks, and has to try hard not to lean in and kiss her right then.
“And?”
“And, if I want, I can move in.” She turns away from Emily then because she knows the look that’ll be on her face. All beaming and happy and expectant.
“And I’m going to move in. By myself.”
She expects, then, that Emily’s smile will drop. That she’ll have thought too much into it.
So Naomi waits. Waits for that breaking sound in her voice, for the disappointment.
But it never comes.
“That’s fucking brilliant,” Emily’s saying and Naomi looks around to catch her grinning. “A place all to yourself, you lucky cow.”
“Yeah,” Naomi says and it is kind of cool but she can’t think it now, now that Emily thinks it’s even better than she thought it was.
“I’ll help you move. Maybe we can fit a few boxes on the back of the bike,” Emily winks at her and turns back to the TV, smiling even as she takes another mouthful and Naomi watches her lips curve around the fork and envelop it with her mouth.
It makes Naomi’s skin prickle in a way she’s familiar with now, watching Emily consume something.
She watches Emily chew until it’s all swallowed and gone and inside her.
Naomi lets the rest of hers go cold while she watches TV without seeing anything. She’s not sure if she’ll ever be able to concentrate on anything ever again, not with Emily so near.
****
Emily stays over the first night. Of course she does - Naomi wanted her to.
They’ve unpacked most of her stuff and almost finished a pizza and it’s not too late by the time they go to bed, which Naomi almost feels sick about when she thinks of it as theirs.
She can’t help it, though. She wants it, and her. All of her. And now they have the place to themselves she can take whenever she wants, whatever she wants.
Emily thinks that she’s given her the freedom to do it, that her mum has given her space to just be and that she’s taken it freely.
She falls asleep with Emily wrapped around her, taking in the silence of the new place that’s meant to be hers but already feels like it’s Emily’s too.
There’s no way Naomi can keep them both safe like this, and she knows it.
Something’s got to break at some point. She just hopes that she can fix it before Emily has to see it start to crack.