Dell is FINALLY replacing my LCD monitor!
I pray that you never have to call Dell Customer Care and Technical Support for a replacement product. I would never wish such a fate upon my enemies.
My problems with Dell started about 3 months ago, when my Dell Ultrasharp 1704FP started to develop "a few bad pixels."
Yeah.
I called tech support to get the problem diagnosed, but they wanted a customer number or order number. Seeing as I got the monitor nearly two years ago, I can't remember if I even bought it from Dell directly, so I have no records of the purchase. So, I made up an excuse: the monitor was a Christmas present. I had hoped this would make the swap easier.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
This lack of information about the purchase suddenly made things a whole lot more difficult. Each tech kept rebuffing me with this business about "transfer of ownership" from one person to another in order to process the replacement request. I tried 5 different agents who each told me the same thing. And with each phone call, a little piece of me died inside.
On a beautiful sunny day, I spent my morning in a gloomy bedroom, on the phone with "Krista," a timid woman with a heavy Indian accent. Krista must have been new at her job, because I kept hearing a man's voice over her shoulder, guiding her on how to use the system. At length, she transferred me to "Bill" who I can only assume was the overshadowing voice of doom in the background.
Bill was happy to assist me in resolving this issue. His job title, "Case Specialist," said so. I assumed this to mean that he has earned the distinct pleasure of getting an earful from the crabbiest of customers who "demand to speak with a supervisor!" In other words, he's the Official Customer Service Bitch. Being acutely aware of his position, I tried not to take advantage of him and didn't want to pressure him. Instead, I gently reassured him that he was being more than helpful. He probably needed the encouragement more than I did.
Bill had one thing going for him, though: he had a very pleasant Texan accent. Yes. A real-live, honest-to-goodness American at Dell Technical Support. I shall treasure that moment forever.
Anyways, Bill tried looking up my customer information seven ways from Sunday, and when he thought he had found something good, he kept saying "Hey y'all I thank we jes' struck gold here." He tried for a little while longer and then gave up in frustration. "I've got one more card up my sleeve, bud." Oh? Really? Well then, color me intrigued. What is this card you're going to play? "Just give me the serial number from the back of the monitor, and I'll call you back when we get this taken care of." I gave him the number and thanked him once again for his efforts. At last, he said he would get back to me, so I took down his badge number and telephone extension. Before hanging up, Bill expressed jealously at my having received a flat panel as a Christmas present! (I hadn't the heart to tell him that I had actually bought it).
Three business days had passed, and Bill had not called me back. I tried his 5 digit extension, but the number was "not in service." Confused, I contacted a customer care rep. She said that Dell now only has 7-digit extensions, and by adding "72" to the beginning of the number, I should be able to reach Bill. No dice. I asked another rep to try and locate Bill by his badge number.
No such employee. WTF?!?!? Great. A dead end. The cycle restarts.
On the next phone call, I try the Customer Service number. The rep introduced himself as "Khan," much like the villain of Star Trek fame. KHAAAAAAAAN! then transferred me to George, a sporting fellow from Technical Support in the republic of Bhundai or some other far off forgotten country where people speak with funny accents. I feared that this telephone call would be just as fruitless as the last, but I forged ahead anyway, giving the tech all the information he needed. As always, I explained that this monitor was a gift from an unknown recipient.
Then Khan said those magic words: "Let me just confirm your shipping address." YES!!! I am FINALLY getting a replacement for my LCD monitor. The new LCD should be here TOMORROW AFTERNOON! (omg) I like to write letters of appreciation where they are due, so this tech's department head will be receiving an email in short order.
And this is how I feel right now:
The moral of the story? Don't ever deal with Dell! No, seriously, don't lose your receipts. Had I found those records, this whole process would have been much easier.
update: the new monitor arrives on-time and well-packed!