(no subject)
anyone in guard will appreciate this =)
~THE CREATION OF BAND
In the beginning, there was nothing. On the first day
(insert the story of creation here, adapt it as you
will)...
On the eighth day, God was tired of the boringness of life,
so He decided to spice it up. Therefore He decided to
create a marching band.
First, He created the DRUMLINE. Once He heard them play, He
covered his ears and ran screaming into space.
Unfortunately, He could not undo His creation.
On the ninth day, He created the BRASS instruments.
Thinking that this was the epitome of good music, He
ordered them to play. Again, He ran screaming.
On the tenth day, He created the WOODWINDS. Fearing that He
had done worse, He ordered them to play and sat cowering in
a corner. He was surprised that they actually sounded
decent(compared to the others).
On the eleventh day, he decided to put all of His musical
creations together. Hearing them play, He decided something
was missing.
So on the twelvth day, He created the most superior life
form in the world of marching bands: The COLOR GUARD. Once
He saw them perform, He was mesmerized. "These people are
BY FAR THE BEST" he said. And that is the story of
creation.
~*Colorguard: Sweet little girls...With big metal sticks*
~How many to ___________s to change a lightbulb jokes (band related):
Trumpets:
A. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much
better they could have done it.
B. One to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how Louis
Armstrong would have done it.
C. None, because the world revolves around them.
D. Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
Flutist
A. Only one, but she'll pay $5,000 for a sterling silver
bulb
Clarinets
A. Only one, but she'll go through the whole box of bulbs
to find the right one.
Third Clarinets:
A. None, they can't go that high.
Euphonium
A. Two, one to screw in the bulb and the other to explain
what a euphonium is.
Drummers
A. "Why? Oh wow! Is it, like, dark in here or something?"
B. Only one, but he'll break 10 bulbs before figuring out
you can't just push it in.
C. 20. One to hold the bulb and 19 to drink 'til the room
spins.
D. Don't they have a machine for that?
E. What kind of mallets do you need?
Tuba
A. Three. One to hold the bulb and two to drink 'til the
room spins.
B. Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain how
high it is.
Saxophone
A. One to do it and four to comment how David Sanborn would
have done it.
~"It's not a drop, it's a floor catch!"